Stop Child Abuse and Sex Crimes: A Topic to be Talked About, Not Ignored!

by Sue Scheff on Jan 03, 2012


“Sex crimes know no boundaries. It’s black, it’s white, it’s Catholic, it’s Jewish.” – Stacey Honowitz

I have lived in South Florida for over 20 years (although born and  raised in New York), we were always made aware that bad things can happen to good people wherever you are.  Stacey Honowitz, who I consider a good friend and devoted crusader for children,  is a twenty-two year veteran of the State Attorney’s Office, seventeen years dedicated to the Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit where she is currently serving as a supervisor.

Stacey Honowitz

She has written two books that target this sensitive and ugly topic of sex abuse and sex crimes.  As the fastest growing crime in the country, Child Sexual Abuse is a national problem. “My Privates are Private” and “Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch” aim to help parents educate their children in a fun and comfortable way.  Both books Stacey Honowitz authored to help educate parents, teachers and children to better understand this ugly crime that is despicable.

She is also a frequent legal commentator who has provided legal analysis for CNN Headline News, Good Morning America, Dateline NBC, CBS News 48 Hours, MSNBC, CNBC, Dr. Drew HLN, Larry King,  as well as Fox News and Court Television. She has prosecuted several high profile cases in south Florida and is also a guest lecturer who speaks about child sex abuse, the sensitive nature of these cases, the navigation of the criminal justice system and the importance of frank and open communication with children about this important and difficult subject matter.

She has provided important information for several years to both parents and children on the issues of child molestation and continues to send the message that the importance of reporting the abuse is the first step in healing. To contact Stacey, email: info@staceyhonowitz.com .

Stacey is available for speaking engagements focusing on Child Sex Crimes, how to discuss sex abuse with your children, adult rape cases, investigations for child pornography, navigating the criminal justice system and the medias role in high profile cases.  Contact her – click here.

Learn more about Stacey’s books and don’t forget to order them today!  Her website is full of valuable information!

 

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20 New Trends in Sex Education

by Sue Scheff on Dec 14, 2011


Parenting includes many sensitive talks with our children, however the birds and the bees still remains one of the most difficult for many parents.

Why?

It seems we are starting it a younger age than generations earlier!

Sex education isn’t necessarily something people like to talk about, but it’s certainly necessary. Without sex education (and often, even with), teens can get into trouble with pregnancy, abortion, STDs, and even AIDS, all of which can have a negative impact on their lives and future happiness. Awareness and education are important, but they’re not always the same. Sex education has changed considerably in recent years, with abstinence-only education, sex education for younger children, and more, so it’s worth taking a look at some new developments in the field. Read on, and we’ll discuss 20 new trends that are going on in sex education right now.

  1. Mandating medically accurate sex education

    It seems like a no-brainer, but many states have recently enacted bills that would require medical accuracy in school sex education. We have to wonder what’s been put out that’s not accurate, but at least these states are working to get it right now. Typically, the educational programs are required to be in accordance with “accepted scientific methods and recognized as accurate and objective by professional organizations and agencies with expertise in the relevant field, such as the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the American Public Health Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.”

  2. Teens aren’t learning about contraception before they have sex

    Sexual activity is common by the late teen years with 7 in 10 teens engaging in intercourse by their 19th birthday. But many students who have engaged in sex report that they didn’t learn about contraceptive use before getting started. In a Guttmacher Institute fact sheet on American teens’ sources of information about sex, 46% of males and 36% of females reported that they didn’t receive formal instructions about contraception before having sex for the first time.

  3. Kids are learning about sex from outside of school

    This is obvious to most, but the majority of sex education actually takes place outside of school. Kids learn about sex from porn, TV, and pop culture these days. Stars like singer Solange Knowles lend their time and image to campaigns that promote safe sex, and even death metal bands get in on the action.

  4. Sex education for younger children

    Sex education can start as young as third grade, although that education doesn’t necessarily involve explicit sex explanations. For third graders in China, sex education starts in the form of a toilet tour, in which children get the opportunity to peek into the other gender’s bathroom to better understand the differences in their bodies and behaviors. Students also view presentations about sperm fertilizing eggs.

  5. Many sex ed programs are abstinence-only

    According to the CDC, about 1/3 of sex education omits the use of birth control, engaging in the controversial abstinence-only sex education that has been both lauded and criticized. However, about 2/3 of teens got instruction in birth control before graduating from high school: about 62% of boys and 70% of girls. Research suggests that comprehensive sex education that includes both abstinence and birth control began to decline from 1995 to 2002 and has not changed much since then.

  6. Federal funding mandates prohibit educating students about contraception

    Since 1997, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion into abstinence-only programs, which require schools to avoid teaching about birth control in order to receive federal funding for sex education. These programs must adhere to a strict eight-point definition of education, with the “exclusive purpose of teaching the social, psychological, and health gains to be realized by abstaining from sexual activity.” Critics point out that the eight-point definition is not created by “evidence-based, public health and social science research,” but rather, a values agenda put in place by Congress.

  7. Elementary schools are passing out condoms

    Schools passing out condoms to students is not a new idea, but some schools are taking things a step further and making them available to virtually all ages. In Provincetown, Massachusetts, one school will allow students as young as first grade to get free condoms, as long as they listen to a talk about sex education beforehand. The program is a move to decrease teen pregnancy. While the superintendent recognizes that first graders and other young elementary school children probably don’t know what condoms are and won’t ask for them, parents are worried that just by having them available, students are going to get the message that it’s acceptable to have sex at such a young age.

  8. Almost all sex-ed programs teach about AIDS and STDs

    Almost all students will learn about AIDS and STDs, a move that is smart for stopping the spread of disease. About 97% of teens report receiving formal sex education by the age of 18, and about 92% of boys and girls report being taught about STDs, including preventing infection with the AIDS virus. This may cut down on the spread of AIDS and STDs now and in the future among young people who are sexually active.

  9. Teen males will use more condoms if they learn about them

    Although federal funding mandates abstinence-only education, research has shown that formal sex education, regardless of whether it includes information about birth control or not, leads to greater condom use among teen males. So even though teen males may not be educated about condoms, being informed about sexuality seems to increase responsibility. According to Condom Use and Consistency Among Male Adolescents in the United States, “the critical factor for male condom use and consistency is the presence of any formal instruction.”

  10. Schools are testing students on health and sex education

    Washington DC public schools annually test student progress in reading and math, and now, they are testing what students know about sexuality, contraception, and drug use as well. This is a bold move in a city with some of the country’s highest rates of sexual transmitted diseases and teen pregnancies. Officials share that the test will fill gaps in what they understand about young people’s awareness and why they behave a certain way. According to Brian Pick, deputy chief of curriculum and instruction for DC Public Schools, “it paints a fuller picture.” Adam Tenner, executive director of MetroTeenAIDS, believes the new test is positive, pointing out that “what gets measured gets done.”

  1. States who denied abstinence-only funding typically have teen pregnancy rates under the national average

    There is a correlation between abstinence-only education and high teen pregnancy rates. In 2005, states who did not receive federal funding for teaching abstinence-only education typically had teen pregnancy rates that were under the national average. Abortion rates also tended to be lower in those states, indicating that students with comprehensive sex education may have more favorable outcomes.

  2. Masturbation isn’t really discussed

    Although abstinence is discussed as an option in virtually every sex education program, whether birth control is mentioned or not, masturbation is hit or miss. Some teachers believe that discussing personal or mutual masturbation can be beneficial to students who want to explore sexuality without the risk of STDs and pregnancy, but others believe that teaching students about masturbation, and mutual masturbation in particular, may just be a prelude to intercourse.

  3. Sex education curriculum often has distorted information

    Parents and students trust sex education programs to teach accurate information, but according to Advocates for Youth, sex education curriculum often includes distorted information. A 2004 study by the House Government Reform Committee took a look at commonly used curricula and found that they contained unproven claims, subjective conclusions, and outright falsehoods, including the “facts” that “half of gay male teenagers in the US have tested positive for HIV,” “condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse,” and “as many as 10 percent of women who have an abortion become sterile.”

  4. Sex education programs with both abstinence and contraceptive education can create favorable outcomes

    Advocates for Youth points out that considerable scientific evidence supports the idea that sex education programs including both abstinence and contraception can help teens delay sexual activity, increase contraceptive use, and have fewer sexual partners when they start having sex. The group also believes that youth development programs that engage young people constructively in communities and schools are helpful. Specifically, Advocates for Youth identifies characteristics of effective curricula, including programs that last more than a few weeks, address peer pressure, and reflect the appropriate age, sexual experience, and culture of the students in the program.

  5. Virginity pledges

    Some teens and young adults have begun to commit to virginity pledges, often as part of church programs. Studies have found that these pledges can delay vaginal intercourse, however, pledgers often replace it with other sexual activities including oral sex and anal sex, both of which do not reduce the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Some studies indicate that virginity pledges may reduce the likelihood of contraceptive use once pledgers engage in sex. The first virginity pledge program was created in 1993, by the name of True Love Waits, started at the Southern Baptist Convention, with now more than 2.5 million pledgers.

  6. Teens are having less sex

    Although parents and concerned citizens worry that today’s teens are having more sex than ever, a CDC survey, Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing indicates that teens’ levels of sexual experience have decreased. The numbers of teens who have had sexual intercourse at least once have not changed significantly, and that number has been in overall decline over the last 20 years. As Examiner.com points out, that means today’s teens are less likely to be sexually experienced than their parents were as teens.

  7. Teens don’t learn about the connection between AIDS and anal sex

    Researchers at the Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center discovered that anal sex is on the rise among teens and young adults. They say that girls are often persuaded to try anal sex to have sex without risking pregnancy or their virginity, but don’t understand the health consequences. Even students who can recite how you get AIDS may not understand how exactly it translates to their behavior, thinking that they can’t get AIDS because they’re not having vaginal sex. In fact, anal sex can be more risky for HIV infection, as tissue may tear and cause direct blood exposure to infected fluids. Lead author Celia Lescano remarks, “There is no doubt that teens lack information about STDs and the safety of different behaviors and they they are engaging in more sexual experimentation.”

  8. Some states leave sex-ed curriculum up to local school districts

    In some states, sexual education curriculum is variable among different school districts, with differences in what is taught and how it’s presented. In Connecticut, for example, the state leaves it all up to local school districts, allowing them to decide what is taught about sex education. The state does, however, offer guidelines on what it believes should be taught, and all public school districts do offer at least basic health education for high school students, and state law requires school districts to teach about HIV. Bonnie Edmondson, a health education consultant at the Connecticut Department of Education shares, “It is a local control issue. The communities have a feel for what is best.”

  9. Teens want more input from parents

    Although most teens are at an age when they are pushing their parents away on a regular basis, the fact is that they would like more input from their parents when it comes to sex education. In Baker County, Florida, teens don’t believe they’re getting adequate sex education from parents or teachers, and they shared that parents need to find better ways to discuss sex with their kids. Some teens pointed out that sex education is first and foremost the parents’ responsibility, and they need to find ways to make the topic less awkward to bring up. They also note that teens learn more about sex from their peers than their parents, and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

  10. The elderly are getting sex education as well

    Schoolkids aren’t the only ones learning about sex these days. The elderly are finding value in sex education as well. In Malaysia, one state is providing sex education for the elderly to stop rising divorce rates. Family development foundation head Mohamad Shafaruddin Mustafa notes, “Many elderly couples sleep in separate bedrooms and are not intimate. This is unhealthy as they can still have vibrant intimate relationships, especially with all kinds of therapy and health supplements now available.” With sex education, elderly couples can better learn how to reconnect and enjoy their sexual relationship together.

Source:  Best Colleges Online

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Teen Dating Abuse: 43% of College Women Have Reported Dating Violence or Abuse

by Sue Scheff on Sep 21, 2011


Nation’s leading experts confirm college dating violence is a much larger problem than anyone realizes

Loveisrespect.org, the National Partnership to End Dating Abuse, launches new initiative to combat dating violence on college campuses nationwide

A new survey reveals dating violence and abuse to be surprisingly more prevalent among college students than previously believed. Nearly half of dating college women (43%) report having ever experienced violent or abusive dating behaviors, and more than one in five (22%) report actual physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of physical violence. Despite the high number of students experiencing these types of abuse, more than one-third of college students (38%) say they would not know how to get help on campus if they found themselves in an abusive relationship.

The survey, “Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” was conducted by Knowledge Networks to address the lack of data on dating violence and abuse among college students and to increase the understanding of this problem on college campuses nationwide.

According to dating violence expert, Dr. Karen Singleton, Director of Sexual Violence Response, a program of Columbia University Health Services, “This survey expands on earlier reports and reinforces the complexity of the issue.” Among the findings are:

·         Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women report having been a victim of an abusive dating relationship in her life.

·         57% of students who report having been in an abusive dating relationship indicate it occurred in college.

·         52% of college women report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal or controlling abuse.

·         Further, 58% of students said they would not know how to help if they knew someone was a victim.

“The findings of this survey prove that colleges and universities need to provide a more comprehensive response and additional creative educational programs to address dating violence and abuse,” said Jane Randel, Senior Vice President, Corporate Communications, Liz Claiborne Inc.

The survey findings were released today, during a forum to educate students about sexual assault prevention and survivor assistance at American University.

The full report of survey results can be found at www.loveisnotabuse.com.

National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle Respond to the Urgent Need for Education

In direct response to these new findings, www.loveisrespect.org, a partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and leading teen dating violence prevention organization, Break the Cycle, is launching an initiative to target college students with new, relevant resources to address the issue of dating abuse.

The expanded online content includes: Take Action (information on how students can get involved on their campus), Stay Safe (safety planning designed specifically for college students) and Help a Friend (information to assist bystanders). The survey shows that 57% of college students say it is difficult to identify dating abuse – substantive evidence of the need for increased education and awareness.

“It is our hope that with these targeted college resources, we can help increase knowledge about how students can combat the issue and ultimately, help prevent the prevalence of dating abuse and violence among students,” said President of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and National Dating Abuse Helpline, Katie-Ray Jones.

The resources are available, free online at www.loveisrespect.org.

In addition, Liz Claiborne Inc. has created a college dating violence curriculum called Love Is Not Abuse, designed to help students deal with dating violence and abuse on campus. The first college curriculum of its kind, Love Is Not Abuse educates students about the dangers and warning signs of dating violence, offers lessons specifically on abuse via technology and provides resources where college students can find help on campus.

The Love Is Not Abuse curriculum was created by a task force consisting of educators and domestic and sexual violence experts from Columbia University, George Mason University, the University of Kansas, Virginia Community College System, Northern Virginia Community College and Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) following the May 2010 murder of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love.

The Love Is Not Abuse college curriculum is available online, free at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum.

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10 Places Teens Go on a First Date

by Sue Scheff on Mar 18, 2011


It’s a big deal when teenagers are finally allowed to date. But, since most young’ins are strapped for cash, can’t drive and have to be home before midnight, they’ve got to get creative when planning a fun first date that their parents will approve of their date will enjoy. Here are 10 places teens go on a first date:

  1. Movies: The movies are a popular place for teens to go to on a first date because it’s casual, cheap and fun. They can go to a matinee or use their student discount to save money on tickets and put it towards important things like popcorn and candy.
  2. Ice Skating Rink: Ice skating is a fun and romantic first date for teenagers, especially if one person needs help skating. They can hold hands and talk as they circle the rink, and sip on hot chocolate when the Zamboni resurfaces the ice.
  3. Arcades: Many teen first dates take place in arcades because it’s good old-fashioned fun. Teens love to challenge each other to a game of air hockey, skee-ball and Ms. Pac-Man, while playfully flirting over who’s better. Arcades offer hours of fun and are relatively cheap.
  4. Restaurants: Many teenagers’ first dates involve going to a restaurant. Teens probably won’t have enough money for anywhere nice, but they can typically afford pizza, burgers and other inexpensive meals. Hopefully, they know to tip and how much is appropriate.
  5. Dances: Teenagers love to dance, and considering the amount of dances that happen every year, it’s no surprise that it’s a favorite activity for first dates. Teenagers can bring their dates to school dances, church dances and other dance functions, where they can hang out with friends and show off their cool dance moves.
  6. Mall: Teens love to stroll the mall and shop during first dates. They might buy some candy at the candy store, peruse the kiosks or make a stuffed animal at Build-A-Bear Workshop. But, teens don’t have to buy anything to have fun at the mall &mdash they can just hang out and talk at the food court, arcade or movie theater inside the mall.
  7. Bowling Alley: The bowling alley is a popular place for teenagers’ first dates because it’s fun and interactive. They can play against each other or form teams with friends to make it competitive and a good time for all participants. Bowling can get expensive, but teens might be able to go at cheaper times and use student discounts.
  8. Miniature Golf: Teens love to play miniature golf on first dates because it’s cheap and good ole’ competitive fun. They can talk and get to know each other while put-putting along. Afterward, they can check out the go-karts or challenge each other in the arcade room.
  9. Coffee Shop: Teenagers may not be coffee drinkers, but they sure do love to meet up at local coffee shops for their first dates. No matter your age, it’s always fun to sit down in a comfy chair and get to know someone over a cup of Joe or hot chocolate.
  10. Paintball Park: Teens love to take their dates paintballing because it’s a fun and competitive activity. It may not be the most romantic thing to treat your date like a blank canvas, but it is a great way to ease the first date jitters and see a different side of your date.

Special contributor:  Mary Edwards

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Sue Scheff: Teens Dating In Groups – Is it Safer?

by Sue Scheff on May 08, 2010


As we hear more about dating violence, sexual assault and abuse, is it safer to date in groups?  It seems so, and with today’s teenage society it is best to know all you can about what our teens are doing.  Being an educated parent can help keep your teen safer, that is a given. Take the time to learn about the group of friend.  A recent article on Connect with Kids has some great advice for parent.

Source: Connect with Kids

Are Teen Group Dates Better?

“I like [group dates] ’cause you can have fun with all your friends – and, like, on one-on-one dates, you’re always self-conscious.”

– Nicole, 16 years old

Prom season is upon us, perhaps the ultimate teen dating experience. Yet, beyond the pomp and circumstance of prom limos, tuxedoes and fancy dresses, lots of teens say they don’t date. Instead, they’re going out in large groups.

Teens like Richard and Holly, when they go on a date, will also invite a few of their closest friends along. “When you’re on a group date, it’s just more fun,” says Holly, “I think that there’s more variety of things to do when you go out.”

It’s fun, but there’s another reason for the popularity of group dating: kids feel “safer.”

As Nancy McGarrah, a licensed psychologist explains, “they are thinking about safety not in necessarily the same way parents are thinking about safety, but they are thinking about rejection.”

“Like [during a] one-on-one date, you’re like, ‘God, what if I say this? Is something bad going to happen?’” laughs 17-year-old Alison.

But while kids take comfort in their emotional security, experts say parents should still be concerned about their physical safety. More kids, they say, can mean more peer pressure.

“Kids in groups get into just as much trouble,” says McGarrah. “You still need to be aware that, you know, there’s a lot of inappropriate sexual activity that kids will get into; there’s a lot of drugs and alcohol problems that kids will get into, smoking activity – things that parents are not going to want their teens doing.”

So, she says, when sending your teen out on a group date, follow the same advice you would if they were going on an individual date.

“You want to know who the people are,” says McGarrah. “It’s really helpful for the parents to have a network where they can be in touch with each other – and know that we’re all kind of on the same plane, thinking the same way about what are appropriate activities, making sure you check in, kids calling in at certain times, giving curfews – those things still apply.”

And if your teen does get into an uncomfortable situation, says McGarrah, “a lot of parents will say, ‘I’ll give you a code word and if you ever call me and say this code word – you know, Minnesota, whatever- we’ll come get you and we won’t ever ask you any questions about why.’ And that gives kids a safety net.”

What Parents Need To Know

When it comes to relationships, parents are a child’s first role model. Experts agree, your teen is watching and paying attention. Be a good relationship role model: Show respect, listen, be attentive and fight fair.

Parents need to be very open with their kids and talk about relationships and sexuality – as well as ways of keeping themselves safe. Sharing factual information with and giving good moral guidance to your teenager is a vitally important part of helping your teen understand herself or himself. “Above all, it is critical that parents be truthful, honest, and available to their children,” says Charles R. Wibbelsman, M.D., FAAP, Chief of Adolescent Medicine at Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco and a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Adolescence.

Though not always an easy and comfortable conversation, parents need to talk with teens about sex and “hooking up” — a common term that usually defines a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a make-out session all the way to sex. Talk with your teens about the difference between sex and dating. Dating is a time when two people are getting to know each other.

To help keep the channels of communication open when it comes to kids and dating, WebMD suggests these strategies for parents:

  • Know what your kids are doing — who they’re emailing, who are their Facebook friends, and who they are hanging out with.
  • Analyze sex in the media: When you watch TV or movies together, use any sexual messages you see as a jumping-off point to start a conversation about healthy relationships and sex.
  • Be curious: When your kids get home from a night out, ask questions: “How was the party? What did you do?” If you’re not getting straight answers, then talk with them about trust, their actions, and the consequences.
  • Avoid accusing your teens of wrongdoing. Instead of asking, “Are you hooking up?” say, “I’m concerned that you might be sexually active without being in a relationship.”

Resources

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Sue Scheff: Teen Dating Violence

by Sue Scheff on Apr 15, 2010


Recent studies show dating violence is on the rise among teens, taking a slight upturn during this recession.  What does this mean?  We, as parents need to talk to our children about the red flags of what can lead to sexual abuse, dating violence and other types of unacceptable behavior.  During the phrase of young love, some teens think it is o-kay to be treated harshly.  Whether it is verbal or physical, it is wrong.  Connect with Kids recently posted an article with excellent insights and tips into dating violence.  Read more.

Source: Connect with Kids

Dating Violence

“I never felt like I was being hurt or anything, it was just a back and forth kind of yelling, nothing more than that.”

– Cameron, 14 years old

The Indiana legislature recently passed “Heather’s Law,” a new bill that encourages schools to address the issue of dating violence. At least four other states have introduced similar legislation this year – and others plan to follow.

Recent studies show dating violence is on the rise among teens, taking a slight upturn during this recession.

How can we talk with our kids about love… and hurt?

Many teens, so swept up in the hot romance of their first love, often fail to see the signs that their relationship may be on thin ice.

Growing up we often romanticize relationships, with a notion that everything is always wonderful and fine…a fairy tale and men and women treat each other equally.

“I never felt like I was being hurt or anything, it was just a back and forth kind of yelling, nothing more than that,” says 14-year-old Cameron.

But experts say many teens who tolerate verbal abuse later discover that abuse turns physical.

“He slammed me on the bed, that’s the only thing he did, he had me pinned down…I’m just punching, kicking him all in his stomach, groin, whatever,” describes 17-year-old Brittany.

Studies show that violence is an element of about 10 percent of all dating relationships. Some reports indicate an increase that may be tied to the harassment, name calling and ridicule that takes place on the Internet.

What can parents do?

Jasmine Willis, a dating violence expert, says that parents need to teach their kids how to communicate in a dating relationship.

“Sit down and talk with the child about what is communication and what it means to be in a healthy relationship,” says Willis.

The problem, says Willis, is that many young lovers don’t have clearly defined limits, and don’t know what to do when things in a relationship turn sour.

“…the first you need to do in coming to terms with what is going on in this relationship and the second thing that I would suggest you do is talk to a friend, a family member or someone in your school you can really trust.”

Perhaps with those lessons in mind, when kids to fall in love, it won’t be a fall that hurts.

Tips for Parents

Dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual or psychological/emotional violence that occurs within a dating relationship. Destructive relationships during the teen years can lead to lifelong unhealthy relationship practices, may disrupt normal development, and can contribute to other unhealthy behaviors in teens that can lead to chronic mental and physical health conditions in adulthood.

According to the Centers for Disease Control 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, one in 10 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence; one in 4 adolescents report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year, about 72 percent of eighth and ninth graders report “dating,” and teen dating abuse most often takes place in the home of one of the partners. Teens who were physically hurt by a dating partner were more likely to say they engage in risky sexual behavior, binge drink, use drugs, attempt suicide, and participate in physical fights.

Dating violence is not just abuse by young men against young women. The bullying, verbal abuse, and physical violence works both ways. It happens when one of the people in a relationship has a fundamental lack of self-esteem.

In January 2010, Congress passed Senate Resolution 373 designating February as “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month,” citing the following statistics:

  • 20 percent of teen girls exposed to physical dating violence did not attend school because the teen girls felt unsafe either at school, or on the way to or from school, on 1 or more occasions in a 30-day period.
  • Digital abuse and “sexting” is becoming a new frontier for teen dating abuse, with one in four teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed, or put down by their partner through cell phones and texting. Three in 10 young people have sent or received nude pictures of other young people on their cell or online, and 61 percent who have ”sexted” report being pressured to do so at least once. Targets of digital abuse are almost 3 times as likely to contemplate suicide as those who have not encountered such abuse (8 percent vs. 3 percent), and targets of digital abuse are nearly 3 times more likely to have considered dropping out of school.
  • Being physically and sexually abused leaves teen girls up to 6 times more likely to become pregnant and more than 2 times as likely to report a sexually transmitted disease.

So what can be done to stop teen dating violence? According to a 2007 survey of teens by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy, teens say that parents most influence their decisions about dating and relationships. Parents should talk with their teens about the characteristics of a healthy relationship, pointing out that any type of violence or power and control within a relationship is not healthy. Teens need to learn about dating violence before they start dating.

References

Learn more at Love is Not Abuse.

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