A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
by Sue Scheff on Jan 25, 2012
It's not always easy having a good mom and daughter relationship.
Being a mother of a daughter I know firsthand that raising a teenage girl can be a challenge. Though my daughter’s teen years are a decade behind me, I listen to parents today and I sympathize with the extra burdens they have to endure with the added pressures of technology. It is not easy. The one common denominator that doesn’t change is most girls always feel they are never pretty enough, thin enough or fit in. This needs to stop. Where does all this low self-worth stem from? As a parent, many of use always try to build out kids up – however peer pressure can be so strong.
Here is a fantastic guest post that I think parents will benefit from:
Just Mom and Me: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide
Mom and daughter relationships are very complicated and multifaceted. Some of them are the best of pals and communicate with each other regularly. Some are forever in the combatant phase. There are some who even steer clear of any kind of clash. But it can be stated without an iota of doubt that there is a whiff of all these traits in almost all relationships.
The million dollar question here is for the mommies, “how to raise your darling daughters into influential girls who are self-confident?” they become adept at making constructive choices regarding their own lives and execute productive actions for others. In spite of being normal girls with their little insecurities, they have a strong will and feel all right about themselves. You should know that these girls will mature sensibly and lead a worthwhile and satiated life.
Acknowledge your family’s most valued ideals
It is very essential to mull over your family ethics and contemplate upon the means by which you will put across these values. Be sure to include suitable examples to corroborate your message in the most appropriate manner. For this you have to constantly keep a check on instances in your daily life to exemplify these ideals you want your daughter to imbibe.
Persuade your daughter to resolve her own issues before settling it yourself
You have to coach your daughter to make her own decisions. She has to be independent and develop her own aptitude to deal with situations. Tell her to deliberate upon more than two approaches to deal with the circumstances and then inquire about likely consequences. You should convince her to make her own decisions for the very dilemma. It is okay even if you do not see things the same way; at least now your daughter has a feeling of control over her life.
Do not let her accomplish by magnitude, creates trouble
Try to make your daughter toil and excel at one thing at a time. Do not become hasty in trying to make them into little mechanical multi-taskers. Yes, this is an extremely competitive world and the motto of survival of the fittest is “the thing” to follow. But give your daughter some space and let her follow her own interests. You are there to guide her of course. Do not register her in infinite activities like dramatics, soccer, art, music etc. the belief that self worth is acquired by who you are and not what you achieve.
Make your daughter work together with other girls
If your daughter works jointly with other a girl of her school and solves her predicaments together, she will excel later in taking big risks and tackle many trials and tribulations in life. Working together makes them have an unbelievable sense of achievement and feeling of proficiency. All this is good for your daughter and good for you in the long run. So the bottom-line is inspire your daughter to take part in team-building activities where everyone works cooperatively to provide solutions to their problems.
Let your daughter be aware of the fact that you love her because of who she is
Do not be over fixated about everything your daughter does. She needs her own space just like you do as a mother. Keep encouraging her to have good habits but never obsess about it too much. It is alright if she takes her own time, everything does not happen overnight. But, show a positive reception for her individuality. Do not keep cribbing about her weight or her looks as she first needs to recognize her inner self. You need to deflate the thought that beauty is just about your appearance. Over obsession about the physical appearance will definitely lead to a lot of insecurities in your daughter’s life.
So, remember this rearing a girl up can be very thrilling and stimulating. Both of you can work it out together and enjoy so many things together. Maintain this bond even when she grows older. She will appreciate it for sure and you will always cherish it forever.
About the author: Alia Haley is a blogger and writer. She loves writing on topics related to wedding, health and luxury. Beside this she is fond of bags. She recently shared an article on designer baby clothes. These days she is busy in writing an article on Teeth whitening kits.
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Tags: moms and daughters, mothers and daughters, Parenting, parenting daughters, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, talking with teens, teen confidence, Teen girls survival guide, Teen Help, Teen Issues, teen relationships, Teen Self Esteem
Family Conflict: 10 Signs a Parent is Upset with their Teenager
by Sue Scheff on Jan 24, 2012
Raising teens today can be contentious and get your blood pressure boiling. The lack of respect towards parents and most authority is very disturbing in today’s society. I often say the sense of entitlement issue can be a large cause of today’s defiant teens. Either way, parents are struggling with kids that are literally holding parents hostage in their own homes.
Here is a great guest post by Barbara Williams:
Working as a nanny can be a rewarding and fulfilling job for people who love children. However, getting along with the parents can sometimes be a challenge. The important thing to remember is, no matter how much you love the children, the parents are the boss. You need to make sure they are happy with your work because the parents are ones signing your paychecks. It might not always be obvious that you’re doing something to displease them, so here are 10 signs a parent is upset with you.
- Not speaking – Some parents aren’t good at communicating their displeasure so they’ll give you the silent treatment. Instead of a light banter at the end of the day they’ll only answer direct questions with short terse statements. If this starts happening you better find out if you did something wrong or if they’re just having a bad day.
- Exasperated sighs – Another unspoken sign a parent is upset with you is the exasperated sigh. Nannies who hear this better be on their toes. You should probably find out what the parent is unhappy about.
- Facial expressions – It’s important for nannies to be able to read the parent’s facial expressions. A furrowed brow or tenseness around the mouth could be a sign you did something wrong.
- Schedule a talk – When parents tell you they want to schedule a little talk, you may be in trouble. They may say something about having to go over a few things or the need to reevaluate your duties. Uh-oh!
- Send you home early – Another sign you made them unhappy is when they send you home early for no apparent reason. This could mean they are so upset they don’t even want to have you around.
- Day off for no reason – Getting an unscheduled day off could seem like a good thing at first, but you might want to beware. This could mean the parents are reevaluating your position. They may even be scheduling interviews with other potential nannies.
- Unreasonable demands – Some parents will do just the opposite and start making unreasonable demands when they’re upset with you. This could be their way of punishing you for whatever misdeeds you’ve done.
- Exaggerated niceness – Some parents will express their displeasure by treating you with exaggerated niceness. This forced and fake kindness that is dripping with sarcasm is a clear sign they’re upset.
- Kids tell you – Of course kids don’t have filters on their expressions like adults do, so they are more likely to tell you when their parents are upset and why. Nannies can often rely on the children to let something slip if there’s a problem the parents won’t tell them about.
- They tell you – Of course the best way to find out a parent is upset with you is for them to tell you. It’s much better for them to let you know right away if you’re doing something they don’t like so you can rectify the situation.
Everyone handles conflict differently and some people are very uncomfortable with confrontations. They’ll do anything to avoid unpleasantness. The best thing to do is have good communication between both the parents and the nannies. It’s not good to let problems fester when they can re resolved quickly and amicably. Nannies should watch for these signs that the parents are upset and work hard to resolve the situation.
Source: Find a Babysitter
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Tags: At Risk Teens, Defiant Teens, Disrespectful Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Problem Teens, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens, Wits End
“Txting While Driving…. It Can Wait” campaign
by Sue Scheff on Jan 20, 2012
"Txting...It can wait"
Distracted driving kills. Whether it is drinking and driving or texting and driving, if you are not driving and paying attention to the road and your car, you are not only endangering yourself, you are a danger to others on the road.
AT&T has been committed to bring awareness and helping prevent distracted driving.
Below is a link to a video that AT&T shot last week during a teen safety fair in Washington D.C., sponsored by a DC TV station and the National Organizations for Youth Safety (NOYS) — a network of national associations and federal agencies focused on youth safety and health. (You may recall, last May AT&T announced a $1 million commitment in the fight against texting and driving. That commitment involves a contribution to NOYS to develop and train student ambassadors on anti-texting-while-driving education. The students then host summits on the topic within their schools and hometowns throughout the school year.)
As part of the D.C. teen safety fair, AT&T had a TWD Simulator on site to give teens a first-hand experience at just how much of a distraction texting and driving can be. As you’ll see from the video, the simulator is a full-sized car. Kids get in the simulator, put on goggles and start driving, using a heads-up street display in their goggles. They then send a text message and the inevitable result is the kid crashes into a car or a pedestrian.
Link to TWD Simulator: http://silo.mediasilo.com/weblink/FBF9900EF2686B78BA344B8D06D55ECC/22455/
Background on our “Txting While Driving … It Can Wait” campaign:
While distracted driving is an issue for all motorists, teenagers are particularly at risk. Traffic crashes are the leading cause of death for teens, and the proliferation of distracted driving among teens is a huge challenge.
That’s why AT&T”s “Txting…It Can Wait” public awareness campaign is especially focused on educating teens about the risks of texting while driving and spreading the message that text messages can wait. Not even red lights, professionals say, signal a “safe” time to text.
As part of its campaign, AT&T has developed a powerful documentary called “The Last Text” that examines the real world consequences of texting and driving. Each of the eight individuals in the video — whose lives have been impacted tragically by texting while driving — volunteered their stories to help educate Americans — particularly youth — on the risks of texting behind the wheel. The documentary can be viewed online on the AT&T “It Can Wait” website and on the AT&T YouTube page.
Texting is so dangerous because it takes a driver’s eyes off the road for an average of 5 seconds. At 55 mph, that’s like driving the length of a football field completely blind. Studies show a driver’s reaction time is doubled when reading or sending a text, and that motorists sending a text while driving are 23 more times likely to be in a crash.
Tags: ATT, Cell Phone Safety, Distracted Driving, It can wait, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Safe Driving, Teen Issues, Teens Driving, Teens Texting, Texting and Driving
Are You Raising Strong Children or Broken Adults?
by Sue Scheff on Jan 17, 2012
It is not a secret, raising children and especially teens today is not an easy task. With this, my special guest contributor, friend and colleague, Aurelia Williams, has written an article that I think many parents will benefit from. Starting with a firm and solid foundation can secure a better future…. read on…
What will your teen learn from their childhood?
Are You Raising Strong Children or Broken Adults?
Fredrick Douglas once said “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.“ I don’t think that there is a caring mother out there that doesn’t want to see her child grow up to be a strong adult. Throughout childhood, there are many circumstances that arise that can either build the child up or tear him down. Over the years and throughout these circumstances, your child can either grow into an assertive, strong adult or an adult that is timid, broken and weak.
The world is filled with many influences that will be presented to your child that you will have little or no control over and those influences can affect your child. Children develop attitudes toward themselves and others as a direct response to the words, actions and the beliefs that people communicate to them. What do your words and beliefs say to your child? If you want your child to grow up to be strong, secure adult, you must give him a firm foundation.
As a mom, it’s perfectly natural to want to stand up for and protect your child, but there are ways that this can go too far. Many moms don’t want to see their child struggle with problems or fight battles with their peers, so those moms take it upon themselves to fight their children’s battles for them. While they may think that they are helping their child, they are actually crippling them and making them weaker in the long run. If moms keep jumping in to fight their kids battles, their children will grow up to be broken, weak adults.
It is important to know when and how to step up to or away from battles that our children face.
It is the parents’ job to assist children as they navigate through all the twists and turns that life is filled with. That means we must teach them how to handle problems and they must practice what we teach.
Here are a few steps you can take to raise strong children:
Set a great example – Children will copy you. Just as sure as a child can act out or repeat all of the negative things parents do, they will do the same with the positive things as well. If you want your child to be strong and assertive, be sure that you stand up for your beliefs and views, even if it means going against the grain a bit.
Positive Words and Praise – Positive words go a long way. Be sure to let your child know that you value people who speak their mind respectfully. Praise your child when you witness them exhibiting strong, respectful behavior. This works wonders to boost up their confidence.
Don’t Sugar Coat - Be honest with your child about the difficult issues they may face! Break things down to your child’s level so that they understand the hard issues. Talk openly to your child about the possible battles they may face. When it comes to the issue of peer pressure, help them to come up with ways to combat it. Use real life examples and role play in order to get the point across.
This issue of supplying our children with the tools that they need to be assertive, well adjusted and confident is important. The end result is that if you don’t learn when and how to step back, your child will not be prepared for the bigger issues that he or she will face as they grow up.
Aurelia Williams, Owner of Parenting My Teen
About the author:
Aurelia Williams, owner of Parenting My Teen has organized a totally free coaching class where she will share strategies with you that will help you know when and how to step into or step back from the battles your kids face. It is totally free and is chock full of useful information that you can use immediately! Sign up and perhaps there will be just one less weak, broken adult in the world because of it.
Tags: Aurelia Williams, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting My Teen, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Teen Help
Horizon Academy – Red River Academy – Specialty Boarding Schools or Not?
by Sue Scheff on Jan 12, 2012
Who do you trust behind the screen?
Troubled teens, teen help, struggling teens, at-risk teens, problem teens, difficult teens, boot camps, military schools, behavior modification, specialty schools, specialty programs, teen help programs, boarding schools, residential treatment centers, residential therapy, emotional growth programs, therapeutic boarding schools, wilderness programs, defiant teens, manipulative teens, disengaged from the family, family conflict, hopelessness, WIT’S END….
You have about reached your wit’s end when you are searching the web and typing in about every keyword you believe describes what you think you are looking for. Glorified websites appear – maybe some not so beautiful, maybe you want a Christian setting, maybe you think a good boot camp or have that traditional thinking of an old fashioned military school…. however you will soon realize this isn’t 50 years ago. There are legitimate residential therapeutic schools today and it is a parent job to do their research to be sure they find a safe and quality program that fits their individual needs.
After hours – days – even weeks (I have actually spoken to parents that have spent months) on the Internet, sometimes the confusion can deepen, which is why I did create Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.
With this – I am only sharing my own experiences…. and it has to do with the affiliated programs with the title of this Blog….
Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?
So, your teen is driving your crazy. You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources. Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend. Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all. Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.
Where did our good kid go? Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!
As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them. Obviously not pleasant. Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.
Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.
Then we come to Horizon Academy. Another alleged WWASPS facility. Why say alleged? Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs. Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.
So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education. None of which I had signed up for. Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.
Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements. I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too. No one condones child abuse – period.
I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way. I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end. I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down. That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.
I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research. Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and my knowledge.
Please – take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.
I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours? Extracted? Really – is your child a tooth? Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.
My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs! We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.
Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online! Lies and twisted facts! Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.
This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…
Tags: Difficult Teens, Educational Consultants, Horizon Academy, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Problem Teens, Red River Academy, Struggling Teens, Sue Scheff, Teen substance abuse, Troubled Teens, Wits End
Problem Teens, Teen Help and Parents Searching the Internet
by Sue Scheff on Jan 09, 2012
When is enough - enough?
Second semester. Some teens have had enough. They don’t want to go to school anymore. They believe they know it all. It is easier to get a GED, after all, some of their so-called friend are doing it!
Your once happy, bouncing toddler that strolled into kindergarten, brought that artwork home for your refrigerator, and may have end participated in the school plays has now decided that hanging out with a new group of peers that are less than what you would have selected for them, is their thing….
As much as you are trying to ignore or just say it is a phase, you notice your teen is withdrawing from the family, failing in school, smell alcohol, maybe even marijuana, cigarettes, and overall have become a child you no longer recognize with a personality that is defiant and totally disrespectful the the family boundaries – what do you do?
Most parents try local therapy – which is a great first step, but when happens when therapy doesn’t work? You can’t be afraid to take that next step! A parent in a denial only harms your teenager. Don’t be held hostage in your home by your teen’s behavior.
Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.
Usually a teen’s behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better. As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn’t.
With drug use and substance abuse rising – more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned. It isn’t your marijuana of generations prior – it is so much worse and in many cases – addictive and deadly.
If you have reached your wit’s end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website. Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content. You need to do your due diligence.
Years ago I struggled with my own teenager. I was at my wit’s end. I didn’t realize what a big business this “teen help industry” was. Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that. My story is a cautionary tale – not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.
You can do it without spending thousands!
Here are some quick tips:
- Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child’s individual needs.
- Always speak with an owner or director – Someone that has a vested in your teen’s recovery. Their reputation is on the line.
- Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted. They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program. What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn’t coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe – and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist – new schedule – and new setting. Don’t get caught up in this “shuffle.” Start and finish with the same school/program.
- The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen. Anything less is probably non-effective. Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
- Do you really need an Educational Consultant? Absolutely not. You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do – with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.
For more helpful hint and tips, please contact www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation. After the ordeal I went through, I created this advocacy organization to help educate parents on finding safe and quality programs.
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Tags: At Risk Teens, Boarding Schools, Defiant Teens, Difficult Teens, Educational Consultants, Entitlement Issues, good kids bad choices, High School Dropouts, IECA, NATSAP, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Problem Teens, Residential Treatment Centers, Struggling Teens, Teen Help, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Troubled Teens, Wits End
Stop Child Abuse and Sex Crimes: A Topic to be Talked About, Not Ignored!
by Sue Scheff on Jan 03, 2012
“Sex crimes know no boundaries. It’s black, it’s white, it’s Catholic, it’s Jewish.” – Stacey Honowitz
I have lived in South Florida for over 20 years (although born and raised in New York), we were always made aware that bad things can happen to good people wherever you are. Stacey Honowitz, who I consider a good friend and devoted crusader for children, is a twenty-two year veteran of the State Attorney’s Office, seventeen years dedicated to the Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit where she is currently serving as a supervisor.
Stacey Honowitz
She has written two books that target this sensitive and ugly topic of sex abuse and sex crimes. As the fastest growing crime in the country, Child Sexual Abuse is a national problem. “My Privates are Private” and “Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch” aim to help parents educate their children in a fun and comfortable way. Both books Stacey Honowitz authored to help educate parents, teachers and children to better understand this ugly crime that is despicable.
She is also a frequent legal commentator who has provided legal analysis for CNN Headline News, Good Morning America, Dateline NBC, CBS News 48 Hours, MSNBC, CNBC, Dr. Drew HLN, Larry King, as well as Fox News and Court Television. She has prosecuted several high profile cases in south Florida and is also a guest lecturer who speaks about child sex abuse, the sensitive nature of these cases, the navigation of the criminal justice system and the importance of frank and open communication with children about this important and difficult subject matter.
She has provided important information for several years to both parents and children on the issues of child molestation and continues to send the message that the importance of reporting the abuse is the first step in healing. To contact Stacey, email: info@staceyhonowitz.com .
Stacey is available for speaking engagements focusing on Child Sex Crimes, how to discuss sex abuse with your children, adult rape cases, investigations for child pornography, navigating the criminal justice system and the medias role in high profile cases. Contact her – click here.
Learn more about Stacey’s books and don’t forget to order them today! Her website is full of valuable information!
Tags: Child Molestation, Child Sex Abuse, Dating Violence, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Sex Abuse, Sex Crimes, Stacey Honowitz, Teen Help, Teen Sex Abuse
Cybertraps for the Young: Who is Protecting Your Kids?
by Sue Scheff on Dec 29, 2011
I was recently introduced to this book and have to share it with everyone. As technology and social networking expands, so does digital dangers. I am a big believer that education is the key to prevention.
When parents say that they are going to remove their teen’s computer, take away their cell phone – or have their teen delete their Facebook – it is almost comical. Do they actually think a teen is not savvy enough to create a new page, borrow a friends phone or even go to an Internet cafe or library? Parents, you always need to be a step ahead of your kids – you need to show your kids the dangers – the risks – the pitfalls – so they don’t get tangled in the web! Here is a good start…..
Order today!
Cybertraps for the Young
by Frederick S. Lane
‘SEXT EDUCATION’ AND ‘CYBERETHICS’:
WHAT EVERY PARENT MUST KNOW ABOUT
THE TECHNOLOGY CAPABILITIES OF CHILDREN
—Leading expert on emerging technology breaks down the implications of technology misuse amongst teens and provides tips on how to monitor online activity in new book
Just how ‘connected’ are today’s youth?
- The average child possesses their first cell phone before age 10
- In October 2010, 43% of teen cell phone users reported that their primary reason for having a phone was to text message friends
- Roughly 50% of teens in the U.S. use Facebook
- 81% of children between the ages of 12 and 17 own at least one gaming console
- 23% of children under 5 regularly use the Internet
With fast downloads, mass file sharing, instant uploads, and lightning-fast Internet searches available at the click of a button, a host of new technologies—cell phones, gaming systems, laptops, tablets, and digital cameras—are helping teens commit irrevocable mistakes. As today’s youth continues to be a targeted consumer audience for emerging technology, it is increasingly critical for parents and educators to identify, understand, and discuss the consequences of technology misuse with children.
In his new book, Cybertraps for the Young, attorney and computer forensics expert Frederick Lane describes the most prevalent cybertraps confronting children today. After outlining the legal consequences which can result from inappropriate online behavior, he provides parents with insightful strategies for discussing safe and ethical technology use with their children.
“Cyber responsibility starts at home and, now more than ever, it’s crucial parents have regular conversations with their kids about online safety,” Lane says. “Children should not get access to powerful communication tools until they understand the risks associated with them.”
Unlike other books on new technologies, Cybertraps for the Young focuses on the serious personal and legal consequences children may face as a result of their online behavior. From the most common and easily triggered cybertraps, including those arising from new tools like the iPhone’s new live video chat capability, “Face Time,” to lesser-known risks like peer-to-peer file sharing, Lane offers a candid look at how schools, law enforcement agents, and state and federal prosecutors are taking increasingly tough stands against young offenders. Drawing on contemporary news stories, case studies, and personal courtroom experiences, Lane provides a startling investigation of the numerous cybertraps that continue to dominate today’s headlines: oversharing personal information, plagiarism and high-tech cheating, cyberbullying and cyber harassment, libel and slander, hacking, sexting and sextortion, and child pornography on Peer-to-Peer networks.
In addition to the analysis of the cybertraps for parents, Lane stresses the need to incorporate cybersafety and cyberethics lessons into the American education system. Backed by his decade on the Burlington School Board in Vermont, Lane provides tips to parents on how to approach their local school districts and advocate for cyberethics education at all grade levels.
“We emphasize the practice of safe sex in sex education; we teach gun safety as a prerequisite for a hunting license; and we teach auto safety in driver’s education,” notes Lane. “As technology continues to advance, cyberethics should be a staple in the school curricula.”
In this first book of its kind, Lane delves into:
- The capabilities of emerging technology, including camera cell phones, gaming systems, tablets, live video chat, and digital cameras, among others
- How and when to start educating children about cyberethics and potential cybertraps
- How to monitor children’s online activity—both by physically tracking their conduct and by using monitoring tools and software
- The legal and personal consequences of specific cybertraps, including sexting, cyber-bullying, and hacking
- What parents can do to notify their school districts and state legislatures about the need for cyber education
About the author:
Frederick Lane is an author, attorney, expert witness, and professional speaker on the legal and cultural implications of emerging technology. A 1988 graduate of Boston College Law School, Lane practiced law for five years before launching his own computer consulting business, a career move which ultimately led him to his current work as a writer, lecturer, and computer forensics expert. Over the past 12 years, Lane has worked on a wide variety of criminal cases, including copyright infringement, stalking, embezzlement, theft of intellectual property, obscenity, and child pornography.
In addition to his professional background, Lane has served on the Burlington School Board in Vermont since October 2001 and served as chairman of the Board for the past two years. He is the author of 5 highly acclaimed books, a number of which deal with technology boundaries. Lane is also the father of two teenage boys.
For more information about Frederick Lane and Cybertraps for the Young, please visit www.cybertrapsfortheyoung.com or www.FrederickLane.com. Cybertraps for the Young will be available on ntiupstream.com or on Amazon.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Cybertraps for the Young, Internet Safety, Online Safety, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Books, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sexting, Social Networking, Teen Help
Buzzed Driving Kills the Same as Drunk Driving
by Sue Scheff on Dec 26, 2011
Apparently, Rudolph isn’t the only one with a red nose. 43% of the driving fatalities on Christmas Day are alcohol-related. – Buzzed Driving
Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Getting behind the wheel after even just one too many drinks can lead to disaster.
Many people think that if they just have a few drinks, even two, they are sober enough to operate a vehicle. Maybe they are, but maybe they aren’t. What happens when it is your mother, father, son, daughter, friend that is suddenly no longer with us to celebrate the holidays because someone decided they were sober enough to drive?
Drinking and driving or buzzed driving kills. There is not alternatives – there is no turning back. Distracted driving is just as serious, and you are kidding yourself if you think differently.
Put down the cell phone, the text can wait, and you can enjoy a party as long as you remember to sober up before getting in your car. Don’t become a statistic this holiday season.
Take the pledge: I’m going to be smart; I won’t drive while buzzed.
Join Buzzed Driving on Facebook and follow them on Twitter for updated statistics.
Also follow MADD Online for important information on drinking and driving, especially when it comes to our teens. You can also join them on Facebook.
Tags: Buzzed Driving, Drinking and Driving, Drunk Driving, DUI, DWI, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Teen Drinking, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Underage Drinking
Holiday Blues aren’t just for adults: Check on your teens, their Facebook Status is a good place to start
by Sue Scheff on Dec 24, 2011
WHEN SAFETY TRUMPS PRIVACY.
“When will this end?”
“I hate my life”
RED FLAGS and parenting. Know them!
Facebook is the social hangout of the internet for all ages, but it is particularly true of teenagers.
Teenagers often are much more open about what they are thinking and feeling in this cyber environment than most older adults. Since teens experience many emotional ups and downs, it can be easy to dismiss most of their dramatic postings as nothing more than normal teenage drama. However, there have been too many instances in recent years when parents had wished they’d paid more attention to what their teenager had posted as their ‘current status’.
Here a few status updates parents should watch for and investigate further.
Know how your teen is feeling....It could save their life.
- I can’t take it anymore. Although, this could mean anything from homework overload to sibling irritation, it could also be a cry for help from a teen who is truly overwhelmed with life in someway. It is not a status update that you want to ignore. Parents should take the initiative and find out what prompted this entry.
- Text me. This may seem innocent enough, but, for some parents, it may be a signal that their teen may be trying to keep something hidden that needs to be in the open. Privacy and protection are always a fine line to walk with teenagers. Parents, however, should never hesitate to ask about the reason behind such a post.
- Really loaded right now. If your teen is high enough to make this post on Facebook without thinking about the fact that their parents might see it, there is drug or alcohol abuse going on. Ignoring these types of problems does not make them go away.
- Depressing song lyrics. Song lyrics are popular posts from teens. It may be what they’re listening to at the moment or a song that is running through their head. If the lyrics of the songs are continually negative and depressing, this could be an indication of the teen’s emotional state, as well.
- No one understands. This is a common feeling during teenage years, but it is also one that can develop into a true depressive state. Seeing this posted as your teen’s Facebook status should raise enough concern for their parents to pursue the reasons behind the posting.
- I hate my life. Again, this is not an unusual statement to come from a teen at different points in their adolescence, however, posting it as your Facebook status is similar to shouting it from the rooftops. It is always better to treat these statements seriously, than to ignore them as a simple impulse statement.
- Forgive me, Mom & Dad. This kind of post would be one that should require immediate connection with your child. If it doesn’t mention what they are asking forgiveness for, it may be a subtle plea for you to stop them from doing something terrible. Take this very seriously!
- You’re all going to die. In light of the terrible things we have seen happen in our schools, a teen who posts something like this should not be ignored. “I was just joking” is not an acceptable explanation for this type of post. A teen who posts such a statement publicly should expect inquiry from, not only his parents, but school and law enforcement as well.
- I wish I were dead. Never assume these statements are words only. Any type of suicidal expression like this should be taken very seriously. Many parents have had the misfortune of finding out that even a verbal statement can be an indication of suicidal thoughts. A public posting of that thought should be taken just as seriously.
- I hate my school. The key word in this status update is ‘my’. It doesn’t say ‘I hate school’, it is more specific than that. It would behoove the parents to find out what it is, about the child’s school, that made them post this statement, and what can be done to improve the situation.
Facebook status updates reach a lot of people, a parent of a teenager should definitely be one of those people who pays attention to what their child is broadcasting into cyberspace. It may be their way of trying to find out if anyone is really paying attention, and if anyone really cares.
Source: My ISP Finder
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Tags: At Risk Teens, Facebook status, holiday blues, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Struggling Teens, Teen Depression, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Sadness, Troubled Teens
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