Generations ago, most of us remember our parents sending us outside to play with our neighborhood friends, riding our bikes, building forts and not coming back until dinner time. Many may remember family supper when everyone sat around the dinner table and had conversations without the interruptions of ringtones, bells, and tech notifications.
Overall, there is nothing wrong with progress and evolution of our lives; it’s about learning how to handle these changes — if only we had the foresight to better understand the impact of how technology on youth.
Challenges of parenting teens today
1. Technology and mental health
“Social media was not a part of my parents’ teenage lives and I feel that they did not have to ‘curate’ themselves and be a certain way in order to fit [in] as it is today.” – Teen girl, PEW Research
A 2024 report by PEW Research Center shares that the majority of parents (69%) believe that technology is the biggest influence that makes parenting harder today than 20 years ago.
Social media is one of the major culprits’ parents blamed at 41%, as teenagers are constantly scrolling and comparing themselves to others. This is contributing not only to self-esteem issues, but to mental health concerns.
While social media platforms are not inherently harmful, there are negative effects associated with their use.
Teenagers are unaware that platforms are designed to be addictive and are associated with depression, anxiety, and even physical ailments.
Other risks to consider that can impact your teen’s mental well-being include; cyberbullying, body image issues, low self-worth, FOMO (fear of missing out), sextortion, and more.
Positive side of mental health today:
“I think mental health is taken more seriously, so parents are more in tune with their childrens’ emotions.” – Mother, PEW Research
2. Technology and academics
“Adults expect too much from us. We need to get good grades, do extracurricular activities, have a social life, and work part time – all at the same time.” – Teen boy, PEW Research
Although 31% of teens don’t always specifically mention technology, they say life is more difficult because of pressures and expectations they are feeling.
Today school has become a struggle for some teenagers. More and more parents are dealing with school refusal or teens not attending classes. Since 2020, some parents have witnessed their smart teenager going from being a straight-A student to barely passing.
With the constant intake of social media, the pressures they are feeling at home, at school and with their digital life — can be overwhelming. This can create poor study habits due to their lack of focus and attention span which can lead to their failing academic performance.
Positive side of academics today:
“The education system has been dumbed down. Rather than have students achieve a high standard, they have lowered the standard so that more students can achieve them. I believe they call it equity. The same with sports – everyone is a winner.” Father, PEW Research
3. Technology and drugs
“My anxiety is pretty high now. I don’t think my mom had anxiety like this when she was my age.” Teen girl, PEW Research
Teenagers today are suffering with more stress and anxiety than decades earlier; according to the PEW report, both parents and teens believe life is harder today due to violence and drugs.
In today’s world, access to online drugs is a major concern for parents — one we never had to worry about generations before.
Social media is almost exclusively how teens are getting illicit pills now, and about 90% of these pills contain fentanyl. And with features like encryption and disappearing messages on the most popular apps, their use for selling drugs keeps growing.
In 2021, 77% of teen overdose deaths were caused by fentanyl. Teens that are searching for ways to relieve their anxiety, loneliness, or even sadness can easily stumble on to dark areas online that will take advantage of them.
Positive side of parenting tech and drugs:
“Parents seem better equipped to help their children to try to give them a better life than what they had.” Mother, PEW Research
Parents and teens working together
Having a better understanding of where we are today can help parents work with their teenager towards healthy habits with technology as well as their emotional and physical wellness.
Since 2010 the evolution of technology, smartphones and especially social media has completely taken over many of our lives in ways most of us were not prepared for — mostly the younger generation.
It wasn’t until 2023 when the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory, Social Media and Youth Mental Health, digging into the complex world teenagers and youth are dealing with online, especially when they are not emotionally prepared.
This is part of what is contributing to our mental health crisis among teens, as well as the death rate of teens aged 15-19 due to drug overdose.
3 Ways to join generations:
1. Teens need boundaries (and want them) it’s not only about having a technology agreement, talk to them about how to manage their screentime.
2. Mixing old with the new. Bring back something from your childhood; family meals (maybe a few times a week), Sunday dinner, biking with friends, visiting relatives that you may have been putting off.
3. Volunteer, community service. There is no better way to get unplugged than to give back in your community or neighborhood. You may want to go to a nursing home and teach seniors to use their technology!
We don’t want to ignore the fact there are many positive sides to social media. It has made our lives better in many ways such as connecting with friends, family and building businesses or pursuing your hobbies and interests.
As with everything in life, it’s about moderation — being mature enough to handle the content with and without filters and knowing when to turn it off.
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