Are you struggling with a defiant teenager, especially if you attempt to remove their devices? Has teen disrespect for you and your home become normal and you feel like a punching bag? Punishing a child is much different than a teenager. How do you punish a teenager; the discipline challenges are not always easy.
As your child matures into a teenager, testing the limits of their independence is part of growing up — it can also be a stressful time as they become more argumentative with you and test their boundaries. Maybe breaking their curfew, talking back, or even sneaking out.
Discipline Challenges for Parents of Teens
It’s very common as your teen develops into their own person, they want more freedom than they can handle. This can mean breaking your rules such as unlimited access to their devices or staying out late.
Teens are quick to complain that you are controlling their life, you don’t understand them and may even lie to get out of trouble. Sometimes this can turn into rage and/or explosive behavior when they feel like they are not getting what they want.
You may experience your teen talking back, nasty attitude (short temper), eye rolling and other disrespectful behavior that is not acceptable.
Strategies to Punish Your Teen that Will Work
When it comes to disciplining teenagers, it’s important to be firm and consistent, but also fair and reasonable.
Your teenager is old enough to understand when the consequence fits the crime, and they’ll be more cooperative they know you are not just trying to exert your power over them. Punishments for teenagers should be related to the infraction and aim to teach them, rather than humiliate them or break them down.
Communication is Key
Start a conversation in an open and honest manner focused on solving the problem, and let your teen be part of the decision-making process.
If your teen has been displaying several problematic or risky behaviors, tackle just one issue at a time.
Be sure to listen closely to his or her feelings and concerns, don’t be a parent who sets the rules without considering your teen’s opinions and thoughts. They will be more open to buy in if they are part of this dialogue.
Set Clear Expectations
Your teen should know well in advance what your expectations are of them, such as their curfew and what the consequences are if they break these rules.
Discuss appropriate boundaries with your teens, and help them understand the reasons behind them. Make the rules as specific as possible — don’t be vague.
Be Consistence
It’s imperative you are consistence with your rules and boundaries. Teens don’t take them seriously when they know parents will go soft and won’t always enforce them.
When you’ve set a rule and a consequence for breaking it, make sure you follow through.
Teenagers might try to take advantage of the situation if one parent is firm while the other parent isn’t. Try to ensure that you and your parenting partner are on the same page.
Natural Consequences
Natural consequences can be the best teachers in certain situations. But it’s important to make sure the natural consequences will really teach your teen a life lesson.
Natural consequences don’t require your involvement. As long as the consequences don’t lead to safety hazards, it’s best to avoid stepping in.
Some examples of natural consequences are: If they don’t study for a test, they may fail. I they forget their sports jersey, they may not be able to play their sport.
Choose Your Battles
Don’t bend on safety issues but consider letting other things (your teen’s new bold fashion sense, for example) slide.
Maybe you don’t like their new friend. Take time to get to them them, so your teen sees you making the effort. If you still don’t care for them, you can give your teen some reasons why you don’t believe this is a good decision.
Remove Privileges
If your teen violates the rules, they may be showing you they can’t handle the freedom you’re giving them. Tighten the rules by giving them an earlier curfew or by reducing the amount of time they spend using their electronics.
Smartphones, laptops and any screen time is typically vital to most teenagers. Restricting your teen’s phone privileges can be an effective consequence, but make sure it’s time limited. Usually, 24 hours is long enough to send a clear message to your teenager. If you go longer, they may try to find a burner phone or use others.
If your teen’s misbehavior involves friends, first discuss their actions and then make adjustments to their social privileges.
Listening
Having effective communication skills with your child is imperative, however as your child reaches their teenage years, it’s more about listening.
With teens, you want to take the time to listen, ask questions, and support your teen’s journey toward figuring out their own solutions to their problems. Talking out their issues with you can help them understand what they are feeling and help them cope with whatever is going on.
In conclusion
Discipline can get tricky as your teen gets closer to adulthood. However, remember the same core discipline principles of consistency, consequences, acceptance, open communication, and love still work to manage and guide your teen’s behavior. You are still their parent and no matter how mature they are getting, they still need you as a role model, support system, sounding board, and cheerleader.
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