Why?

It seems we are starting it a younger age than generations earlier!

Sex education isn’t necessarily something people like to talk about, but it’s certainly necessary. Without sex education (and often, even with), teens can get into trouble with pregnancy, abortion, STDs, and even AIDS, all of which can have a negative impact on their lives and future happiness. Awareness and education are important, but they’re not always the same. Sex education has changed considerably in recent years, with abstinence-only education, sex education for younger children, and more, so it’s worth taking a look at some new developments in the field. Read on, and we’ll discuss 20 new trends that are going on in sex education right now.

1. Mandating medically accurate sex education

   It seems like a no-brainer, but many states have recently enacted bills that would require medical accuracy in school sex education. We have to wonder what’s been put out that’s not accurate, but at least these states are working to get it right now. Typically, the educational programs are required to be in accordance with “accepted scientific methods and recognized as accurate and objective by professional organizations and agencies with expertise in the relevant field, such as the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the American Public Health Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.”

2. Teens aren’t learning about contraception before they have sex

   Sexual activity is common by the late teen years with 7 in 10 teens engaging in intercourse by their 19th birthday. But many students who have engaged in sex report that they didn’t learn about contraceptive use before getting started. In a Guttmacher Institute fact sheet on American teens’ sources of information about sex, 46% of males and 36% of females reported that they didn’t receive formal instructions about contraception before having sex for the first time.

3. Kids are learning about sex from outside of school

   This is obvious to most, but the majority of sex education actually takes place outside of school. Kids learn about sex from porn, TV, and pop culture these days. Stars like singer Solange Knowles lend their time and image to campaigns that promote safe sex, and even death metal bands get in on the action.

4. Sex education for younger children

   Sex education can start as young as third grade, although that education doesn’t necessarily involve explicit sex explanations. For third graders in China, sex education starts in the form of a toilet tour, in which children get the opportunity to peek into the other gender’s bathroom to better understand the differences in their bodies and behaviors. Students also view presentations about sperm fertilizing eggs.

5. Many sex ed programs are abstinence-only

   According to the CDC, about 1/3 of sex education omits the use of birth control, engaging in the controversial abstinence-only sex education that has been both lauded and criticized. However, about 2/3 of teens got instruction in birth control before graduating from high school: about 62% of boys and 70% of girls. Research suggests that comprehensive sex education that includes both abstinence and birth control began to decline from 1995 to 2002 and has not changed much since then.

6. Federal funding mandates prohibit educating students about contraception

   Since 1997, the federal government has invested more than $1.5 billion into abstinence-only programs, which require schools to avoid teaching about birth control in order to receive federal funding for sex education. These programs must adhere to a strict eight-point definition of education, with the “exclusive purpose of teaching the social, psychological, and health gains to be realized by abstaining from sexual activity.” Critics point out that the eight-point definition is not created by “evidence-based, public health and social science research,” but rather, a values agenda put in place by Congress.

7. Elementary schools are passing out condoms

   Schools passing out condoms to students is not a new idea, but some schools are taking things a step further and making them available to virtually all ages. In Provincetown, Massachusetts, one school will allow students as young as first grade to get free condoms, as long as they listen to a talk about sex education beforehand. The program is a move to decrease teen pregnancy. While the superintendent recognizes that first graders and other young elementary school children probably don’t know what condoms are and won’t ask for them, parents are worried that just by having them available, students are going to get the message that it’s acceptable to have sex at such a young age.

8. Almost all sex-ed programs teach about AIDS and STDs

   Almost all students will learn about AIDS and STDs, a move that is smart for stopping the spread of disease. About 97% of teens report receiving formal sex education by the age of 18, and about 92% of boys and girls report being taught about STDs, including preventing infection with the AIDS virus. This may cut down on the spread of AIDS and STDs now and in the future among young people who are sexually active.

9. Teen males will use more condoms if they learn about them

   Although federal funding mandates abstinence-only education, research has shown that formal sex education, regardless of whether it includes information about birth control or not, leads to greater condom use among teen males. So even though teen males may not be educated about condoms, being informed about sexuality seems to increase responsibility. According to Condom Use and Consistency Among Male Adolescents in the United States, “the critical factor for male condom use and consistency is the presence of any formal instruction.”

10. Schools are testing students on health and sex education

    Washington DC public schools annually test student progress in reading and math, and now, they are testing what students know about sexuality, contraception, and drug use as well. This is a bold move in a city with some of the country’s highest rates of sexual transmitted diseases and teen pregnancies. Officials share that the test will fill gaps in what they understand about young people’s awareness and why they behave a certain way. According to Brian Pick, deputy chief of curriculum and instruction for DC Public Schools, “it paints a fuller picture.” Adam Tenner, executive director of MetroTeenAIDS, believes the new test is positive, pointing out that “what gets measured gets done.”

1. States who denied abstinence-only funding typically have teen pregnancy rates under the national average

   There is a correlation between abstinence-only education and high teen pregnancy rates. In 2005, states who did not receive federal funding for teaching abstinence-only education typically had teen pregnancy rates that were under the national average. Abortion rates also tended to be lower in those states, indicating that students with comprehensive sex education may have more favorable outcomes.

2. Masturbation isn’t really discussed

   Although abstinence is discussed as an option in virtually every sex education program, whether birth control is mentioned or not, masturbation is hit or miss. Some teachers believe that discussing personal or mutual masturbation can be beneficial to students who want to explore sexuality without the risk of STDs and pregnancy, but others believe that teaching students about masturbation, and mutual masturbation in particular, may just be a prelude to intercourse.

3. Sex education curriculum often has distorted information

   Parents and students trust sex education programs to teach accurate information, but according to Advocates for Youth, sex education curriculum often includes distorted information. A 2004 study by the House Government Reform Committee took a look at commonly used curricula and found that they contained unproven claims, subjective conclusions, and outright falsehoods, including the “facts” that “half of gay male teenagers in the US have tested positive for HIV,” “condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse,” and “as many as 10 percent of women who have an abortion become sterile.”

4. Sex education programs with both abstinence and contraceptive education can create favorable outcomes

   Advocates for Youth points out that considerable scientific evidence supports the idea that sex education programs including both abstinence and contraception can help teens delay sexual activity, increase contraceptive use, and have fewer sexual partners when they start having sex. The group also believes that youth development programs that engage young people constructively in communities and schools are helpful. Specifically, Advocates for Youth identifies characteristics of effective curricula, including programs that last more than a few weeks, address peer pressure, and reflect the appropriate age, sexual experience, and culture of the students in the program.

5. Virginity pledges

   Some teens and young adults have begun to commit to virginity pledges, often as part of church programs. Studies have found that these pledges can delay vaginal intercourse, however, pledgers often replace it with other sexual activities including oral sex and anal sex, both of which do not reduce the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Some studies indicate that virginity pledges may reduce the likelihood of contraceptive use once pledgers engage in sex. The first virginity pledge program was created in 1993, by the name of True Love Waits, started at the Southern Baptist Convention, with now more than 2.5 million pledgers.

6. Teens are having less sex

   Although parents and concerned citizens worry that today’s teens are having more sex than ever, a CDC survey, Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing indicates that teens’ levels of sexual experience have decreased. The numbers of teens who have had sexual intercourse at least once have not changed significantly, and that number has been in overall decline over the last 20 years. As Examiner.com points out, that means today’s teens are less likely to be sexually experienced than their parents were as teens.

7. Teens don’t learn about the connection between AIDS and anal sex

   Researchers at the Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center discovered that anal sex is on the rise among teens and young adults. They say that girls are often persuaded to try anal sex to have sex without risking pregnancy or their virginity, but don’t understand the health consequences. Even students who can recite how you get AIDS may not understand how exactly it translates to their behavior, thinking that they can’t get AIDS because they’re not having vaginal sex. In fact, anal sex can be more risky for HIV infection, as tissue may tear and cause direct blood exposure to infected fluids. Lead author Celia Lescano remarks, “There is no doubt that teens lack information about STDs and the safety of different behaviors and they they are engaging in more sexual experimentation.”

8. Some states leave sex-ed curriculum up to local school districts

   In some states, sexual education curriculum is variable among different school districts, with differences in what is taught and how it’s presented. In Connecticut, for example, the state leaves it all up to local school districts, allowing them to decide what is taught about sex education. The state does, however, offer guidelines on what it believes should be taught, and all public school districts do offer at least basic health education for high school students, and state law requires school districts to teach about HIV. Bonnie Edmondson, a health education consultant at the Connecticut Department of Education shares, “It is a local control issue. The communities have a feel for what is best.”

9. Teens want more input from parents

   Although most teens are at an age when they are pushing their parents away on a regular basis, the fact is that they would like more input from their parents when it comes to sex education. In Baker County, Florida, teens don’t believe they’re getting adequate sex education from parents or teachers, and they shared that parents need to find better ways to discuss sex with their kids. Some teens pointed out that sex education is first and foremost the parents’ responsibility, and they need to find ways to make the topic less awkward to bring up. They also note that teens learn more about sex from their peers than their parents, and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

10. The elderly are getting sex education as well

    Schoolkids aren’t the only ones learning about sex these days. The elderly are finding value in sex education as well. In Malaysia, one state is providing sex education for the elderly to stop rising divorce rates. Family development foundation head Mohamad Shafaruddin Mustafa notes, “Many elderly couples sleep in separate bedrooms and are not intimate. This is unhealthy as they can still have vibrant intimate relationships, especially with all kinds of therapy and health supplements now available.” With sex education, elderly couples can better learn how to reconnect and enjoy their sexual relationship together.

Source:  Best Colleges Online

The Seminole County Health Department announced late summer that because of the nature of the social networking site, teens are “ultimately” contracting STDs. In a nutshell, the health experts blamed the fact that teen Facebook users are too willing to trust the people they meet on Facebook and begin to develop pseudo and shallow relationships (after all it is rather difficult to establish strong/legitimate bonds with a person you’ve never met or don’t interact with in person on a daily basis). This false sense of trust prompts teens to meet their new friends in person which often results in a casual sexual experience. If things don’t work out, teens are able to “get over” their partner and move on to the next, health experts say. This constant jump from casual sexual partner to the next is what results in a higher rate of STDs, according to the experts’ findings.

While the Floridian health experts do make some relevant points (not mention that the site does make it easy for teens to exchange sexually explicit private messages and post seductive and suggested photos) the site can’t be entirely blamed for increasing STDs. After all, practicing unsafe sex is what really causes STDS. Thus it’s important that parents take the initiative to educate their children and have that dreaded talk of the birds and the bees, no matter how hard it may be. It may also be a good idea to monitor your child’s Facebook activity. Some parents mandate for their children to “friend” them on Facebook so that they can keep track of their children’s postings and comments. But children are sneaky and can make sure that some information and images are blocked from their parents’ view. And then there some parents who just aren’t all that tech-savvy at all and don’t have a Facebook account.

That said, a better alternative is investing in some Facebook monitoring-software. There’s a few available on the market, but one of the newer ones that is easy to use is Zone Alarm Social Guard. It’s not terribly intrusive either, so it won’t really be like “spying”—you can’t actually read your child’s private messages or leave comments. How it works is that whenever your child uses a key word or is sent a private message or comment that uses an “alarming” word that may allude to cyber bullying, sex or suicide for example, an email is sent to you, the parent. It also warns you whenever your child “friends” a person that it much older than him or her. And it’s relatively cheap too, services are offered for only $20 a year.

By-line:

Mariana Ashley is a freelance writer who particularly enjoys writing about online colleges. She loves receiving reader feedback, which can be directed to mariana.ashley031 @gmail.com.

Parents, it is time you get in the know!

Have you ever wondered where certain expressions come from? Me too, which is why cliches and figures of speech have become a hobby of mine. Well, since it’s springtime, traditionally a time for romance, why not have a look at some expressions for getting together (wink-wink)?

Great! Here’s a list of 10 slang terms for “hooking up”, and their origins.

1. Discussing Uganda – This one is credited to the British magazine Private Eye, a satirical publication that has a tradition of coining such euphemisms. It stems from an incident at a party where a female
   

   Is your teen "hooking-up?"

   journalist used the term to explain her absence during a brief sexual rendezvous upstairs, reportedly at the time when Idi Amin and his Ugandan regime predominated the news.

2. Friends With Benefits – A relationship wherein the partners are not romantically involved, and who would characterize their relationship essentially as a friendship, which includes consensual but non-committal sex ( the “benefits” part). The earliest reference of the phrase in this context that I could find is in the 1996 Alanis Morissette song, Head Over Feet.
3. Starter Marriage – A term referring to a marital hook-up, meaning a first marriage of short duration and with no children. It’s a play on the expression “starter home” whose popularity is credited to a book by Pamela Paul, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.
4. To Know in the Biblical Sense – A euphemism for having sexual relations. Taken, as the term implies, from the Bible, as in Genesis 4:1 -”And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived…”
5. Making the Beast with Two Backs – Another sexual euphemism, this one from Shakespeare’s Othello, act 1, scene 1: Iago: I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.
6. Tying the Knot –  Marriage has long been associated with such metaphorical imagery of binding ties or knots. This phrase is said to have originated with a Roman custom where the bride wore a girdle which had knots that the groom would need to untie before consummating the union.
7. Jumping the Broom – In some cultures (Welsh  and Gypsy, for instance), it is a ceremonial tradition for the groom and  bride to literally jump over a broomstick, or a flowering branch of broom (evergreen shrub).
8. Painting the Town Red – This expression for spending an evening in revelry can be traced to Henry Beresford, the 3rd Marquess of Waterford, who quite literally painted the town of Melton Mowbray red to celebrate a successful fox hunt.
9. Booty Call – A modern-day reference to a request for casual sex; derived from the sexual term for a woman’s derriere, it means a call made to a prospective partner for the purpose of hooking up in order to have sex, or the act itself.
10. And, inevitably, we have sexual euphemisms derived from this age of the internet, including a favorite of mine which needs no explanation … Putting YouTube into MySpace.

Jill Dahne stated that she has many teenagers emailing her and calling her about having sex, or worrying that they will never find a boyfriend or girlfriend.

This amazing Love Psychic, who has predicted over a thousand marriages, as well as listed as the #1 Love Psychic in The Top 100 Psychic’s in America, knows what is important in life.  Family, friends and first and foremost love.

When asked about what was the most important message she wanted teens to know, she said:

“Teenagers today all want to fit in.  They will call me or email me and tell me their parents can’t afford the expensive clothes or sneakers that others are wearing, or they feel they are ugly and can’t afford to get the highlights that many teen girls get.  Body image is a major concern with many teen girls and you would be surprised how many boys are concerned about it too.”

Jill Dahne continues:

“I tell them over and over again, they need to learn to love themselves before they can love another person or even expect another person to love them back.  Acceptance can be hard for teens, but if they look hard enough there is always something unique they have to offer that no one else has.”

For all the teens that continue to ask the famous Matchmaker and Love Psychic “if they should have sex“, the answer is always clear:

“Although I don’t think teens should be having sex, not only because of the risk of teen pregnancy but now the risks are higher with deadly STD’s.  I am also not naive to the fact teens will have sex, so with that I always encourage them to talk to their parents, if they can, as well as learn about forms of protection.  I refer many teens to TeenTalk which is a website that helps them understand their choices and options. I always reiterate to teens that just because you have sex with a person don’t assume the person is love with you.”

Jill Dahne wanted to add one more comment to teenagers:

“Love is magical, love is rewarding, love is trusting, love is a lot of things and at a young age it can sometimes be a facade.  If you decide to have sex, be sure it is your decision and you are not being pressured into it.  Understand the consequences and in many cases your teen love doesn’t end up being your soul mate.”

Special thank you to Jill Dahne for her time and insights.  You can email Jill at jill@jilldahne.com or call her at 954-964-3541.

Read more.

What is your teen’s relationship reality?  Do they understand that a relationship is built on trust and respect?  It is more than going out on a few dates, it is more than spending hours on the phone or texting each other continuously.

The decisions your teen make about their relationships matter a lot – both in the short-term and in the long-term. So, Stay Teen has collected some facts, tips, and feedback from teens about what makes a healthy relationship and how to avoid an unhealthy one.

Tips for healthy relationships:

• Just because you think “everyone is doing it,” doesn’t mean they are. Some are, some aren’t — and some are lying.
• There are a lot of good reasons to say “no, not yet.” Protecting your feelings is one of them.
• You’re in charge of your own life – don’t let anyone pressure you into having sex.
• You can always say “no” — even if you’ve said “yes” before.
• If you’re drunk or high, you can’t make good decisions about sex. Don’t do something you might not remember or might really regret.
• Sex won’t make him or her yours and a baby won’t make them stay.

FACT: Most teens say it is not embarrassing to be a virgin. - Stay Teen

Encourage your teen to take the StayTeen.org quiz today!

In South Florida, Planned Parenthood can help you educate your teens on sex and if they are considering have it. Teen Talk is targeted at discussing sex education and protection with your teens.

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier and safer teens.

Read more.

Sadly, there are some teens that see having a baby as a tool to keeping a boyfriend or even a way to have someone love them unconditionally.  Without thinking of the consequences, teenagers are not always mature enough to see the full picture of parenthood.  It is not playing house, and it is not a baby doll; Having a baby is a full time job and a massive responsibility.  Some adults have a hard time dealing with being a parent, a teen is hardly ready for this major step in life.

Straight Talk, Teens and Sex of Jacksonville is an organization that is designed to reduce the incidence of teen pregnancy and the spread of AIDS and other sexuality transmitted infections (STI’s).

The facts about youth and sexual activity:

• Most very young teens have not had intercourse: 8 in 10 girls and 7 in 10 boys are virgins at age 15.
• While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted.
• The younger women are when they first have intercourse, the more likely they are to have had unwanted or nonvoluntary first sex—7 in 10 of those who had sex before age 13, for example.
• The majority (61%) of young women’s first voluntary sexual partners are younger, the same age or no more than 2 years older; 27% are 3–4 years older and 12% are 5 or more years older.

Reference: Straight Talk

As summer is fast approaching, teens will be attending parties, sleep-overs, and just hanging out.  Be sure they are educated on sex, relationships and contraceptives.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Related articles:

Teen Sex
Talking Teen Sex
Teen Moms
Teen Pregnancy
Sex in the City 2

Read more.

Every day, more than 2,000 teen girls in the United States get pregnant. In fact, 3 in 10 girls will become pregnant by age 20. Not having sex is the only sure way to avoid pregnancy, though there are a lot of other good reasons to wait, too. But if you’re having sex, you must use birth control carefully and correctly every single time you do.- Stay Teen

Teens and sex is a growing subject that has more resources and information than ever before.  Educating parents, teachers and teenagers is a commitment everyone needs to have.  Stay Teen is one of several valuable websites that offers a vast amount of information about having sex and/or considering having sex.

One common question is, “why’d you do it?“  Here are some of answers from Stay Teen:

• I’m curious – I want to experiment/ get experience.
• I just want to get this first time out of the way.
• Sex is no big deal. Everyone is doing it.
• Every one of my friends has had sex – I’m the only hold out. I feel like a wierdo.
• The popular kids in my school are the ones who have sex – I want to fit in with them.
• My partner really wants me to do it – he/ she says that it’ll bring us closer together/ prove my love/ show my commitment.
• There’s nothing to do in this town but have sex.
• I won’t really know how compatible we are until we’ve had sex.
• My parents are so controlling and strict – they’d freak out if they knew I was having sex.
• We’ve already had sex once – I can’t very well say no now.
• It’s just a “friends-with-benefits” thing – what’s the big deal?

Think you might not be ready yet? Check out the Waiting page for more.  Visit www.stayteen.org for more educational information.

In South Florida, Planned Parenthood can help you educate your teens on sex and if they are considering have it.  Teen Talk is targeted at discussing sex education and protection with your teens.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Read more.

Whether you believe your teen is having sex or not, the conversation is important.  Your teen will rely on his/her peers to help educate them if you don’t. 

MTV’s – “It’s Your Sex Life” helps teach your teens about safe sex, protection, if you are ready for this big step, as well as the risks of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD).  In Broward County, there are places your teens can get tested for STD’s.  If you are not in Florida, find your local center, click here.

If you are a teenager, don’t wait for your partner or your health care provider to start the conversation, take charge. After all, this Is YOUR (Sex) Life. By talking about sex (that includes what you feel ready, or not, to do) you are showing that you care about yourself and your partner, and that your are in control.

It’s YOUR (Sex) Life and that means you decide when you are ready-and when to wait to have sex. But you have to communicate how you are feeling to your partner. Otherwise how can they know what you are thinking? Check out these tips to help you talk with your partner about waiting to have sex.

Protect yourself! Everyone knows about protection, but how many think that it can’t happen to them?  They are immune to STD’s, they can’t get pregnant that one time, etc.  Stop, think twice – it can happen and will happen if you don’t take steps to protect yourself.

Yes, it is your teens’ sex life, but it is still your child.  Open the door of communication, talk to your teens.  Read websites such as It’s Your Sex Life for resources and information to help educate yourself and today’s teens. 

It’s Your (Sex) Life, an ongoing partnership of MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation to help young people make responsible decisions about their sexual health, is working with Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and other partners nationwide to bring you the GYT: Get Yourself Tested campaign and Get Yourself Talking.

In South Florida Planned Parenthood goal is to ensure that every individual has the information, services, and freedom to make healthy, responsible decisions about sex, sexuality, and parenthood.  They also are part of GTY: Get Yourself Tested and Get Yourself Talking - print your coupon here.

Being an educated parent can help you to have safer and healthier teens.

Watch video and read more.

O-kay, let’s face it, teens are very well versed in sex education – far more than generations prior.  However the bragging rights seem to continue.  According to the CDC, an estimated 48% had sexual intercourse before graduating from high school.  Nearly two-thirds of teens that have had sexual intercourse say they regret it and wish they had waited, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.  Connect with Kids just posted an interesting article about boy and their boasting about their sexual encounters. 

Boys Brag about Sex

Source: Connect with Kids

“Some guys are really stupid and all they want is to have sex and, yeah, they brag about everywhere.”

– Stephanie, 16 years old

Teenage boys like to talk about it and, sometimes, they exaggerate.

“All they talk about is sex,” 17 year old Tyler says. “You go walking down the hallway…sex, sex, sex. ‘Hey I had sex with her, I had sex with him.’”

In a new Seventeen magazine survey of boys and young men, almost half said they were virgins and one in four said he had lied to other kids about not being a virgin. According to the survey of 1,200 boys and young men, age 15 to 22, 60 percent said they lied about something sexual, 30 percent lied about “how far they had gone,” and 78 percent said that there was too much pressure from society to have sex.

17 year old Brad confirms that “guys brag all the time. I mean I’ve met one guy who hasn’t bragged about it. ”

Still there are some boys, like 17 year old Jesse, who are willing to say ‘no’ even when pressured by a girl.

“I was just astonished and I was like, ‘no’ because I like know this girl, she was my friend, but she wasn’t someone I wanted to do that stuff with. She wasn’t the right person for me to lose my virginity with.”

Daniel Jean-Baptiste, a health educator, says he has seen a change in the attitude of young men. “The attitude is starting to become, ‘I don’t really care if my buddies are talking about it and this person is bragging about it. It’s not really a big deal, because you can get STDs. Or you can get someone pregnant.”

Many experts argue that in our culture, boys are pressured to have sex, or at least say they have, but that it’s up to parents to talk about the seriousness of sex… and the risks.

“A young person is never too young to talk about HIV, to talk about STDs, to talk about puberty,” Jean-Baptiste says. “And I think that if parents start to talk to their young people before they reach puberty… you’ve really seasoned them, so that in the future years… you’ll be more comfortable and they’ll be more comfortable talking to you.”

They will be more comfortable, as he says, and there is a good chance they will listen.

“Kids, they might not say they listen to their parents but deep down inside, there’s always… their parents are their little voice… anything a parent says usually does get taken to heart,” says 18 year old Jesse.

Related Information

It’s not uncommon to see statistics showing that girls face a great deal of pressure to have sex at an early age. But a new survey from the Kaiser Family Foundation shows that girls are not alone. Researchers found that one in three teen boys reported feeling peer pressure to have sex – often from male friends. In fact, the survey findings showed that boys were more likely than girls to feel pressure and more likely to believe that waiting to have sex is a myth.

How prevalent is sexual behavior among teens? The most recent numbers come from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey of high school students from 34 states:

• An estimated 48% had sexual intercourse before graduating from high school.
• Approximately 15% had sexual intercourse with four or more partners before graduating from high school.
• Nearly 62% of currently sexually active students used a condom during last sexual intercourse.
• Approximately 90% of the students said they had been taught about AIDS and HIV infection in school.

Tips for Parents

Nearly two-thirds of teens that have had sexual intercourse say they regret it and wish they had waited, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. The campaign also found that when it comes to making a decision about sex, 30% said that friends influenced their decision the most.

As a parent, how can you help your child make an informed decision about sex? It is first important to openly discuss sexual health with your child. Although it may be tough and awkward at times, open communication and accurate information that comes from you – the parent – increases the chance that your teen will postpone sex or use appropriate methods of birth control once he or she begins. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers the following advice when talking to your child about sex:

• Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.
• Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.
• Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
• Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.
• Keep your sense of humor, and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
• Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.
• Be open in sharing your values and concerns.
• Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.
• Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.

Your teen may be feeling pressure to have sex from a number of places – friends, peers or partners. As a parent, it is important that you give your child the necessary tools to make a decision about sex before peer pressure makes the decision for him or her. The American Social Health Association (ASHA) offers the following advice about sex and peer pressure to share with your teen:

• Not every person your age is having sex. Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is “doing it,” it is important to realize that this is not true. People often talk about sex in a casual manner, but this doesn’t mean they are actually having sex.
• Hollywood doesn’t show the full story. Sexual situations are everywhere in our culture. They are on television, in movies and even in commercials and magazines. This is part of the reason why we enjoy these things so much. Just remember: Characters in these movies, television shows and advertisements are actors and actresses. They can’t get unwanted pregnancies and STDs. You can.
• There are lots of great reasons why people wait to have sex. You may be making plans to go to college or to start a job after you finish high school. Would a baby in your life make it easier or tougher for you to do the things you’ve dreamed about? Wanting to avoid STDs is another reason that some people are very cautious about becoming sexually active.

You can continue to help your teen avoid peer pressure to have sex by teaching him or her the following strategies from the ASHA:

• Hang out with friends who also believe that it’s okay to not be ready for sex yet.
• Date several people and hang out with different groups of people.
• Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
• Introduce your friends to your parents.
• Invite your friends to your home.
• Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
• Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
• Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
• Be ready to call your mother, father or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a date.
• Never feel obligated to “pay someone back” with sex in return for an expensive date or gift.
• Say “no” and mean “no” if that’s how you feel.

References

• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
• American Social Health Association
• Kaiser Family Foundation
• National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
• Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (CDC)

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Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens!

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