Sue Scheff: Don’t Let Your Luck Run Out on St. Patrick’s Day
by Sue Scheff on Mar 13, 2010
Drive SOBER.
“I’m fine to drive.”
Expect to hear this line a lot on March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. Known as much for drinking as it is for shamrocks and the color green, this holiday is a fun time to be out with friends, but can be a dangerous time to be out on the road. Too many people are under the misconception that you need to be “falling down drunk” to be too impaired to drive safely. They couldn’t be more wrong.
Nearly 12,000 people were killed in crashes involving an alcohol-impaired driver in 2008. That’s about one person every 45 minutes. You can’t help but wonder if those lives might have been saved if only people had thought twice before getting behind the wheel.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and the Ad Council are continuing to work together on the “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving” PSA campaign. Buzzed drivers drink and drive, but do not consider themselves a hazard on the roadway because they have had “only a few drinks.” BuzzedDriving hopes to educate people on the reality that consuming even a few drinks can impair driving and that “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving.”
With St. Patrick’s Day approaching, it’s important that drivers be reminded about the dangers of buzzed driving. We need your help.
Get the word out that before going out after work to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, you should be sure to line up alternative transportation: have the number for a taxi, know the area public transportation system or designate a sober driver.
Follow BuzzedDriving on Twitter (@buzzeddriving) and Facebook to get the latest updates and news from NHTSA. You can also visit their campaign Web site to sign a pledge not to drive buzzed, play an interactive game demonstrating how drinking can impair driving and hear a personal story from someone who has been affected by buzzed driving.
Enjoy St. Patrick’s Day and remember safety always comes first!
Watch the PSA video and read more on Examiner.
Tags: Buzzed Driving, Driving Drunk, Drunk Driving, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Health, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Teens Coming Out – Gay Bashing
by Sue Scheff on Mar 12, 2010
Homosexuality is a topic that can make some people uncomfortable, however it doesn’t condone bullying, teasing and creating fear in those that are openly gay – especially teens. Words can hurt, and the emotional scars can be long lasting.
Teens that are openly gay risk being teased, bullied and treated as an outcast. Sexual orientation in adolescents has previously been linked to increased rate of victimization. A study in the journal Pediatrics showed that those students who identified themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual had a disproportionate risk for problem behaviors, including suicide and victimization.
Gay and Lesbian Community Center of South Florida (GLCCSF) believes everyone has a right to be themselves, to be different, to enjoy self respect and love. The GLCCSF proudly supports all members of the LBGT community.
The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) cautions parents that “gay and lesbian teens can become depressed, socially isolated, withdrawn from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression.” It is important for parents of gay and lesbian teens to understand their teens sexual orientation and provide support. The AACAP encourages parents and family members to seek understanding and support from organizations such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).
The American Psychological Association provides these tips for teens who fear they may be a target of violence:
- Above all, be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show warning signs of violence, such as those with a history of frequent physical fights, and those who have announced threats or plans for hurting others.
- Tell someone you trust and respect about your concerns and ask for help ( a family member, guidance counselor, teacher, school physiologist, coach, clergy, or friend)
- Get someone to protect you. Do not resort to violence or use a weapon to protect yourself.
Source: Connect with Kids
The Today Show featured a segment on “Teens Coming Out” on the difficulties both parents and teens can face. Watch the video and read more on Examiner.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Tags: Bullying, Gay Bashing, Gay Teens, Homosexuality, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Underage Drinking and Teens – FAMILY TALK
by Sue Scheff on Mar 07, 2010
Each year at this time, teens begin planning for some of the most memorable moments of their lives, including celebrating proms and graduations with friends and family. To help keep these celebrations safe for everyone, it¹s important to remind adults to encourage teens to celebrate safely and without alcohol.
According to the 2009 GfK Roper Youth Report, 68 percent of youth, ages 8 to 17, cite their parents as the number one influence on their decisions about whether they drink alcohol or not. In addition, government research shows that teens who report drinking usually get their alcohol from adults.
To help prevent underage drinking, the Family Talk program encourages open, honest communication between parents and children. Developed by an advisory panel of education, family counseling, child psychology and alcohol treatment professionals, Family Talk materials are distributed free to parents and educators by Anheuser-Busch and its national network of distributors.
These materials may be downloaded at www.familytalkonline.com in English and Spanish.
Progress is being made in the fight against underage drinking, by raising awareness and through sound educational programs and strong partnerships. In fact, 85 percent of adolescents, ages 12 to 17, are doing the right thing by not drinking, according to the 2008 National Survey on Drug Use and Health. In addition, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that teen drunk-driving fatalities have declined 34 percent since 2000.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Binge drinking, Family Talk, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Drinking, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Underage Drinking
Sue Scheff: The Consequences of Sexting
by Sue Scheff on Feb 27, 2010
Sexting is a word that years ago we would have not heard about. Today teens and tweens are not only familiar with this word, many have suffered the consequences from it.
A Thin Line debuted on MTV this month that educates and informs parents, teachers, kids and everyone about the dangers of the digital world.
What is Sexting?
Sending or forwarding nude, sexually suggestive, or explicit pics on your cell or online. For some people, it’s no big deal. But real problems can emerge when the parties involved are under 18, when people get pressured into sexting, and when sexts go viral. – A Thin Line
What are the consequences of sending or receiving one? There are many, however the most common are the feelings of humiliation, embarrassment and much worse. The person that is in the photo can potentially suffer from extreme depression and even feelings of suicide.
For the person sending them to go viral, there could be potential criminal charges. You could get arrested. Taking, sending, and possessing naked images of a minor is a federal crime. Sex offenders’ registry? Not the honor roll you were hoping for.
Parents need to take the time to sit down and talk to their kids about sexting and how it can potentially ruin lives for a long time. Review their phones or computers if you suspect that your child is participating in this activity. Remember, there comes a time when safety trumps privacy and this could be one of those times.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
Watch A Thin Line on Sexting in America. Watch the four-part series with your children.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexting, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues, Texting
Sue Scheff: Chatroulette – A New Concern for Parents
by Sue Scheff on Feb 24, 2010
A 17 year-old boy in Moscow created a new chatroom website: Chatroulette.
“I created this project for fun,” Andrey Ternovskiy wrote in an e-mail to the paper. “Everyone finds his own way of using the site. Some think it is a game, others think it is a whole unknown world, others think it is a dating service.” - New York Times
What does this mean for parents? Another website to monitor and talk to your kids about. If you haven’t heard of Chatroulette, you may think that talking about it will only create curiosity with your kids. It may, however knowing about it can help you to be educated about it and talk to your teens intelligently about Chatroulette.
Chatroulette gives a person an opportunity to communicate, converse with people they would otherwise never know. It is talking to strangers. Anonymity encourages all types of people with a variety of colorful stories (whether true or not). This site is not blocked for minors, so it is up to the parents to be sure they have their parental controls and filters in place.
However remember, no matter how many fire walls you install, blocks to websites, etc…. unless your child understands the dangers, they will always find a way to get to where they want to surf. It is as easy as going to a friend’s computer, your local library or even an Internet café with their allowance.
Education is key. As a parent you should learn about this latest trend and talk to your kids about it.
While Promise of New Web Site Is to Connect Strangers, the Practice Can Be Something Creepier - Good Morning America
Watcher video and read more on Examiner.
Tags: Chatrooms, Chatroulette, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Safety, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Chat rooms, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Think before you click send – Have you ever recevied a “Nasty-Gram?”
by Sue Scheff on Feb 20, 2010
It is more likely than not that you have typed an email filled with anger and hit send before thinking about the consequences. It is even likely you have received an email that hurt your feelings and was simply ugly.
Emails fly through the day and through the night. Once you hit send, it could be the end of a friendship, job, relationship, or even marriage. Have you reviewed your email and thought about who will be seeing it? Who will be reading it? Or if it ends up as an exhibit in a court of law, will it come back to haunt you?
We can learn to maintain our stress level through breathing exercises or even counting to a hundred. It would benefit you if you are angry, upset, or have to deliver not so good news, to think twice before hitting send. Put that email in your drafts, think on it for twenty-four hours.
Like with bullying, these emails can have lasting emotional affects on the person receiving it. Is that your intent? If so, you truly need to step back from the keypad or mouse and re-evaluate this situation.
Teens and kids don’t always think before they hit send. Take the time to teach your children about the liabilities of sending “nasty-grams“. What you post or send today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow.
Think twice before you launch that email!
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
by Sue Scheff on Feb 19, 2010
This month is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Since 2006 Congress has officially recognized the first week in February as “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week,” and this year, for the first time, Congress has designated the entire month as a time to raise awareness of this important issue!
You can do your part to raise awareness of teen dating violence and abuse this month by encouraging people to join the MADE (Moms And Dads for Education To Stop Teen Dating Abuse) movement! ANYONE can join the MADE coalition by visiting: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/made/petition.html
Parents need to open the lines of communication with their teens. Love is Not Abuse is an organization that provides information and tools that men, women, children, teens and corporate executives can use to learn more about the issue and find out how they can help end this epidemic of domestic violence.
Love is Not Abuse also offers a Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence. This can help you to start the conversation. Also visit Love is Respect for more valuable information.
During this month of February when love is in the air, take the time to show your love to your kids and sit down and talk about this serious subject. If you are a teacher, please take a few minutes to discuss this topic. You never know who is listening and what you may be preventing.
Happy Valentine’s Day and remember, it is not about “being mine” as it is about “being kind.”
Pass it on. Watch video here and read more on Examiner.
Tags: Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexual Abuse, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating, Teen Dating Abuse, teen dating violence, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Sexual Assault Awareness Week – Be An Educated Parent
by Sue Scheff on Feb 18, 2010
Sexual Assault Awareness Week: February 22-25, 2010
Sponsored by Georgia Southern University’s Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) and the Sexual Assault Prevention Advocates (SAPA)
Sadly this is a subject that all parents need to be aware of and their teens need to be educated on. Teen sexual abuse is not prejudice. Whether you believe in a very safe area, or go to an excellent school or college, learning about sexual assault and abuse is a difficult topic but necessary to learn about.
Joni Poole, currently 18 years old, is a survivor of a sexual assault and rape. She is a hero and a voice for those that are suffering silently. She testified against her rapist and put him away. Joni Poole created Sexual Abuse, Assault and Rape Awareness (S.A.A.R.A.) organization following her horrific experiences. She was also featured in my Teens That Inspire series.
Joni Poole has been invited to be the guest speaker for Sexual Assault Prevention Advocates on Thursday 7:30 pm, February 25th, 2009 at Russell Union Rotunda at Georgia Southern University. Learn more.
Some stunning statistics from S.A.A.R.A.:
General Information about Sexual Crime Victims
-1 out of 3 girls are victims or will become victims of a sexual crime before the age of 18.
-1 out of 5 boys are victims or will become victims of a sexual crime before the age of 18.
-80% of young adults who were abused as children, met the diagnostic criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder by age 21
-34% of Sexual Crimes involve a family member or caregiver.
-1.3 forcible rape of adult women every minute. (In America)
-78 women are rape every hour. (In America)
-1,871 women are raped every day. (In America)
Sexual Crime and The Legal System
-72% of Sexual Crimes go unreported.
-If the crime is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
-If there is an arrest, there is an 80% chance of a prosecution.
-If a case makes it to prosecution, there is only a 58% chance of a felony conviction.
-If there is a felony conviction, there is only a 69% chance that the offender will spend time in jail.
-1 out of 20 offenders spend time in jail
-19 out of 20 offenders will walk free
-68% of Rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.
Not convince yet you need to learn more?
Sexually Abused Children and Crime Rate
-Abused children are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile
-Abused children are 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult
-Abused children are 30% more likely to commit a violent crime
-Over 14% of males in U.S. prisons were abused as children
-Over 36% of females in U.S. prisons were abused as children
See more shocking statistics here.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
WATCH VIDEO and read more on Examiner.
Tags: Joni Poole, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Teen Dating Abuse, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Do Mean Girls Grow Up to Be Mean Women?
by Sue Scheff on Feb 03, 2010
Part 2 with guest Jane Balvanz, educator and Female Friend Expert.
If you missed part 1, go back.
Do Mean Girls Grow Up to Be Mean Women?
I want to answer that question with a resounding, “No,” but I can’t. I can’t answer it affirmatively, either. We humans all try on the roles of Bully, Bystander, and Target like costumes at some point in our lives. We decide what serves us best. No one wants to think herself or himself a bully; some of us are, though. A plethora of literature exists telling us how to deal with adult bullies: bully bosses, difficult people, and abusive partners.
Children Live What They Learn (and They Know More Than We Think)
Adults play a huge role in children’s lives, and parents are their most important teachers. Children absorb the parts of us we’re proud of as well as the parts we wish not to reveal. If any girls were watching this Twitter war (and I bet some were), they would have witnessed prime examples of grownups bullying.
When we teach our girls to display a certain level of human respect and kindness but don’t practice what we preach, they become confused. What if our kids don’t actually see us acting incongruous to what we expect from them? They intuit it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in over twenty-five years of working with kids, it’s that they see and hear more than we think. If we live hypocritically, they eventually figure it out.
What Example Do You Want to Set?
As parents or individuals who work with girls, we have to live what we want them to learn. We need to be authentic and demonstrate respect for others. If we want to help our girls avoid earning the label of “mean girl,” we need to lead by example. Here are five basic tips for parents and other adults who influence children to keep in mind online or in real life (IRL).
- Avoid character assassinations. Speak or write of behaviors you find objectionable rather than people you don’t like.
- Watch what you write online. It may be your blog or your tweets, but making disparaging remarks about others is bullying. Sometimes little girls petulantly say, “It’s my house, and I can do what I want.” We know that tends to be a precursor to upcoming bullying behavior. Some bloggers write, “It’s my blog, and I can say what I want.” They’re right. They can say what they like. Anyone can say what they want when they want, and bullying is still bullying.
- Think before you speak or write. If you can’t say something positive about others, keep quiet and think about it. Think for a long, long time. Keep thinking.
- Think of your words as toothpaste. Once you squeeze toothpaste out of the tube, it’s out. There’s no getting it back in. The same can be said about words – once out they can’t be unsaid. Once they’re online, they’re permanent.
- Apologize when you mess up. We’ve all said or written things we regret. Girls need to see adults own up to their mistakes. It helps them realize we all make mistakes and are accountable for them online and off. Do what you can to mend the situation.
- Imagine your legacy. Test your words to see if they represent how you want to be defined. If your words would land you in the principal’s office as a kid, posting them online will probably earn you the reputation of Bully or Trash Talker rather the Speaker of Truth or Defender of the First Amendment. How do you want to be remembered?
Thanks to Jane for permission to share this valuable article and information. Learn more about Female Friendships at www.awaythrough.com.
Did you miss part 1? Go back. <<<<
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens!
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Tags: Bullying, Mean Girls, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teasing, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Teach Teen Anger Management
by Sue Scheff on Jan 29, 2010
“I don’t care what you say I am doing what I want to do! I hate you and you just don’t want me to have fun!”
“All my friends are allowed to stay out late; you are mean and want to ruin my life!”
“You have no idea how I feel and you are only making it worse!”
When a difficult teen is out of control, they only can hear themselves and what they want. It is usually their way or no way! There are so many factors that can contribute to these feelings. The feelings are very real and should be addressed as soon as you see that your child is starting to run the household. Teen anger may lead to teen rage and teen violence which can soon destroy a family.
A local therapist can help your family diagnosis what is causing the negative behavior patterns. Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) is some of the many causes to this harmful and stressful behavior. Many times you will find a need for a positive and safe program either local or outside your home are that can help determine where these hurtful outbursts are stemming from.
As difficult as this may seem, it is important that as your teen is expressing these feeling of anger and rage, that you as the parent learn to control your emotions. You don’t want to fuel it or feed it which can potentially enrage it.
Here are some tips for parents to learn to help manage their stress level as their teens is spiraling out of control:
- Take a ‘timeout.‘ Although it may seem cliché, counting to 10 before reacting really can defuse your temper.
- Get some space. Take a break from the person you’re angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.
- Once you’re calm, express your anger. It’s healthy to express your frustration in a nonconfrontational way. Stewing about it can make the situation worse.
- Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
- Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you’re likely to say something you’ll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you’re angry, it’s easy to get sidetracked.
- Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
- Use ‘I’ statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or placing blame, which can make the other person angry or resentful – and increase tension. For instance, say, “I’m upset you didn’t help with the housework this evening,” instead of, “You should have helped with the housework.”
- Don’t hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
- Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don’t use sarcasm, though – it’s can hurt feelings and make things worse.
- Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “Take it easy.” Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.
These tips from the Mayo Clinic can also be helpful to your teens. It could benefit you to sit down with your teens and talk about controlling rage and anger before it escalates to the boiling over point.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Anger Management, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Anger, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Rage, Teen Stress
