Sue Scheff: Teen Girls Pressure to Be Thin – Someday Melissa (Powerful New Upcoming Documentary)
by Sue Scheff on Apr 26, 2010
12/21/89 – 5/9/09 – Dates a parent never wants to have to engrave in their lives. However Judy Arvin, who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Melissa, on December 21st, 1989, also lost her on May 9, 2009 to bulimia, has taken a extremely sad and sensitive subject and exposed her raw pain through an upcoming documentary.
This documentary is paving the way to bring awareness to eating disorders and teens. Someday Melissa is about a mother’s story of losing her daughter to an eating disorder. This disease is a silent killer that some parents are blinded to. Body image is a major concern for teens.
Melissa Arvin was only 19 years-old when she lost her life to bulimia. Her mother, Judy Arvin, made a painful yet courageous decision to make a documentary of Melissa’s life. Having to relive the life of a beautiful young girl through their death is an unselfish act. Judy Arvin is hoping that her story – Melissa’s story, will help others with this silent killer. Melissa struggled for five years with this ugly disease.
In August 2008 Melissa made a journal entry, “I want to make a movie that will change lives.” Judy Arvin is pulling all her strength through her grieving process to make this happen.
Bulimia is an eating disorder that related is to self-image - and not just about food – bulimia nervosa can be difficult to overcome.
Bulimia symptoms may include:
- Feeling that you can’t control your eating behavior
- Eating until the point of discomfort or pain
- Eating much more food in a binge episode than in a normal meal or Snack
- Forcing yourself to vomit after eating
- Exercising excessively
- Misuse of laxatives, diuretics or enemas
- Being preoccupied with your body shape and weight
- Having a distorted, excessively negative body image
- Going to the bathroom after eating or during meals
- Abnormal bowel functioning
- Damaged teeth and gums
- Swollen salivary glands in the cheeks
- Sores in the throat and mouth
- Dehydration
- Irregular heartbeat
- Sores, scars or calluses on the knuckles or hands
- Menstrual irregularities or loss of menstruation (amenorrhea)
- Depression
- Anxiety
Education is key to prevention, however communication is critical. Knowing your teens feelings, their actions, their pain and what makes them happy may seem like an easy task, however teens are very good at masking issues for their parents. It is a parent’s job to be persistent yet loving. Determined yet gentle. Being an educated parent can help you help your teenager. Talk to your teens! You may be saving a life. Make the time today.
Sources: Mayo Clinic, NY Times, Someday Melissa, National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
Watch video from Today Show with Judy Arvin. Read More.
Tags: Body Image, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Body Image, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Health, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: Teen Girls and the Pressure to be Thin
by Sue Scheff on Sep 19, 2009
It seems girls especially are starting earlier in your childhood years to worry about being thin. The peer pressure as well as wanting to be like their celebrity idols can lead to girls with a false sense of reality. Is your teen struggling with their self esteem? Don’t like the way they look? Be an educated parent, take the time to read these parenting tips and information.
Source: Connect with Kids
Pressures to be Thin
“My friend thinks that people who are thin are smart and popular.”
– Hannah, 8 years old
What makes a 10-year-old girl happy? Dolls? Brightly colored dresses? A new puppy? According to a study of over 400,000 Canadian children, the answer is being thin.
“My friend thinks that people that are thin are smart and popular,” says Hannah, 8.
Sinay, 9, says the same thing, “I have a friend and she thinks that people that are thinner are smarter and prettier.”
Researchers surveying young girls find that girls are happiest when they’re thin. And, even as young as ten, over seven percent of the girls are unhappy with their body.
“I am seeing more and more mothers calling me with very young girls, pediatric age, who are struggling with fears of gaining weight (or) wanting to lose weight,” says Page Love, an Atlanta nutritionist and eating disorder counselor.
Experts say young girls are taking cues from a weight-conscious society—movies, television, and magazines—and from home.
“Often it may be hearing their mom talk about dieting, growing up in a house where all they’ve ever known is fat-free condiments and diet meals,” says Love. “And hearing mom talk about not being happy about (her) own weight.”
Love says parents should censor negative messages about weight and body size, in the media, and in their own conversations. “Because the kids will start to pick up on it and this sets the stage for how they will start to judge and evaluate different body sizes including their own.”
And if parents are careful, children can learn another message about their bodies.
“I think it’s beautiful and I take care of it a lot,” says Hannah.
“I am perfect the way I am,” says a self-confident Sinay.
Tips for Parents
Research has shown that as girls move from grade school age into their teen years they are more at risk than boys for suffering a drop in self-esteem. In fact, research shows for some girls, this loss of self- esteem is already present by the age of 5.
Researchers from Pennsylvania State University examined the relationship between weight status and self-concept in a group of girls five years of age. The researchers found:
- Girls with higher weight status (weight above average) reported more negative feelings about their bodies than girls with lower weight status.
- Girls with higher weight status had lower perceived cognitive ability than did girls with lower weight status.
- All girls, independent of their weight status, reported more negative feelings about their bodies and/or cognitive abilities if their parents were overly concerned about body weight.
According to The Center for Effective Parenting, self-esteem can be defined as how people feel about themselves. The recent research reinforces the idea that children begin forming beliefs about themselves early in life. These beliefs evolve from an interaction between their biological, inborn traits such as temperament, intelligence and physical characteristics, and environmental influences such as parenting style of their parents and children’s relationships with other adults and peers. When children are criticized or ignored they can develop negative feelings about themselves. If not corrected, these negative feelings can follow children throughout life, coloring their level of achievement in academics and relationships.
The Center for Effective Parenting provides many ideas on what parents can do to help their children develop healthy levels of self-esteem. These include:
- Praise your children. Praise must be specific and sincere to have a positive effect. Focus on the positive things your children do.
- Show your children lots of love and affection with words and physical actions.
- Treat your children with respect. You should treat your children with the same amount of respect that you would show to a friend.
- Be consistent. Children need things to be predictable in their lives. Set the rules and consistently enforce them.
- Don’t demand perfection from your children. Children need to know that their parents accept them for who they are—flaws and all. Instead of criticizing children when they make a mistake, parents should try to turn these mistakes into learning experiences. Ease up on pressure and offer praise and encouragement.
- Pay attention to you own behavior and attitudes. How parents feel about themselves and the world around them is reflected in their behavior. Children model their behavior and attitudes after their parents. Parents can’t expect their children to develop a healthy attitude about themselves unless they first see this healthy attitude in their parents.
- Listen to and respond to your children. Make sure you give your children your complete attention. Try to answer children’s questions as honestly and completely as possible.
- Don’t let your children criticize themselves. When you catch your child being self-critical, you need to correct him, otherwise your child may believe that you agree with his negative comments.
- Teach your child to use positive self-talk. The more children repeat good things about themselves to themselves, the more likely they will be to actually believe them and incorporate the positive feelings that go along with them.
Keep in mind that all children will experience fluctuations in their self-esteem. Parents need to watch out for patterns of behavior that don’t seem to disappear with time. If you have concerns, consult your health care provider or mental health professional.
References
- American Academy of Pediatrics
- Pediatrics
- The Center for Effective Parenting
Tags: Connect with Kids, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Peer Pressure, Teen Self Esteem
Sue Scheff: My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder and I Don’t Get it
by Sue Scheff on Jul 23, 2009
Lori Hanson is an Award winning author, speaker and mentor. After reading her first book, It All Started with Pop-Tarts, I was impressed with her ability to share her own journey with Bulimia as well as her private life. Most recently she released her book for teens, Teen Secrets to Surviving & THRIVING, again, another fantastic book. Lori is dedicated to others in helping them better understand eating disorders as well as motivating people in a positive direction. Learn more at Learn2Balance.
My Daughter Has an Eating Disorder and I Don’t Get It
By Lori Hanson
The bombshell drops. Your precious little girl or boy has an eating disorder. For some parents they suspect and have to figure out how to confront their child. For others, they are blissfully unaware until their child confides in them. 85% of eating disorders start between the ages of 13-20.
Finding out your child has an eating disorder stirs up numerous emotions for a parent. The first reaction seems to start with questions of how could this happen? I was a good parent! Then guilt sets in and for many parents, mom’s in particular they quickly jump on the thought train of what am I going to do to fix it? How can I make it go away quickly and make my child normal again. The embarrassment is there along with the guilt. For some there is a feeling of betrayal because their child, teen or young adult didn’t tell them about he eating disorder, or didn’t tell them sooner.
But what parents and loved ones don’t understand is why it is so difficult for the child or young adult to tell them. First, it’s incredibly difficult for the individual suffering with an eating disorder to admit to themselves that they have a problem. It’s a behavioral addiction which means it’s a “psychological” thing. Which means there is something mentally wrong. And most individuals aren’t anxious to join that club. Second, the embarrassment, guilt and shame of the eating disorder behavior makes it incredibly difficult to share with family or loved ones. It’s not about betrayal. Third, one of the core characteristics of eating disorders is isolation (in addition to obsession with food, body and more.)
So when the news comes out via an intervention or when the individual suffering approaches loved ones for help just remember, both the individual with the eating disorder and their loved ones are hurt, confused, feeling guilt, embarrassment and shame. Underneath all the embarrassment, the parents core sentiments is usually, “How can I help them recover? What’s the best way to support them?” And depending on where the individual with the eating disorder is on their path, their core sentiment may be denial or wanting to get help.
For the individual suffering the obsessiveness of the behavior is draining, scary and totally controls them. As much as they may want to stop, the fear of losing the control they gain through the disorder is often paralyzing. At the root is low self-esteem, but that is only one of the factors that contributes to an eating disorder.
For most who suffer, they lack the courage to communicate freely, to set appropriate boundaries, and to express their emotions, positive or negative. The eating disorder behavior helps them numb out and disengage from life and other people. It provides a quiet solitude which evolves into a living hell of isolation and obsession. Digging out on their own to improve self-esteem and gain much needed self-confidence isn’t something most can do on their own.
A holistic approach to treating eating disorders teaches the individual healthy communication skills, helps them improve self-esteem and understand the causes of their addictive behavior. It is critical to understand and address the body and brain chemistry through diet, nutrition and nutritional supplements which helps move the individual beyond “willpower” and gives much needed nutritional support and objectivity. Reprogramming negative thoughts and beliefs is key to recovery and lastly improving mental and physical health with body work rounds out the circle of a solid holistic approach.
So parents, before you get consumed in anger, hurt, embarrassment and try to figure out to make the problem go away quickly realize that as a behavioral addiction it runs deeps and won’t go away with simple comments of “honey, why don’t you just eat.” Unfortunately, this is something the individual suffering has to change, as parents and loved ones you can’t fix it for them. Find a pactitioner your child relates to and a treatment facility that is family oriented and a parent advocate. Healing an individual from an eating disorder can and should have a positive effect on the entire family!
In peace, balance and health,
Lori Hanson
Award-winning author, It Started With Pop-Tarts…An Alternative Approach to Winning the Battle of Bulimia
Speaker and Life Balance Consultant
www.Learn2Balance.com
Tags: Aneroxia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Body Image, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Teen Eating Disorders
by Sue Scheff on Jul 20, 2009
Johanna Curtis is dedicated to helping teens improve their self image through their body image and skin care. She recently submitted this informational article on teens and eating disorders. Be an educated parent! Take the time to learn more.
By Johanna Curtis
Is your teen losing weight, suffering from severe acne, hiding food, or fasting? Could it be Anorexia or Bulimia? Causes, symptoms and treament discussed.
Teen Eating Disorders – Recognizing Bulimia and Anorexia
Does Your Teenage Boy or Girl Show Weight Loss, Increased Body Hair, Acne?
How to Spot the Signs of an Eating Disorder
Is your teen losing weight, suffering skin problems like severe acne, hiding food, binging, vomiting or fasting? He or she might have an eating disorder.
Anorexia nervosa and Bulimia are serious eating disorders that have severe health impacts, sometimes even causing death in teens as young as eleven or twelve.
Weight loss, over-excercising, acne, counting calories, depression and disorted body image, binging or uncontrolled eating, vomiting, and hiding food. These are just some of the symptoms. There are many others.
Symptoms of Anorexia:
Weight loss-15% below the ideal weight for her age and height.
Being obsessive about counting calories and eating fat-free foods.
A fear of gaining weight.
Being cagey about eating habits.
Obsessive and compulsive or excessive exercising.
Abusing laxatives or diuretics.
Mood and emotional problems like depression or anxiety.
A severely distorted self and body image.
Loss of bone mass.
Absence of menstrual periods.
Low body temperature.
Death-from dehydration, heart failure or other causes.
The main symptom of Anorexia Nervosa is a marked fear of being fat and obssessions about being and becoming thin. This usually translates into intense and secretive efforts to avoid food. No matter how thin an anorexic girl or by becmes they will still see themselves as fat. Ultimately the person will starve themselves, and use excercise and laxatives to aid this process.
Unfortunately attempting to force an anorexic teen to eat will likely end in failure and might even make the problem worse. This is because the disorder isn’t really about food or weight. Some patients become obsessed with other health concerns like treating acne, hair care, or how they dress and behave.
Anorexia is more than just a desire to look good or be accepted. Teens with these diseases are looking for more than just a perfect body. Anorexia is a complex psychological disorder that is linked to severe depression and low self-esteem.
Symptoms of Bulimia:
Uncontrollable eating (binge eating).
Dieting, fasting and vomiting as weight control measures.
Visiting the bathroom often after eating –usually to purge.
Heartburn, indigestion or sore throat.
Being obssessive about body weight.
Mood changes and depression.
Hoarding or hiding food.
Dental changes such as loss of enamel, cavities and abrasions –due to frequent vomiting.
Dehydration and electrolyte loss.
Bowel, kidney and liver damage.
Irregular heartbeat and possible cardiac arrest.
Teens with bulimia eat very large amounts of food and then induce vomiting to remove the food from their bodies. They are not comfortable or happy with their self and body image.
Most appear to be of normal weight, which can make the disorder difficult to spot, but some are underweight or overweight. Some sufferers also abuse drugs and alcohol. Bear in mind that many obese people have binge eating disorder but this is not the same as Bulumia.
Who gets Anorexia and Bulimia?
Around 75% of girls are not happy about their weight or feel they are too fat. Anorexia occurs only in 1% of girls worldwide. Do bear in mind that while eating disorders are more common in girls they also affect teen boys.
About 90% of sufferers are girls between 12 and 25 (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). Fewer than 10% are boys or men. It is more prevalent in groups that value slim physiques such as athletes, dancers or models. As already mentioned eating disorders may be masked in seeking treatment for acne, skin problems, tooth decay etc. just as an adult might.
What causes eating disorders?
It is not known exactly why one person will develop an eating disorder and another won’t. In two thirds of cases dieting can trigger the disease, but this is not the only important trigger mechanism. Most girls and boys with eating disorders have low self and body image or co-existing emotional disorders like anxiety and depression.
How dangerous are eating disorders?
The effects of both Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia can be very damaging to the general health. They can even cause death. Diuretics (water pills), laxatives, and weight loss pills can be very damaging to the body’s organs. Syrup of ipecac is often used to induce vomiting and is also deadly if used in excess. Very low body weight on its own offers some life-threatening complications.
Some effects are minor such as skin, hair problems and back acne, for which treatment might be sought. Most teenagers do not need any type of diet, except a healthy one. If your teen is overweight good eating habits and exercise is usually all that is needed to bring the problem under control.
The body mass index (BMI) of a teen is more important than calorie and pound counting. A body mass index below the 5th percentile for the child’s age and sex can be considered underweight. Consult BMI tables for more information.
How to help your teen cope with an eating disorder:
Teens can be helped to avoid falling prey to unhealthy obsessions with food or weight by learning early on to associate healthy eating with good health and self-love. Avoid excessive focus on weight within the family and place the emphasis on lifestyle changes not dieting.
If you suspect that your teen has an eating disorder, use “I” statements and make sure he or she understands that you are concerned not judging. It is important to LISTEN. The average teen finds it hard to share emotions, and these teens are especially blocked or sensitive.
In Anorexia nervosa it is very important that some weight is regained as soon as possible so this should be an important goal of treatment. To do this, teens will need to overcome fears and perceptions in a therapeutic setting. In most cases any eating disorder is best dealt with at a clinic or facility especially tailored for this.
Concerned parents can call the National Eating Disorders Association’s Toll-Free Information and Referral HelpLine at 1-800-931-2237.
If you uncover that your child does have an eating disorder he or she needs to be evaluated as soon as possible. Eating disorders need to be properly diagnosed by medical and psychiatric professionals. They always need medical attention.
The National Institute of Mental Health has an online brochure on eating disorders that discusses current research.
Eating Disorders will also provide parents with information. Teens should read: Eating Disorders: Facts for Teens.
Tags: Anorexia, Bulimia, Johanna Curtis, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Acne, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Skin Care
Sue Scheff: Young Anorexics
by Sue Scheff on Apr 17, 2009
Especially young girls today, the peer pressure can encourage your young teen/tween that being “thin” is in. Teen body image can lead to other concerns, whether your child is suffering with some depression, not being able to fit in at school, or just plain feeling fat and ugly – we need to talk to them and explain about Teens and Eating Disorders, including anorexic. Teen Obesity is another issue parents need to learn more about.
Source: Connect with Kids
“I think that it definitely had something to do with my mom and my sister talking about different diets, and at that age …you don’t understand everything that they are discussing and the way that they’re discussing it, and in my head I blew it up as something bigger.”
– Shay Fuell, recovering anorexic
About 2.5 million Americans suffer from anorexia. Shay Fuell was only nine years old when the fixation began.
“(I) was starting to have body-image issues and looking in the mirror sideways and just pinching my skin seeing if there was fat there,” she says.
A few years later, she was 5-feet-2 and weighed 78 pounds.
“Literally, it becomes [a part of] every thought … in your head,” she says. “You can’t think about anything else. You can’t concentrate on anything. You can’t even hold a conversation with somebody because you are thinking about the last meal that you ate or what you should be doing to work out or how you’re going to be able to throw up without anybody knowing.”
According to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, the number of girls under the age of 12 hospitalized for eating disorders has more than doubled since 1999.
“I don’t know if they’re actually developing them younger or if it’s that parents are having a greater awareness of what’s going on with their children,” says Brigette Bellott, Ph.D., a psychologist and eating disorder specialist.
What’s going on, typically, is depression, children obsessed with eating or overly anxious about their weight and their appearance.
“Things to watch,” says Bellott, “what do they believe about their own body? I mean I would ask that: “What do you think about your body, how do you feel about it?”
Experts say it’s crucial for parents to catch the first signs of an eating disorder because the fatality rate for anorexic women is 10 to 15 percent.
“Some of them [die] through malnourishment, some through suicide,” says Mary Weber-Young, L.P.C. “It is the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness.”
Shay wasn’t diagnosed until she was 14. It took five difficult years of treatment before she had fully recovered.
“It was an addiction,” she admits. “It was an obsession.”
Tips for Parents
The American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP) describes an eating disorder as “an obsession with food and weight.” The two main eating disorders are anorexia nervosa (an obsession with being thin) and bulimia (eating a lot of food at once and then throwing up or using laxatives; also known as ‘binging and purging’). Who has eating disorders? According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders:
- Eight million or more people in the US have an eating disorder.
- Ninety percent are women
- Victims may be rich or poor
- Eating disorders usually start in the teens
- Eighty-six percent of victims report onset by age 20
- Eating disorders may begin as early as age 8
- Seventy-seven percent report duration of one to 15 years
- Six percent of serious cases end in death
It’s not always easy for parents to determine if their daughter or son is suffering from an eating disorder. But the AAFP does list the following warning signs for anorexia and bulimia:
- Unnatural concern about body weight (even if the person is not overweight)
- Obsession with calories, fat grams and food
- Use of any medicines to keep from gaining weight (diet pills, laxatives, water pills)
The more serious warning signs can be more difficult to notice because people with eating disorders often try to hide the symptoms:
- Throwing up after meals
- Refusing to eat or lying about how much was eaten
- Fainting
- Over-exercising
- Not having periods
- Increased anxiety about weight
- Calluses or scars on the knuckle (from forced throwing up)
- Denying that there is anything wrong
If left untreated, people with eating disorders can suffer some health problems, including disorders of the stomach, heart and kidneys; irregular periods or no periods at all; fine hair all over the body, including the face; dry scaly skin; dental problems (from throwing up stomach acid); dehydration.
Eating disorders can be treated. The first step is getting back to a normal weight, or at least to the lower limits of the normal weight range, according to Dr. Rex Forehand, a psychologist at the Institute for behavioral Research at the University of Georgia. But more needs to be done, Dr. Forehand says. “Attitudes and beliefs about body weight and eating patterns must also be changed. A comprehensive intervention may be necessary.”
Treatment may require hospitalization. The physician may recommend a dietician. For both anorexics and bulimics, family and individual counseling may be helpful.
References
- Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality
- American Academy of Family Physicians
- National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
Tags: Aneroxics, Connect with Kids, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Health, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff – Teen Obesity – The Teenage Body
by Sue Scheff on Dec 23, 2008
Learn more about keeping your kids in good health. Especially with more and more kids sitting behind their computer screens we need to encourage more activities!Doctor Kathy McCoy, author of “The Teenage Body Book,” explains how you can help your teen lose weight and feel better!
• Put the emphasis on good health, not weight, and make it a goal for the whole family. Teens hate being singled out and criticized. Approaching this from a “YOU need to lose weight!” point of view will guarantee a battle of the wills. Instead, ask for your teen’s help in making an action plan to promote better family eating and exercise habits.
• Have real family meals at least once a day and encourage your teen to eat what the family eats. Frantic family schedules have equaled fast food or processed, prepared food dinners — and expanding waistlines. With real, home-cooked meals, you can better control calories, fats, sugars, sodium and other nutritional issues.
• Look at and discuss all of your less than ideal eating behaviors. Maybe your teen craves junk food when she’s bored and watching TV. Maybe you dive into high calorie comfort food when you’re angry or frustrated. Pay attention to the difference between physical and emotional hunger. Discuss all this with your family — and come up with ways to comfort or reward yourselves that have nothing to do with food.
• Get your family moving. Trying to motivate an overweight teen to go to the gym can be frustrating and non-productive. Schedule exercise into your family routine: a family walk or bike ride after dinner doesn’t have to cut into homework or leisure time too dramatically — and the exercise is good for everyone.
• Become smart, skeptical consumers: There are no weight loss miracles. Help your teen to avoid quick fixes. The weight didn’t come on overnight and it can’t be lost — for good — overnight either. The goal should be health improvement with a slow, steady weight loss of no more than two pounds a week. The loss can add up to more than 100 pounds in a year — and weight lost slowly as one changes one’s eating and exercise habits is more likely to stay off.
Award-winning writer and author of “The Teenage Body Book,” Dr. Kathy McCoy is a teen psychology and health expert who has appeared as a guest on such programs as The Today Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Winner of the American Library Associations’ Best Book for Young Adults Award, “The Teenage Body Book” contains everything teenagers and their parents need to know about nutrition, health, fitness, emotions and sexuality.
Tags: Parenting, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Body Image, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Health, Teen Obesity
Sue Scheff: Teens and Eating Disorders
by Sue Scheff on Dec 18, 2008
As the holidays are here, parents should be aware of their teens and tweens concerns with body image. Today’s peer pressure compounded with Internet Images of what a teen should look like, can add stress and frustration to a young teen (both girls and boys).
Eating Disorders can sometimes be hard to recognize. As a parent, it is important to be informed and know the warning signs.
Here is a great article from Connect with Kids from this week’s parenting articles and tips:
“I would never want to look at one. I think that would be really depressing to tell you the truth.”
– Mary Hardin, 14 years old
What Mary doesn’t want to see, to millions others is just a few key words and mouse clicks away.
“Who’s the skinniest and how can they stay the skinniest (or) here’s how you can have only one thing to eat all day or how you can survive on water and gum,” explains Bryna Livingston, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in eating disorders.
Livingston is referring to pro-anorexia websites – where girls are applauded for losing weight and surviving hunger – that are emerging on the Internet. On many such sites, anorexics journal thoughts and feelings and even post pictures of their thin celebrity idols.
“It’s a pseudo-support group, and the problem is you’re not really getting support,” says Livingston. “You’re feeding a competition. You’re feeding a disease, and you’re feeding what you want to hear so you don’t have to make any changes.”
For Mary Hardin, change was hard. She struggled with anorexia for three years. These websites, she says, spell danger. “I think (the websites) could have really made me worse and (made me) fall more into my eating disorder and encouraged me more,” she says. “That’s the last thing I needed was to be encouraged to be in an eating disorder.”
Experts say parents of anorexics have to show tough love, especially if their child is being enticed by these Internet sites. “I’d turn off the computer. I’d get it out of the house,” says Livingston.
Mary’s advice: “Listen to who you trust. Do you trust your family and your friends, or do you trust these people (on the Internet) that you don’t even know that are trying to give you lessons about your life?”
Luckily, Mary avoided the lure of anorexia websites when she was struggling with her illness. After years of therapy and family support, she says she is now healed. “It is possible to recover and to be a healthy girl with a happy life after it all,” she says. “There is hope to get through it.”
Tips for Parents
Many dangerous places exist in cyberspace, especially for those with body image difficulties. A quick, easy Google search can produce a long list of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites – places where those who suffer from eating disorders (ED) support each other and establish a sense of community. There are at least 100 active pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites. Some statistics state that several of these sites have accumulated tens of thousands of hits. Many sites treat eating disorders as lifestyle choices, rather than the illnesses they truly are. Most personify anorexia (“Ana”) and bulimia (“Mia”) into companions – individuals one can look to for guidance and strength.
The medical community classifies eating disorders as mental illnesses. Experts say girls with eating disorders focus on their bodies in a misguided bid to resolve deeper psychological issues, believing that they can fix their inner troubles by achieving a perfect outside. Eating disorder specialists say pro-anorexia sites are particularly dangerous since those suffering from the disease are usually in deep denial and cling to the illness to avoid dealing with its psychological underpinnings. Websites that glorify eating disorders make treatment increasingly difficult.
- Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
- There are an estimated 7 million females and 1 million males suffering from eating disorders in the United States.
- The Harvard Eating Disorders Center estimates that 3 percent of adolescent women and girls have anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders.
- Four-of-five 13-year-old girls have attempted to lose weight.
- One study showed that 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.
About 1 percent of females between 10 and 20 have anorexia nervosa. Between 2 percent and 3 percent of young women develop bulimia nervosa. Almost half of all anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.
Without treatment, up to 20 percent of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, the mortality rate falls to 2 to 3 percent. The recovery rate with treatment is about 60 percent. Alas, only 10 percent of those with eating disorders receive treatment.
Pro-ED sites are just one reason why parents need to monitor children’s online behavior. In the web journals or logs (blogs) of these sites, users share near-starvation diets, offer tips for coping with hunger and detail ways to avoid the suspicions of family members. They post “thinspiration” – images from the media of their ideal celebrities, such as supermodel Kate Moss and the Olsen twins. They discuss extreme calorie restriction and weight loss through laxatives, diet pills and purging (self-induced vomiting).
- Between the ages of 8 and 14, females naturally gain at least 40 pounds.
- More than half of teenage girls are – or think they should be – on diets.
- Websites were changing the very culture surrounding eating disorders, making them more acceptable to girls on and off the Internet.
- Pro-ED sites thrive off the denial aspect of the illnesses while promoting the perceived benefits of having an eating disorder.
References
- Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
- Harvard Eating Disorders Center
- The National Institute of Mental Health
- Reuters
- Socialist Voice of Women
- South Carolina Department of Mental Health
I also recommend you visit a survivor of Eating Disorders, Lori Hanson’s website at www.lori-hanson.com and check out her book, It All Started with Pop-Tarts.
Tags: Aneroxia, At Risk Teens, Connect with Kids, Eating Disorders, Lori Hanson, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Peer Pressure, Sue Scheff, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Teen Body Image and Parenting Teens
by Sue Scheff on Dec 12, 2008
Sarah Maria offers Break Free Beauty - Body Image and Teens which can help promote body image in a positive direction and build self esteem. Having a high self worth feeling, can help your child make better choices.
Sarah’s vast website of great articles and thoughts on reaching the power of your individual potential in life. I have been on Sarah’s Internet Radio Show in which she takes time to bring valuable ideas, concepts and positive living to people.
As a Parent Advocate, I continually look for parenting tips to help families with today’s generation of teens and the issues that they are confronted with . Teen Body Image can be a major concern, especially for girls.
Read Sarah’s parenting tips here:
Parental Tips
If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feel dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:
- Have an Open Door Policy-You’d like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren’t sure if she’s coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she like talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.
- Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don’t feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.
- Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.
Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.
Resources:
Health AtoZ: Is it a Diet or an Eating Disorder?
Eating Disorder Statistics
http://www.freewebs.com/anadeath/statistics.htm
Tags: Eating Disorders, Parent Advocate, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sarah Maria, Sue Scheff, Teen Body Image, Teen Eating Disorders, Teen Help
