Homework: Is it Your Teen’s Priority?

by Sue Scheff on Sep 01, 2010


Schools are opening – teens are trying to get back into the swing of a schedule of classes.  Especially High School students who will be applying to colleges, are they aware of importance of homework and exams?  Many can pass the tests yet neglect their homework and end up failing.  Don’t let this happen to your teen.  Another timely article from Connect with Kids to help you parent your teenager.

Source: Connect with Kids

Homework First

You come home from school – you do homework first, then you have free time.”

– Darlene, a mother

A new school year… new teachers, new classmates, new homework assignments. The homework debate will likely continue… too much or too little? But the assignments will still be due. For too many families, a new school year means new homework battles.

New research from the University of Michigan reports that students who understand how adult earnings are related to education spend more time on schoolwork – seeing homework as an investment in their future, not a chore.

When 16-year-old Christian and 10-year-old Christopher arrive home from school, the rule is homework comes first. “We tried it other ways, and they ended up not getting their homework done,” explains the boys’ mother, Darlene Duvall.

Homework is first, but there’s no yelling and no pestering from mom or dad.

“They let me do what I have to do to finish my homework. They won’t beat down on me, be like, ‘you gotta do your homework, you gotta do your homework,’” Christian says.

It’s a kind of freedom that teaches responsibility. But what if your child abuses the freedom?

“Then the parent says OK, you said I could trust you to do this on your own, to leave you alone, and you’ve messed up. Now, it’s not going to be that way anymore,” says Bob Macris, a high school curriculum director.

Macris says parents should start by telling their children they can’t play until the homework is done. Then, check their work and ask questions. “Do they really understand? You know Johnny, you wrote this down. What exactly does this mean?” Macris says.

The problem is, sometimes that just starts a fight.

“The time to take a second look at homework is when a child and a parent get to a level when they really are just yelling and screaming at each other and not communicating,” Macris advises.

If that happens, the key is to find someone else to whom your child will listen: the other parent, an older sibling or maybe a tutor.

“And the kids will feel a lot better about it, and so will the parent. But the parents should still follow up and make sure that the kid is doing what he or she is supposed to be doing,” Macris says.

What We Need To Know

What should you do if your child hates homework and doesn’t complete assignments on time or at all? The U.S. Department of Education has some advice. The department’s National Parent Information Network (NPIN) suggests that parents call someone at school when homework problems arise. Everyone needs to work together – the school, teachers, parents and the student – to solve the problems. If your child refuses to do assignments, call his or her teacher. If you and your child can’t understand the homework instructions, call the teacher. The teacher may also be able to help you get your child organized to do the homework. The NPIN says different homework problems require different solutions:

  • Does your child have a hard time finishing assignments on time? Maybe he or she has poor study skills and needs help getting organized.
  • Is the homework too difficult? Maybe your child has fallen behind and needs special help from a teacher or tutor.
  • Is your child bored with the homework? Maybe it’s too easy and your child needs extra assignments that give more challenge.

The NPIN suggests asking your child these questions to combat any problems about homework that may arise:

  • What’s your assignment today?
  • Is the assignment clear? (If not, suggest calling the school’s homework hotline or a classmate.)
  • Do you need special resources (a trip to the library or access to a computer)?
  • Do you need special supplies (graph paper, poster board, etc.)?
  • Have you started today’s assignment? Have you completed it?
  • Is it a long-term assignment (a term paper or science project)?
  • For a major project, would it be helpful to write out the steps or make a schedule?
  • Would a practice test be useful?

What kind of “homework help” should parents give their children? The Chicago Public Schools offers this advice:

  • Encouragement: Give your child praise for efforts and for completing assignments.
  • Availability: Encourage your child to do the work independently, but be available for assistance.
  • Scheduling: Establish a set time to do homework each day. You may want to use a calendar to keep track of assignments and due dates.
  • Space: Provide a space for homework, stocked with the necessary supplies, such as pencils, pens, paper, dictionaries, a computer and other reference materials.
  • Discipline: Help your child focus on homework by removing distractions, such as television, radio, telephone and interruptions from siblings and friends.
  • Modeling: Consider doing some of your work, such as paying bills or writing letters, during your child’s homework time.
  • Support: Talk to your child about difficulties with homework. Be willing to talk to your child’s teacher to resolve problems in a positive manner.
  • Involvement: Familiarize yourself with the teacher’s homework policy. Make sure that you and your child understand the teacher’s expectations. At the beginning of the year, you may want to ask your child’s teacher these questions – What kinds of assignments will you give? How often do you give homework? How much time are the students expected to spend on them? What type of involvement do you expect from parents?

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Back to School Homework Frustrations

by Sue Scheff on Aug 27, 2010


Many schools are back in session.  Teens that have been swimming, surfing, enjoying the beach, traveling or simply sleeping in over the summer are now faced with studies, homework and deadlines.

Students are trying to get back into the routine of early rising and homework blues, however it doesn’t have to be the blues, you can turn it around.

What can you do as a parent to help them overcome this hump?

8 Ways Parents Can Help With Homework:

1. Offer encouragement. Give your child praise for efforts and for completing assignments.

2. Be available. Encourage your child to do the work independently, but be available for assistance.

3. Maintain a schedule. Establish a set time to do homework each day. You may want to use a calendar to keep track of assignments and due dates.

4. Designate space. Provide a space for homework, stocked with necessary supplies, such as pencils, pens, paper, dictionaries, a computer, and other reference materials.

5. Provide discipline. Help your child focus on homework by removing distractions, such as television, radio, telephone, and interruptions from siblings and friends.

6. Be a role model. Consider doing some of your work, such as paying bills or writing letters, during your child’s homework time.

7. Be supportive. Talk to your child about difficulties with homework. Be willing to talk to your child’s teacher to resolve problems in a positive manner.

8. Involvement. Familiarize yourself with the teacher’s homework policy. Make sure that you and your child understand the teacher’s expectations. At the beginning of the year, you may want to ask your child’s teacher these questions – What kinds of assignments will you give? How often do you give homework? How much time are the students expected to spend on them? What type of involvement do you expect from parents?

Sources: Chicago Public Schools, Connect with Kids

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Update Your Emergency Numbers and Hotlines Today: You Could Save a Life

by Sue Scheff on Aug 19, 2010


Raising children today or taking care of elderly parents, keeping emergency numbers and hotlines available at all time is imperative.  Whether your teen or child comes home from school by themselves, or you live on your own, keeping these numbers up-to-date is critical to saving lives.  Every minute counts if a child swallows a poisonous household product, every second counts if your child is a runaway or been abducted.

Here is a great list to start with and take the time to add more that may refer to you personally such as your emergency contacts:

Above is a start and be sure to add your local sheriff’s office as well as your emergency contacts.

School opens next week in Broward, Dade and Palm Beach County, put this on your list to do in order to prepare for a safe and healthy school year.

Be an educated parent, you will have healthier and safer teens.

Please add more emergency numbers and hotlines in comments – you may save a life!

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Sue Scheff: Are you an iMOM? Get in the Know!

by Sue Scheff on Aug 11, 2010


There are many online communities that have fantastic information and resources for parents.  iMOM is definitely on the top of this list.

Whether you are considering daycare centers or stumbling through that adolescent stage, iMOM has a vast amount of resources to inspire you to be a better parent.

iMOM is the newest program of Family First and the complement to the organization’s popular All Pro Dad fatherhood program.

The iMOM program will provide information, ideas and encouragement to mothers where and when they need it – and from noted experts in a variety of specialties concerning childhood development and parenting. iMOM delivers their research and tools through the following resources:

  • iMOM.com is a clean, inviting space for mothers to visit daily at their own convenience. The website is a library of parenting information arranged by relevancy to their child’s age and by topic. Specialists will be featured weekly as well as expert advice on breaking research and news. iMom.com strives to be your “Technological cup of coffee” – a place you go to daily for soothing and stimulating refreshment.
  • Espresso Minute, a free daily e-mail, is a quick shot of parenting advice delivered Monday through Friday encouraging mothers to focus on one of the many facets of being a mom each day. The Espresso Minute will include a call to action that will help a mother build her parenting skills.
  • Drive-Time CDs are a parenting tool designed for the busy mother who is often in the car. Each CD covers a parenting topic and each topic is broken down into 5 to 10-minute segments that can be listened to while carpooling, running errands or gong to work.
  • Pillow Talk and Pillow Talk Tonight are for the mother who desires to pursue the heart of her child and develop a close and trusting relationship. Pillow Talk is a creative journal that leads a mother through the process of opening lines of communication with her child. The journal is interactive and used by both the mother and the child, with the suggestion of trading the journal back and forth by leaving it on the other’s pillow before bed.
  • iMOM Mornings are school-based breakfasts designed to bring mothers and children together for support and inspiration. Meetings may incorporate a live speaker, a relevant topic, questions for group discussion and practice skills to take home.

Sign up today to keep up with raising our children in a safe and healthy environment.

Follow iMOM’s on Twitter and join them on Facebook.

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Teen Help: Dads Get Involved

by Sue Scheff on Aug 10, 2010


School is opening soon and parents are scrambling to get school supplies, uniforms books and other things needed to start off the school year. There is one item you can’t forget, that is yourself!

Did you know by just showing up can make a world of difference to a child?

Parent involvement has a positive impact on their child’s academic and social life in school. It can be difficult with many single parent households or parents that are working more than one job to make ends meet, but your child’s school should be high on your priority list. Even if you can only volunteer an hour a month, it makes a difference.

Traditionally mothers are the ones getting involved with their child’s school and community; this needs to change. Fathers are needed and wanted! More and more dads are getting involved and finding the time to make a difference their child’s life.

All Pro Dad’s is a simple idea with a profound impact. It’s a one-hour monthly breakfast held before school where fathers and their children meet with other dads and kids in the school cafeteria or a local restaurant. During this time, they discuss a wide range of family topics, spend time together, create fun memories, and are equipped with resources to strengthen their relationship. For more about All Pro Dad’s, please watch the short video here.

Is your community or school participating in All Pro Dad’s? Find a chapter near you, click here. Remember, family first!

Meet your team captain here.

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Sue Scheff: Teen Depression – 5 Risk Factors

by Sue Scheff on Jul 24, 2010


Another guest post and this is a topic that many parents face with teens today.  As school will be opening soon, let’s be sure our teens are healthy both emotionally and physically.

Teen Depression: 5 Risk Factors

By Alexis Bonari

Teenagers represent the demographic that is most prone to experience chronic depression.  Suicide among teens is an all-time high. While it’s impossible to be completely keyed-in to your child’s inner life, it is important to take certain risk factors into account when determining whether your child is at risk for chronic depression.  What follows are the five factors that have been statistically proven to effect depression:

1. Family History
Chronic depression has been shown to be at least partially genetic. Depression is a chemical condition. When an individual is depressed, their brain fails to produce certain chemicals that would normally allow for a happier state of mind.  These chemicals are controlled by structures in the brain that are passed down the family line.  If you your immediate relatives suffer from depression, chances are greater that your children will too.

2. Substance Abuse
Alcohol, marijuana, and other “downers” cause a chemical change in the brain that can lead to depression.  Also, use of these drugs can greatly alter an individual’s productivity.  This leads to social isolation and reinforces a depressed mental state.

3. Gender
Women are more likely than men to experience severe depression.  This difference is even more exacerbated during adolescence.  Some believe that a difference in brain physiology is to blame.  Others believe that social pressures weight more heavily on women than on their male counterparts.  Teenage girls are more likely than teenage boys to be the target of long-term hazing and bullying.

4. Personality
Different personalities handle stress differently.  If your child has an introverted personality type, they are at risk for social isolation and depression.

5. Stressful Life Events
The death of a close relative, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a failing grade on a test, or any other negative event can seem like the end of the world when you’re 16. A teenager’s brain isn’t fully developed.  There are physiological reasons why teenagers seem to “freak out” over what most adults would consider normal pitfalls along the road of life.  Don’t discount or downplay your child’s feelings, even if they seem extreme given the situation.  If your teen feels they can confide in you, they’re more likely to avoid long-term depression.

As parents, we represent our child’s first line of defense against things that might cause them harm. Although depression is an internal matter, it poses as real a risk to a child’s future as illegal drug use or irresponsible sex.  An informed parent can be the difference between life and death for a depressed teen.

Bio of Author: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She often can be found blogging about general education issues as well as information on college scholarships. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

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Sue Scheff: Loving your Teens – and Hating their Behavior

by Sue Scheff on Jul 15, 2010


When it comes to parenting teens, many parents have said, “I love my teen, however I don’t like them or their actions.” Does this make you a bad parent?

New York Magazine writer, Jennifer Senior, wrote a very compelling and thought provoking article. I Love My Children – I Hate My Life.”

Although the article chronicles from baby age up through toddlers, many can relate to these families when dealing with their teenagers, as the feelings of disdain can become even stronger.  You have nurtured your child, you have given all you believe he/she needed – including the best you could with your time, and your teen is still treating you with disrespect and defiance?  What gives?

With today’s fast-paced world, difficult economic times, as well as the society of peer pressure among teens that leads to dangerous behaviors, parenting is more challenging than generations earlier.

How do you find the balance?  The cliché teens will be teens, is common, but how do parents survive these sometimes difficult times?

Knowing that there is light the end of the tunnel can help, talking to friends and family that have gone through it all, can also help you get through these bumpy times.  Remember, the teens years can be tough, but hopefully they do grow out of it and you will see your child leading the prosperous life you had planned for them.

In the meantime – don’t forget it is important for parents to have “me-time” and there is nothing wrong with it.  It can help you be a better parent. In the same respect, remember to be a parent first, then their friend.  Many parents miss this step and it can lead to difficulties in parenting with boundaries.

Be an educated parent, you will be a better one on the way…..

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Sue Scheff: Teen Truth – Statewide initiative encourages positive lifestyle choices for teens

by Sue Scheff on Jul 14, 2010


Today teens, parents, teachers and others need as much as assistance in helping our children navigate through adolescence during a time of heightened peer pressure that can lead to very bad choices.

Teen Facts:

  • According to a 2009 Florida Youth Risk Behavior survey, 50.6 percent (365,700) of teens surveyed have had sexual intercourse.
  • 37 percent of students surveyed have had sexual intercourse with one or more people during the past 3 months.
  • 16.6 percent of students surveyed have had sexual intercourse with four or more partners during their lifetime; the number was significantly higher among males surveyed.
  • According to the Florida Department of Transportation, in 2008 there were more than 32,344 crashes. Of those crashes, 216 teens were killed.

The Florida Department of Health recently joined forces with WAHI Media to provide parents and teens with information to make good choices when facing critical decisions.

WAHI Media with the partnership of The Florida Health Department, developed an interactive website called TeenTruth.org.

The TeenTruth.org WAHI uses real actors to target young people, parents, and citizens on a number of topics, including drug prevention, relationships, and healthy relationships betweens parents and kids” said Glenn Hallam, founder of WAHI Media. “The WAHI allows participants to respond to different situations and gain an understanding of the best ways to handle those situations in the future, in a way that traditional communication methods simply cannot achieve.

Visit www.teentruth.org today and experience the knowledge to help you help your teens today!

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

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Sue Scheff: Fourth of July and Underage Drinking

by Sue Scheff on Jul 02, 2010


Hospital emergency department visits involving underage drinking nearly double during the Fourth of July holiday weekend, according to a new study by SAMHSA. The study reveals that daily underage drinking-related visits to hospital emergency departments are 87 percent higher during the Fourth of July weekend than they are on an average day in July.

The report estimates that on an average day in July, there are 502 hospital emergency department visits involving underage alcohol use. For the 3-day Fourth of July weekend, however, the number of daily hospital emergency department visits jumps to 938.

Talk to your kids today about the dangers of drinking.

Real kids are curious about alcohol. 40% have tried it by the time they reach eighth grade. Talking with your children early and often can make a difference. Get the facts, the tools, and the advice you need to start talking real. Click here for more information.

Family, peers, school, and the community all play a role in your child’s decision to drink. In fact, most children who use alcohol get it from a friend or family member. To ensure these people become positive role models for your child, let them know how you feel about underage drinking. Over 70% of eighth graders said alcohol is easy to get. 30% of children age 12-14 get alcohol from a family member.

Source: SAMHSA

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

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Sue Scheff: Skin Cancer and Your Teens and Kids Playing Sports

by Sue Scheff on Jun 30, 2010


Summer offers many outdoor sports and that can bring lots of sunshine which means your kids need skin protection.  It starts at home, it starts with parenting – getting your kids used to putting on the sunscreen before they go out.

Source: Connect with Kids

Student Athletes and Skin Cancer

“It’s a culture mind-set. It needs to start in childhood, where… they go and they automatically reach for the sunscreen, and their parent automatically puts it on.”

– Dr. Louis Rapkin, Pediatric Oncologist, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta

Every day, during the brightest sunshine of the day, thousands of student athletes across the U.S. are out on the practice fields getting ready for the start of the next season or the next big game. Coaches and trainers try to keep their athletes healthy and safe.

They’ll wear pads, tape up fragile ankles, and will stretch to avoid muscle strains.

But will they use sunscreen?

Not 16-year-old Mary Ellen, who practices, in the sun, almost every day for her high school’s cross-country team. “It doesn’t really cross my mind to use it during workouts,” she says.

Mary Hollis, who’s 18, expresses a similar sentiment. “I mean my mom talks to me about it. And I usually start thinking about it when I actually feel like I’m getting burned. But by then, I’m already running, and it’s too late.”

“I would say most people do not use it,” says 18-year-old Dean.

And he’s right.

A study conducted by researchers at the University of Alabama shows on average student athletes spend more than 17 hours outdoors in practice or competition during the brightest part of the day, and few wear cancer-protecting sunscreen.

Dr. Louis Rapkin, a pediatric oncologist at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, explains, “Skin cancer is one of the most rapidly growing cancers in the world. The rates are increasing, period, for every age group at every level. We’ve all heard about the ozone layer and other natural defenses breaking down. So there’s higher amounts of radiation making it to the earth’s surface.”

He says the job of looking ahead, and protecting kids, begins with the parents. “It’s a culture mind-set. It needs to start in childhood, where, anytime a child goes out who’s 3, 4, 6, 10, they go and they automatically reach for the sunscreen, and their parent automatically puts it on.”

For older kids, who never got into the habit, coaches and trainers can help.

Geoff Koteles, a certified athletic trainer, says he takes every opportunity to remind kids of the importance of sunscreen. “I say, ‘make sure you have your own next week. Put it in your bag. If you don’t have it, I’ve got it. But be sure that you get your own and bring your own.’ And usually within the first week or two, they have their own.”

Mary Ellen says such prodding could work. “I mean if they provided it and it was right there and really easy, then I’m sure more kids would be inclined to use it.”

What Parents Need To Know

Training and playing in the mid-day sun puts athletes at risk for skin cancer, a potentially life-threatening condition that affects 1 in 5 Americans. Dermatologists warn that sweating increases the risk because perspiration lowers what’s called the minimal erythema dose, the lowest ultraviolet (UV) light exposure needed to turn the skin barely pink – making athletes even more susceptible to sunburn.

According to the findings of the University of Alabama study, nearly all athletes know sunscreen is important, but few say they apply it before practice and competition. They’re also not learning proper protection from their coaches, as only about 20 percent of high school coaches use sunscreen themselves, although they spend an average of about 16 hours a week in full sun.

The U.S. Federal Drug Administration says that sunburns and blistering are the most obvious – and painful – results of sun damage. But exposure to both ultraviolet A (UVA) and ultraviolet B (UVB) rays can result in cumulated damage that leads to skin aging, cataracts, corneal burns and irregular skin pigmentation. And recent research shows that severe sunburns in childhood can significantly increase the risk later in life of developing melanoma, the most serious type of skin cancer. Consider these additional statistics about sunburns and sun exposure from the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center:

  • Eighty percent of lifetime exposure to sunlight occurs before the age 18.
  • Sixty percent of the day’s sun-burning radiation occurs between the hours of 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.
  • Eighty percent of damaging rays can get through clouds.
  • Under normal circumstances, children receive three times the annual sun exposure of adults.
  • Even one blistering sunburn during childhood could result in the development of melanoma later in life.
  • Three or more episodes of sunburn before the age of 20 that require more than three days to heal increase the risk of contracting melanoma by two to five times.
  • Children born today have a four to five times greater risk for developing melanoma in their lifetimes than their parents have.

First and foremost, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) says that you can help your child avoid future sun-related health problems by insisting that he or she wear sunscreen while exposed to the sun, particularly during outdoor sports. Secondly, make sure your child knows how to use sunscreen effectively. The experts at Harvard Medical School offer the following tips for sunscreen application:

  • Start early. Apply sunscreen early in the season, well before the dog days of summer. And apply it early in the day. In addition to offering better protection, diligent use of sunscreen offers protection during moments of spontaneity – for example, you may suddenly decide to take a swim, go on a bike ride or practice that sport in which you want to excel.
  • Indulge in excess. You can always buy more sunscreen, so don’t be bashful when applying it. For example, if you are at the beach (a place with lots of direct sunlight), use approximately one ounce per application.
  • Cover up. Cover all areas of your exposed skin, including under your chin, with sunscreen. And don’t forget to use a lip balm that has an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or more.
  • Dry before you fly. Let the sunscreen dry for 15 to 30 minutes on all exposed areas before you go outside.
  • Apply and apply again. One application of sunscreen is rarely enough. Gels wash off easily with sweat or water, so they need to be applied frequently. Even water-resistant heavy creams should be applied every one and a half to two hours and after activities, such as swimming.

If you believe that your child or teen has already suffered sun damage, the AAD gives the following advice:

  • Seek medical attention from your child’s dermatologist to evaluate if he or she received skin or eye damage from the sun or if he or she experienced an allergic reaction to the sun.
  • See your child’s dermatologist if he or she develops an unusual mole, a scaly patch or a sore that doesn’t heal. Your child may have developed a pre-cancer or a skin cancer.

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