Teen Dating Abuse: 43% of College Women Have Reported Dating Violence or Abuse
by Sue Scheff on Sep 21, 2011
Nation’s leading experts confirm college dating violence is a much larger problem than anyone realizes
Loveisrespect.org, the National Partnership to End Dating Abuse, launches new initiative to combat dating violence on college campuses nationwide
A new survey reveals dating violence and abuse to be surprisingly more prevalent among college students than previously believed. Nearly half of dating college women (43%) report having ever experienced violent or abusive dating behaviors, and more than one in five (22%) report actual physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of physical violence. Despite the high number of students experiencing these types of abuse, more than one-third of college students (38%) say they would not know how to get help on campus if they found themselves in an abusive relationship.
The survey, “Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” was conducted by Knowledge Networks to address the lack of data on dating violence and abuse among college students and to increase the understanding of this problem on college campuses nationwide.
According to dating violence expert, Dr. Karen Singleton, Director of Sexual Violence Response, a program of Columbia University Health Services, “This survey expands on earlier reports and reinforces the complexity of the issue.” Among the findings are:
· Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women report having been a victim of an abusive dating relationship in her life.
· 57% of students who report having been in an abusive dating relationship indicate it occurred in college.
· 52% of college women report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal or controlling abuse.
· Further, 58% of students said they would not know how to help if they knew someone was a victim.
“The findings of this survey prove that colleges and universities need to provide a more comprehensive response and additional creative educational programs to address dating violence and abuse,” said Jane Randel, Senior Vice President, Corporate Communications, Liz Claiborne Inc.
The survey findings were released today, during a forum to educate students about sexual assault prevention and survivor assistance at American University.
The full report of survey results can be found at www.loveisnotabuse.com.
National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle Respond to the Urgent Need for Education
In direct response to these new findings, www.loveisrespect.org, a partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and leading teen dating violence prevention organization, Break the Cycle, is launching an initiative to target college students with new, relevant resources to address the issue of dating abuse.
The expanded online content includes: Take Action (information on how students can get involved on their campus), Stay Safe (safety planning designed specifically for college students) and Help a Friend (information to assist bystanders). The survey shows that 57% of college students say it is difficult to identify dating abuse – substantive evidence of the need for increased education and awareness.
“It is our hope that with these targeted college resources, we can help increase knowledge about how students can combat the issue and ultimately, help prevent the prevalence of dating abuse and violence among students,” said President of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and National Dating Abuse Helpline, Katie-Ray Jones.
The resources are available, free online at www.loveisrespect.org.
In addition, Liz Claiborne Inc. has created a college dating violence curriculum called Love Is Not Abuse, designed to help students deal with dating violence and abuse on campus. The first college curriculum of its kind, Love Is Not Abuse educates students about the dangers and warning signs of dating violence, offers lessons specifically on abuse via technology and provides resources where college students can find help on campus.
The Love Is Not Abuse curriculum was created by a task force consisting of educators and domestic and sexual violence experts from Columbia University, George Mason University, the University of Kansas, Virginia Community College System, Northern Virginia Community College and Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) following the May 2010 murder of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love.
The Love Is Not Abuse college curriculum is available online, free at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum.
Tags: Love is Not Abuse, Parenting Teens, Teen Dating Abuse, teen dating violence, Teen Help
Teen Dating Tips
by Sue Scheff on May 01, 2011
Talk to your teens about dating.
Dating can be a fun and great time for you as a teenager. The first teen dating tip is the most important. It is totally possible to maintain good standards while having a good time. In fact, you will have more fun when you do. The easiest way to do this is look for and date people who have the same high standards as you do. The bad boy or girl may look intriguing, however the fun wears off really quickly.
Manners matter when you are dating, especially as a teenager. Always remember your ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ with the person you are out with. There is nothing more annoying than an ungrateful date. The second teen dating tip is to remember the golden rule: treat others like you want to be treated.
All of this aside, the following are some more great teen dating tips. Hopefully most of these will already be second nature, but if they are not it is a good time to start working on them.
Before The Date
~Asking the Person Out~ When you have found someone that you would like to go out with, practice asking them out (especially if you are nervous). When you have it mastered, just do it. You don’t have to come up with a fancy shmancy way to ask. A simple, “Do you want to go out on Friday?” is totally okay.
HINT: It is NOT good dating etiquette to show up in their driveway, call them on their cell phone and ask them out right then. Parents do not like this.
~Get a Group Together~ It is so much more fun to go out in a group, especially when you are just getting into the dating mix. A bunch of people can come up with so much more to do and talk about. It will also help with the nerves of the date.
~Take a Shower~ Truly… clean up and look nice for the person you have asked out or that has asked you out. Grooming is a good habit anyway, but take it to the next level for your date. Honestly, no one wants to go out with someone that just got done with team practice and smells like it.
HINT: Extra cologne and perfume do not cover up the smell of sweat….
~Know Where You Are Going and What You Are Doing~ This is good teen dating tip manners. You will be able to let the other person know what to expect. Also, they should know what kind of clothing and dress to pick out. Most importantly, when your date’s parents ask what you are doing, you will be able to give them a good answer. Very important.
HINT: Your date’s parents will know when you are not telling the truth…
The Date
~Picking Up Your Date~ Go up to the door to pick up your date. I don’t care how scared you are to meet your date’s parents… you need to do it! Man up! My father was a very scary man to boys who came to pick me up. Most of them left the house shaking. Yet, the ones who manned up and did it earned not only my respect, but his. The ones who didn’t were quite simply not good enough.
HINT: Honking your horn for your date shows fear and a lack of respect. DON”T DO IT.
~Be Yourself~ The reason why your date said yes to you is because of you. If you pretend to be someone else it will only get harder, especially if you spend more time with that person. Really, trying to be someone other than you is just a big fat lie you have to keep up…how exhausting.
HINT: It is so much more fun being the nerd you really are inside.
~Conversations~ Believe it or not, you will have to talk to your date. It is a good idea to have a list of things in mind that are interesting about that person that you want to know more about. Ask questions and then listen to what they say. Answer questions you are asked. This is good manners.
HINT: Don’t sit and talk about yourself the entire night… boring.
~Put the Electronics Away~ You are out with someone to have fun with, talk to and have adventures. It is impossible to do any of this if your ear buds are in, attached to your text conversation or chatting with your friends on the phone. Unplug for the night.
~Respect Curfew~ Nothing good happens after curfew. Your date’s parents have a very good reason they want their son or daughter home by a certain time. Even if you don’t understand it, respect it. Chances are, if you do, you will be allowed to see your date again.
HINT: Being in the driveway ‘chatting’ in the car is not respecting curfew. Your date needs to be in the house for it to count.
~Respect Yourself~ Unfortunately there are times when your date is not very respectful of who you are and your standards. If this ever occurs, it is important that you remember: IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO AND MEAN IT. Stand up for yourself. Get out of the car. Walk away, get somewhere safe, and call someone. No one is worth giving up who you are inside.
~The Doorstep~ Every date has to come to an end. Remember curfew? Walk your date to the doorstep. This does not mean that you have to kiss them, it just means that you want to see them safely inside. Let your date know you had a good time (if you really did). Only tell them you are going to call them if it is the truth. Otherwise your date will be agonizing and staring at the phone for the next few days. Give their parents a break and be honest about calling this person.
Hopefully these teen dating tips will give you an idea of what to do when you are out with someone. My mom always used to say to me, “Remember who you are, use your manners and have fun.” She knew what she was talking about. Enjoy!
Source: Modern Manners and Etiquette
Tags: Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating, Teen Dating Abuse, Teen Dating Tips, teen dating violence, Teen Issues
Teen Relationships: Is your Teen in a Healthy Relationship?
by Sue Scheff on Oct 05, 2010
From time to time I receive guest Bloggers that have written excellent articles on information I believe my reader will benefit from. As school is in full swing now, teen relationships are forming. How do you know if your teen is in a healthy relationship?
Is Your Teen in an Unhealthy Relationship?
Relationships are an essential part of life; without them, we would all wither and die of loneliness. However, there are times when relationships are the cause of immense suffering – when they’re abusive, one-sided or unhealthy, they tend to take more out of you than they give in return. It’s hard enough for adults to tackle relationships maturely, so when you know your teenager is interested in the opposite sex and has started to date, it’s only natural that your parental and protective instincts soar high. As long as your child is happy and cheerful for the most part, you don’t worry – you’re the indulgent parent watching your child grow into an adult. But when you sense that something is not right, when your gut feel tells you that the relationship your child is in is not healthy, you must do something to prevent them from getting into trouble or getting hurt.
- Some teens get into relationships that are abusive – their partner is physically violent or verbally abusive. If you see your child with bruises and cuts that they cannot explain properly or if you notice them crying or upset after a phone call or a text message or when they’re back from a date, it’s time to probe for more information and help them out.
- If your teen is a relationship that is proving to be distractive and detrimental to everything else in their life, you must do something to make them see sense. You don’t want your child to end up being a parent before they’ve gone to college and seen something of life, so even if you end up being labeled the villain, you must talk to them and make them understand that marriage straight out of high school is not an option even if they’ve found the love of their lives. It will be hard to make them understand your point of view, but you must try your best because you love your child and want the best for them.
- In worst case scenarios, your teen could also be involved with a much older person who could be married too – it’s not unheard of for girls to be swayed by the attention of older men who shower them with gifts and take advantage of them or for boys to get seduced by older women. If your child is hiding their significant other from you and acting weirdly, it’s time to get to the bottom of things. I don’t mean that you must pry into their lives, just that you must be careful to ensure that they don’t get trapped by older adults who take advantage of their gullibility.
Talking to your teen is not the easiest of things to do because they tend to guard their privacy fiercely and will resent you “butting in”. However, you must persist because your child’s emotional wellbeing is at stake. Be understanding yet firm in your desire to help; continue to offer to talk and be there for them when the dam breaks and they finally feel they’ve had enough. Don’t despair that your child has undergone a bad experience – they come out better because of it and avoid making the same mistake again.
By-line:
This guest post is contributed by Rachel Davis, she writes on the topic of Radiology programs . She welcomes your comments at her email id: racheldavis65[@]gmail[.]com.
Tags: Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Love
Sue Scheff: Straight Talk – Teens and Sex, The Real Truth
by Sue Scheff on May 30, 2010
With today’s ever expanding Internet and television shows such as 16 and Pregnant, the vast amount of materials that are available to teens today about sex education is tremendous. There are no excuses for teen pregnancies. The availability of contraceptives as well as the many resources that are open to teens should help prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Sadly, there are some teens that see having a baby as a tool to keeping a boyfriend or even a way to have someone love them unconditionally. Without thinking of the consequences, teenagers are not always mature enough to see the full picture of parenthood. It is not playing house, and it is not a baby doll; Having a baby is a full time job and a massive responsibility. Some adults have a hard time dealing with being a parent, a teen is hardly ready for this major step in life.
Straight Talk, Teens and Sex of Jacksonville is an organization that is designed to reduce the incidence of teen pregnancy and the spread of AIDS and other sexuality transmitted infections (STI’s).
The facts about youth and sexual activity:
- Most very young teens have not had intercourse: 8 in 10 girls and 7 in 10 boys are virgins at age 15.
- While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted.
- The younger women are when they first have intercourse, the more likely they are to have had unwanted or nonvoluntary first sex—7 in 10 of those who had sex before age 13, for example.
- The majority (61%) of young women’s first voluntary sexual partners are younger, the same age or no more than 2 years older; 27% are 3–4 years older and 12% are 5 or more years older.
Reference: Straight Talk
As summer is fast approaching, teens will be attending parties, sleep-overs, and just hanging out. Be sure they are educated on sex, relationships and contraceptives.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Related articles:
Teen Sex
Talking Teen Sex
Teen Moms
Teen Pregnancy
Sex in the City 2
Tags: Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Sex Education, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teens and Sex
Sue Scheff: Teen Moms Can Text For Help with Babies
by Sue Scheff on May 12, 2010
Text4baby has several partners and their media partner is MTV. Perfect match. Why? 16 and Pregnant, Teen Moms and Dr. Drew. Although most know that getting pregnant in your teens is not easy, these shows explore the reality of the hardships as Dr. Drew explains the emotional sides of why this is happening.
Text4baby is a free mobile information service designed to promote maternal and child health. An educational program of the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition (HMHB), text4baby provides pregnant women and new moms with information they need to take care of their health and give their babies the best possible start in life. – www.text4baby.org
How does Text4baby work?
Registration is easy and can be done online here or from your cell phone. Simply text the word BABY (or BEBE for Spanish) to 511411. You’ll be asked to enter your baby’s due date or your baby’s birthday and your zip code.
Once you are registered you will start receiving free messages with tips for your pregnancy and caring for your baby. These messages are timed to your due date or your baby’s birth date. If your due date changes, you can text UPDATE to 511411 and enter your new due date.
Although this is a great service and actually speaks a language teens understand, it is not a free pass to have a baby when you are not emotionally or financially ready. If you have watched these shows, you will see many of these teen moms, as much as they love their children, agree this can change your life in many ways.
Your teen years are no longer your own, your life is not about you and going out with your friends. Usually your friends have moved on and going to college. Although many teen moms can and will complete their High School or get a GED, many will conclude that is not easy.
Follow Text2Baby on Twitter!
Read more and watch video on how Text4Baby works.
Tags: Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff, Teen Moms, Teen Pregnancy
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