Sue Scheff: February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
by Sue Scheff on Feb 19, 2010
This month is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Since 2006 Congress has officially recognized the first week in February as “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week,” and this year, for the first time, Congress has designated the entire month as a time to raise awareness of this important issue!
You can do your part to raise awareness of teen dating violence and abuse this month by encouraging people to join the MADE (Moms And Dads for Education To Stop Teen Dating Abuse) movement! ANYONE can join the MADE coalition by visiting: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/made/petition.html
Parents need to open the lines of communication with their teens. Love is Not Abuse is an organization that provides information and tools that men, women, children, teens and corporate executives can use to learn more about the issue and find out how they can help end this epidemic of domestic violence.
Love is Not Abuse also offers a Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence. This can help you to start the conversation. Also visit Love is Respect for more valuable information.
During this month of February when love is in the air, take the time to show your love to your kids and sit down and talk about this serious subject. If you are a teacher, please take a few minutes to discuss this topic. You never know who is listening and what you may be preventing.
Happy Valentine’s Day and remember, it is not about “being mine” as it is about “being kind.”
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Tags: Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexual Abuse, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating, Teen Dating Abuse, teen dating violence, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Sexual Assault Awareness Week – Be An Educated Parent
by Sue Scheff on Feb 18, 2010
Sexual Assault Awareness Week: February 22-25, 2010
Sponsored by Georgia Southern University’s Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) and the Sexual Assault Prevention Advocates (SAPA)
Sadly this is a subject that all parents need to be aware of and their teens need to be educated on. Teen sexual abuse is not prejudice. Whether you believe in a very safe area, or go to an excellent school or college, learning about sexual assault and abuse is a difficult topic but necessary to learn about.
Joni Poole, currently 18 years old, is a survivor of a sexual assault and rape. She is a hero and a voice for those that are suffering silently. She testified against her rapist and put him away. Joni Poole created Sexual Abuse, Assault and Rape Awareness (S.A.A.R.A.) organization following her horrific experiences. She was also featured in my Teens That Inspire series.
Joni Poole has been invited to be the guest speaker for Sexual Assault Prevention Advocates on Thursday 7:30 pm, February 25th, 2009 at Russell Union Rotunda at Georgia Southern University. Learn more.
Some stunning statistics from S.A.A.R.A.:
General Information about Sexual Crime Victims
-1 out of 3 girls are victims or will become victims of a sexual crime before the age of 18.
-1 out of 5 boys are victims or will become victims of a sexual crime before the age of 18.
-80% of young adults who were abused as children, met the diagnostic criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder by age 21
-34% of Sexual Crimes involve a family member or caregiver.
-1.3 forcible rape of adult women every minute. (In America)
-78 women are rape every hour. (In America)
-1,871 women are raped every day. (In America)
Sexual Crime and The Legal System
-72% of Sexual Crimes go unreported.
-If the crime is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
-If there is an arrest, there is an 80% chance of a prosecution.
-If a case makes it to prosecution, there is only a 58% chance of a felony conviction.
-If there is a felony conviction, there is only a 69% chance that the offender will spend time in jail.
-1 out of 20 offenders spend time in jail
-19 out of 20 offenders will walk free
-68% of Rapes occur between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.
Not convince yet you need to learn more?
Sexually Abused Children and Crime Rate
-Abused children are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile
-Abused children are 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult
-Abused children are 30% more likely to commit a violent crime
-Over 14% of males in U.S. prisons were abused as children
-Over 36% of females in U.S. prisons were abused as children
See more shocking statistics here.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
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Tags: Joni Poole, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Teen Dating Abuse, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Time to Talk Day
by Sue Scheff on Dec 03, 2009
MADE (Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Dating Abuse) is a coalition bring about awareness and educate parents and teens about dating abuse.
Today is TIME TO TALK DAY.
Today, December 3rd is “It’s Time to Talk Day,” a day dedicated to ensuring that Americans speak-up about a subject that most people simply prefer not to discuss— domestic violence. Liz Claiborne Inc. has organized “It’s Time to Talk Day” each fall for the past six years to draw major national attention to the importance of talking about domestic violence, teen dating violence and intimate partner abuse.
We need YOU to ensure that everyone participates in “It’s Time to Talk Day” today. Talk about domestic violence and teen dating abuse this Thursday. Recruit new members for MADE and ensure all of your friends, family and colleagues know about “It’s Time to Talk Day,” MADE and the Love Is Not Abuse Campaign.
Post this logo on your Facebook and encourage people to visit www.loveisnotabuse.com to learn more!
Follow MADE on Twitter @MADECoalition
Tags: Dating Abuse, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating Abuse, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Self Esteem
Sue Scheff: Teen Dating Abuse and Violence
by Sue Scheff on Nov 02, 2009
With the recent gang rape of a 15 year-old girl in Richmond, California, our country is awakening to one of the ugliest forms of abuse to teens. Sexual abuse, assault and rape of teens are horrendous and more attention needs to be brought on this subject.
Teen dating violence and abuse is an issue parents need to be aware of and learn more about. Love is Not Abuse is an organization that was founded in 1991 by Liz Claiborne Inc. Everyone needs to take the time to be an educated parent; you will have a safer teen.
Love is Not Abuse posted an informational letter from an expert on Teen Dating Abuse. Please learn more now and explore their website for more resources.
A Letter to Parents on Teen Dating Abuse from Pediatrician and Expert, Dr. Elizabeth Miller
Dear Parents/Guardians/Educators,
As a physician who specializes in care for adolescents, a researcher on teen dating abuse, and a parent of a teen, I am often asked by other parents to talk about the warning signs of dating abuse, what parents should be looking for, and how they can help their child navigate out of an unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers to these questions.
A Common Characteristic
A common characteristic of unhealthy and abusive relationships is the control that the abusive partner seeks to maintain in the relationship. This includes telling someone what to wear, where they can go, who they can hang out with, calling them names, humiliating them in front of others. Over time, the isolation from one’s social network increases, as the abuser insists on spending time “just the two of us,” and threatens to leave or cause harm if things do not go the way they want, “You must not love me.”
Creating this isolation and dissolution of one’s social supports (loss of friends, disconnectedness from family) are hallmarks of controlling behaviors. In addition, abusers often monitor cell phones and emails, and for example, may threaten harm if the response to a text message is not instant.
Parents are rarely aware of such controlling tactics as these occur insidiously over time, and an adolescent may themselves not recognize the controlling, possessive behaviors as unhealthy. “They must love me because they just want to spend time with me.”
Warning Signs
While the following non-specific warning signs could indicate other concerning things such as depression or drug use, these should also raise a red flag for parents and adult caregivers about the possibility of an unhealthy relationship:
•no longer hanging out with his/her circle of friends
•wearing the same clothing
•distracted when spoken to
•constantly checking cell phone, gets extremely upset
when asked to turn phone off
•withdrawn, quieter than usual
•angry, irritable when asked how they are doing
•making excuses for their boyfriend/girlfriend
•showering immediately after getting home
•unexplained scratches or bruises
Sexual coercion and violence are also not uncommon in teen dating abuse. Again, because of the emotional abuse and control, victims of sexual violence may be convinced that they are to blame for what has happened. “You’d do this if you loved me” or “If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll leave you” are common examples of sexual coercion. In some instances, girls in abusive relationships describe how their partners actively tried to get them pregnant. Rarely do teens disclose such sexual abuse to their parents as they may feel shameful, guilty, and scared. Parents need to be aware of the possibility of sexual abuse, and to ensure that they communicate with their child that they are never to blame if someone tries to make them do things sexually that they don’t want to do. And certainly, that no one ever has the right to put their hands on them, period. The physical and sexual violence can escalate quickly in these unhealthy relationships where the abusive partner has significant control over the other.
Advice for Parents
Perhaps the best advice for parents is to start talking about what constitutes a healthy, respectful relationship early on with your child. Sharing the warning signs of teen dating abuse with your child and saying, “If you know someone who’s experiencing something like this, let’s talk about it, let’s talk about how you can be a good friend and help them stay safe.” Please assure your child that they are not to blame for an unhealthy relationship, and that you are available to help them be safe and happy. Please avail yourself of the many good resources available on teen dating abuse for youth and adults.
For more information on teen dating violence and abuse: Stop It Now, MADE Coalition, Love is Respect, S.A.A.R.A., Rachel Simmons (Huffington Post).
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Tags: Gang Rape, Love is not abuse, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Peer Pressure, Sue Scheff, Teen Dating Abuse, teen dating violence, Teen Depression, Teen Help
