Sue Scheff: Straight Talk – Teens and Sex, The Real Truth
by Sue Scheff on May 30, 2010
With today’s ever expanding Internet and television shows such as 16 and Pregnant, the vast amount of materials that are available to teens today about sex education is tremendous. There are no excuses for teen pregnancies. The availability of contraceptives as well as the many resources that are open to teens should help prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Sadly, there are some teens that see having a baby as a tool to keeping a boyfriend or even a way to have someone love them unconditionally. Without thinking of the consequences, teenagers are not always mature enough to see the full picture of parenthood. It is not playing house, and it is not a baby doll; Having a baby is a full time job and a massive responsibility. Some adults have a hard time dealing with being a parent, a teen is hardly ready for this major step in life.
Straight Talk, Teens and Sex of Jacksonville is an organization that is designed to reduce the incidence of teen pregnancy and the spread of AIDS and other sexuality transmitted infections (STI’s).
The facts about youth and sexual activity:
- Most very young teens have not had intercourse: 8 in 10 girls and 7 in 10 boys are virgins at age 15.
- While 93% of teenage women report that their first intercourse was voluntary, one-quarter of these young women report that it was unwanted.
- The younger women are when they first have intercourse, the more likely they are to have had unwanted or nonvoluntary first sex—7 in 10 of those who had sex before age 13, for example.
- The majority (61%) of young women’s first voluntary sexual partners are younger, the same age or no more than 2 years older; 27% are 3–4 years older and 12% are 5 or more years older.
Reference: Straight Talk
As summer is fast approaching, teens will be attending parties, sleep-overs, and just hanging out. Be sure they are educated on sex, relationships and contraceptives.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Related articles:
Teen Sex
Talking Teen Sex
Teen Moms
Teen Pregnancy
Sex in the City 2
Tags: Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, Straight Talk, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Sex Talk, Teens and Sex
Sue Scheff: Teen’s – It’s Your Sex Life – Know the Risks, Be Smart About Your Choices
by Sue Scheff on Apr 21, 2010
Yikes, this is one of the most difficult and sensitive subjects parents dread to talk to their kids about, but it is also just as critical.
Whether you believe your teen is having sex or not, the conversation is important. Your teen will rely on his/her peers to help educate them if you don’t.
MTV’s – “It’s Your Sex Life” helps teach your teens about safe sex, protection, if you are ready for this big step, as well as the risks of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD). In Broward County, there are places your teens can get tested for STD’s. If you are not in Florida, find your local center, click here.
If you are a teenager, don’t wait for your partner or your health care provider to start the conversation, take charge. After all, this Is YOUR (Sex) Life. By talking about sex (that includes what you feel ready, or not, to do) you are showing that you care about yourself and your partner, and that your are in control.
It’s YOUR (Sex) Life and that means you decide when you are ready-and when to wait to have sex. But you have to communicate how you are feeling to your partner. Otherwise how can they know what you are thinking? Check out these tips to help you talk with your partner about waiting to have sex.
Protect yourself! Everyone knows about protection, but how many think that it can’t happen to them? They are immune to STD’s, they can’t get pregnant that one time, etc. Stop, think twice – it can happen and will happen if you don’t take steps to protect yourself.
Yes, it is your teens’ sex life, but it is still your child. Open the door of communication, talk to your teens. Read websites such as It’s Your Sex Life for resources and information to help educate yourself and today’s teens.
It’s Your (Sex) Life, an ongoing partnership of MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation to help young people make responsible decisions about their sexual health, is working with Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and other partners nationwide to bring you the GYT: Get Yourself Tested campaign and Get Yourself Talking.
In South Florida Planned Parenthood goal is to ensure that every individual has the information, services, and freedom to make healthy, responsible decisions about sex, sexuality, and parenthood. They also are part of GTY: Get Yourself Tested and Get Yourself Talking - print your coupon here.
Being an educated parent can help you to have safer and healthier teens.
Tags: Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues, Teen Sex Education
Sue Scheff: Teens and Sex – Boys Like to Exaggerate a Bit
by Sue Scheff on Mar 25, 2010
O-kay, let’s face it, teens are very well versed in sex education – far more than generations prior. However the bragging rights seem to continue. According to the CDC, an estimated 48% had sexual intercourse before graduating from high school. Nearly two-thirds of teens that have had sexual intercourse say they regret it and wish they had waited, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Connect with Kids just posted an interesting article about boy and their boasting about their sexual encounters.
Boys Brag about Sex
Source: Connect with Kids
“Some guys are really stupid and all they want is to have sex and, yeah, they brag about everywhere.”
– Stephanie, 16 years old
Teenage boys like to talk about it and, sometimes, they exaggerate.
“All they talk about is sex,” 17 year old Tyler says. “You go walking down the hallway…sex, sex, sex. ‘Hey I had sex with her, I had sex with him.’”
In a new Seventeen magazine survey of boys and young men, almost half said they were virgins and one in four said he had lied to other kids about not being a virgin. According to the survey of 1,200 boys and young men, age 15 to 22, 60 percent said they lied about something sexual, 30 percent lied about “how far they had gone,” and 78 percent said that there was too much pressure from society to have sex.
17 year old Brad confirms that “guys brag all the time. I mean I’ve met one guy who hasn’t bragged about it. ”
Still there are some boys, like 17 year old Jesse, who are willing to say ‘no’ even when pressured by a girl.
“I was just astonished and I was like, ‘no’ because I like know this girl, she was my friend, but she wasn’t someone I wanted to do that stuff with. She wasn’t the right person for me to lose my virginity with.”
Daniel Jean-Baptiste, a health educator, says he has seen a change in the attitude of young men. “The attitude is starting to become, ‘I don’t really care if my buddies are talking about it and this person is bragging about it. It’s not really a big deal, because you can get STDs. Or you can get someone pregnant.”
Many experts argue that in our culture, boys are pressured to have sex, or at least say they have, but that it’s up to parents to talk about the seriousness of sex… and the risks.
“A young person is never too young to talk about HIV, to talk about STDs, to talk about puberty,” Jean-Baptiste says. “And I think that if parents start to talk to their young people before they reach puberty… you’ve really seasoned them, so that in the future years… you’ll be more comfortable and they’ll be more comfortable talking to you.”
They will be more comfortable, as he says, and there is a good chance they will listen.
“Kids, they might not say they listen to their parents but deep down inside, there’s always… their parents are their little voice… anything a parent says usually does get taken to heart,” says 18 year old Jesse.
Related Information
It’s not uncommon to see statistics showing that girls face a great deal of pressure to have sex at an early age. But a new survey from the Kaiser Family Foundation shows that girls are not alone. Researchers found that one in three teen boys reported feeling peer pressure to have sex – often from male friends. In fact, the survey findings showed that boys were more likely than girls to feel pressure and more likely to believe that waiting to have sex is a myth.
How prevalent is sexual behavior among teens? The most recent numbers come from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey of high school students from 34 states:
- An estimated 48% had sexual intercourse before graduating from high school.
- Approximately 15% had sexual intercourse with four or more partners before graduating from high school.
- Nearly 62% of currently sexually active students used a condom during last sexual intercourse.
- Approximately 90% of the students said they had been taught about AIDS and HIV infection in school.
Tips for Parents
Nearly two-thirds of teens that have had sexual intercourse say they regret it and wish they had waited, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. The campaign also found that when it comes to making a decision about sex, 30% said that friends influenced their decision the most.
As a parent, how can you help your child make an informed decision about sex? It is first important to openly discuss sexual health with your child. Although it may be tough and awkward at times, open communication and accurate information that comes from you – the parent – increases the chance that your teen will postpone sex or use appropriate methods of birth control once he or she begins. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers the following advice when talking to your child about sex:
- Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.
- Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.
- Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
- Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.
- Keep your sense of humor, and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
- Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.
- Be open in sharing your values and concerns.
- Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.
- Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.
Your teen may be feeling pressure to have sex from a number of places – friends, peers or partners. As a parent, it is important that you give your child the necessary tools to make a decision about sex before peer pressure makes the decision for him or her. The American Social Health Association (ASHA) offers the following advice about sex and peer pressure to share with your teen:
- Not every person your age is having sex. Even if sometimes it feels like everyone is “doing it,” it is important to realize that this is not true. People often talk about sex in a casual manner, but this doesn’t mean they are actually having sex.
- Hollywood doesn’t show the full story. Sexual situations are everywhere in our culture. They are on television, in movies and even in commercials and magazines. This is part of the reason why we enjoy these things so much. Just remember: Characters in these movies, television shows and advertisements are actors and actresses. They can’t get unwanted pregnancies and STDs. You can.
- There are lots of great reasons why people wait to have sex. You may be making plans to go to college or to start a job after you finish high school. Would a baby in your life make it easier or tougher for you to do the things you’ve dreamed about? Wanting to avoid STDs is another reason that some people are very cautious about becoming sexually active.
You can continue to help your teen avoid peer pressure to have sex by teaching him or her the following strategies from the ASHA:
- Hang out with friends who also believe that it’s okay to not be ready for sex yet.
- Date several people and hang out with different groups of people.
- Go out with a group of friends rather than only your date.
- Introduce your friends to your parents.
- Invite your friends to your home.
- Always carry money for a telephone call or cab in case you feel uncomfortable.
- Stick up for your friends if they are being pressured to have sex.
- Think of what you would say in advance in case someone tries to pressure you.
- Be ready to call your mother, father or a friend to pick you up if you need to leave a date.
- Never feel obligated to “pay someone back” with sex in return for an expensive date or gift.
- Say “no” and mean “no” if that’s how you feel.
References
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
- American Social Health Association
- Kaiser Family Foundation
- National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
- Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (CDC)
Tags: At Risk Teens, Connect with Kids, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Sex
Sue Scheff: National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: Free publications promote awareness
by Sue Scheff on Mar 05, 2010
Parenting involves many more challenges and issues today than generations earlier. While years ago our parents concerns were with a teen getting pregnant or a form of STD such as Herpes, today there are many more serious concerns that both women and girls need to be aware of. This doesn’t mean these issues didn’t exist years ago, however it does mean we have come further in our education of knowledge and awareness.
March 10th is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD). This a nationwide initiative, coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health to raise awareness of the increasing impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls. Read more about NWGHAAD.
When women are faced with HIV/AIDS, their physical health is not the only issue at hand. Often accompanying the physical illness associated with the virus are mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety.
The Office on Women’s Health has two publications-one for health professionals and one for consumers-that focus on building positive awareness about women’s mental health. They address environmental and cultural barriers to seeking help and suggest gender-appropriate strategies for recovery.
Order your free mental health publications for women today! Click here.
Be an educated parent, you will have healthier teens!
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: AIDS, HIV, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, STD, Sue Scheff, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Sex
Sue Scheff: Talking SEX with your Tweens and Teens
by Sue Scheff on Jan 07, 2010
The dreaded birds and the bees talk can still today make many parents uncomfortable. However more today than any generation prior, it is imperative the talk is not only a priority, it is appropriately addressed without instilling fear and giving as much honest information as possible.
How to Talk About Sex to Your Teen
There are many things that parents are willing to do for their kids, but when it comes to educating them and talking to them about sex, they’re very, very reluctant to do so. Perhaps they’re still unwilling to accept the fact that their babies are growing up and fast becoming adults, or perhaps they’re just too embarrassed to talk about this subject with their children. But there comes a time in your child’s life when he/she will learn about the birds and the bees, and it’s best that you be the one to tell them about the natural attraction between the sexes and the sexual act itself. So if you’re wondering how to break the ice on this topic which is most often taboo in most homes, here’s how you can talk to your teen about sex:
- Be your child’s friend: The process starts early, as soon as your child is able to understand the vagaries of life. You must be friends with your son or daughter if you want them to listen to what you have to say about sex when the time comes for this talk. If you’re aloof with them and behave like typical parents, they’re not going to be receptive to your little talk. So be your child’s friend rather than a judgmental parent so that this talk about sex becomes that much easier when the time comes.
- Start early: Don’t wait till your child hits puberty to talk to them about menstruation and other aspects of adulthood. Their bodies begin to change much before they hit puberty, so spend more time with them as they enter their tween and teen years. Educate them about the bodily changes they can expect and teach your daughter and son how to handle puberty. While girls have to be aware of their monthly periods, boys are usually guilty about wet dreams and masturbation. If they don’t know the facts, they could become mentally disturbed by the changes they are going through.
- Don’t just educate them, talk to them: It’s not enough to just use a book or an educational video to teach your tween or teen about the basics of sex. They probably already know what goes where and how people do it; what they don’t know and what you should tell them is the consequences their sexual actions will have, not just on them but on the others who are affected too. Teach them to make the right choices and to be aware of their actions. And even though you don’t want them to have sex right away, educate them about contraception to avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
- Encourage them to come to you with any problem: If you teach your child that sex is taboo and to be avoided at all costs till they get married, you’re never going to know if he or she gets into trouble because they’re going to be afraid of your reaction if they tell you. And if you even suggest that it’s ok to experiment and be sexually promiscuous, you’re going to have trouble of a different kind. There’s a thin line between these two opposing views that you must tread, one that encourages them to exercise caution, and yet, one that also tells them that they can come to you with any problem that they might have relating to sex or relationships. When you are open with your child, you know they’re safe no matter what they do.
By-line: This post is written by Susan White, who writes on the topic of Radiologist Technician Schools . She welcomes your comments at her email id: susan.white33@gmail.com.
Learn more about teenage pregnancy. Click here.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier tweens and teens!
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Tags: Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, Sue Scheff, Teen Health, Teen Sex Talk
Sue Scheff: Epidemic in STD’s (With Teens)
by Sue Scheff on Jul 16, 2009
Summer is still here – and school is around the corner, take the time to open up lines of communication with your kids NOW. Don’t be a parent in denial – be a proactive parent!
Source: Connect with Kids
“I think that parents are in denial.”
– Wanda Wong, a school nurse and coordinator for county health services
Columbia University’s School of Public Health has some bad news about teen sex: after a decade of decline, today more teenagers are having sex. And fewer kids are using protection.
Many teens know about STDs because they know people who have had them.
“I had a friend, and she got crabs, and every day, at school, they would itch,” 16-year-old Krystal says.
“I had a friend one time … she got gonorrhea by having oral sex,” says Nadia, 17.
“My friend, she had syphilis,” 17-year-old Marcus says.
According to researchers at Columbia University, more teens are having sex and fewer are using protection. And that puts them at risk for pregnancy and STD’s. In fact, nearly 19 million new sexually transmitted infections are reported by the CDC each year, half in young people between the ages of 15 and 24.
“I think that parents are in denial, and I think that students don’t realize it’s such a huge risk,” says Wanda Wong, a school nurse and coordinator for county health services.
Parents can explain the risk, Wong says, but scaring them with numbers isn’t enough. “What they know as a statistic is not necessarily what changes their lifestyle or their behaviors,” she says.
Instead, what Wong advises parents to do isn’t easy: Lecture a little bit less and serve a little more as an honest, respectful sounding board in conversations with their kids. “So that when kids begin to explore their own identities and … think about delving into risky behaviors, they will know that there’s someone in their family that they can talk to and maybe discuss that before they do that,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Teens are very concerned about possible infection with the HIV virus, and desperately want to know more about ways to prevent the disease. Parents can be an invaluable source of information about HIV/AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases in general. Unfortunately, some parents still do not feel comfortable discussing issues associated with sex and sexual intercourse with their children. Given the deadly nature of this particular disease, it is imperative that parents find a way that is comfortable for them to discuss this subject with their children and teens.
What adolescents need to know in order to make decisions that will protect them from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases is typically more extensive and detailed than what most younger children need to know. For example, because HIV is spread through unprotected sexual intercourse or sharing drug needles and syringes, teens need to learn about abstinence and, depending on the family’s values, about sex, condoms, drug use, hygiene, etc. Because alcohol and drugs can cloud thinking, teens need to learn that using these substances can cause them to make decisions that can put them at risk.
Teens also must learn to distinguish myths from facts about HIV infection and AIDS. They need to learn about the issues that the disease poses for society, such as the importance of opposing prejudice and discrimination. Discussing all of these things will help equip teens to make decisions that can prevent the spread of HIV infection and AIDS.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, parents initiating a conversation with their teen about HIV and AIDS might consider including the following points in that conversation:
- Provide the adolescent with a definition of AIDS. For example, explain that AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. It is a condition in which the body’s immune system breaks down. Because the immune system fails, a person with AIDS typically develops a variety of life-threatening illnesses that almost always prove fatal.
- Give a definition of HIV infection. The adolescent needs to understand that AIDS is caused by a virus that scientists call human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV. Once a person is infected, he or she can infect others, even if no symptoms are present. The fact that other STD’s share this characteristic provides an excellent opportunity to expand the conversation to include other sexually transmitted diseases should the opportunity feel right. Point out that a special blood test can detect HIV.
- Explain how HIV is transmitted from one person to another. The adolescent needs to clearly understand that there are two primary ways that people become infected with HIV:
- by engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal, or oral) with an infected person; or
- by sharing drug needles or syringes with an infected person.
- A parent might want to point out that women who are infected with HIV can pass it on to their babies during pregnancy, birth, or breast-feeding. The fact that some people have become infected through receiving blood transfusions might also be pointed out. Although these cases are rare, the fact that a parent knows about them and mentions them can only add to their credibility in discussing such an important subject.
- Explain how to reduce the risk for HIV infection from sex. The easiest way to avoid getting HIV from sex is to not have sex. Abstinence is the only sure protection. This may seem simplistic in the face of the significant rates of sexual activity reported by teens in today’s society. However, it does provide an opening to discuss some of the values that your family stands for in regard to premarital sex. Reinforce the fact that if the adolescent does chose to have sexual intercourse, they should not feel ashamed to wait until they are in a long-term, mutually faithful relationship, such as marriage, with an uninfected partner.
- Remind them of some of the realistic values of choosing not to have intercourse including:
- Virtually guaranteeing their safety from all sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV infection. Point out that approximately every 11 seconds a teen in the U.S. gets a sexually transmitted disease.
- Providing the teen with additional time to be sure they are physically and emotionally ready to engage in a sexual relationship.
- Providing them with more time to learn and understand more about the physical and emotional aspects of sexual relationships.
- Avoiding unwanted pregnancy. Some sources report that approximately every 30 seconds a teen in the U.S. gets pregnant.
- If a teen makes the decision to engage in sexual intercourse outside of a mutually faithful, long-term relationship with an uninfected partner, it is imperative that they use a latex condom whenever having any type of sexual intercourse. Remind them that any partner who would refuse to use a condom is putting them at risk for catching diseases that may be fatal, incurable, or both. Considering this fact might just help the teen to battle against feeling pressured to participate in sexual activity about which he or she is unsure.
- Tell the teen straight away that there are no circumstances under which they can assume it is safe to have sexual intercourse with people who may be infected with HIV. This includes people who have:
- injected drugs
- had multiple or anonymous sex partners
- had any sexually transmitted disease
- The adolescent also needs to know that there is no way to tell, short of a blood test, whether a person is infected with HIV. They have to assume that every potential sexual partner may have been exposed to or infected with the HIV virus.
- Finally, reinforce the critical importance of avoiding making decisions about sexual intercourse while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. These substances can cloud their judgment and cause them to take risks that put them in danger of becoming infected with HIV.
References
- Kaiser Family Foundation
- Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
- Bradley Hasbro Research Center
Tags: Connect with Kids, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Sex, Teen STD's
Sue Scheff: Teens Complacent about AIDS
by Sue Scheff on Jun 25, 2009
Source: Connect with Kids
“We understand [AIDS], but it’s just more of they don’t care, it won’t affect me, personality.”
– Seth, 16 years old
Ask the average teen what he or she knows about AIDS, and they usually know the basic facts.
“It’s a sexually transmitted disease, and you can die from it,” says 15-year-old Britney.
Leslie, 14, says, “A lot of people are infected every day, and you get it by not being safe.”
“They know a good deal from sex education and stuff. They know it’s dangerous and that it has the possibility of being lethal,” says 16-year-old John.
“Yeah, it’ll kill you,” echoes Seth, also 16. “You don’t want to get it. It’s definitely a bad thing.”
Many young people certainly know the risks and understand the dangers of HIV and AIDS. So why do teens continue to take chances with their health?
“Teens take chances, but that’s just more of the feeling of being invincible and being young,” Seth says. “We understand it, but it’s just more of they don’t care, it won’t affect me, type of personality.”
“You don’t even think about it even though you hear about it every day,” says 16-year-old Peter. ”You don’t really think about it unless it hits home.”
Health experts are taking note of this ambivalence and are trying to zero in on the 13-25 age group, which is the fastest growing population of new HIV infections.
“There’s a lot of work to be done,” says Kay Scott, president of Planned Parenthood of Georgia. “What we know works is comprehensive sex education, connection to school, church and other community groups and really strong support from parents.”
Scott says parents should consistently talk to their children about their values and beliefs, risks and responsibility. But more than anything, Scott says, they should find a way to show their kids that AIDS is real.
“One of the most powerful tools that I’ve seen used is having people with HIV and AIDS talk to young people about what their risks were and how they were in denial and just didn’t think it would happen,” Scott says.
Teenagers agree that the message strikes a chord.
“Knowing someone close that has experienced it or has contracted it – that’s very eye-opening,” Peter says.
Tips for Parents
Recent reports show that nearly half of high school students are or have been sexually active. Unfortunately, with sexual activity comes an increase in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). That’s why it is extremely important to talk to your kids about being sexually responsible – before they engage in sex. Consider the following statistics provided by The Alan Guttmacher Institute:
- Every year three million sexually active teens – about one-in-four – acquire an STD.
- A single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner puts a teenage woman at a one percent risk of acquiring HIV, a 30 percent risk of getting genital herpes, and a 50 percent chance of contracting gonorrhea.
- Chlamydia is more common among teens than among older men and women. In some testing situations, 10 to 29 percent of sexually active teenage women and 10 percent of teenage men were found to have Chlamydia.
- Teens have higher rates of gonorrhea than sexually active men and women aged 20 to 44.
Talking to your child about sex and sexually transmitted diseases may not be something you look forward to, but it could be the most important step in protecting your child from risky sexual behavior. Studies show that teenagers who feel highly connected to their parents are far more likely to delay sexual activity than their peers. Before approaching this sensitive topic, consider the following tips developed by Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
- Start early – Research shows that younger children seek their parent’s advice more than adolescents, who tend to depend more on their friends and the media. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk with your young children about sexual health. Discussing dating, relationships, STDs and HIV can make a lasting impression. And it gives you a chance to provide your children with accurate information that reflects your personal values and principles. The quality of parent-child relationships has an important influence on adolescents’ sexual behaviors.
- Initiate conversations with your child – Don’t wait for your children to ask you about sex, HIV or STDs. Although you can hope that your children come to you with their questions and concerns, it may not happen. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues related sexual health. For example, news stories, music, television shows or movies are great starters for bringing up health topics. If your family is watching a television show where the teenagers are promiscuous or a teen is pregnant, ask your kids what they thought of the program when it’s over. Ask if they agree with the behavior or decisions of the teenagers in the show. Just a few questions can start a valuable conversation.
- Talk WITH your child, not AT your child – Make sure you listen to your children the way you want your children to listen to you. Try to ask questions that will encourage them to share specific information about feelings, decisions and actions. Try to understand exactly what your kids are saying. It is important for your kids to feel that they have been heard. Try not to be judgmental. Let your kids know that you value their opinions, even when they differ from your own.
- Create an open environment – Research shows that kids who feel their parents speak openly about sex and listen to them carefully are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, compared to teenagers who do not feel they can talk with their parents about sex. Adolescents who report a sense of connection to their parents, family and school, and who have a higher grade point average, are more likely than other teens to wait to engage in intercourse. Teens who report previous discussions of sexuality with parents are seven times more likely to feel able to communicate with a partner about HIV/AIDS than those who have not had such discussions. An open family environment not only reduces sexual risk-taking behaviors, it also gives teenagers a safe place to ask questions and get accurate information. As parents, be available, honest and attentive. Praise your children for coming to you to talk about sex, which will teach them that you are always available for information or advice.
- Be prepared and practice – It isn’t necessarily easy to talk about sex with your kids. In fact, it can be extremely difficult for some parents. Don’t be afraid to practice. You can practice in front of a mirror, with your spouse or partner, or with friends. Your ability to speak comfortably about sexual health will make your children more comfortable asking questions and discussing sensitive issues.
- Be honest: It’s okay to say, “I don’t know” – When your children trust and value your opinion, they will be more likely to come to you with their questions and concerns. It’s also important to know that you do not need to be a sexual health expert. It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers to all of your children’s questions. It’s okay and honest to say, “I don’t know.” In fact, if you don’t know the answer to a question, you can search for the correct information together.
- Communicate your values – In addition to talking to your children about the biological facts of sex, it’s important that they also learn that sexual relationships involve emotions, caring and responsibility. Parents need to share their values and principles about sex. Although your children may not adopt these values as their own, they are an important source of information as your children develop their own set of values about sexuality.
References
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
- U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
- Campaign for our Children, Inc
Tags: AIDS, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, STD's, Sue Scheff, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Sex Education
Sue Scheff: HIV Testing for Teens
by Sue Scheff on Jan 15, 2009
Years ago, one of our biggest fears with pre-marital sex, was getting pregnant! Today we still have that fear, but what is more concerning is the STD’s! They can be death sentences in some cases. Parents need to take the time to educate our teens today of the consequences of unprotected sex. None of us like the idea of our teens having sex so young, but we need to face the reality if they do, they need to be protected.
Source: Connect with Kids
“Our evidence is that when people find out they’re infected with HIV, they cut down their risky behavior by more than two-thirds.”
– Bernard Branson, M.D., Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Does your 13-year-old need an HIV test?
“No, because she’s not sexually active,” says father Mark Alterio, “So I wouldn’t have her screened.”
“I’m a proponent of being more informed,” says mother Ingrid Emmons, “and I feel like if you’re more informed then we can get you the help that you need. So I’d rather know than not know.”
The American College of Physicians is now backing the Center for Disease Control’s recommendations to have everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 tested for HIV.
But why start so young?
“Our information, first of all, from recent surveys suggests that about 47-percent of teenagers, high school students, are sexually active,” says Dr. Bernard Branson, with the CDC’s division of HIV/AIDS Prevention.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, 250-thousand Americans have HIV and don’t know it.
Experts say expanded testing could stop thousands from spreading the virus.
“Our evidence is that when people find out they’re infected with HIV,” says Dr. Branson, “they cut down their risky behavior by more than two-thirds.”
Experts estimate testing will reduce the number of new HIV cases from around 40-thousand to 17-thousand a year.
Screening could especially benefit teenagers.
“Our recommendation is to make this something that’s routine,” says Dr. Branson, “so that it doesn’t cause an adolescent in particular to have to admit something they might prefer not to, in order to get HIV-tested.”
In other words, if it’s not routine, some kids won’t ask to get tested – because it means admitting they were sexually active.
Some parents agree.
“Kids are always hiding something,” says mother Melanie Zentner, “especially in the teenaged years, even if you’re close. So I’d like to know, so you can take care of it right away. That would be my opinion.”
HIV tests cost between eight and 20 dollars each. If there is a positive result, more testing is done to confirm the results.
Tips for Parents
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2006, 15 percent of persons diagnosed with HIV/AIDS were 13 to 24. Twenty-six percent were aged 25-34. The typical delay between the exposure to HIV infection and the onset of AIDS means that most of these young adults were infected as teens. There is a growing concern among U.S. health organizations about complacency – referred to as “safe-sex fatigue” – among young people toward HIV infection and AIDS. However, statistics show there is no reason for teens to be complacent about AIDS.
The Kaiser Family FoundationSexual Health of Adolescents and Young Adults in the United States 2008 report finds the following statistics about HIV, AIDS and teens:
- The CDC estimates that almost 46,000 young people, ages 13 to 24, were living with HIV in the U.S in 2006. Women comprised 28% of these HIV/AIDS cases among 13- to 24-year-olds.
- African-American young adults are disproportionately affected by HIV infection, accounting for 60% of HIV/AIDS diagnoses in 13- to 24-year-olds in 2006.
- More HIV infections occurred among adolescents and young adults 13–29 years old (34%) of new HIV infections than any other age group. Most young people with HIV/AIDS were infected by sexual transmission.
- In 2006, 16% of young adults ages 18 to 24 reported that they had been tested for HIV in the past 12 months.
The Kaiser study also shows that over the past decade teens have become smarter about sex:
- Nearly half (48%) of all high school students in 2007 reported ever having had sexual intercourse, a decline from 54% in 1991. Males (50%) are slightly more likely than females (46%) to report having had sex. The median age at first intercourse is 16.9 years for boys and 17.4 years for girls.
- In 2007, among the 35% of currently sexually active high school students, 62% reported using a condom the last time they had sexual intercourse, up from 57% in 1997.1 African-American students (67%) were more likely to report using condoms compared to White (60%) and Hispanic (61%) students. Males (69%) were more like to report condom use than females (55%).
- Using a dual method of a condom and hormonal contraceptive is becoming more prevalent for teenage females. The percentage of currently sexually active never-married females 15–19 years of age reporting use of dual methods rose from 8% in 1995 to 20% in 2002.
Sexually active teens need information, skills and support to protect themselves from HIV and AIDS. The American Association for World Health (AAWH) says parents communicating in a positive way about sexuality and risky behaviors can have a “profound influence” in helping young people make healthy decisions. Talking to your teen about AIDS can often be difficult and uncomfortable because it requires talking about issues like sex and drugs. The AAWH suggests the following tips when talking to your teen about HIV and AIDS:
- AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. It is a serious and fatal disease of the human immune system and is caused by a virus called human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). A person will not develop AIDS unless he or she has first been infected with HIV.
- HIV can be spread through oral, anal or vaginal sexual activity. The sexual transmission can be from male to female, from male to male, from female to male or from female to female. HIV may be in an infected person’s blood, semen, vaginal secretions or breast milk. It can enter the body through cuts or sores on tissue in the vagina, penis, rectum and sometimes the mouth. The cuts may be so small that you don’t know they’re there.
- You can become infected with HIV from even one instance of unprotected sex. While complete abstinence is the surest way to prevent the sexual transmission of HIV, protecting yourself with a latex condom or barrier at every sexual encounter is very important.
- Most birth control methods like the pill or diaphragms don’t protect you from HIV.
- Whether you inject drugs or steroids or use needles for tattoos or body piercing, sharing needles places you at risk for becoming infected with HIV.
- Using drugs of any kind, including alcohol or inhalants, can cloud your judgment. You could become less careful about having sex or injecting drugs – behaviors that place you at risk for HIV.
References
- American Association for World Health
- American College of Physicians
- Centers for Disease Control
- The Kaiser Family Foundation
Tags: Connect with Kids, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sex Education, STD's, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Sex, Teen Sex Education
