Family Conflict: 10 Signs a Parent is Upset with their Teenager
by Sue Scheff on Jan 24, 2012
Raising teens today can be contentious and get your blood pressure boiling. The lack of respect towards parents and most authority is very disturbing in today’s society. I often say the sense of entitlement issue can be a large cause of today’s defiant teens. Either way, parents are struggling with kids that are literally holding parents hostage in their own homes.
Here is a great guest post by Barbara Williams:
Working as a nanny can be a rewarding and fulfilling job for people who love children. However, getting along with the parents can sometimes be a challenge. The important thing to remember is, no matter how much you love the children, the parents are the boss. You need to make sure they are happy with your work because the parents are ones signing your paychecks. It might not always be obvious that you’re doing something to displease them, so here are 10 signs a parent is upset with you.
- Not speaking – Some parents aren’t good at communicating their displeasure so they’ll give you the silent treatment. Instead of a light banter at the end of the day they’ll only answer direct questions with short terse statements. If this starts happening you better find out if you did something wrong or if they’re just having a bad day.
- Exasperated sighs – Another unspoken sign a parent is upset with you is the exasperated sigh. Nannies who hear this better be on their toes. You should probably find out what the parent is unhappy about.
- Facial expressions – It’s important for nannies to be able to read the parent’s facial expressions. A furrowed brow or tenseness around the mouth could be a sign you did something wrong.
- Schedule a talk – When parents tell you they want to schedule a little talk, you may be in trouble. They may say something about having to go over a few things or the need to reevaluate your duties. Uh-oh!
- Send you home early – Another sign you made them unhappy is when they send you home early for no apparent reason. This could mean they are so upset they don’t even want to have you around.
- Day off for no reason – Getting an unscheduled day off could seem like a good thing at first, but you might want to beware. This could mean the parents are reevaluating your position. They may even be scheduling interviews with other potential nannies.
- Unreasonable demands – Some parents will do just the opposite and start making unreasonable demands when they’re upset with you. This could be their way of punishing you for whatever misdeeds you’ve done.
- Exaggerated niceness – Some parents will express their displeasure by treating you with exaggerated niceness. This forced and fake kindness that is dripping with sarcasm is a clear sign they’re upset.
- Kids tell you – Of course kids don’t have filters on their expressions like adults do, so they are more likely to tell you when their parents are upset and why. Nannies can often rely on the children to let something slip if there’s a problem the parents won’t tell them about.
- They tell you – Of course the best way to find out a parent is upset with you is for them to tell you. It’s much better for them to let you know right away if you’re doing something they don’t like so you can rectify the situation.
Everyone handles conflict differently and some people are very uncomfortable with confrontations. They’ll do anything to avoid unpleasantness. The best thing to do is have good communication between both the parents and the nannies. It’s not good to let problems fester when they can re resolved quickly and amicably. Nannies should watch for these signs that the parents are upset and work hard to resolve the situation.
Source: Find a Babysitter
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Tags: At Risk Teens, Defiant Teens, Disrespectful Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Problem Teens, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens, Wits End
Teen Runaways: When Your Teen Doesn’t Want to Be Part of Your Family
by Sue Scheff on Nov 29, 2011
Holidays can be a time of joy and a time of turbulence in some households. Is your teen starting to become withdrawn? Hanging with a different group of friends? Do you suspect he/she is using drugs or drinking? Are they leaving your home and not coming home? Do they think they know it all?
Unfortunately some parents experience this type of teen behavior and it can escalate during the holidays when they have more free time.
The authorities all but tell you (or they do tell you) “typical teen” they will show up eventually. In the meantime you are a nervous wreck.
What do you do? Here are some quick tips for you:
- Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child.
- Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers including all information about your teen and where they were last seen. Post these flyers everywhere your teen hangs out, as well as anywhere else teenagers in general hang out. Post anywhere they will allow you to.
- Immediately contact your local police. It is advised that you actually visit the office with a copy of the flyer as well as a good number of color photos of your teen. Speak clearly and act rationally, but make sure that they understand how serious the situation is.
- Contact the local paper in order to run a missing ad. Also, contact any other printed media available in your area; many will be very willing to help.
- Contact your local television stations, as well as those in nearby counties. Most stations will be more than happy to run an alert either in the newscast or through the scrolling alert at the bottom of the screen.
Be sure to contact National Runaway Switchboard and if you need residential therapy, please contact Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.
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Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Struggling Teens, Teen Depression, Teen Drug Use, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Runaways, Troubled Teens
How To Deal With a Rebellious Teenager
by Sue Scheff on May 18, 2011
A special guest writer, Robbie Wilson, as asked me to share an article he recently wrote for my readers. As a Parent Advocate for parents of struggling teens and an Author, I applaud Robbie’s understanding of today’s teens and how parents react to them.
How to deal with a rebellious teenager
By Robbie White
No matter how you brought up your offspring, whether you are an affluent family from a quiet suburb or whether your teenager has had a difficult upbringing, a rebellious teen can crop up in any family. Maybe there is a deep seated memory of a North American truck, pulling into the driveway preparing to move your family across the country. Whatever the case may be, there is a solution.
Are you a power-happy parent who loves the control of being a mother or father? Or do you have a high powered career which takes up the majority of your time? Either way, your child could be screaming out for your attention. That boyfriend you dislike, the mess of their bedroom, the fact that you just feel like screaming at them when they continually miss school all boil down to one factor – they want to be noticed.
I hear you shout, ‘well, what can I do?’ Simple, give them the attention they deserve after all they are your children. You have to be frank, not just give in by giving them what they want, do something together and try to build a relationship. Try and find a hobby that you can take part in together, when I was younger I was a rebellious teen – always in trouble at school, always breaking things and getting up to mischief around the house.
My dad started taking an interest in my favorite hobby, football; he started taking me to training and watched my games on the weekend. Instantly, we had something to relate to, a thirty year age gap quashed because we are both interested in the same thing.
It’s time to get involved and talk to your teenager about their problems, the reason for their rebellion could be boredom. You have life experience on your side, try to point them in the right direction, you were a teenager once – your honesty and your interest will play huge dividends in the future. If your son or daughter can open up to you, talk to you about their issues, you are half way there – good luck!
Contact Robbie at Robbie465@professionalintern.com at Professional Intern.
Thanks to Robbie for sharing his story!
Tags: Defiant Teens, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Problem Teens, Rebellious Teens, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens, Wits End
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