ADHD and Depression in Teens
by Sue Scheff on Nov 27, 2010
It is true – most parents are aware of ADD/ADHD from the time their child is a toddler and someone is making statements about your child being possibly ADD/ADHD. It is a label that is used quite frequently, and as a parent of an ADHD son, I am familiar with it. However, I do believe it is over-used too. A new study is linking ADHD with adolescent depression. This is a very interesting article that Connect with Kids just posted.
Source: Connect with Kids
“I try to do something, but I can’t because of the ADD, and it frustrates me. Then that makes me very nervous and anxious and that goes to the anxiety. And then when I get like that, I’ll go ‘Oh my god! I can’t do anything! I can’t do anything!’ And that leads to the depression.”
– Ariel, 20
New research published in the Archives of General Psychiatry shows that children with ADHD are at an increased risk for depression and suicidal thoughts — and very well may need treatment for both. This reinforces the belief that parents and educators of even young children with ADHD should pay close attention to their child’s behavior.
Twenty-year-old Ariel has been living both with anxiety and depression since the eighth grade. She says, “It got so bad where I just slept all day, I didn’t get out of bed, I didn’t do anything.”
That is in addition to attention deficit disorder. Ariel says, “I was already upset and depressed about the fact that I had ADD and had to take medications for that. When I found out I had two more things, I was like, ‘Oh my God! What’s going on?’”
Research from Harvard University shows girls with attention deficit are 19 times more likely to be depressed…and 15 times more likely to have bi-polar disorder than other girls.
Dr. Richard Winer, an Atlanta-area psychiatrist, says, “There is a very high likelihood that there will be something else besides ADHD going on, probably at least a 70 percent chance if not more.”
Why is one person so likely to have several disorders? Researchers say the conditions are genetically linked…and tend to aggravate each other.
Ariel says, “I try to do something, but I can’t because of the ADD, and it frustrates me. Then that makes me very nervous and anxious and that goes to the anxiety. And then when I get like that, I’ll go ‘Oh my god! I can’t do anything! I can’t do anything!’ And that leads to the depression.”
Experts say girls like Ariel often need one medication for ADHD and another for depression.
Dr. Winer says, “I generally will try to treat ADHD first if I think there is also mild to moderate depression alongside. If the depression appears to be extremely severe in nature, then that takes precedence over treating ADHD in terms of what do you treat first.”
Ariel often skips her medication. She says it’s a crutch, but it does work. Her mom Arlene says, “She started taking some anti-depressants, and all of a sudden she was back to the way she had been six months earlier.”
Another study out of Harvard University shows boys with ADHD are also at risk for having another mental health problem, but the statistics are slightly less dramatic than they are for girls.
What We Need To Know
Many parents seem to be ignoring medical advice when it comes to treating their child’s attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A study conducted at New York University reveals that of 500 parents whose children have ADHD, 45 percent say behavioral therapy has been recommended, but less than one-quarter (21 percent) say that their child actually participates in it. In addition, 89 percent of parents with an ADHD child say medication has been prescribed for their child to help manage symptoms, but only 55 percent report their child is taking medication.
The study also included the following findings:
- More than twice as many parents of children with ADHD (43 percent) than parents of children without ADHD (18 percent) believe their child is likely to be picked on at school.
- Nearly half (49 percent) of parents of ADHD children say their child is likely to have difficulty getting along with other neighborhood children (compared to 18 percent of parents of children without ADHD).
- Seventy-two percent of parents of ADHD children report their child has trouble getting along with siblings or other family members, compared to 53 percent of parents of children without ADHD.
- Less than half (48 percent) of parents of children with ADHD say their child adapts easily to new situations, compared to 84 percent of parents of children without ADHD.
- According to their parents, children with ADHD are half as likely to have many good friends (18 percent vs. 36 percent) and are less likely to play with a group of friends (38 percent vs. 50 percent), compared to children without ADHD.
If you believe your child may have ADHD, keep an eye out for the following symptoms listed by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry:
- Has trouble paying attention
- Shows no attention to details and makes careless mistakes
- Easily distracted
- Loses school supplies and forgets to turn in homework
- Has trouble finishing class work and homework
- Has trouble listening
- Has trouble following multiple adult commands
- Blurts out answers
- Demonstrates impatience
- Fidgets or squirms
- Leaves seat and runs about or climbs excessively
- Seems “on the go”
- Talks too much and has difficulty playing quietly
- Interrupts or intrudes on others
Depression is not limited to kids with ADHD, although having ADHD may lead to depression in some cases. According to the Mental Health America, depression among teenagers is increasing at “an alarming rate.” Experts say as many as one in five teens suffers from clinical depression at some time during their teenage years. Depression can take several forms, including bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic depression). Depression can be difficult to diagnose in teens because adults often expect teens to be moody, and they often are. But depression is more than typical moodiness.
The following symptoms may indicate depression, particularly when they last for more than two weeks:
- Poor performance in school
- Withdrawal from friends and activities
- Sadness and hopelessness
- Lack of enthusiasm, energy or motivation
- Anger and rage
- Overreaction to criticism
- Feelings of being unable to satisfy ideals
- Poor self-esteem or guilt
- Indecision, lack of concentration or forgetfulness
- Restlessness and agitation
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
- Substance abuse
- Problems with authority
- Suicidal thoughts or actions
It is extremely important that depressed teens receive prompt, professional treatment. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can worsen to the point of becoming life threatening. If depressed teens refuse treatment, it may be necessary for family members or other concerned adults to seek professional advice. Contact your local mental health association or a school counselor for suggestions on treatment.
Some of the most common and effective ways to treat depression in adolescents are:
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy – Helps teens change negative patterns of thinking and behaving; several studies support the effectiveness of this treatment
- Psychotherapy – Provides teens an opportunity to explore events and feelings that are painful or troubling to them; psychotherapy also teaches them coping skills
- Interpersonal therapy – Focuses on how to develop healthier relationships at home and at school
- Medication – Relieves some symptoms of depression and is often prescribed along with therapy
Resources
- Children with ADHD at Increased Risk for Depression
- New York University
- ADHD Facts from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
- Mental Health America ADHD and Kids
Parenting ADHD: 10 Common Myths
by Sue Scheff on Nov 16, 2010
Guest Blogger, Jasmine Hall, from OnlineClasses.org, has asked me the share her recent article that I believe many of my readers will find value with. ADD/ADHD is a subject that many parents and experts have debated for years. As a son with ADHD, I know firsthand how difficult it can be, and how solutions are different for every family.
10 Common Myths About ADHD
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has been the subject of scrutiny in recent years due to the perception that it’s a faux-disorder. A patient isn’t diagnosed after an X-ray or blood test, but rather with a behavioral evaluation that considers his or her unique situation. The lack physical evidence fuels the skeptics despite the fact that many of them lack experience in dealing with the disorder. Just ask a parent of a child or an adult who suffers from ADHD, and they’ll tell you that it’s more than just the occasional loss of concentration — it hinders their ability to function to their potential, in school and social situations. The following myths have been perpetuated by people who don’t understand ADHD but have been debunked by doctors, mental health professionals and people who live with the disorder.
- ADHD isn’t a real problem: It’s a common opinion that disorders like ADHD were devised by drug companies in order to make a few extra bucks, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, it’s a recognized disorder by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), Centers for Disease Control (CDC), American Medical Association (AMA), National Institutes of Health (NIH) and a majority of national psychiatric and psychological organizations. Acknowledgment of ADHD is almost unanimous by mental health professionals and researchers who have studied it.
- ADHD is an excuse: As previously mentioned, ADHD is a legitimate disorder, and one that can hinder a person’s ability to reach their full academic and personal potential. Symptoms include: difficulty focusing on one thing, difficulty learning something new or completing a task, listening problems, general confusion and disorganization, the inability to sit still, the constant desire to be in motion, excessive talking, the inability to remain quiet for even short periods of time, and poor impulse control. A comprehensive list of symptoms is available by clicking the link.
- Strict discipline can solve childhood ADHD-caused problems: Many people claim that strict discipline can solve a child’s behavioral problems caused by ADHD. Some skeptics tend to view it as a generational problem, asserting that children are spoiled and need to be more harshly punished for their actions. The truth of the matter is that children with ADHD lack sufficient impulse control and excessive punishment can prove damaging to their mental health. And while it’s important to set clear expectations and establish structure, it’s also essential that parents remain patient with their children.
- All ADHD sufferers are hyperactive: Although constant hyperactivity is the primary problem associated with ADHD, it’s not the only symptom. Inattentive-type ADHD, or ADHD without the “H,” has become more recognized by the medical community in recent years. A person can control their impulses while being inattentive, which can lead to substandard academic performance. Even shyness is characteristic of inattentive-type ADHD sufferers; children with the disorder require positive attention, as low self-esteem may become an issue.
- ADHD indicates a lack of intelligence: A Yale report published in 2009 showed that about three of four people with ADHD and an IQ score of more than 120 experienced difficulties with memory and cognitive tests. On the other hand, people without ADHD with similar IQ scores didn’t have as many problems. ADHD doesn’t discriminate based on IQ score. People of all intelligence levels have it; many just need assistance in harnessing their capabilities.
- ADHD medication causes a drugged feeling: A doctor or mental health specialist will determine the appropriate treatment for ADHD based on the unique needs of the patient. Side effects are closely monitored and if a medication has an adverse effect, the dosage will be lowered or it will be changed to something more suitable. The stimulant that’s typically prescribed comes in different forms, including capsule, pill, patch and liquid. Some have short-term effects while others have long-term effects. In short, there’s not one treatment that’s applied to everyone.
- ADHD can be diagnosed through a medication trial: Psychostimulants have the same effect on people without ADHD as they do on people with ADHD, so a noticeable difference in behavior subsequent to taking a medication isn’t a true indicator that a person has the disorder. A person who thinks they may have ADHD should consult a doctor or mental health specialist, and he or she will make an assessment with the assistance of diagnostic criteria established by the American Psychiatric Association, or the American Academy of Pediatrics if a child is being examined.
- ADHD diagnoses have become too common: According to the CDC, just three to seven percent of school-aged children had ADHD in 2006. Between 1997 and 2006, diagnoses of ADHD increased by an average of just three percent each year. A 2005 report by the CDC indicated that 4.4 million children aged four to 17 were diagnosed with the disorder, and just 2.5 million of them were prescribed medication. What’s more, many medical professionals and researchers assert that girls and minorities are underdiagnosed.
- ADHD is limited to children: Many children who endure ADHD still battle it well into adulthood, and many adults will be diagnosed for the first time years after they’ve entered the real word. Instead of forgetting homework assignments, failing to complete in-class assignments and inefficiently studying, they may forget an appointment, produce at a slower rate than their peers, and exhibit a general lack of preparation. In many cases, the result is job instability and a lack of career fulfillment, which can affect their overall quality of life. Adults who think they may have ADHD shouldn’t hesitate to visit a doctor or mental health specialist.
- People with ADHD can’t succeed: The lengthy list of talented people who have ADHD includes 14-time gold medalist Michael Phelps, four-time Super Bowl champion Terry Bradshaw, Kinko’s founder Paul Orfalea, and Virgin Group founder and billionaire Richard Branson. Additionally, great innovators, thinkers and leaders from the past are said to have shown symptoms of the disorder, like Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Charles Schwab and John Lennon. Given the sheer amount of people who have overcome ADHD to achieve their dreams, it’s clear that it doesn’t have to be an impediment to success.
Tags: ADD, ADHD, Parenting, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: Single Parents: How to Raise ADHD Children – Alone
by Sue Scheff on Oct 09, 2009
As a single parent, I had this challenge and wish there was this much information and resources 20 years ago. ADHD children can test your patience, however as a parent, we want to do what is best for our kids. Like myself, we will try all sorts of ideas and advice before taking the medication road. For us, medication saved my child’s academic and social life. What is best for you?
Source: ADDitude Magazine
Seven expert strategies to help single parents raise confident, successful children with ADHD.
You’re sitting in the principal’s office, waiting to talk about your child’s misbehavior. You consider how much easier this would be — not to mention running the household — if your spouse were still in the picture. Raising a child with ADHD can challenge parents in a strong marriage. Doing it alone seems impossible.
It doesn’t have to be. I’ve worked with many single parents who have done it without losing their sanity or their sense of humor. What’s more, their children have thrived, developing a full complement of social skills and flourishing at school and in their careers. All successful single parents have a plan — strategies for taking some of the parenting pressure off their shoulders and nipping little problems in the bud. Here are my best suggestions for going it alone.
1. Make and stick to routines.
When you find your car keys in the cutlery drawer and Chinese food containers in the cabinet, it’s time to make hard-and-fast routines for your home. Set up chore charts, with firm times for accomplishing each task.
Consider listing chores on separate charts, so that children can choose a task from each chart each day. No one wants to be consistently stuck with the most unsavory one — like cleaning the downstairs toilet.
2. Schedule “together time.”
Being the breadwinner and raising a child can drain your energy, leaving you exhausted and irritable. Too many skirmishes, however small, can erode a child’s perception of feeling loved. Every week, press the “love-reset” button by spending some recreational time with each of your children.
The shared time should be child-oriented and involve high-quality interaction between the two of you. Reading together, playing a board game or cards, watching a DVD or video, riding bicycles, or making a favorite meal will do nicely. Sibling rivalry, often a concern in families with ADHD, will decrease considerably if you schedule regular together time.
3. Outsource activities.
Music or art lessons, martial-arts classes, or after-school sports enrich the lives of children with ADHD. Such activities develop their abilities and social skills. Getting your children to lessons and appointments, however, may seem like more than you can manage. Don’t ditch the activities; get help.
Arrange for your children to share rides with other kids in the same program. Call relatives or friends to see if they can occasionally run your child to his guitar lesson or gymnastics hour.
4. Streamline mealtime.
Kids with ADHD benefit from helping out with menu planning, meal preparation, and setting and clearing the table. To shorten your list of chores, make children responsible for preparing part of one meal each week, whether it’s dessert or a salad. While you’re at it, prepare double portions of the main course, and refrigerate or freeze them for next week. Get into the habit of clearing and washing dishes immediately after each meal or snack. No TV or computer time until the “clean team” places the dishes in the dishwasher and the condiments back in the fridge.
5. Put a sock in it.
Many single parents act like super-cops, because there is no one else around to remind their child about homework, taking a shower, whatever. The problem is, nagging creates tension in the household. Be alert for opportunities to let your child take the lead. Ask him to tape-record reminders for himself, so you don’t have to do all the reminding. A laid-back approach brings peace and harmony into the family, and empowers an absentminded child to take control of his day.
6. Agree on treatment.
When your child visits your ex-spouse, his treatment program may be interrupted or called into question. Arrange a joint session with your child’s counselor, therapist, or physician to educate the other parent about why treatment is needed. If the non-custodial parent decides to take the child off medication, and symptoms flare up, use that potentially unpleasant experience as leverage to require your spouse to maintain the treatment plan during the next visit.
7. Agree on responsibilities.
If your child can’t wait to get to Dad’s house every other weekend, Dad might be spoiling him with unadulterated fun. ADHD children often yo-yo between the excessively permissive parent and the taskmaster. The contrast between fun-and-games visits and daily routines at home can create problems for you. Ask your ex-spouse to assign the child some tasks when visiting with him, even if you have to sit down and map them out. Also, make sure that life at home isn’t all work and no play (see “Schedule ‘together time’”). Single parenting is challenging, but it can be fun as well.
Tags: ADD, ADDitude Magazine, ADHD, ADHD Parenting, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
Sue Scheff:Your One-Stop (Parenting) Shop: Why Dr. Michele Borba’s Latest Release Is the Only Parenting Book You’ll Ever Need
by Sue Scheff on Sep 14, 2009
I feel both privileged and honored Dr. Michele Borba took the time in her busy schedule to speak with me about her latest book, and one of the most comprehensive parenting books I have yet to read. This book doesn’t miss a beat, and whether you are a parent, grandparent, educator, daycare provider, Family Coach, therapist or anyone that works with children, this book has to be part of your library! My daughter is definitely receiving one from Santa this year! (My daughter is the proud mother of 2 beautiful kids - my grandchildren, and I want both her and my son-in-law to have this reference book for parenting in today’s generation). Thank you in advance Michele!
Like most parents, you desperately want to raise healthy, happy, caring, self-sufficient kids. But despite the stacks of parenting books you’ve collected, you’re still struggling to find workable solutions to your child-rearing conundrums. Enter parenting expert and author Dr. Michele Borba. In a marketplace overly saturated with trend-based parenting books promising dubious quick fixes, Borba saw a void that needed to be filled. She realized parents were getting answers to their questions, and yet these “solutions” failed to deliver lasting, long-term results. Her response was to sit down and write the parenting book to end all parenting books. I had the opportunity to interview TODAY’s parenting contributor about her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Here is what she said:
Let’s face it, there are so many parenting books. Why did you find need to write another?
I wanted to write one all-encompassing, go-to guide that promises to be the last resource parents will ever need for raising kids 3 to 13.I think there’s too much conflicting information out there and many parenting books don’t offer common-sense solutions that are research-based. Everything in The Big Book of Parenting Solutions is based on the latest scientific research as well as practical solutions that reap the most effective results.
What are some of the 101 topics you address and how did you choose those issues?
I surveyed 5000 parents and asked them what their concerns and topics in 75 of my TODAY show segments that were based on late-breaking issues. The book offers advice for issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends picky eaters and homework wars to more hot-button challenges like inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and cyberbullying. Each of the 101 issues also gives specific step-by-step solutions and advice that is age appropriate.
Why did you also covers tougher issues like eating disorders, cyberbullying depression, stress, drinking, sex in a book for 3 to 13 year olds?
Because it’s a different world—8 is the new 13. We’re now seeing depression in 3 years olds, eating disorders in 8 year olds, and 13year olds are having oral sex. Parents can get real solutions to tough problems, no matter what age their kids are, and head them off before it’s too late to turn that behavior around.
Your book is designed almost like a cookbook. How did you choose the design?
What parent has the time or the energy at the end of a long, stressful day to pore over pages in a parenting book? So I designed this book to work like a cookbook or a desk reference. Parents can look up the problem they want to address, flip right to the correct chapter, and find an easy-to-follow formula for getting the results they want.
Why did you list signs of every problem in every chapter?
Unless parents dig deeper to uncover the reasons their kid is using that bad behavior, the problem will just pop up again later, perhaps in a different form. I’ll help you get to the root of every kid problem so you can begin to truly fix it—and to ensure that the results are both effective and long-lasting. I’ll help parents figure out why their child is using the behavior ad I’ll offer a list of new skills to replace the bad habits so the problem stops once and for all.
How does a parent know its time to worry and consult a professional for the problem?
Sometimes a child’s problem may be bigger than her parents’ ability to solve it. I’ll help you determine what “normal” kid behavior is and what requires the guidance of a professional. For every problem I address, I also list the warning signs that indicate the need to seek outside help.
What makes you a parenting expert that parents should trust?
True parenting experts not only have credentials, they also have the years of experience to back them up. I have a doctorate in counseling and psychology, taught child development, wrote 23 parenting books, had a private practice for troubled kids, and taught special education as well as gifted students. I’ve also given workshops to over a million parents and teachers on four continents, and stay current with late breaking parenting news as a contributor to NBC’s Today show. But my best experience is that I’m the mother of three sons—so I’ve been in the same trenches and I know how challenging parenting can be.
I’ve literally put over 25 years of my experiences into this book with the absolute best parenting solutions, responses, and research. My passion is to share what I’ve learned with others so that they can get the help they need and deserve. I think I’ve done it – The Big Book of Parenting Solutions really has everything parent needs to raise a strong, caring kids in a today’s challenging world.
Follow Michele Borba on Twitter @MicheleBorba and read her Blogs on www.micheleborba.com
Also on Examiner.com
Tags: Big Book of Parenting Solutions, Michele Borba, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Books, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Horse sense learning program for ADHD/Autistic Children
by Sue Scheff on Sep 09, 2009
Drop Your Reins is having another tremendous event in Northern Florida! If you are able to attend, watch the transformation of kids through working with Danielle Herb and her gift with horses.
The Nitty Gritty
When: Saturday, September 26, 2009
What: A mini-equine hands on training course that will teach ADD/ADHD, Autistic and ‘learning different’ children how to raise and lower their energy levels on request.
Where: Cheers Horse Ranch
96841 Blackrock Road, Yulee, Florida
Who: This event is for kids and teens ages 5-17. It will be hosted by the Debbie Manser, Cheers Horse Ranch and taught by Instructors, Marianne St. Clair and Danielle Herb.
Why: Mental + Emotional + Physical Empowerment = Success!
It will be a fun-filled day for both you and your child.
What You’ll Need to Bring: Closed in shoes or boots, hat, sunscreen, bag lunch, chairs, cameras and willingness to have fun,
To ensure personal time with each of the participants, limited spots are available.
AM Session
AGES: 5 – 17 Years Old
TIME: Saturday 9am – 12pm
Questions? Please call Debbie (904)277-7047
For more info: Drop Your Reins.
Follow Danielle on Twitter @DanielleHerb
Follow Cheers Ranch on Twitter @CheersRanch
Follow Marianne StClair on Twitter @MarianneStClair
Also read on Examiner.com
Tags: ADHD, ADHD Programs, Equine Therapy, Parenting, Parenting ADHD, Parenting Resources, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Teen ADHD and Social Skills
by Sue Scheff on Aug 11, 2009
School is opening, and with that comes your teen finding their peer group and developing healthy relationships. With ADHD students, this sometimes can be more challenging. As a mother of an ADHD child (now a young adult), I remember these times well.
ADDitude Magazine is a great resource for articles, tips and information on ADD/ADHD in both kids and adults. Here is a recent article I felt is perfect timing to share with my readers.
Source: ADDitude Magazine
How to Jump-Start Friendships for your ADHD Teen
Five creative ways to help your teenager with ADHD (and poor social skills) find — and keep — friends.
Cultivating friendships during the teen years can be an awesome task for the youngster with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Cliques are hard to break into, and delayed maturity is a roadblock to social success.
While some hyperactive, impulsive ADHD teens win friends with their enthusiasm and offbeat humor, others find themselves ostracized, seen by their peers as overbearing or immature. And for primarily inattentive ADHD kids, chitchat may be a challenge, paralyzing them into silence.
You can’t structure your child’s social life, as you did through elementary and middle school, but you can give the little push that can get her started. “Jump starts” that some of my clients’ parents have used include:
School Clubs
High schools are often much larger than elementary and middle schools, and the school-wide social scene can be daunting to navigate for inattentive ADDers. Conversation — and friendship — come more easily among teens who have a shared interest.
Encourage your child to sign up for clubs or activities that will put her in touch with like-minded students. An outing with the French club may spark conversation with a student in a different class.
Youth Groups
ADHD teens, like ADHD children, often need planned activities. Although you no longer plan and supervise play dates, church organizations, scout groups, and other after-school or community activities can provide structure for the teen who cannot find a crowd on her own.
An added bonus: The adults who run such groups are generally committed to involving all the kids. They’ll take the time to talk to a teen standing on the edge of the group and encourage her to join in.
Outings with Parents
Some ADHD teens do best in smaller groups, with some parental monitoring. Although parents are generally “uncool” to high-schoolers, your presence is acceptable in certain situations. A teen who’s reluctant to call a friend to “hang out” might be persuaded to invite a friend or two to a sporting event, if Dad gets a few tickets.
Community-service programs often involve parents along with their children. The National Charity League sends mother-daughter pairs to volunteer in food kitchens or homeless shelters. I’ve seen many girls make real connections with peers in this kind of setting.
Part-Time Jobs
An after-school or weekend job can let a teen practice some social skills and gain self-confidence. I worked with one youngster who thought he was doomed to social isolation — until he landed a job at a local smoothie shop. He began by talking with classmates who came into the shop, then got to know many of them outside of work, as well.
Social-Skills Groups
If a teen is seriously struggling on the social front, his “jump start” might be a formal group designed to teach social skills. Such groups are generally led by a psychologist or therapist, and may be sponsored by schools or community centers.
The format may involve structured tasks or be an open forum for conversation, with feedback coming from both group leaders, and peers. I’ve seen social-skills groups work wonders for teens who turned a deaf ear when Mom or Dad pointed out social blunders.
Tags: ADD, ADDitude Magazine, ADHD, Parenting Teens, Parenting Teens with ADHD, Social Skills, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: 10 Easy Ways to Start the School Year Right
by Sue Scheff on Jul 25, 2009
It is almost hard to believe that August is around the corner and school will be opening in different parts of our country. Where did the summer go? The holidays are only months away! O-kay, let’s not stress about that right now. Selfishly, I am grateful the school years are behind me, although the memories will be there forever. The clothes (uniforms), books, supplies, teachers, open houses, PTO/PTA, and so much more to help your kids have a positive school year.
If you have an ADD/ADHD child you have a bit extra to be concerned about. As a mother of an ADHD child, I remember always being sure he had a teacher that was familiar with ADD/ADHD and worrying about things I probably didn’t have to worry about. ADDitude Magazine has created a great starters list for us – read on!
Source: ADDitude Magazine
Follow these 10 steps to a happier, more organized, more productive school year for your child with attention deficit disorder (ADHD).
Step One
Talk with your child, and accentuate the positive.
If your child has attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD), she may have low self-esteem. To succeed in school, she must not only adhere to academic and behavioral standards, she must believe in herself.
Educate your child about her condition and present the upside of it. For example, ADHD often correlates with traits such as creativity. As she meets new people and faces new challenges at school, help her remember that she is a valuable member of her classroom community — in spite of, or because of, her differences.
Step Two
Ask your child about his friends.
He may need your help in identifying classmates with whom he could develop constructive friendships. During the first weeks of school, ask your child to describe his classmates, and listen for clues about personalities that might complement his own.
Children with ADHD tend to form quick alliances with children they find exciting or interesting. Encourage your child to get to know the quieter, studious kids, who may admire his imagination or boldness and who may be a calming influence.
Step Three
Help your ADHD child learn to appreciate the teacher.
Your child may feel that teachers are the enemy. Help her find something to appreciate about her teacher. My son and I developed a theory about his fifth-grade teacher; we credited her ability to be understanding to her experience as a parent. My son has appreciated other teachers for their taste in music or movies.
Children with attention deficit should have a sense of teachers as teammates, not merely as authorities. When your child thinks, “She’s strict, but she’s cool,” what she means is, “We can work together.”
Step Four
Have a conversation with your child’s teacher during the first week of school. Without coming off as pushy, clarify the specifics of your child’s attention deficit disorder. Make sure she knows about your child’s IEP or 504 Plan, if there is one in place. Any accommodations should begin immediately, and the classroom teacher can make sure that happens.
Step Five
Have a second conversation with the teacher.
About a month into the school year, ask for a second meeting (if the teacher hasn’t called for one sooner). Don’t wait until parent-teacher conferences to get her take on how things are going. The earlier you are aware of the teacher’s perspective, the sooner you and your child can avoid scenarios that interfere with learning.
Keep communication open. Many teachers prefer e-mail as a way to share information.
Step Six
Talk with your child’s doctor.
If your child is taking ADHD medication, or if you are considering a trial of ADD medicine, have a conversation with the prescribing doctor in late summer and make a plan for the beginning of school.
If this is the first time your child will be taking medication, you may want to start soon after this appointment, so you’ll be able to fine-tune the dose before classes begin.
If your child has taken medication before, he can resume shortly before school starts.
Step Seven
Have a second conversation with the doctor.
After a few weeks of school, you should have another conversation with your child’s psychiatrist or prescribing doctor. In this conversation, perhaps held over the phone, you and the doctor review the information you get from your child, his teacher, and your own observations to decide whether the current course of medication is right.
Step Eight
The new school year brings new chances to talk with other parents at drop-off and pick-up, playdates, back-to-school night, and other events.
How much should you say about your child’s ADHD diagnosis? This is a personal choice, which you might base on your own ease in discussing such matters, your child’s wishes, and your own sense of how the information might be received.
Based on personal experience, I advocate disclosure without shame. I find that other parents are generally supportive. If you share your struggles, you are inviting other parents to share with you — and to lean on you, as well.
If your child knows that you believe in speaking openly, he is less likely to feel that he is bearing a shameful secret.
Step Nine
Have conversations with everyone in your family. Such talks can, of course, occur at any point, but the start of the school year is a good time to review certain understandings.
ADHD affects your family dynamics. Your child may not be the only person in the family who has ADD. Share your experiences with each other. Have your child describe to his relatives what ADD feels like. Ask him to tell everyone what kind of support is helpful. Have family members talk about what their challenges are and what support they need.
If everyone puts their heads together, positive things can develop and the year will go more smoothly.
Step Ten
Revisit past successes — ask yourself tough questions.
Review what you’ve learned about your ADHD child in the last year. What helped him toward success in the previous grade? What made success difficult? As your child grows, your knowledge of him grows. Maybe an old idea needs revision.
Keep a current, holistic, and detailed impression of your child in mind as you move forward. Know that you may face some new challenges this year, but empower yourself as the expert on your child and trust that you’ll make the right decisions throughout the coming year.
Tags: ADD, ADDitude Magazine, ADHD, Parenting, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Horse Sense for Children with ADHD/Autism
by Sue Scheff on Jul 24, 2009
Are you ready to be blown away? Drop Your Reins is a program that offers peaceful solutions for ADHD/ADD & Autistic Children Using Natural Horsemanship. The founder is Danielle Herb, and the part that will blow you away is – she is only 15 years old! So how does she did she accomplish so much in so little time? It is my guess that determination and passion is what is driving her!
I have spoken with her mother, Marianne St. Claire, and was so impressed at all of Danielle’s accomplishments. She is a leader for youths – and for the kids she helps. I look forward to meeting with all of them soon! How fortunate I am to be in the same state they are? Very – and I can’t wait! I grew up riding and showing horses, so this feels like it was all meant to be.
In the meantime – I wanted to share some of her fantastic information about the Drop Your Reins program and her terrific new website! www.dropyourreins.com – Be sure to check it out!
Read on….
Drop Your Reins and Learn To Trust!
The Method
Mother and daughter team Marianne St. Clair and Danielle Herb are two dynamic, pioneering and incredible human beings who use their own journey of discovery through the challenges of ADHD to help other families find alternative healing methods.
By partnering with horses, they have created an experiential learning environment that invites open communication, personal reflection, and progressive alternatives for ADD/ADHD and Autistic diagnosed children as well as for those who support them.
The Madness
The old model of parenting and training horses, still being used by many today, is to break their spirit into submission to get them to do what you want. They are repeatedly worn down until the end result is unhappy, unhealthy kids and horses.
The (Danielle Herb) Experience
Danielle Herb Founded and run by 15-year-old Danielle Herb, Drop Your Reins is a collaborative experiential training school based in Live Oak, FL. The flagship program offered by Drop Your Reins is called ‘The Experience’, which is a dynamic and progressive program that breaks down the social segmentation that exists among humans, animals and science. The holistic and progressive program infuses direct interaction with horses, supplemental training videos, experiential coaching techniques and community collaboration to help guide the powerful minds of ADD/ADHD and Autistic children to reach their greatest potential while maintaining their innocence and purity.
The Same, Yet Different
Whether your art is in your pen, your keyboard or your heart the only way to nurture and foster your innate creative being is to embrace and explore it. Adults often get immersed in their ‘daily routine’ and they lose sight of this ’special creative place’ that they once thrived and roamed wild and free in as a child. However, they often seek out this place as they continue to age and mature. Adults have choices, outlets and tools that they can use to rediscover this place and align themselves with others that celebrate their differences.
For children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and Autism their journey is much the same, however, it exists on the opposite end of the spectrum. They are constantly immersed in their ‘creative being’ so they are in search of a serene place to escape where they can find peacefulness and tranquility. Yet, the more they seek out this place, the more the world labels them and puts them under a spotlight. Children have no choices, few outlets and lack the tools or self-sufficiency to empower themselves on this journey. While they have differences, few people identify with them and those differences are certainly not celebrated.
How DYR Supports Children:
Drop Your Reins is a Youth to Youth Program designed to give kids (ages 8-14) tools that will assist them in ways to overcome fears and challenges, develop healthy loving relationships, build trust, grow their inner confidence and self esteem and explore leadership. Custom programs are available for youth under age 8 and youth/young adults over the age of 14.
How DYR Supports Parents:
After Danielle was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at age 5 it was Marianne’s intuition that led her in the quest to assist her daughter to rid herself of the harmful mental, emotional and physical side affects associated with ADHD. Their holistic approach takes into consideration foods, additives, toxins, stressors, schooling, home life, and much more to work with parents to find healing solutions for each child and family that are touched by their program.
How DYR Supports Medical and Health Practioners:
New research suggests that animals have far more complex and cognitive social skils than we give them credit for. By collaborating with Drop Your Reins Medical and Equine Practioners alike can work closely to study these amazing creatures in a natural setting and document their relationships and interaction as it pertains to humans.
Danielle and an ‘Attentive’ Horse As Drop Your Reins prepares to launch its 2010 International Tour the Equine Community plays an integral role. From serving as host sites for Drop Your Reins clinics and demos to enrolling as Drop Your Reins Certified Partners, Drop Your Reins could not exist without their valued support and encouragement. Supporting all the young people around the world who are impacted by The Drop Your Reins next generation program is greater than Danielle Herb and Marianne St. Clair. They are grateful and open to support from anyone who believes in their mission and compliments their vision.
How DYR Supports the Community at Large:
Regardless if you are an avid lover of horses or just curious about them, Drop Your Reins® co-founders, Danielle Herb and Marianne St. Clair are available as consultants, speakers or master trainers for your equine related adventure.
Training, Partnerships and More:
Drop Your Reins partners with organizations in a variety of ways from speaking to developing custom training programs, leadership clinics and ’mini experiences’. Following is a list of the types of groups that we currently collaborate and work with:
- School
- Faith Based Group
- Mom’s Group
- WAHM Group
- Business
- 4 H Club
- Rotary Club
- FFA
- Youth Group
- CHADD Group
Connect
Contact us if you would like to set up a private-discreet program or to learn more about our customized learning/training programs.
p: 386-466-6466
e: dropyourreins[at]gmail [dot] com
Twitter @danielleherb
Twitter: @mariannestclair
Tags: ADD, ADHD, Equine Therapy, Parenting, Parenting ADD, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Autism, Parenting Teens, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: The Truth About Your ADHD Child’s Lying
by Sue Scheff on Jul 19, 2009
If you have a child/teen with ADHD be an educated parent and learn how to handle behavior that is not acceptable. ADDitude Magazine has a wide ranges of articles, tips and more for both adults and children.
Source: ADDitude Magazine
The Truth About Your ADHD Child’s Lying
Attention deficit children may tell lies as a result of their ADHD symptoms rather than being dishonest. Learn when to punish your ADHD child’s lying and when to deal with its causes.
Some ADHD kids may not be dishonest as much as they are victims of uncontrolled ADHD symptoms. Barry’s mother, for example, tells him to come right home after school, because the family is going out to dinner. Distracted and rushing, he mumbles, “Yeah, OK, Mom.” In the course of a hectic day, he forgets his mother’s reminder and walks in an hour late. When his parents confront him, Barry stubbornly argues that his mom never told him to be home early. Is he lying? No, he forgot. It is an organization and record-keeping issue, not an honesty issue.
After working with many parents and teens, I’ve found that serious lies sometimes spring from an inability to treat and manage ADHD symptoms. A parent should discipline a teen for his untruths, but he should also help him manage the symptoms that may have caused him to lie. For example:
Impulsivity. David asks to borrow the family car to drive to the library to do research. Being impulsive, he detours to the mall to catch the new action movie. When asked later how his research was going, David assures his father that his time was well spent. Unfortunately, for David, his sister spotted the car in the cinema parking lot. Busted! Lies should have consequences—in David’s case, he wasn’t allowed to use the car for two weeks. But David’s parents should also talk with their son and his doctor about possibly adjusting his ADHD medication, or adding behavior therapy to his treatment plan.
Inability to stay on task. Trish is handed a note by her math teacher, warning her that she has a dozen incomplete homework assignments. She is too ashamed and scared to discuss it with her parents. When the progress report is mailed home, she hides it from them, trying to avoid embarrassment and their wrath. Trish’s behavior calls for discipline, but her inability to finish homework requires organization strategies.
Irresponsibility. Doug always washes the dinner dishes on Tuesdays, but on this particular Tuesday, he would rather have a root canal than wash another dirty plate. “I can’t do the dishes tonight, Mom! I have a paper to write!” he announces, sounding regretful. Aversion to boring tasks, combined with impulsivity, is common among ADHD teens. Lying to escape responsibility is never OK, but Doug’s parents should think about ways to make boring tasks more exciting—maybe by playing a DVD on the kitchen TV while he scrubs away.
Punishing Lies
Parents should figure out why lying occurs and why it persists. If a child is struggling with problems at school or with peers, parents should deal with lying as an academic or social skills problem. If lies are deliberate and malicious—involving alcohol or drug use, shoplifting, or other delinquent behavior—they should be dealt with forcefully and consistently. That is the only way to discourage such negative behavior.
Have a heartfelt talk with your teen about the serious consequences of breaking the trust between the two of you. Equally important, tell him how he can repair it. Follow these rules:
- Establish consequences for telling lies. Discuss these with your teen early on.
- Confront lying when it happens, but do so in a calm, respectful manner. The most important goal is to teach responsible behavior, not to criticize or blame.
- Be consistent and fair in enforcing consequences. Let the punishment fit the crime.
- Demand accountability. Taking responsibility means owning up to the lie, showing repentance, and offering a sincere apology to you and, in some cases, the family.
- Reward honesty. When little George Washington told the truth about cutting down the cherry tree, he demonstrated character and, thus, received a lighter punishment.
- Be honest yourself. Parents are the strongest role models in their teens’ lives.
Even when you’re tempted to blow a gasket, maintain a respectful relationship with your teenager. Mutual respect does not ensure honesty, but it certainly encourages it.
How to Be a Lie Detector
Is a statement consistent? An honest statement is typically clear and consistent. A lie often sounds sketchy and includes contradictory information.
Does a story sound rehearsed? A truthful statement is spontaneous. A lie might sound stiff, like a prepared speech.
What do facial expressions tell you? An honest person looks natural and relaxed. A person telling a lie might have a strained facial expression.
Tags: ADDitude Magazine, ADHD, Parenting, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: To Medicate or not to Medicate
by Sue Scheff on Jul 15, 2009
Here is an interesting article that many parents with kids that are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD struggle with. As a mother of an ADHD child (now a young adult), after trying other alternatives, medication was the path that worked for us. By the time my son was in his Freshman year of College, he no longer was taking the medication. I know each child is different and I also know the feeling of wanting to help our kids when they are struggling. I think one of the largest misconceptions I get from parents today is that ADD/ADHD kids are less intelligent than a child without ADD/ADHD. My son has a very high IQ – however he couldn’t focus long enough to use it – until we decided on medication. Did I mention he had a full academic ride in a private college? Yes, ADD/ADHD children are very intelligent. (O-kay, so I am a proud mom!)
To Medicate or to not Medicate
When dealing with a child with ADHD or ADD, it seems like the only sane choice for you as a parent is to put them on the various medications that have been emerging. While these do take care of the initial symptoms, they also serve to build a dependence on medication and alter the complete mood of your child so that you are unaware where their personality went sometimes. With the increase in medicinal findings relating to such disorders, more and more parents are opting to put their children on various medications that are meant to relieve symptoms but can produce unwanted side effects.
Dealing with a teenager is rough enough as it is, but dealing with one with ADHD or any other behavioral disorder amplifies this time by 10. Additionally, the number of cases has increased drastically over the years, which reveals not only an influx of cases but an increase in medication as well. This in turn has led many to believe that this is not a “true” disorder and is an easy “cop-out” for parents with unruly children to find some way to calm them down. Furthermore, more and more college students are also claiming to have related disorders in order to get the medication and special help throughout classes. Ritalin and Adderall are in high demand throughout college campuses and serve to allow students to focus on their papers and assignments better. Encouraging this type of dependence from such a young age is detrimental for the health of these children and can serve to become a debilitating addiction. What happens when the children are adults and go off medication? Will they be able to focus on their life after this point or will they continually need to self-medicate?
Deciding whether or not to put your child on similar medications is a hard decision for any parent, but the recent findings relating disparaging remarks about medication are not entirely helpful for parents considering the option. For many of these parents, medication seems to be the last viable option, while many health care professionals believe that these behavioral disorders are becoming overdiagnosed around the country. While most children are prescribed medication in order to make them “normal”, many doctors have argued that no one has talked about the moral equivalent of medication: better parenting and more appropriate schooling. While it is unfair to blame the parents for this type of behavior condition, it remains apparent that the diagnosis is becoming increasingly popular among health care professionals and schools have yet to really revitalize their efforts to deal with students who suffer from this inability to focus on their work. Only a decade ago, few children were diagnosed with such a disorder; many were just assumed to not care about school. However, present day schooling has indicated that teachers need to recognize this type of behavior as a condition that can be treated with medication, not with increased supervision. In severe cases, medication may be the best option, but overall in the thousands of cases around the country, simply increased discipline on the child should serve to help their overall concentration. Behavioral conditions should not blossom in this way overnight out of little substance.
This post was contributed by Sarah Russel, who writes about the top rated colleges. She welcomes your feedback at SarahRussel1234 at gmail.com
Tags: ADD, ADD Medications, ADHD, ADHD Medications, Parenting, Parenting ADD, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Sue Scheff
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