Sue Scheff: The Consequences of Sexting
by Sue Scheff on Feb 27, 2010
Sexting is a word that years ago we would have not heard about. Today teens and tweens are not only familiar with this word, many have suffered the consequences from it.
A Thin Line debuted on MTV this month that educates and informs parents, teachers, kids and everyone about the dangers of the digital world.
What is Sexting?
Sending or forwarding nude, sexually suggestive, or explicit pics on your cell or online. For some people, it’s no big deal. But real problems can emerge when the parties involved are under 18, when people get pressured into sexting, and when sexts go viral. – A Thin Line
What are the consequences of sending or receiving one? There are many, however the most common are the feelings of humiliation, embarrassment and much worse. The person that is in the photo can potentially suffer from extreme depression and even feelings of suicide.
For the person sending them to go viral, there could be potential criminal charges. You could get arrested. Taking, sending, and possessing naked images of a minor is a federal crime. Sex offenders’ registry? Not the honor roll you were hoping for.
Parents need to take the time to sit down and talk to their kids about sexting and how it can potentially ruin lives for a long time. Review their phones or computers if you suspect that your child is participating in this activity. Remember, there comes a time when safety trumps privacy and this could be one of those times.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
Watch A Thin Line on Sexting in America. Watch the four-part series with your children.
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Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexting, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues, Texting
Sue Scheff: Chatroulette – A New Concern for Parents
by Sue Scheff on Feb 24, 2010
A 17 year-old boy in Moscow created a new chatroom website: Chatroulette.
“I created this project for fun,” Andrey Ternovskiy wrote in an e-mail to the paper. “Everyone finds his own way of using the site. Some think it is a game, others think it is a whole unknown world, others think it is a dating service.” - New York Times
What does this mean for parents? Another website to monitor and talk to your kids about. If you haven’t heard of Chatroulette, you may think that talking about it will only create curiosity with your kids. It may, however knowing about it can help you to be educated about it and talk to your teens intelligently about Chatroulette.
Chatroulette gives a person an opportunity to communicate, converse with people they would otherwise never know. It is talking to strangers. Anonymity encourages all types of people with a variety of colorful stories (whether true or not). This site is not blocked for minors, so it is up to the parents to be sure they have their parental controls and filters in place.
However remember, no matter how many fire walls you install, blocks to websites, etc…. unless your child understands the dangers, they will always find a way to get to where they want to surf. It is as easy as going to a friend’s computer, your local library or even an Internet café with their allowance.
Education is key. As a parent you should learn about this latest trend and talk to your kids about it.
While Promise of New Web Site Is to Connect Strangers, the Practice Can Be Something Creepier - Good Morning America
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Tags: Chatrooms, Chatroulette, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Safety, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Chat rooms, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Think before you click send – Have you ever recevied a “Nasty-Gram?”
by Sue Scheff on Feb 20, 2010
It is more likely than not that you have typed an email filled with anger and hit send before thinking about the consequences. It is even likely you have received an email that hurt your feelings and was simply ugly.
Emails fly through the day and through the night. Once you hit send, it could be the end of a friendship, job, relationship, or even marriage. Have you reviewed your email and thought about who will be seeing it? Who will be reading it? Or if it ends up as an exhibit in a court of law, will it come back to haunt you?
We can learn to maintain our stress level through breathing exercises or even counting to a hundred. It would benefit you if you are angry, upset, or have to deliver not so good news, to think twice before hitting send. Put that email in your drafts, think on it for twenty-four hours.
Like with bullying, these emails can have lasting emotional affects on the person receiving it. Is that your intent? If so, you truly need to step back from the keypad or mouse and re-evaluate this situation.
Teens and kids don’t always think before they hit send. Take the time to teach your children about the liabilities of sending “nasty-grams“. What you post or send today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow.
Think twice before you launch that email!
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Tags: Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Happy Valentine’s Day – Use Caution with Your Social Media V-Day Gifts
by Sue Scheff on Feb 14, 2010
Reputation Defender, the leader in protecting your online profile and helping you maintain your honest image, has some great advice on sending and receiving social media Valentine’s gifts.
Source: Reputation Defender Blog
This Valentine’s Day, keeping things “personal” between you and your significant other may mean not using social media or other online tools to express your genuine feelings. In other words, NOT sending Facebook flowers/hugs/lingerie/other assorted virtual gifts to someone you truly care about; NOT using E-Cards as a replacement for the real thing; and NOT uploading a video of yourself lip syncing (or worse actually singing) Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” in your underwear to YouTube to share with your partner and the rest of the online community. More often than not, the real thing is much more effective.
With those thoughts in mind, we here at ReputationDefender have compiled some Valentine’s Day social media tips designed to keep the day special for just you and whoever you choose to share it with:
- Keep your Tweets and Facebook status updates PG-13 rated
Nobody wants to read about your Valentine’s night plans, no matter how subtle you are. So instead of tweeting “At the grocery store buying strawberries and chocolate sauce, hint, hint” or updating with “Can’t wait for my night with (add name here),” just keep it to yourself. Your Facebook friends will thank you for keeping mushy, gushy stuff off their update streams and your partner won’t hate you for announcing plans for “Horizontal mambo time.”
- Don’t text or e-mail that “special” Valentine’s Day picture to your partner.
You can never be too sure where it’s going to end up. It’s well know that data doesn’t just disappear into a World Wide Web black-hole, never to appear again. It goes somewhere. So unless you want that sexy, pouty lipped image of you dressed in leopard lingerie to pop up on Hot or Not or God knows where else, save the outfits (or lack of outfits) for personal time.
- Avoid the myriad “Who’s your perfect match?”, “What type of lover are you?”, and “Are you meant to be together?” quizzes on Facebook and other websites.
While knowing whether or not you’re compatible with Jessica Alba is helpful information, basing a relationship off of or even bothering to take an online quiz is about as constructive as proposing via Twitter. Besides being time wasters, quizzes can be detrimental to a relationship depending on how much thought you give them (“What do you mean I’m not your perfect match!?!”) and often are managed by third-party developers (who are known to have security issues).
- Being genuine often means going the extra mile.
Nobody wants to read “I love you” in a tweet, Facebook message, or e-mail, particularly on Valentine’s Day. A Valentine’s Day E-Card is just as impersonal with the added annoyance that it’s carrying possible malware. Your best bet is sticking to tradition, i.e. cards, candies, flowers, etc. Besides preventing images or text from being seen by the wrong people, the traditional approach to Valentine’s Day says you care enough to at least stop at the drug store or supermarket on your way over.
Photo: XKCD
Tags: Cyber Safety, Holidays, Internet Safety, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Reputation Defender, Social Media, Sue Scheff, Valentine's Day
Sue Scheff: Have You Reviewed Your Teen’s Social Networking Site? Teen Expelled for FB Posting
by Sue Scheff on Jan 31, 2010
Just months away from graduation, 17 year-old Tennessee student, Taylor Cummings, was recently expelled from his high school. Why?
After weeks of butting heads with his coaches, Taylor, 17, logged on to the popular social networking site from home Jan. 3. He typed his frustrations for the online world to see: “I’ma kill em all. I’ma bust this (expletive) up from the inside like nobody’s ever done before.” - USA Today
A few nasty keystrokes and a click of the mouse and your life can be turned upside down! Whether you are a student, business owner, parent, or anyone that uses social networking, remember, what goes online – stays online.
Google Bomb, The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict That Changed the Way We Use the Internet, is an example of an adult being held accountable. Free speech does not condone defamation.
In many schools now there is a zero tolerance for these types of threats. We have had many sad endings with cyber threats, cyber suicides, cyberbullying, cyber stalking and other various ways that kids are hurting each other via keystrokes.
Taylor Cummings had a public profile on Facebook without any restrictions on who could see it. This in itself should be a wake-up call to many. Take the time to secure your privacy settings. Think twice before allowing your profile to be public.
Parents should take the time to review their children’s social networking sites. Especially those that have teens that will be applying to colleges. More and more colleges are using search engines to research their applicants. What is Google saying about you?
This is not about invading your child’s privacy, it is about protecting their future.
Take the time to maintain your online image and learn to stop, think and consider what you are about to post or send. Will it be considered threatening? Will it be considered defamatory? Is it targeted to hurt someone? Take the time to educate your children and teens about “what they post today, may haunt them tomorrow…”
Be an educated parent – you will have safer teens.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Facebook, Internet Safety, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Social Networking, Sue Scheff, Teen Postings
Sue Scheff: Don’t Get Caught Naked Online!
by Sue Scheff on Jan 15, 2010
- Are you looking for employment?
- Is your teen applying to colleges?
- Do you run a small business?
- Are you dating online?
- Does your career depend on your reputation?
It’s official; PEW study shows that about 75% of all Americans are using the Internet. More importantly over 53% of people are Googling each other! Do you know what Google is saying about you?
If you fall in any of the categories above, you have reason to be concerned about your virtual image. Being caught naked online doesn’t necessarily mean “butt” naked, however it does mean virtually exposed in ways that may not be flattering to you or your quest in life.
Google Bomb, The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict that Changed The Way We Use The Internet, is a great place to start on repairing and/or polishing your online image. Learn from my story, gain from my virtual disaster that lead to an awareness of the power of a keystroke. Google Bomb also offers great tools to help you dress yourself up online.
For more great tips on maintaining your virtual profile, visit my series on Virtual Vanity.
Order Google Bomb book today and take control of your wardrobe virtually – remember, whether you are applying for a job, going on a date, or interviewing for admissions at a college – chances are very high someone will be Googling you.
What is a Google bomb?
Google Bomb (n) or “link bomb”: Internet slang for a certain kind of attempt to raise the ranking of a given page in results from a Google search. (Wikipedia)
Insure your cyber profile. Learn how to wear your virtual clothes.
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Image, Cyber Safety, Google Bomb, Google Bomb Book, Internet Profile, Internet Safety, Internet Slander, Online Reputation
Sue Scheff: Reading Your Teen’s Emails and Text Messages
by Sue Scheff on Jan 09, 2010
Recently we read about whether parents should read their child’s diary or journal. With the advances of technology, we need to take this a step further: Should you read their emails or text messages?
Again we can go back to “when safety trumps privacy.”
Our teens deserve to be trusted unless they give us reason to suspect something is wrong. Is their behavior changing? Here is a review of some warning signs (many are the same to determine if you should read their diaries).
- Is your teen becoming very secretive? Sure, teens do like their privacy, however if you have a “gut feeling” something is deeper than a secret, you may have to cross that line.
- Is your teen becoming withdrawn? Again, teens will develop some attitudes of not wanting to be with adults, however when it becomes extreme, it may be time to cross that line.
- Is your teen changing peer groups? And this is not into a better one, however to one that is less than desirable? You will again attempt to talk to your teen and find out why and what happened to the other friends.
- Is your teens eating habits changing?
- Is your teen sleeping a lot? Bloodshot eyes? Do you suspect drug use?
- Is your teen sneaking out? Becoming extremely defiant? Not respecting your boundaries?
- Are they overly protective of their cell phones or computer?
- Do they hide their cell phones?
- Are they anxious when at their computer, seem fearful, attempt to hide their incoming emails?
- Overall, is your teen slowly becoming a child you don’t recognize?
Like with determining if you should invade their privacy with their journals or diary, unless your teen or tween gives you good reason to read their private text and emails, as parents, we should respect their privacy.
When it comes to younger children, under 10 years old, parents should always be allowed to see what they are doing. Most younger children are usually not as protective as teens or tweens. As a responsible parent, you will know when there are red flags or warning signs and you need to step in.
Keeping an open dialog with your tweens and teens is critical. Letting them know you are there for them as well as talking to them about the issues of sexting, cyberbullying, predators and other areas of concern.
Should you read your child’s emails or text messages? Only you can answer that.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer children.
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Emails, Internet Safety, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Privacy, Sue Scheff, Text Messages
Sue Scheff: One Click Away….
by Sue Scheff on Jan 02, 2010
Have you thought about how dangerous a “click of a mouse” is? Dangerous?
As you start a new year, take the time to educate yourself on Internet safety. Learn how you can become proactive in your kids lives both online and off. Learn how that one click can either open doors that you can benefit from, or enter hallways are dark and dangerous.
You can put as many parent safety controls on your computer system. You can employ technical gadgets galore, but until you educate yourself and your kids about the dangers that can lurk online, you and your family are not 100% protected.
Yes, you can be just one click away: Be sure it is a click into safety not danger.
- Social Web Tips for Parents
- Social Web Tips for Teens
- Chat room Safety Tips - Know who your kids are mingling with online.
- Basic Online Safety Tips: Parenting 101 Cyber Safety
- Learn about Internet Predators
- Internet Things Your Children Should Never Know
- Parenting 2010: Getting Ahead of your kids technically
- SEXTING: Learn how you can prevent it
- T.A.L.K.
Did you order your FREE Cyber Safety Booklet from the FTC?
Be an educated parent, you will have safer kids!
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Chat Room Safety, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Safety, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Online, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Social Media Predictions for 2010 by Michael Fertik
by Sue Scheff on Dec 30, 2009
This week CEO and Founder of Reputation Defender, Michael Fertik gives some fantastic 2010 Social Media Predictions that can help you help your future – technically.Will social media continue to expand in 2010? Most experts agree that social media is more than just a fad, and will continue to be an integral part of our lives in the years to come. Perhaps nowhere will the importance of social media be felt than in the area of personal branding and online reputation management.
Recently, in a guest column for ZDNet, ReptuationDefender CEO Michael Fertik shared his social media predictions for the new year, and why he believes that 2010 will be the year of “Atomic Branding.” Check out Michael’s insights here.
Tags: Branding, Internet Image, Internet Safety, Michael Fertik, Online Image, Reputation Defender, Reputation Management, Social Media, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Cybercrime TV to Present World Congress on School Cyber Threats
by Sue Scheff on Dec 22, 2009
Cybercrime TV is inviting experts to address 600 policy makers at the International School Safety Convention in Denver, Colorado, April 22-23, 2010, as part of a special session on cyber threats faced by schools, students,teachers, and parents.
Washington, DC December 21, 2009 – Cybercrime TV (http://www.cybercrime.tv ) is inviting experts to address 600 policy makers at the International School Safety Convention in Denver, Colorado, April 22-23, 2010, as part of a special session on cyber threats faced by schools, students, teachers, and parents.
The program chair for the session is Andy Purdy, former U.S. Department of Homeland Security cyber head, and founder of Cybercrime TV. High-definition television highlights of the proceedings will be distributed to media outlets worldwide. Cybercrime TV will also produce with participating speakers print materials and interactive presentations.
Purdy expects topics to include cyber security, cyber bullying, sexting, illegal file sharing, online predators, privacy issues, and potential threats to “middle-mile” broadband projects that connect schools to community responders.
Purdy is particularly interested in announcements about new initiatives that can impact legislation and national investment in securing schools.
Purdy’s invitation extends to book authors, filmmakers, documentary producers, researchers, lawmakers, community leaders, and technology developers.
Participants can use the website, Cybercrime.TV, to prepare for the convention and build a community of interest around their themes. The site offers registered members a variety of online tools for collaborating on video and multimedia presentations, as well as private workspaces for connecting with convention attendees.
The International School Safety Convention will take up 12 meeting spaces on the Denver campus of Johnson &Wales University College of Business. The 2-day event is being organized by international school safety leader Michael Dorn for the Denver-based groups, School Safety Partners (http://www.schoolsafetypartners.org ) and the Foundation for the Prevention of School Violence.
Attendees will be primarily high-level decision makers responsible for major school safety funding, business leaders interested in public-private partnerships, and members of the school construction community.
Within the convention, the main feature will be the innovative World Congress on School Safety, which will include Purdy’s session on school cyber threats. The fast pace of the agenda is designed to optimize group problemsolving.
Speakers will have a brief period of time in the Jared Polis Auditorium to present their views before a review panel and the general assembly, followed by questions and answers. They will then proceed to an adjoining conference room to continue their discussions with members of the media and other attendees.
In addition, speakers may take part in presentations covering all aspects of school safety prevention, preparedness, response, and recovery, scheduled in 2 more conference spaces.
The convention will be immediately followed by a 30-day television distribution window, during which broadcast video will be distributed to journalists, television news producers, and online and mobile news video providers at more than 25,000 news organizations on all continents.
Experts interested in participating in Purdy’s school cyber threats session are welcome to register at Cybercrime.TV and provide a brief profile.
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Photo of Andy Purdy.
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Tags: Andy Purdy, Cybercrime TV, Internet Safety, Internet Threats, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parents Universal Resource Experts, School Safety, School Violence, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
