Sue Scheff: What is Your Child’s Report Card Saying?
by Sue Scheff on Nov 01, 2009
In many areas the first quarter of school as ended, which means we have either very proud parents, or disappointed ones. Is your child underachieving? Not working up to their potential? Are they exceeding your expectations?
Whatever your child’s is saying to you, open those lines of communication, whether it is praise or concern, take the time to have a conversation. Here is a recent article from Education.com that offers some great insights and advice.
Source: Education.com
By Skila Brown
It’s here. The dreaded first home delivery of the report card. Whether you’re pulling it out of a backpack or pulling it up on a computer screen, there’s a moment of anticipation and maybe even dread. Indeed parents seem obligated to use the report card moment as a pep talk. But experts aren’t sure this is the right way to go.
Maria Pickard, guidance counselor in Memphis, Tennessee, warns parents against saying too much. “Students come to rely too heavily on their parents’ reaction to their scores. When what we really want is to have them reacting themselves. If parents could just use that moment to get their kids thinking for themselves about how they did, report cards would be a more effective tool for motivating kids to perform better.”
The most basic advice for parents is to ask open-ended questions instead of yes-or-no ones. Think of the report card as a conversation-starter. A way for your child to talk about how she’s doing in each area, what is easy or hard for her, and how you can help her to do better.
Here are more tips for talking about report cards with your child:
- Ask your child how she thinks she did. This opens up the dialogue for any problems she’s having in the class or reasons for a less than stellar performance. And it sets the tone for parents to listen.
- If the teacher is commenting on your child’s chattiness or inability to listen, don’t set yourself up for an argument. Instead of asking why he’s chatty or why she can’t sit still, ask, “Why do you think the teacher feels you have trouble listening?” Getting your child to explain from the teacher’s point of view enables him to think about how his actions are being interpreted.
- Offer specific praise and encouragement instead of broad statements. Try: “You worked very hard to bring up your math grade this period,” instead of “Great job in math.”
- Separate your child from his grades. No parent wants his child to feel his self-worth is derived from what teachers say about him. Consider statements like, “I love you, but I don’t like this report card” as a way to distinguish between the two.
- Focus on a way to do better. Instead of telling your child to pull up her history grade, talk together to find a way she can improve her scores in that class. Come up with a plan. Write it down. Finally, communicate it to the teacher, so that you’re all on the same page.
- Handle praise with care. If your child consistently brings home amazing report cards, it may be difficult to know what to say. “Good job” loses its meaning and has almost no affect. Consider reminding your child how she got those grades, and prompting her to find some self-satisfaction. “I am not surprised you have all these great grades on your report card. I saw you working very hard this term and it looks like it’s paid off. I bet you feel very proud!”
How big of a deal should you make about report cards? Well, that usually depends upon your child. If he’s visibly stressed out because his report isn’t perfect, your reaction should be very low-key. If she seems ambivalent about the negative comments and poor grades, you’ll probably want to emphasize it more.
Remember that report cards are simply a way for your child’s school to formally record his progress. Progress is the key. It’s a way for you to see what your child is learning and how he is performing in school. But it’s not the final say on how smart he is. If we approach report cards with that attitude, we’ll be able to offer the encouragement our child needs for success in school.
Follow Education.com on Twitter @Education_com
Tags: Education, Education.com, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Report Cards, Schools and Teachers, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Outrageous School Policies: What Parents Can Do
by Sue Scheff on Oct 28, 2009
Has “zero tolerance” gone too far? I hear from parents regularly and I must admit, although I completely understand safety of our children is always a priority, some of the suspensions or incidents that land immature young students in alternative school situations, can be troubling – debatable at least. I believe each incident should be reviewed individually, however at the same time we do need policies in effect. This is another time parents need to be involved. Be an educated parent, you could save your child from being placed in a not so good situation.
Source: Education.com
By Bob Ross
There was a lesson to be learned recently in the case of Zachary Christie, a 6-year-old first-grader in Delaware who earlier this month brought a camping utensil along with his lunch. The tool included a folding fork and knife—the reason Zachary took it out during lunch time at Downes Elementary School in Newark last month.
Unfortunately for Zachary, that favorite camping utensil also included a folded knife. That automatically made it a “dangerous instrument” under his school district’s rule, which in this case had zero tolerance for any dangerous instruments brought into school.
So Zachary was sentenced to 45 days in the district’s alternative school, a punishment that drew outrage from parents and lawmakers alike. A few days later, the school board allowed Zachary to return to school and amended the policy to include only a 3- to 5-day suspension for kids caught with dangerous instruments, if they are in kindergarten or first grade.
The incident raises questions about what parents should do if they encounter a school rule that they think is unfair and should be changed. While some observers lashed out against so-called zero tolerance policies—rules that require a certain punishment often without allowing the school principal or administrators any discretion—Diane Cargile, president of the National Association of Elementary School Principals, had a different view.
Cargile pointed out that many schools have zero tolerance rules covering a variety of different behaviors. At her school in Terre Haute, Ind., for example, an incident like the one with Zachary would go to a committee with the discretion to determine the intent of the child.
The main point that Cargile made is that parents should, and can be, vital partners with schools in setting up important rules and policies. Principals and administrators want input from parents when rules are being discussed. It’s important for parents to know the policies and rules at school and become active and involved. Don’t wait until there’s a problem to show up at school, Cargile said. “We want parent involvement and that’s how schools are made,” Cargile said. “And then when you are surprised (about a rule), you know what to do to rectify the situation. You aren’t a stranger.”
But Kathy Cowan, director of marketing and communications for the National Association of School Psychologists and a parent of four, said the plain truth is that parents often don’t know the rules and policies at their school. “Parents these days are so busy and may be working two jobs,” she said. “I don’t think it’s because they don’t care, it’s because they are busy.”
Both Cowan and Cargile agreed, however, that parents probably have more power to affect rules and policies at their children’s schools than they realize.
Here’s how parents can flex their muscle at schools around the country, according to the pair:
- Know the rules at school. It takes some work, Cowan said, but that handbook that goes home at the beginning of the school year is worth reading and understanding.
- Make sure your child knows the rules. Once you’ve gone through the handbook, it’s time to sit down with your child and emphasize the rules you think are most important for him or her to keep in mind.
- If a rule seems unfair, contact your school. Whether the issue comes up after reading the school rules or after an incident like the one with Zachary and his camping tool, don’t hesitate to make your opinion known. “It can be difficult for some parents, may be busy or feel intimidated,” Cowan said. “But a really good school administration is open to conversations with parents.”
- The next step is the school’s parent teacher organization. The PTA should have a good working relationship with school officials. “One of the responsibilities of the PTA,” Cowan said,” is to fully understand what the laws are and the consequences.”
- Be prepared to go to your School Board. While changing school rules isn’t impossible, it usually takes a little pushing, Cowan said. Many of the rules started with the School Board, and parents are one of the main constituencies of school boards.
Cowan added that, in the opinion of the school psychologists association, zero-tolerance policies that don’t provide school officials with any discretion aren’t good for schools. Rules that keep kids safe are important, but rules should have clear standards for behaviors and reasonable consequences when the rules are not followed, Cowan said.
For example, a sexual harassment policy that punishes an innocent first-grader being silly on the playground in the exact same way that an 18-year is punished for more serious behavior is absolutely wrong.
“If the parent community doesn’t understand the consequences of zero tolerance and stand up to it, then zero tolerance will live forever,” Cowan predicted. “At its best, zero tolerance is a tool schools use to shield themselves from liability.”
Follow Education.com on Twitter @Education_com
Tags: Education.com, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, School Policies, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: Girls can be mean – Be an educated parent
by Sue Scheff on Oct 14, 2009
Girls can be mean. That has been proven over and over again. Whether it is jealousy, or a sense that one girl is better than another – mean girls bring bullying to another level. Growing up we always heard about “sticks and stone can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.” That is simply not true. Words can hurt emotionally and cause many negative feelings including low self esteem, depression, headaches and other illnesses.
Learn more about the effects of bullying, mean girls and how to help your daughter if she is being harassed by other girls (and boys).
Source: Education.com
What to do About the Mean Girl
If you have a daughter, take the time to read this. It could save her a lot of heartache. Not to mention stomach aches, headaches, missed days of school, lower grades, eating issues and depression.
The sad truth is that every school, whether public, private or parochial, has mean girls. I bet you can still even remember who they are from your school. As a school counselor and mother of three daughters, I know firsthand – both personally and professionally – how much it hurts when girls are targeted by bullies.
The old adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” couldn’t be further from the truth. While boys usually bully through intimidation, girls bully through exclusion, also called relational aggression. Here’s an example of a case of relational bullying, taken from my experience as a school counselor:
“Heather” was miserable because a girl in her class, “Leslie,” was not only saying mean things to her face, but getting the other girls in the class to exclude her with the age old line “You can’t be friends with me, if you’re friends with her.” In our sessions, Heather would complain that she didn’t have anyone to play with because girls were afraid that if they hung around her they’d become Leslie’s next target. Leslie had immense influence over the social dynamic among these girls.
In order to improve the situation, I had to not only reduce the power Leslie had, but empower Heather as well. Here are some ideas that helped, adapted for use by parents:
- Ask for specifics when your daughter hints at bullying. Who? Where? How?
- Tell the principal and classroom teacher the specifics of how she is being bullied. Have them tell other teachers (i.e., gym, art, music), recess aides, hallway monitors and cafeteria staff so that everyone who comes in contact with her can be on the lookout and poised to intervene.
- Explain to her that reporting an incident is not the same as tattling, and have her tell an adult at school when she is being bullied.
- Encourage her to stick with a friend at recess, lunch, in the hallways, on the bus or walking home because she is more likely to be targeted when she is alone.
- Teach her to convey self-confidence by walking confidently, with her head up. Bullies target those they think are weaker.
- Pay attention to how she is sleeping, eating, feeling and doing in school. If you notice changes in any of these areas, have her see the school counselor.
- Arrange opportunities for your daughter to socialize with her friends outside of school to help her maintain a strong social support system.
In Heather’s case, these steps alleviated the problem. But because it’s tougher to catch girl bullies, it’s extremely important for girls to tell an adult if they are being bullied. Unlike boys, who usually bully physically, mean girls often spread rumors, whisper as their target walks by, talk loudly about a party she wasn’t invited to, give her the silent treatment, and as discussed above, tell others not to be friends with her. School personnel are there to help, but in order to do anything they must know a problem exists!
To read more about relational aggression, I recommend the following books:
- Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons
- Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence by Rosalind Wiseman
Shannon Hutton has a Master’s of Education, and currently works as a school counselor for kindergarten through eighth grade. She counsels students on a host of issues, including anger management, peer relationships, divorce, and test anxiety. She is the mother of three children.
Tags: Bullying, Education.com, Mean Girls, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Stop Bullying, Sue Scheff, Teen Depression, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Assessing 21st Century Skills: Tests of the Future
by Sue Scheff on Aug 23, 2009
School is open for many tomorrow, and the contrast from years ago is all about the world of technology and changing the way students are learning today – as well as what they will need to be accepted into the job market of the 21st Century. Education.com offers some great insights for parents of today’s students.
Source: Education.com
Assessing 21st Century Skills: Tests of the Future
By Cheri Lucas
It’s a fast-paced, ever-changing world out there, and the classroom – and eventually the workplace – will require your child to have the skills and knowledge for a new century. What kinds of skills are needed, and how will we know if the next generation of workers has what it takes to succeed?
The 21st-Century Job Market
New technologies and a global economy require an innovative, flexible workforce. In the 21st-century job market, no matter what field your child undertakes, she must know how to analyze and evaluate multiple sources of information and create new ideas from what she absorbs, says Elena Silva, a senior policy analyst at Education Sector and the author of a recent report, Measuring Skills for the 21st Century.
But what are 21st-century skills? Traditionally referred to as “soft” and “interpersonal” skills, they include critical thinking, collaboration, cross-cultural skills, and technology and media literacy.
“While these aren’t new skills, they are essential in ways they weren’t in past centuries,” reports Silva. “Most of the simplest jobs are done by computers, which means today’s workers need to do more than that – they need to think analytically and creatively so they can make sound judgments about everyday problems.”
Furthermore, understanding a wider context when facing an issue – the ability to answer the question, “What does this all mean?” – is crucial. At the core of 21st-century skills are “what students can do with knowledge rather than the individual units of knowledge they have,” reports Silva.
A greater danger, warns Silva, is tacking on “21st-century skill” to any future initiative. While there are currently several education reform bills that use the term, it’s vital for educators and parents to understand what it means to gauge whether a new program or assessment test may be effective.
Cheri Lucas, a writer in San Francisco, is interested in media and visual literacy and finding ways to blur the line between education and entertainment for kids. Holding a BA in screenwriting and an MFA in creative nonfiction, she worked with language arts students at Corte Madera Middle School for six years. She has three nephews, Lucas, Maverick, and Gunnar.
Follow Education.com on Twitter at @Education_com
Tags: Academics, Back to School, Education.com, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Self-Advocacy in the Classroom
by Sue Scheff on Aug 19, 2009
A very timely article was just posted on the fantastic website of Education.com about helping your child help themselves when they start school. Here are some educational tips and resources, take the time to be an educated parent.
Source: Education.com
Take Charge! Self-Advocacy in the Classroom
By: Merry Gordon
As a parent, you want what’s best for your child, and that includes a solid education. But recent sweeping budget cuts at the federal and state level may have rendered your child just one face in a crowd of 30—or even 40—other kids clamoring for the attention of one teacher. How can you make sure your kid isn’t just another name on the roster? Now more than ever, children need to learn how to become self-advocates in the classroom. This term has been more often applied to special needs students, but all students can benefit from the concept of self-advocacy. When children can communicate what they need, what their resources are and what they can do to achieve their goals, they become partners instead of pawns in the academic experience.
Step One: Self-Inventory
The first step in teaching children self-advocacy is teaching them to first understand themselves. Help children take inventory of their strengths and weaknesses. These can be social, academic, or even physical—anything that impacts their classroom performance. For example, perhaps your sixth grader is a math whiz, but he struggles to see the board at times because of vision issues. Your high schooler may feel competent at poetry, but challenged when it comes to term papers. Often, self-analysis is one of the hardest steps in self-advocacy: it is difficult for children to evaluate themselves both honestly and thoroughly, and sometimes young children don’t even have the vocabulary to talk about their strengths and weaknesses in this way.
If children are having a hard time assessing themselves, consider looking to a classroom teacher for input. This may not necessitate a separate conference; instead, it might be as easy as looking at the teacher’s most recent comments (both complimentary and critical) on a report card or series of essays. For young children who struggle with self-assessment because of language barriers, try asking simple feeling questions: “How do you feel in science class?” If the answer is “frustrated” or “scared,” there may be an issue worth looking into.
Finally, help your children set realistic and specific goals based on the things that challenge them most: “I want to get better at math” is too vague and difficult to measure, but “I want to memorize my multiplication tables through 12 and do well on the next test” is specific, reasonable and easy to assess. Support your child in writing these goals down in a notebook or on a calendar for future reference. This encourages your child to take ownership of his or her education, an important cognitive shift in becoming a better learner.
Step Two: Locating Resources
Once you have helped your child identify his or her strong points and challenges, it’s time to identify potential resources. It’s a good idea to jot these down by the goals, as the two go hand in hand. If your child is a special needs student, you as a parent will want to be aware of his legal rights as established by federal law—this will give you some idea as to what kind of entitlements are guaranteed to your child in the classroom. But all children are entitled to a good education, regardless of whether or not they are on IEP or 504 plans. Have your child do some research on what resources are available in the classroom—does your son’s 1st grade teacher do before-school tutoring? Does your daughter’s chemistry professor keep a web page with links to help children with difficult concepts? Is there a retesting policy? Many schools sponsor after-school tutoring or open library hours, too; check your school’s website or handbook for information on what is scheduled. It’s important to keep your children as involved as possible in locating resources, as personal involvement increases their accountability.
Identifying support beyond the classroom teacher and school can also be helpful. Perhaps your child knows that a friend is doing well in a class that she is struggling in; this person might be a valuable ally as a peer tutor. Local libraries, if they don’t have study groups formally scheduled, will often at least have separate study rooms that offer a quiet place to work. Outside agencies such as Kaplan or Sylvan may offer specialized academic services (SAT and ACT prep among them) in your community—but for a price. Talk to your child. Keep all options open, and see what seems to make him or her most comfortable.
Step Three: Taking Action
With goals and resources in mind, your child is now fully equipped to take action. The first part of that involves being able to communicate his or her expectations and goals to the classroom teacher. Kids might be more comfortable doing this in writing rather than approaching the teacher face-to-face; either way, it is important for them that they are given the chance to articulate their academic needs instead of depending on a parent to do it for them. Encourage your child to be as specific as possible when approaching a teacher: saying “I’m bad at English and I need help” isn’t as likely to get results as “I’m having a hard time with verbs—can I come in for tutoring on Tuesday morning? Also, it’s difficult to see the board sometimes, so could I be moved to the front?” Educators who see that a student is self-aware, motivated and able to set precise goals are almost always eager to help. This kind of behavior gets kids noticed—and in the best possible way. Teachers are not mind-readers, and all too often (especially in larger classes), children’s needs are often overlooked simply because the teacher is unaware that problem even exists.
Once your child has enlisted his or her classroom teacher’s aid, it’s time to start taking action. This means following through—referencing the written goals and resources, showing up for tutoring, managing time wisely, etc. Kids who have gone through the entire process of self-analysis, goal-setting and communicating with teachers are likely to be successful in meeting those goals.
Step Four: Evaluating
Too many times parent-teacher conferences consist of just that—the parent, and the teacher. But children themselves are the most integral part of the equation of classroom success. Take your children to conferences, help them to reflect on their goal-setting with their instructors present and encourage them to (politely, of course) speak up and be heard in the classroom. They know themselves, and it’s this kind of academic awareness and confidence that can be the difference between being a name on the roster and a full participant in a personal educational partnership.
M.L. Gordon has taught a wide range of subjects, from seventh grade drama to college-level English. She has a Master’s in secondary education and currently teaches high school language arts in Arizona.
Identifying support beyond the classroom teacher and school can also be helpful. Perhaps your child knows that a friend is doing well in a class that she is struggling in; this person might be a valuable ally as a peer tutor. Local libraries, if they don’t have study groups formally scheduled, will often at least have separate study rooms that offer a quiet place to work. Outside agencies such as Kaplan or Sylvan may offer specialized academic services (SAT and ACT prep among them) in your community—but for a price. Talk to your child. Keep all options open, and see what seems to make him or her most comfortable.
Step Three: Taking Action
With goals and resources in mind, your child is now fully equipped to take action. The first part of that involves being able to communicate his or her expectations and goals to the classroom teacher. Kids might be more comfortable doing this in writing rather than approaching the teacher face-to-face; either way, it is important for them that they are given the chance to articulate their academic needs instead of depending on a parent to do it for them. Encourage your child to be as specific as possible when approaching a teacher: saying “I’m bad at English and I need help” isn’t as likely to get results as “I’m having a hard time with verbs—can I come in for tutoring on Tuesday morning? Also, it’s difficult to see the board sometimes, so could I be moved to the front?” Educators who see that a student is self-aware, motivated and able to set precise goals are almost always eager to help. This kind of behavior gets kids noticed—and in the best possible way. Teachers are not mind-readers, and all too often (especially in larger classes), children’s needs are often overlooked simply because the teacher is unaware that problem even exists.
Once your child has enlisted his or her classroom teacher’s aid, it’s time to start taking action. This means following through—referencing the written goals and resources, showing up for tutoring, managing time wisely, etc. Kids who have gone through the entire process of self-analysis, goal-setting and communicating with teachers are likely to be successful in meeting those goals.
Step Four: Evaluating
Too many times parent-teacher conferences consist of just that—the parent, and the teacher. But children themselves are the most integral part of the equation of classroom success. Take your children to conferences, help them to reflect on their goal-setting with their instructors present and encourage them to (politely, of course) speak up and be heard in the classroom. They know themselves, and it’s this kind of academic awareness and confidence that can be the difference between being a name on the roster and a full participant in a personal educational partnership.
Tags: Back to School, Education, Education.com, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: The Difference Between Big and Small Schools
by Sue Scheff on Aug 12, 2009
What is best for your child? This is a another great article by Education.com and offers two perspectives that can help you better understand the differences between large and smaller schools. I have seen success in both, depending on the child, the size of the school is an individual decision.
The Difference Between Big and Small Schools
by Merry Gordon
“Supersize me!” While this approach may be a deal in the world of fast food, is it equally effective in education? Or is there something to be said for the iconic one-room schoolhouse of the 19th century? No real concurrence exists on optimal school size, and both small and large schools offer experiences that can add to your child’s academic experience.
Good Things Come in Small Packages: What’s So Great About Small Schools?
It’s a matter of logic: smaller schools typically have smaller classes, and low teacher-student ratios translate into more focus on your child and his education. From a cognitive standpoint, scaling back class size is good because it offers the opportunity to delve deeper into the curriculum and move through it at a faster pace. In fact, many studies show improvement in instructional quality and academic success at small schools. It’s equally beneficial from a social standpoint—fewer students in the room make class participation inescapable, but also usually less intimidating. The size of such schools actually promotes belongingness; it becomes difficult for kids to go unnoticed and slip through the proverbial cracks. The Chicago Public School system small schools website puts it this way: “Smaller numbers of students, a more intimate and personalized learning environment, and a cohesive vision among teachers characterize small schools.”
Smaller schools operate more like a community than a corporation. They frequently have a greater sense of unity, especially if they are built around a particular belief system (religious, educational, cultural, philosophical, etc.) shared by the parents and faculty alike. Another reason for this close-knit feel is that there are often more opportunities for kids to participate. Take, for example, a typical high school sports team. In a big school, competition is fierce for a coveted few spots; those students who make the team gain a personal investment in the school, while those who don’t make the roster—and their families, by extension—may walk away feeling marginalized. In smaller schools the chance for student participation is recurrently higher because students are required rather than redundant; as a result, children in smaller schools and their families have more of a stake in their school.
Larger than Life: What’s So Great About Big Schools?
On the other hand, larger schools can be equally advantageous for different reasons. One of the primary arguments for large schools is the curricular diversity, or variety of classes, they offer. While small schools may only be economically equipped to offer Spanish, for instance, larger schools might offer instruction in Japanese, German and French as well, or offer more opportunities for gifted education, Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate coursework. Large schools generally have more to offer students in the way of extracurricular activities too. Take, for example, G. Holmes Braddock Senior High School in Dade County, Florida. Over 4500 students strong, it boasts more than 60 clubs and activities that range from salsa dance to Amnesty International—and that’s not even counting their sports programs. This large school also delivers on academics, ranking within Newsweek’s top 5% of high schools in the U.S. for its graduation rate and Advanced Placement/International Baccalaureate test scores. Big schools are also succeeding at the elementary level. Grenada Elementary School in Grenada, Mississippi, has a Kidzeum for their 1800 K-3 students. The Kidzeum, “the first full-scale school-based children’s museum,” according to the Grenada website, has been honored by Business Week and American School Board Journal for excellence in education. Clearly, big things are happening at big schools.
Big schools also tend to have more diversity in their student body. A varied representation of ethnicities, creeds and races at a school can mean more multiethnic, philosophical and interracial dialog. Historically, the benefits of racial and ethnic diversity in education have been viewed in this way, as explained in 2007 by the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights: “Recent studies have shown that students of all racial or ethnic groups who attend more diverse schools have a higher comfort level with members of racial and ethnic groups different than their own, an increased sense of civic awareness, and a greater desire to live and work in multiracial settings relative to their segregated peers.” As we move toward a more global marketplace, this ease with diversity can benefit kids in both their future personal and business relationships.
Size alone does not determine a school’s success, but it certainly can be a contributing factor to the success of your child. Whether big or small, embrace what your child’s school has to offer and make the most of the upcoming school year.
Follow Education.com on Twitter at @Education_com
Tags: Education.com, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, School Sizes, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: The Transition to College – Parenting Tips
by Sue Scheff on Aug 06, 2009
It is that time of year again, whether your child is starting school, or your young adult “teen” is starting their next step of their education. Education.com is one of the most comprehensive websites with excellent articles, tips, resources, books and more to help you be the best parent you can be.
I just found this fantastic tips sheet and I am sure it will help many parents out there that are preparing to send their teen into their exciting new venture – called: college.
The Transition to College: Five Tips for Parents
A lot happens between being accepted to college and the first day of class. Now is the perfect time for parents to prepare, get organized and plan ahead. Below are 5 tips for parents with college bound students.
How to pay a tuition bill you might never see. By now you should have already received and paid the college’s first semester tuition bill. Some colleges and universities are still mailing the bill to students at their home address, but most are now electronically posting bills to the student’s college account. If you haven’t seen the bill, your child will need to access the bill through their electronic college student account, print a copy and give it to you for payment if you are helping with this cost. Students can also grant parents access to this account. It’s very important to note that the “date due” is not considered the postmark of the payment but rather the date the monies have been processed through the college financial system. This may take several days with cash payments sometimes taking 2 days.
You don’t need to pay for health insurance twice. Read the itemized college tuition bill carefully before paying it. Often there is a health insurance charge that can be opted out of. Contact your health insurance company now to determine if your child will be covered while away at college. If so, ask for a separate insurance card in the child’s name or a letter stating that you have coverage. You’ll need this documentation to opt out of any insurance coverage fees that some colleges automatically assess on the tuition bill.
Create a health care proxy. This document can designate you as the health care agent for your college bound student. The HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) requires all adult (or anyone over 18) medical information and records be strictly confidential. As a college parent, this means that you will not be able to voice your opinion to any clinician about your child’s medical care should they get sick or become hospitalized while out of town. Without a copy of this form, you will also not have access to their x-rays or other medical records that your child might ask you to procure for them. Your child will need to fill out this form and file it with the appropriate college office and you will need to have an additional copy at home that you can fax to doctors and hospitals.
Create a budget with your student. Now is the perfect time to discuss money management with your college bound child and to understand how your child’s college cash account will work. Many colleges and universities now allow students to use their student ID cards as “money cards.” As parents you can load an account with a preset amount of money. The card is used like a debit card with washing machines, book stores, convenience stores and even select coffee shops allowing the student to “swipe the card” through their register systems with the cost deducted from the existing account balance. At many colleges and universities, when the money draws down to a $0.00 balance, the card becomes a “credit card” allowing the student to keep charging – sometimes up to $1,200 dollars. Students need to monitor their spending and especially this account and be aware of this provision.
Have your child communicate with her new roommate Dorm rooms are small and there is never enough room for everything that is brought in that first day. Have your student and the new roommate communicate and decide ahead of time what items they can share rather than duplicate and possibly not purchase at all. Examples of such items are refrigerators, microwaves, fans and TV. Also remember that computers can serve as DVD players , cell phones are wonderful alarm clocks and most colleges have computer labs scattered on campus with printers where you child can use their “print allowance.”
Marie Carr, author of “Sending Your Child to College“, is the mother of 3 college daughters who has spent the last 7 years sending them to 4 different schools and studying abroad. She has been an active participant on 3 college parent councils and coached hundred of parents of college bound students.Tags: College Tips, Education.com, Parenting, Parenting Books, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Should Students and Teachers Be Online “Friends”?
by Sue Scheff on Jul 13, 2009
What an interesting article from Education.com - and a question that I am sure many parents ask themselves. I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer, personally it is sort of like having our Facebook page for our family and friends, then you have your business associates wanting to befriend. It is definitely something to think about. Personally, maybe the teachers want their private lives to remain private? Great article from Education.com as always!
Source: Education.com
by Cheri Lucas
In the virtual world, the definition of a student-teacher relationship is hazy, particularly on social networks like Facebook and MySpace, where adults and teens share the same forums to connect and keep in touch with friends, classmates, relatives, and co-workers. Chances are, your teen has already found her teachers on Facebook and sent friend requests to join their networks.
But is it appropriate for your child to “friend” a teacher on a social network? Terrence Jegaraj, a senior at Interlochen Arts Academy in Michigan, primarily adds former teachers or instructors from summer programs in which he has participated. “I am friends on Facebook with a current teacher of mine, but there are teachers who tell us specifically not to add them until we graduate,” says Jegaraj.
Many of the teachers we asked, in fact, were reluctant to add students on Facebook. While a teacher can use some networking sites, such as Twitter, to extend a classroom discussion or offer quick homework assistance in 140 characters or less, networks like Facebook and MySpace easily blur the student-teacher relationship because of the personal information made available on profiles.
“I think that students and teachers have different personas in the classroom than outside of it, and the two should not necessarily be mixed,” says Heather Steed, a recent graduate of Florida State University in Tallahassee, Fla. As a student herself, Steed never added instructors on a social network until she completed their class.
“There needs to be a certain distance between teachers and students in order to maintain respect,” adds Rabbi Avi Schwartz, an educator at Magen David Yeshiva in Brooklyn, N.Y. “A teacher needs to be a role model, mentor, and advice giver – not a ‘friend.’” When a high school student gains access into a teacher’s network of friends and acquaintances and is able to view their family photos, for instance, the student-teacher dynamic is altered. “Friending students provides more information than you are willing to provide in an educational setting,” says Patrick Sweeney, an adjunct professor of history and government in Houston, Texas.
But student-teacher relationships can be transparent and visible to others online, which may have its pros and cons. Carlton Brown, a former community college instructor in Pittsburg, Pa, says interaction on a social network may be viewed and evaluated by classmates and others on the website, which, in turn, may deter inappropriate behavior. “Parents also have the opportunity to review and make judgments,” says Brown. If you have your own account on Facebook, you may opt to join your child’s teacher’s classroom group as a parent “chaperone,” for example, to supervise the discussion. (Based on current research, though, teens flock to Facebook because it’s mainly a parent-free space, so this type of supervision may not work for all families.)
Alternatives exist, however, for teachers and students who wish to enhance learning outside of the classroom via the Internet. Schwartz has helped many students with homework or studying via instant messaging, and even keeps in contact with parents this way. Other tools – such as online classrooms on sites such as Blackboard and forums within a school district’s website or teacher’s own webpage – make student-teacher interaction possible on the Web. Of course, don’t rule out more traditional methods to foster close student-teacher connections. “Appropriate relationships between teachers and students can be built by attending office hours or emailing for class-related advice,” says Steed.
While students may be eager to find and friend their teachers on Facebook, many of them understand the implied rules and boundaries of this virtual environment. “I do understand why my teachers do not want me to add them until I graduate,” says Jegaraj. “I think being friends with a teacher on Facebook while being their student may close the gap between the teacher-student relationship, and some teachers may not want this to happen while they are still teaching their students.”
Ultimately, sites like Facebook are social environments. Teachers guide students in a professional capacity, and being social doesn’t seem like part of the job description.
Cheri Lucas has her Master’s of Fine Arts in Creative Nonfiction. She was a writing aid at Corte Madera Middle School for six years. She is currently working as a freelance writer in San Francisco.
In the virtual world, the definition of a student-teacher relationship is hazy, particularly on social networks like Facebook and MySpace, where adults and teens share the same forums to connect and keep in touch with friends, classmates, relatives, and co-workers. Chances are, your teen has already found her teachers on Facebook and sent friend requests to join their networks.
But is it appropriate for your child to “friend” a teacher on a social network? Terrence Jegaraj, a senior at Interlochen Arts Academy in Michigan, primarily adds former teachers or instructors from summer programs in which he has participated. “I am friends on Facebook with a current teacher of mine, but there are teachers who tell us specifically not to add them until we graduate,” says Jegaraj.
Many of the teachers we asked, in fact, were reluctant to add students on Facebook. While a teacher can use some networking sites, such as Twitter, to extend a classroom discussion or offer quick homework assistance in 140 characters or less, networks like Facebook and MySpace easily blur the student-teacher relationship because of the personal information made available on profiles.
“I think that students and teachers have different personas in the classroom than outside of it, and the two should not necessarily be mixed,” says Heather Steed, a recent graduate of Florida State University in Tallahassee, Fla. As a student herself, Steed never added instructors on a social network until she completed their class.
“There needs to be a certain distance between teachers and students in order to maintain respect,” adds Rabbi Avi Schwartz, an educator at Magen David Yeshiva in Brooklyn, N.Y. “A teacher needs to be a role model, mentor, and advice giver – not a ‘friend.’” When a high school student gains access into a teacher’s network of friends and acquaintances and is able to view their family photos, for instance, the student-teacher dynamic is altered. “Friending students provides more information than you are willing to provide in an educational setting,” says Patrick Sweeney, an adjunct professor of history and government in Houston, Texas.
But student-teacher relationships can be transparent and visible to others online, which may have its pros and cons. Carlton Brown, a former community college instructor in Pittsburg, Pa, says interaction on a social network may be viewed and evaluated by classmates and others on the website, which, in turn, may deter inappropriate behavior. “Parents also have the opportunity to review and make judgments,” says Brown. If you have your own account on Facebook, you may opt to join your child’s teacher’s classroom group as a parent “chaperone,” for example, to supervise the discussion. (Based on current research, though, teens flock to Facebook because it’s mainly a parent-free space, so this type of supervision may not work for all families.)
Alternatives exist, however, for teachers and students who wish to enhance learning outside of the classroom via the Internet. Schwartz has helped many students with homework or studying via instant messaging, and even keeps in contact with parents this way. Other tools – such as online classrooms on sites such as Blackboard and forums within a school district’s website or teacher’s own webpage – make student-teacher interaction possible on the Web. Of course, don’t rule out more traditional methods to foster close student-teacher connections. “Appropriate relationships between teachers and students can be built by attending office hours or emailing for class-related advice,” says Steed.
While students may be eager to find and friend their teachers on Facebook, many of them understand the implied rules and boundaries of this virtual environment. “I do understand why my teachers do not want me to add them until I graduate,” says Jegaraj. “I think being friends with a teacher on Facebook while being their student may close the gap between the teacher-student relationship, and some teachers may not want this to happen while they are still teaching their students.”
Ultimately, sites like Facebook are social environments. Teachers guide students in a professional capacity, and being social doesn’t seem like part of the job description.
Tags: Education.com, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Social Networking, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Kids and Credit Cards: 7 Things Parents Need to Know
by Sue Scheff on Jul 11, 2009
What a great topic for today – teaching our kids (especially teens) financial responsibility. Parents need to be proactive in talking to your kids about budgeting, credit cards and saving! Education.com has some great advice for parents on this important subject. Take the time to learn more.
Source: Education.com
by Carlee Gomes
For 21st century teens, credit cards have become a rite of passage – like cell phones and drivers’ licenses. Teens are quickly becoming one of the largest target markets for credit card companies, with more and more youth culture campaigns popping up each year. That’s because credit card companies know that teenagers are consumers, forming one of the largest population demographics in the country and spending upwards of $200 billion annually. But, with a global credit crisis underway and teens racking up more debt than ever, how can parents ensure that kids are prepared for the spending power of plastic?
The U.S. Census reported the amount of credit card debt outstanding in 2006 had reached a total of $886 billion and the projected amount of credit card debt outstanding for 2010 is a whopping 1.2 trillion dollars – nearly a 50% increase in credit card debt over the course of four years. And, while the need for financial education and fiscal responsibility among kids and adults alike has never seemed more important, the financial know-how of American teens is falling, while their use of plastic climbs. One study by Jump$tart Coalition for Personal Financial Literacy found that almost 35 percent of high school seniors use a credit card, but that non-credit card users were more financially literate than those who pay with plastic.
The good news is that more people are realizing the importance of educating today’s youth about financial responsibility. Chad Foster, author of Financial Literacy for Teens, reports that a record 21 states are now mandating personal finance education in public schools. “We must break the cycle of financial illiteracy,” says Foster, who stresses that education is the key to ensuring kids’ fiscal responsibility and security. And lawmakers are stepping up to the plate.
On May 22, President Obama signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure (CARD) Act of 2009 into law, which seeks to change the ways in which credit cards are marketed and managed. The law bans unfair rate increases, requires plain language in plain sight for disclosures and agreements, increases accountability, and institutes protections for students and young people. Among the many provisions included is a section addressing age restrictions, banning credit cards for people under the age of 21 unless they have an adult co-signer or are able to show proof of funds required to pay off debts. Moreover, college students are now required to get permission from their parents or guardians to increase credit limits on joint accounts they hold with adults.
While the new law institutes a number of protections for students and young adults, it’s still more important than ever that your child learns how to be credit card savvy. Want to get started? Here are 7 tips for how you and your child can jump start a valuable financial education together and build a solid foundation for the future:
- Start Talking.
It’s important that teens understand how to live within the constraints of their financial realities. John Parfrey of the National Endowment for Financial Education’s High School Financial Planning Program says parents should talk to their children about the difference between needs and wants and the concept of delayed gratification. It’s important to emphasize living within your means, he says, and never charging more than you can pay off at any given time. That means that credit cards should be used only as a supplement to cash, not as a substitute. - Debit or Credit?
Laura Levine, Executive Director of Jump$tart Coalition, urges that parents and kids be careful not to think of debit cards and prepaid credit cards as “credit cards with training wheels,” because these kinds of cards don’t give kids the relevant experience with credit they need (such as monthly payments, interest rates, late fees, etc.). But Parfrey argues that starting your teen off with a prepaid credit card has the potential to help your child gain valuable experience with important financial concepts without all of the risks. No matter what kind of plastic first falls into your child’s hands, however, there must be a healthy balance between parental involvement and teenage independence. - Is Allowance Allowed?
An allowance is a great opportunity to introduce your child to the world of money, while keeping it relevant to her life. Foster stresses that when doling out allowance, it’s important to make a correlation between money and value, relating your kids’ new-found funds to something real by giving an allowance as payment for a task completed such as taking out the trash or simply keeping the bedroom clean. - Hard-Earned Lessons
Kids who work a part-time job throughout their academic careers are better prepared when it comes to financial literacy. “It’s imperative that teens work part-time,” says Foster. “It’s an experience that enables them to earn money that’s their own, and learn how to manage that money.” Once the money in their pockets is money that they’ve earned, kids start thinking twice about what to do with it. - Start Asking
It’s important to provide your child with the time and space to ask questions and to answer some, too. Levine suggests sitting down and reading the first statement (whether it’s for a credit, debit or savings account) together, then asking your child some questions. Going over each and every purchase your child makes is not the purpose of this time together; you don’t want to make your child feel like you’re invading her privacy. Instead, ask her questions such as what she thinks an appropriate monthly payment might be, what an interest rate is, and what she thinks the difference is between having credit and accruing debt. - Make a Spending Plan
Foster also emphasizes the importance of making a “spending plan,” which might be a lot easier for your teen to swallow than the word “budget.” Teens need to practice “watchful spending,” says Foster, “and track every dime they spend.” Over a period of ninety days or so, they will be able to see where their money went, and will then be able to make important judgment calls and decisions about the smartest way to spend their money in the future. With a spending plan, your teen will learn financial responsibility while still maintaining a sense of control over her own life. - “Building” Credit
Nowadays, there can be pressure on teens to start “building their credit” early so that by the time they rent their first apartment or apply for their first loan, they’ve got something on record. But both Levine and Foster argue that “building credit” is a concept that’s largely misunderstood. Foster argues that teens need to have a good payment record (a record of buying something and paying for it) as opposed to having a record of debt. A good payment record does not necessarily mean a credit card; it can be anything from a cell phone bill to a car insurance statement. Levine says that what’s most important is that teenagers understand enough about building credit to know what will hurt their credit, but they don’t need to be actively and purposefully “building” their credit. More importantly, teenagers should know the crucial difference between credit, which is the amount of money you have available “on loan” and debt, which is the amount of money you owe.
The most important thing parents can do for their kids’ financial future is to set a good example. “First and foremost, parents need to be role models,” says Foster. “Kids are looking at their parents today (in the midst of this financial crisis) and they are seeing poor spending habits, seeing them with mortgages they can’t afford, swamped in debt and spending beyond their means and this is what they’re being taught.” Levine agrees: “Parents need to remember that they are the first and best teachers about money,” says Levine, who says that even those parents who have made financial mistakes of their own can still positively affect their children’s financial education.
“Parents are in a position to do an awful lot other than simply teach,” says Levine, who says that going to school board meetings, voting in your local elections, and meeting with teachers are all ways parents can incorporate financial literacy into their children’s lives. You don’t have to be a CPA to set your child on the path to economic enlightenment. There are things you both can do to ensure that if and when she does get her hands on some plastic, she knows how to use it.
Tags: Education.com, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teens and Finances
Sue Scheff: Summer Learning: Advice from Teachers
by Sue Scheff on Jul 03, 2009
O-kay, summer is officially here, however that doesn’t mean learning has to stop. Again, Education.com has some great articles and advice to help you keep your kids academically motivated! Also a reminder, don’t forget their Summer Activities Challenge 2009!!!
Source: Education.com
Summer Learning: Advice from Teachers
by Skila Brown
It’s every parent’s secret fear. That your child’s brain is really turning to mush this summer. All that pool water is making anything she happened to learn last year dissolve quicker than you think.
Take a deep breath. And read on. We’ve asked some experts – real teachers – exactly what your child should be doing every week all summer long to make sure he is ready for school in the fall.
“First and foremost, kids need rest,” says Michelle Hamilton, a second grade teacher in St. Louis, Missouri. “Summer break was designed for a reason. Because kids – and teachers – need that time to recharge their batteries. Parents need to make sure their children have lots of down time over the summer. This helps make the start of school more exciting in the fall.”
Though parents know this, it seems difficult for many to find the balance between structured camp settings and classes, and plain old free time for kids. Having both is good. Finding the balance is hard. Whatever day camps you plan for your child to attend this summer, make sure their days are filled with fun activities: swimming, sports, camping, crafts. The goal is to prevent this from seeming like school of any sort.
But what about learning? With the plethora of workbooks and educational materials targeted especially for summer, parents can feel the pressure that their child needs to be filling out worksheets in order to stay ahead. Instead, parents can focus on giving their child fun coloring pages, creating arts and crafts projects, and playing outdoor games that offer positive, no-pressure recreation with a dash of learning.
Here are some other ideas from teachers we surveyed:
- Read. Read to your child. Have your child read to you. Just read. Though it may sound obvious, it is the most highly-recommended activity by teachers. Older students likely get suggested summer reading lists from their schools. Make sure to monitor their progress for the whole summer, preventing students from waiting until a week before school resumes to pick those up. Younger readers can’t afford to take a break from reading. It can set their fluency and comprehension back, which can make them feel frustrated and unhappy about reading. The key is to read small amounts every day. A first grader, for example, should spend 5-10 minutes reading to a grown-up 5 days a week. And lots of other time listening as the grown-up reads to him. Need some great book picks? Check out our Summer Reading section.
- Target any area that was difficult for your child and use the summer as a time to catch-up. Did you notice he struggled with counting coins? Make sure to pull out the piggy bank this summer. Was writing painful and lagging? Buy a blank journal and model all the fun ways to use it. The key here is to remove pressure from the practice by incorporating learning into real-world situations.
- A little counting doesn’t hurt. For elementary students, math facts are easy to embed in their brains over the summer. Adding, multiplying, whatever the level – find a way to make a game out of it and use that time in the car to get in a little practice. Little being the key word. While you don’t want to go overboard, a few minutes spent reviewing each week can keep those numbers active in their brains. Games such as Multiplication Math War, Terrific Tens Go Fish, and Tic-tac-toe with an Added Twist make for great summer activities.
- Help your child learn about what she likes. If you have a horse-lover, summer is the perfect time for lessons. A child who thinks pyramids are cool might like to check out some books on Egypt from the library. Throughout the school year, kids learn about what they are told to learn about. Summer is the perfect time for learning to happen in a more organic way. Ask your child what she’s curious about. You may be surprised at her answer.
It’s always a good idea to ask your child and your child’s teacher what they think she should be doing over the summer. Together, you can make a plan for a summer that’s filled with loads of fun, plenty of rest, and kid-centered learning.
Skila Brown has taught kindergarten and third grade. She now writes and homeschools her three children in Lexington, Kentucky.
It’s every parent’s secret fear. That your child’s brain is really turning to mush this summer. All that pool water is making anything she happened to learn last year dissolve quicker than you think.
Take a deep breath. And read on. We’ve asked some experts – real teachers – exactly what your child should be doing every week all summer long to make sure he is ready for school in the fall.
“First and foremost, kids need rest,” says Michelle Hamilton, a second grade teacher in St. Louis, Missouri. “Summer break was designed for a reason. Because kids – and teachers – need that time to recharge their batteries. Parents need to make sure their children have lots of down time over the summer. This helps make the start of school more exciting in the fall.”
Though parents know this, it seems difficult for many to find the balance between structured camp settings and classes, and plain old free time for kids. Having both is good. Finding the balance is hard. Whatever day camps you plan for your child to attend this summer, make sure their days are filled with fun activities: swimming, sports, camping, crafts. The goal is to prevent this from seeming like school of any sort.
But what about learning? With the plethora of workbooks and educational materials targeted especially for summer, parents can feel the pressure that their child needs to be filling out worksheets in order to stay ahead. Instead, parents can focus on giving their child fun coloring pages, creating arts and crafts projects, and playing outdoor games that offer positive, no-pressure recreation with a dash of learning.
Here are some other ideas from teachers we surveyed:
- Read. Read to your child. Have your child read to you. Just read. Though it may sound obvious, it is the most highly-recommended activity by teachers. Older students likely get suggested summer reading lists from their schools. Make sure to monitor their progress for the whole summer, preventing students from waiting until a week before school resumes to pick those up. Younger readers can’t afford to take a break from reading. It can set their fluency and comprehension back, which can make them feel frustrated and unhappy about reading. The key is to read small amounts every day. A first grader, for example, should spend 5-10 minutes reading to a grown-up 5 days a week. And lots of other time listening as the grown-up reads to him. Need some great book picks? Check out our Summer Reading section.
- Target any area that was difficult for your child and use the summer as a time to catch-up. Did you notice he struggled with counting coins? Make sure to pull out the piggy bank this summer. Was writing painful and lagging? Buy a blank journal and model all the fun ways to use it. The key here is to remove pressure from the practice by incorporating learning into real-world situations.
- A little counting doesn’t hurt. For elementary students, math facts are easy to embed in their brains over the summer. Adding, multiplying, whatever the level – find a way to make a game out of it and use that time in the car to get in a little practice. Little being the key word. While you don’t want to go overboard, a few minutes spent reviewing each week can keep those numbers active in their brains. Games such as Multiplication Math War, Terrific Tens Go Fish, and Tic-tac-toe with an Added Twist make for great summer activities.
- Help your child learn about what she likes. If you have a horse-lover, summer is the perfect time for lessons. A child who thinks pyramids are cool might like to check out some books on Egypt from the library. Throughout the school year, kids learn about what they are told to learn about. Summer is the perfect time for learning to happen in a more organic way. Ask your child what she’s curious about. You may be surprised at her answer.
It’s always a good idea to ask your child and your child’s teacher what they think she should be doing over the summer. Together, you can make a plan for a summer that’s filled with loads of fun, plenty of rest, and kid-centered learning.
Tags: Education.com, Parenting, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Summer Activities, Teachers, Teen Help
