Sue Scheff: Addict vs Enabler – Are you either one of them? Are you loving your child to death?
by Sue Scheff on Apr 14, 2010
“You are loving your child to death” is a common phrase we will hear professionals say when a parent has become an enabler to their child, whether adult or teenager, that has become or on the road to becoming an addict.
“But she/he needs a place to stay, they are hungry, they promised they will change – this time” is a common phrase we hear a parent say to others that are attempting to help that family.
As the author of “Wit’s End, Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-ControlTeen“, and a Parent Advocate, I speak with parents of struggling teens regularly. Parents in denial cannot see they are only hurting their teen and prolonging their recovery by continuing to rescue them and make excuses for them. The number of times I hear parents say how smart their child is, or they know he/she will change, it is just a typical teen, etc – all this could be true, however do you want to risk it isn’t being a phase?
Interventionist Kristina Wandzilak shares her story of addiction and the experience that eventually changed her life. Watch video here. This is worth 4 minutes of all parents that are struggling with an at risk teen or addict child.
Addicted is one of the most powerful and realistic reality shows that has recently hit the air waves. This show exposes how an addict is not only destroying their life, they are affecting their entire family and what is left of their circle of friends.
Stealing their parents valuables, siblings and parents putting bolt locks on their bedroom doors, the addict is sometimes literally selling their body for sex for money for their next high. Even being arrested doesn’t effect some addicts. Many have been through numerous rehabs only to fall back again.
That is why this is an entire family that needs to work this process, not just the addict. The family needs to change their habits, their enabling, their thought process. They need to accept that they cannot control, help or force their child to change. Sometimes hitting rock bottom isn’t far enough.
The addict needs to make that decision to change, the family needs to make that decision to change. If the family doesn’t change, the addict will continue to feed off them and vice versa.
As hard as it may be, until the family let’s go, steps away from denial and enabling; the sooner the addict will realize there is no more rescue net. Many fear their addict may die or commit suicide, God forbid that happens, however it is not the parents fault. If you truly think about it – by enabling them you are helping them toward one less day of life. There is nothing good or healthy that can come from addiction.
So parents, stop being in denial. Watch Addicted, learn you are not alone. Reach out, get help. Even if your child doesn’t want it, do it for your family.
Stop making excuses and save a life.
Resource for parents of troubled teens: www.helpyourteens.com
Resource for parents of adult children: www.peachford.com
Order Wit’s End today and watch Addicted. Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
Tags: Addict, Addicted, Drug Abuse, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Troubled Teens, Wits End
Sue Scheff: Addiction Affects the Entire Family
by Sue Scheff on Mar 24, 2010
If you have a family member or friend that has an addiction, you know first hand the stress and toll this takes on the entire family as well as close friends that care about them.
Addiction is an obsession in that the addict’s entire life becomes focused on getting more of the drug. In the same way, family members of the addict become obsessed with the addict: Will he come home tonight? Will he get violent? Will he go into work? Will he lose his job? Will we lose the house?
Family members tend to adapt their personas in an attempt to handle the dysfunction that the addict has created. The caretaker or enabler, for example, makes it possible for the addict to keep functioning in addiction. He may give the addict money, provide a home and food, bail the addict out of jail and in general provide a safety that the addict can depend on no matter how violent, irresponsible or hurtful the behavior.
The caretaker role is just one example. Others include the hero, who makes sure that everything appears to be fine to outsiders, the jester who tries to make light of the situation, the ghost who never comments or makes his needs known. Family members of addicts become so focused on the addict’s problems that they often lose themselves along the way. Source: ProjectKnow.com
As the reality world of television expands, the latest addition is “Addicted” on TLC. Tune in to Addicted, a one-hour docu-series produced by Asylum Entertainment, that follows the lives of individuals struggling with addiction as they work with interventionist Kristina Wandzilak. Each episode will take viewers on the unpredictable journey of recovery and the harrowing struggle to become sober.
Take a few minutes to watch the powerful video to understand how serious addiction is and how it affects the entire family. Read more.
Tags: Addicted, Addiction, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Substance Abuse, Sue Scheff, Teen Drug Use, Teen Health, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: Dangers of Drugs – HEROIN
by Sue Scheff on Nov 19, 2009
Personally, I don’t think parents of kids today can hear enough about the dangers of drug abuse. It has never been more deadly, and that is not saying it was not deadly years ago, however the access seems to be easier and the peer pressure is growing. When I hear parents tell me their teen is “only smoking pot” it bewilders me that many don’t understand that is the gateway to many other substances for many kids. I won’t say all, but many will start with pot and graduate to meth, crack, and so many others on the streets now. One of the most dangerous, in my opinion, is heroin. Take a few minutes to read a recent article by Connect with Kids about this drug and some parenting tips.
Source: Connect with Kids
HEROIN
“Yeah, you can snort heroin. Definitely snort heroin. That’s what I do.”
– Christina, 18 years old
In Illinois, Oregon, New York, Alabama and several other states, police are reporting an increase in the number of deaths of young people from an overdose of heroin. In fact, today government surveys show that over 25 percent of high school seniors say heroin is “fairly easy to buy.”
“Smack”, “H”, “Junk” … they’re all street names for heroin. And anecdotal evidence suggests the use of this drug may be on the rise for two reasons, experts say.
First, many kids already using prescription drugs are looking for a new and cheaper high.
“Kids are looking for something different. And this is something different. Every addict- anybody who’s ever been addicted to drugs is always looking for that perfect high, the thing that will get them feeling the way that they want to feel, but they still want to convince themselves that they’re in control. And so addicts are constantly looking for new drugs, new combinations, new ways to take drugs and this is just an extension of that,” explains substance abuse counselor, Dr. Robert Margolis.
Second, heroin today is purer and more refined, which means it can be snorted instead of injected.
“Yeah, you can snort heroin, definitely snort heroin. That’s what I do,” says 18-year-old Christina.
That makes heroin more appealing to kids afraid of sticking a needle in their arm.
“It’s a way for kids to rationalize doing a drug that is highly addictive and highly dangerous. Of course, it’s in no way safe, it’s in no way ok, but it’s a way that in their minds they convince that it’s safe,” says Margolis.
That’s exactly what Christina thought. “I won’t do it because I know shooting things up is stronger and it makes it more addictive.”
But, Margolis warns, it won’t be long until they’re looking for a stronger high. “Give them time. After a few years of snorting, they’ll be shooting up. There’s no doubt about it.”
Heroin is an illegal, highly addictive drug. It is both the most abused and the most rapidly acting of the opiates. Heroin is processed from morphine, a naturally occurring substance extracted from the seed pod of certain varieties of poppy plants. It is typically sold as a white or brownish powder or as the black sticky substance known on the streets as “black tar heroin.”
According to the National Institutes on Drug Abuse, although purer heroin is becoming more common, most street heroin is “cut” with other drugs or with substances such as sugar, starch, powdered milk, or quinine. Street heroin can also be cut with strychnine, fentanyl or other poisons. Because heroin abusers do not know the actual strength of the drug or its true contents, they are at risk of overdose or death. Heroin also poses special problems because of the transmission of HIV and other diseases that can occur from sharing needles or other injection equipment.
Tips for Parents
Heroin enters the brain, where it is converted to morphine and binds to receptors known as opioid receptors. These receptors are located in many areas of the brain (and in the body), especially those involved in the perception of pain and in reward. Opioid receptors are also located in the brain stem—important for automatic processes critical for life, such as breathing (respiration), blood pressure, and arousal. Heroin overdoses frequently involve a suppression of respiration.
After an intravenous injection of heroin, users report feeling a surge of euphoria (“rush”) accompanied by dry mouth, a warm flushing of the skin, heaviness of the extremities, and clouded mental functioning. Following this initial euphoria, the user goes “on the nod,” an alternately wakeful and drowsy state. Users who do not inject the drug may not experience the initial rush, but other effects are the same.
With regular heroin use, tolerance develops, in which the user’s physiological (and psychological) response to the drug decreases, and more heroin is needed to achieve the same intensity of effect. Heroin users are at high risk for addiction—it is estimated that about 23 percent of individuals who use heroin become dependent on it.
References
- National Institutes on Drug Abuse
Tags: Connect with Kids, Drug Abuse, Heroin Use, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Peer Pressure, Substance Abuse, Sue Scheff, Teen Drug Use, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens
Sue Scheff – ADHD and Drug Abuse
by Sue Scheff on Jan 31, 2009
As a parent that has an ADHD child, I know firsthand the pros and cons of RX meds for children. It was a major decision for us to choose medication, however it was the best choice for my son. Each child and family are different. I believe it is best to have a second opinion, like I said, making this decision is major.
Since I speak with parents I know that many have concerns with their teens abusing this medication – selling it at school or even purchasing it to get a high. Be an educated parent – learn more about the medications used for ADD/ADHD.
Source: Connect with Kids
“In a way that athletes have used steroids and other medications in the past to enhance their athletic performance, Adderall is actually being used to kind of pseudo-enhance their academic performance.”
– Heather Hayes, M.Ed., Counselor.
Nineteen-year-old Marisa McCorkle has been using Adderall for two years.
“I use it for various reasons,” she says, “like tests, it helps me on tests. [And it] helps me stay awake, and [with] studying.”
It sounds like a wonder drug. Adderall – an amphetamine commonly used to treat ADHD. But, studies show it’s being abused more and more.
“In a way that athletes have used steroids and other medications in the past to enhance their athletic performance, Adderall is actually being used to kind of pseudo-enhance their academic performance,” states Heather Hayes, a licensed professional counselor.
One of the biggest problems with using the drug recreationally is that most teens are unaware of its dangers.
Twenty-year-old “Dave,” a college student, says, “I think it’s pretty safe unless you’re taking five at a time.”
But experts say even in small doses, the dangers of taking Adderall can range from headaches, increased heart rate and insomnia to things far worse.
“Any amphetamine has the potential to give someone an amphetamine psychosis,” warns Hayes. “So when you take a lot of amphetamines and you’re not sleeping, then you will literally hallucinate. … [You] will absolutely leave reality and become delusional and paranoid.”
Hayes says parents need to make the dangers of taking Adderall clear to teens. Otherwise, they may continue to believe it’s a cheap and easily available drug that helps them study. Marisa and Dave are examples of students with this belief.
“I get it for free, but I know people who will give … maybe two to five dollars [per pill],” says Marisa.
“Actually, I’m gonna go to my doctor and, uh, try to get a prescription next semester,” says Dave, “’cause I think it’s a really effective way to get good grades. I wouldn’t think it was that hard to, uh, fake having ADD.”
But others say Adderall fools you – that it only seems like it’s helping kids study. Amanda Mattison, 17, has seen first-hand what can happen.
“[Students taking Adderall] can focus when they’re taking it, and they study and they cram for five or six hours and they’re good-to-go for the exam,” she says, “but by the time the exam rolls around, they’re either too worn out or … it’s lost it’s effect.”
“Bottom line,” says Hayes, “Adderall is as dangerous of a drug when unsupervised as any other medication. It’s addictive and it is dangerous.”
Tips for Parents
Adderall, manufactured by Shire Pharmaceuticals Group of the United Kingdom, is a stimulant prescribed for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. Shire states, “Adderall isn’t intended to enhance test scores and should only be used under medical supervision.”
Adderall is a fast-acting mixture of amphetamines. Amphetamines act on the brain by mimicking the neurotransmitter dopamine, which increases alertness and concentration. Studies conducted by the National Institutes of Health in the late 1970s found that low-dose stimulants increase concentration and alertness in everyone, not just people with attention disorders. Here are some things to know about ADHD:
- ADHD is a medical condition linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain. Doctors believe it stems from biological, not environmental, conditions.
- Generally, people with ADHD have trouble focusing on tasks or subjects, and they may act impulsively and often get in trouble.
- Approximately 3 to 7 percent of school-age children and 4 percent of adults suffer from ADHD.
- Adderall is one of a handful of stimulants prescribed for ADHD.
- Side effects of Adderall can include loss of appetite, insomnia and weight loss.
During late-night study marathons, students from grade school to med school have long relied on stimulants– which include everything from caffeine to cocaine. But with Adderall, and other similar prescription drugs, some high school and college students are hoping to improve scores on standardized (and even classroom) tests. Other students are turning to alternative medicine, such as hypnosis or herbal supplements, for an extra edge.
The concern with Adderall is not from a single use. One pill won’t kill you. But one pill is likely to lead to a second pill, then a third and a subsequent snowball effect where physical damage can occur. Also, Adderall is relatively easy to obtain. Overall, prescriptions for stimulants have risen from 1.6 million in 2000 to 2.6 million a month in 2004. Adderall XR, a once-a-day, extended-release form of the drug, is the leader in its class, capturing about a third of the market. Consider the following:
- Prescription drug use was once rare, but it has now crossed into the mainstream.
- Prescriptive amphetamines have figured prominently in calls to emergency departments and poison control centers.
- Kids, and even their parents, are desperate for any available academic edge and willing to go to the extreme to obtain it.
- Some students feel extra pressure because they feel they are not just failing themselves, but also failing their parents and other family members.
- The College Board, the nonprofit administrator of the SAT, has no rules explicitly prohibiting drug use. Spokeswoman Chiara Coletti says, “We certainly do not recommend that students take any drugs or stimulants in hopes of affecting their scores.”
- Some kids taking Adderall have valid prescriptions, but not all. Under federal law, it’s illegal to knowingly possess a “schedule II” drug (like Adderall) without a prescription. But prosecutions for possession are rare.
- Many schools would suspend or expel a student caught using marijuana or other street drugs but might not punish students taking prescription drugs to help with test taking.
References
- ADHD Support and Resources from Eli Lily
- National Institutes of Health
- Nature Magazine
- Shire Pharmaceuticals Group
- TeensHealth
- The Wall Street Journal
Tags: ADD, ADD/ADHD, ADHD, Connect with Kids, Drug Abuse, Parenting ADHD, Parenting Teen, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Drug Use
