Some great tips are here!

How to Handle Teenage Rebellion

Many parents with teenagers are well aware that raising a teen presents a challenge. A teen’s attitude can fluctuate from being kind and well-behaved to rude and rebellious in a matter of seconds. Many want to know how to handle teenage rebellion, but several are unaware of where to start. Continue reading to learn how to handle your teenager’s rebellious stage and start establishing the role you’d like in their life.

1. Listen
One thing that many parents have difficulty with is listening to their teen. It’s crucial for both parent and teen to talk and share feelings with one another. In order to communicate effectively,be aware of where your child is coming from and what his/her mindset is. Listening cannot only help our relationship, but also help identify issues that need to be addressed.

2. Enforce Rules & Values
When teens are going through their rebellious period, they break rules. This behavior can be improved by consistently letting your child know what is expected of them. Eventually, behavior will improve. Aside from enforcing rules, discussing values can also aid in improving behavior. Values are a huge part of life and making your teen aware of them can help them through their rebellion and throughout their entire life.

3. Allow Some Distance
Every teen is going to be in a bad mood every now and then. When this occurs, parents need to give them some space. If your teen is neither violent nor destructive, give them some privacy. There is nothing wrong with giving them time to take a walk around the park alone or go in their room and lock the door. Sometimes, a few minutes alone can calm a teenager down.

4. Get to Know Teachers
Getting to know your teen’s teachers and developing a good relationship with them can make it much easier, as well as make both yourself and their teachers aware of behavior problems. This can help build a support system for the child and yourself too.

5. Support Group
Although you may believe that your teen is the issue, there is always room to work on yourself as a parent. A parent support group/parenting classes can teach you how to improve your home environment and inform you of better ways to handle your teen when the rebellion switches into full gear.  Bettering yourself as a parent can benefit your rebellious teen significantly.

6. Family Counseling
Family counseling can help to address the underlying issues that led to the rebellion. Every rebellious period stems from an underlying issue. This can be anything from school to friends or yourself. Once the cause of your teen’s bad behavior is addressed, a family counselor can then give the family tips, strategies and skills to repair these issues.

Overal,l leaning to handle teenage rebellion requires work, patience and determination. Getting involved in their life without being invasive is a great place to start. Aside from that, these tips should be very helpful, because they have proven helpful to me time and again.

Contributor:  Kim Richmonds likes to write about parenting & saving money at www.homeinsurance.org.

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Pre-order today!

Hmmm, well, this is a bold and common statement I hear quite frequently so when a new friend/colleague mentioned she has a book coming out this spring with this title, I was intrigued.  After all, as a parent that struggled with a teen that was less than perfect, and liked to convince me that “I” was the problem, this book just may go flying off the shelves.

“My Teenager Is The Problem” is written by Ronae Jull, the Hope Coach.

A bit about this new book…..

Do you struggle with that one family member who constantly challenges your serenity, twists your stomach into knots and keeps you up at night, questioning your sanity? If that family member is your teenager, you’re not alone.

Teenagers can cause feelings of anger, incompetence, and helplessness in even the most confident parents. Regardless of how successful your professional life, your home keeping skills, or your other relationships,parenting a teen can challenge your resolve to remain calm and mindful when dealing with him or her.

Maybe you’ve come to feel that you shouldn’t have become a parent, you can’t do anything right, and that your teen may not make it to his or her adult years in one piece.

You don’t have to feel this way.

Order My Teenager IS the Problem! today and recapture peace and sanity for you and your family. The book — authored by The HOPE Coach, Ronae Jull — provides specific step-by-step strategies, guaranteed to save your teen and renew your peace-of-mind.

Read just a few of the proven solutions offered in this amazing book below:

Creating and enforcing boundaries

• Dealing with bad attitudes
• Substance abuse
• Dealing with and stopping rage
• Helping your depressed teen
• Coping with bullying behavior
• Helping your mentally ill teen
• …and much more…

For more information on Ronae Jull and her services, visit her website at www.RonaeJull.com.  You can follow Ronae Jull on Twitter and join her on Facebook!

As a Parent Advocate and Author of a parenting book on residential therapy, Parent Coaching can be an avenue a family can use prior taking the step into residential therapy.

Here is a good guest post with five possible reason that can cause teen anger:

5 Ways to Make Your Teenager Angry

Any parent of a teenager knows that one of the main emotions associated with that age is, you guessed it, anger. In fact, most people simply refer to their teenager as an “angry teen” and write off those emotions as a simple fact of life during that age. While this is definitely true, it is also imperative to treat your teen with as much care and respect as you would any other loved one, even if they treat you with the opposite of care and respect, at times. As a parent, you can’t write off your teen’s anger. In fact, if you’re not careful, you run the risk of making them seriously angry at you, rather than simply angry at the world. Here’s how:

 1. Don’t Listen to What They Have to Say

One of the most important things to do while your kids are teenagers is to try to foster and maintain communication. Even if your teen would rather walk home in the snow than talk to you about his day, you have to take advantage of any communication you can get. And, most importantly, when you do get the opportunity to communicate, focus less on what you would like to say to them and more on what they have to say to you. You could be so occupied with worrying about the next thing you think you should tell them that you can miss hugely important clues about your teens life and how he or she is feeling.

2. Tell Them They Are Just Being a Teen

Talk about being written off! And at the absolute worst time in life to feel that way, no less. Never, ever make the mistake of treating your teen like their opinions or emotions are invalid simply because they are going through their “teens.” There is nothing that will push your child away faster or make them feel more annoyed and insulted.

3. Don’t Practice What You Preach

You may feel like you can relax a little once your kids are grown up, without the worry of them repeating things they shouldn’t say or copying behaviors they shouldn’t be copying. It’s easy to feel like you can cut back on trying to provide an example. But, even if it doesn’t feel like it, your teen is still watching you and emulating your behavior. If you are constantly lecturing them about following through on their homework, you better take the trash out if that is one of your family chores or remove foul language from your vocabulary if you expect the same from them. If you are going to ask your teen to follow through on things they say they will do, you absolutely must set that example.

4. Make Them Feel Isolated

When your teen suddenly prefers to lock herself in her room, music blaring, rather than hang out with the family, it can be easy to just leave them alone up there and not bother. Once invitations have been rejected so many times, you can begin to feel like it would be better to stop bothering them altogether. However, your teen still needs to feel like a relevant and important member of the family, or else you run the risk of creating a feeling of isolation that could continue into the later teen years.

5. Don’t Prepare Them for Plans

This is another area where parents sometimes feel that it’s better to stay away than address an issue or upcoming plan with their teen. Things like letting them know that you will be going out of town in two weeks, or that you want to have a family movie night on Friday, are simple to throw on your teen last minute, especially when they act like they could care less. The truth is, in the moment, they probably don’t care. But that doesn’t mean that you should surprise them by springing plans on them last minute. Sometimes teens, just like anyone else, need a little time to mentally prepare for upcoming events, and being forced to do something without warning is a surefire recipe for a breakdown.

Byline:

This is a guest post by Kimberly Wilson. Kimberly is from accredited online colleges, she writes on topics including career, education, student life, college life, home improvement, time management etc.

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Here is a great guest post by Barbara Williams:

Working as a nanny can be a rewarding and fulfilling job for people who love children. However, getting along with the parents can sometimes be a challenge. The important thing to remember is, no matter how much you love the children, the parents are the boss. You need to make sure they are happy with your work because the parents are ones signing your paychecks. It might not always be obvious that you’re doing something to displease them, so here are 10 signs a parent is upset with you.

1. Not speaking – Some parents aren’t good at communicating their displeasure so they’ll give you the silent treatment. Instead of a light banter at the end of the day they’ll only answer direct questions with short terse statements. If this starts happening you better find out if you did something wrong or if they’re just having a bad day.
2. Exasperated sighs – Another unspoken sign a parent is upset with you is the exasperated sigh. Nannies who hear this better be on their toes. You should probably find out what the parent is unhappy about.
3. Facial expressions – It’s important for nannies to be able to read the parent’s facial expressions. A furrowed brow or tenseness around the mouth could be a sign you did something wrong.
4. Schedule a talk – When parents tell you they want to schedule a little talk, you may be in trouble. They may say something about having to go over a few things or the need to reevaluate your duties. Uh-oh!
5. Send you home early – Another sign you made them unhappy is when they send you home early for no apparent reason. This could mean they are so upset they don’t even want to have you around.
6. Day off for no reason – Getting an unscheduled day off could seem like a good thing at first, but you might want to beware. This could mean the parents are reevaluating your position. They may even be scheduling interviews with other potential nannies.
7. Unreasonable demands – Some parents will do just the opposite and start making unreasonable demands when they’re upset with you. This could be their way of punishing you for whatever misdeeds you’ve done.
8. Exaggerated niceness – Some parents will express their displeasure by treating you with exaggerated niceness. This forced and fake kindness that is dripping with sarcasm is a clear sign they’re upset.
9. Kids tell you – Of course kids don’t have filters on their expressions like adults do, so they are more likely to tell you when their parents are upset and why. Nannies can often rely on the children to let something slip if there’s a problem the parents won’t tell them about.
10. They tell you – Of course the best way to find out a parent is upset with you is for them to tell you. It’s much better for them to let you know right away if you’re doing something they don’t like so you can rectify the situation.

Everyone handles conflict differently and some people are very uncomfortable with confrontations. They’ll do anything to avoid unpleasantness. The best thing to do is have good communication between both the parents and the nannies. It’s not good to let problems fester when they can re resolved quickly and amicably. Nannies should watch for these signs that the parents are upset and work hard to resolve the situation.

Source:  Find a Babysitter

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Who do you trust behind the screen?

Troubled teens, teen help, struggling teens, at-risk teens, problem teens, difficult teens, boot camps, military schools, behavior modification, specialty schools, specialty programs, teen help programs, boarding schools, residential treatment centers, residential therapy, emotional growth programs, therapeutic boarding schools, wilderness programs, defiant teens, manipulative teens, disengaged from the family, family conflict, hopelessness, WIT’S END….

You have about reached your wit’s end when you are searching the web and typing in about every keyword you believe describes what you think you are looking for.  Glorified websites appear – maybe some not so beautiful, maybe you want a Christian setting, maybe you think a good boot camp or have that traditional thinking of an old fashioned military school…. however you will soon realize this isn’t 50 years ago.  There are legitimate residential therapeutic schools today and it is a parent job to do their research to be sure they find a safe and quality program that fits their individual needs.

After hours – days – even weeks (I have actually spoken to parents that have spent months) on the Internet, sometimes the confusion can deepen, which is why I did create Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.

With this – I am only sharing my own experiences…. and it has to do with the affiliated programs with the title of this Blog….

Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?

So, your teen is driving your crazy.  You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources.  Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend.  Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all.  Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.

Where did our good kid go?  Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them.  Obviously not pleasant.  Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy.  Another alleged WWASPS facility.  Why say alleged?  Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs.  Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education.  None of which I had signed up for.  Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.  

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements.  I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too.  No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way.  I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end.  I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many  of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down.  That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research.  Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and  my knowledge.

Please – take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours?  Extracted?  Really – is your child a tooth?  Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs!  We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.

Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online!  Lies and twisted facts!  Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

When is enough - enough?

Second semester.  Some teens have had enough. They don’t want to go to school anymore.  They believe they know it all.  It is easier to get a GED, after all, some of their so-called friend are doing it!

Your once happy, bouncing toddler that strolled into kindergarten, brought that artwork home for your refrigerator, and may have end participated in the school plays has now decided that hanging out with a new group of peers that are less than what you would have selected for them, is their thing….

As much as you are trying to ignore or just say it is a phase, you notice your teen is withdrawing from the family, failing in school, smell alcohol, maybe even marijuana, cigarettes, and overall have become a child you no longer recognize with a personality that is defiant and totally disrespectful the the family boundaries – what do you do?

Most parents try local therapy – which is a great first step, but when happens when therapy doesn’t work?  You can’t be afraid to take that next step!  A parent in a denial only harms your teenager.  Don’t be held hostage in your home by your teen’s behavior.

Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.

Usually a teen’s behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better.  As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn’t.

With drug use and substance abuse rising – more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned.  It isn’t your marijuana of generations prior – it is so much worse and in many cases – addictive and deadly.

If you have reached your wit’s end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website.  Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content.  You need to do your due diligence.

Years ago I struggled with my own teenager.  I was at my wit’s end.  I didn’t realize what a big business this “teen help industry” was.  Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that.  My story is a cautionary tale – not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.

You can do it without spending thousands!

Here are some quick tips:

• Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child’s individual needs.
• Always speak with an owner or director – Someone that has a vested in your teen’s recovery.  Their reputation is on the line.
• Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted.  They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program.  What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn’t coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe – and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist – new schedule – and new setting.  Don’t get caught up in this “shuffle.”  Start and finish with the same school/program.
• The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen.  Anything less is probably non-effective.  Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
• Do you really need an Educational Consultant?  Absolutely not.  You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do – with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.

For more helpful hint and tips, please contact www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation. After the ordeal I went through, I created this advocacy organization to help educate parents on finding safe and quality programs.

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Teens can be a challenge – especially in today’s ever changing world with technology and a society that is making our kids grow up so much faster.

Common parent statements:

“My teen is so smart! His/her IQ is superior, but they are not working up to their potential.”
“My teen is so beautiful/handsome – good looking – even has many friends.” (Of course, the peer group has changed and you don’t know why.)
“My teen is very athletic! He/she made the varsity team at a young age, has won all sorts of awards, but now has dropped out and has zero interest in this sport.”

How to be a perfect parent?

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, however there is such a thing as being an educated parent.  This is not about book smarts or academics, it is about first hand experiences from parents that have been where you are.

Becoming an educated parent in the teen help industry is possible with Parent’s Universal Resource Experts.

Blame Game and Parent Denial

• Not my kid, it is the kids he/she is hanging with.

• My child was caught with pot, but he swears it was his friend’s.

• It’s the schools fault.

• If I only had sent him to another school.

• If I only had given into the cell phone.

• His grandparents spoil him rotten.

• When is it appropriate to read your teen’s journal, text messages, emails, social networking sites etc?
• When safety triumphs privacy!  Is your teen withdrawn, secretive, changing friends?
• Be a parent first, friendship is built on that foundation.

Common mistakes parents make:

Major misconception of parents:  Almost all parents that contact us have that next Einstein or Dan Marino, but the fact they are either changing friends, smoking pot, not attending classes or school at all, wanting to drop out of school all together and just get a GED, are all signs you are heading down a very negative path. This road usually escalates before it gets better.

Get help today – contact www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Manipulation in Relational Aggression: Jockeying for the Position of Victim

By Jane Balvanz

If manipulation, as a noun defined, is artful or skillful management, and as a verb, means to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or deviously, then manipulation, as a relationship tool, is just plain scary.  It’s a sideways method for getting what you want instead of using direct, honest communication.

In one sense, manipulation can be innocuous.  Parents use manipulative techniques to persuade their children to eat healthily.  And who among us hasn’t helped manage some sort of situation to pull off a surprise for someone’s birthday?  Intentions, in these cases, are meant to help or create a pleasant situation for someone else.  Both examples illustrate the sunnier side of manipulation.  But there is a dark side, a very dark side.

The Shadow Side of Manipulation

When kids meet and form new friendships, there is joy and abandon.  This is particularly true for our youngest.  Small children form bonds easily with little thought of gain or how a friendship could improve their social status.  They just want to play.  It doesn’t take long, though, for cliques to form and manipulation to begin.

Kids discover ways to keep others from joining in play.  Changing the truth just a little can keep an unpleasant situation at bay.  Forgetting on purpose can explain away an indiscretion.  And gathering a group together to “explain” one version of a story first before someone else’s opposing view can be told gives a certain stronghold over the most believable version of the truth.

It’s natural for kids to experiment with manipulation, but it’s a sad place to stay.   With girls and boys equally using it, anyone who continually succeeds through manipulation increases their chances of becoming a manipulative adult.  Spending enough time with a relationship manipulator eventually exposes their MO.  Unfortunately for the manipulator, relationships are shallow and ever changing.  It becomes a heartache for manipulators and their targets alike.

Victim, Victim – Who Gets to Be the Victim?

A masterful manipulator knows how to appear as the wronged party.  The best defense is a good offense; that is the manipulator’s mantra.  She knows how to set things up.  Victim is the desired role, because if you are the victim, you cannot be in the wrong.   Let me illustrate through roles and age groups:
Preschool:  Sarah retrieves a toy Mia has just snatched out of her hands. (Mia, crying to an adult)  “Sarah took my toy!”  Sarah is reprimanded to share.
Siblings:  Younger Child wants to play with Older Child’s science experiment.  Older Child, not wanting to have the school assignment destroyed, denies the request.   Younger Child cries to Parent that Older Child is mean.  Older Child is reprimanded because, of course, she/he is older and should know better.  (Younger Child smiles at Older Child)
Grade School:  A group of girls calls Mary names.  Mary, in tears, says she will report the group to the teacher after recess.   After recess, the group reaches the teacher first and reports that Mary has been calling them names.
Junior High and High School:  Maria and Eve were friends who told each other everything.  Their relationship included privately venting about others and sharing their opinions.  A fight ends the relationship, so Eve seeks “justice” by proclaiming herself Victim while sharing Maria’s private, negative views of others.  As a result, Maria is ostracized, and Victim Eve is embraced.
Romantic Relationships:  Maggie doesn’t like Josh’s friends, so each time he goes out with them, she sulks for days.  When Josh asks what’s wrong, Maggie responds, “Nothing.”
Work:  Analise’s boss asked her to do extra assignments without any compensation.  When Analise spoke up to say she would need extra compensation to pay for her babysitter’s additional time, the boss became incensed.  In conversations now, the boss calls Analise his Prima Dona employee.  When others ask about the obvious change in their relationship, he just shrugs his shoulders as if to suggest she is a difficult employee.  His actions cause others to stay away from Analise.
Character Qualities That Eschew Victimhood and Embrace Self-Efficacy

To raise a 21st Century Citizen who is able to become happy, self-reliant and successful in relationships and life itself, guide your child to live these five character qualities.  They are the antidotes to manipulation:

1. Respect
2. Responsibility
3. Resiliency
4. Honesty
5. Courage

When you respect yourself and others, it allows you to be honest in your communications and to take responsibility for your words and actions.  Resiliency gets you through the difficult times, and courage helps keep you in alignment with the other character values.

What gifts you will give your child – your guidance toward characteristics that lead to fulfilling relationships without manipulation and victimhood!

© 2011 A Way Through, LLC

Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls Ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com

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Why do students drop-out?

There’s no single reason.

Students drop out of school for a number of different reasons—and it’s typically a combination of many issues. Here are some of the top reasons students give for leaving school:

• Classes aren’t interesting
• Parents/family/adults have low expectations
• Poor attendance
• Failing in school
• Family responsibilities (work, caring for siblings, etc.)
• Becoming a parent
• Too much freedom

What are some warning signs to look for?

What to watch for. There are specific factors to watch for in students who are likely to drop out of school. If you see one or more of these signs, get involved! You can give these students the Boost they need to stay in school.

• They don’t feel challenged in school.
• They don’t feel high educational expectations from either their family or school.
• They believe their parents are too controlling and they want to rebel.
• They have trouble with schoolwork or feel like they are not as smart as other students.
• They have drug, alcohol or mental health problems.
• They regularly miss school or are frequently tardy.
• They struggle with problems at home, including physical or verbal abuse.
• They feel like they don’t fit in or have friends at school.
• Their peers or siblings have dropped out of school.
• They have poor learning conditions at school—such as overcrowding, high levels of violence and excessive absenteeism.

If you fear your teen is heading down a negative path and you need to get them back on track, visit www.BoostUp.org or www.HelpYourTeens.com for more information.

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Don't be a parent in denial.

After watching Dr. Drew on HLN last evening, as he explained to his guest (a mother) that has a young adult struggling with alcoholism, ‘she can’t save him‘,  and having that thought process is not helping him.  Only he can help himself.   Many parents have a misconception of Tough Love, as Dr. Drew explained.  You can literally love your child to death. You can actually do more harm when you believe you are helping or saving your child.

Parent Denial: It Only Hurts Your Teen and Puts Them at Serious Risk

Parents in denial is probably one of the most common threads many teens have while they are smoking a joint or popping a pill – even downing the cough syrup.  Many parents think their teen is not the bad child – it is the ones they are hanging with – or simply doesn’t exist.

Being a parent in denial doesn’t help anyone, not even the parent.  Since eventually it does catch up with you and you find yourself dealing with a teen that is escalating out of control or worse, on a road to becoming an addict.

We hear these common excuses from parents when they call us for help:

• My teen is so smart! His/her IQ is superior, but they are not working up to their potential. (Also known as, underachieving)
• My teen is so beautiful/handsome – good looking – even has many friends. (Of course, the peer group has changed and you don’t know why.)
• My teen is very athletic! He/she made the varsity team at a young age, has won all sorts of awards, but now has dropped out (or kicked off a team) and has zero interest in this sport. (Major red flag).
• It’s not my kid, it is the kids he/she is hanging out with! (Really, do you understand your teen has free will and is choosing to hang with these kids?)
• It’s only pot! (Really, do you realize that marijuana today is not like generations prior.  Marijuana is being laced with higher levels of PCP, as well as even heroin).  It is not only pot, it is serious.

The irony of these comments are,  they are calling us, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, for help, but when we recommend resources,  many fall back to their “hope and a prayer” that this is only a phase. While some teens do straighten up, most don’t – and the problems get worse.

Typical teen behavior?  Maybe, but do you want to risk not getting them help if it is more than typical teen behavior?

Major misconception of parents: Almost all parents that contact us have that next Einstein or Dan Marino (the mother on Dr. Drew last night even used the most common phrase, ‘my son is highly intelligent’, which may be true, but using drugs or other substances is not too smart), but the fact they are either changing friends, smoking pot, not attending classes or school at all, wanting to drop out of school all together and just get a GED, are all signs you are heading down a very negative path. This road usually escalates before it gets better.

As a mother that dealt with a challenging teenage daughter, I know the feeling of facing the fact you can’t do this alone.  My daughter was that athlete, she was popular, she was beautiful and I always said – “well, at least she never did drugs.”  Boy was I wrong.

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In my book, Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen, published by Health Communications, Inc, I wrote my thoughts and feelings at the time my daughter was 14 years-old.  However when you reach the chapter she wrote, you soon realize that mom (myself) didn’t know it all!

When local therapy isn’t working, you exhausted all your local resources, you have now come to realize an intervention is needed.  Residential therapy is a big step, both emotionally and financially.

Another major misconception among parents is they are looking for a Military School or Boot Camp to straighten up their teen.

• Military Schools are a privilege and honor to attend.  Your child needs to be accepted usually with an essay of why they want to attend as well as a good GPA.  If your teen is forced to attend and gets expelled, you will very likely forfeit your tuition.
• Boot Camps and Wilderness Programs are short term programs that offer short term results (if any at all).  Many parents believe that 6-8 weeks is going to resolve a year or more worth of issues.  These types of programs are band-aids that quickly fall off shortly after the teen arrives back home.  Most Wilderness Programs recommend a Residential Therapy program following their 6-8 weeks.  Consistency is key, finding the right program from start to finish has proven most beneficial.

Looking for the best residential program and/or school for your individual teen is challenging.  It is critical we don’t place your teen out of their element.  Finding the right balance make take time, but it is worth it and can lead to a brighter future for your child.

Learn more about residential programs by visiting http://www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Most importantly, don’t be a parent in denial – be proactive!

I will Blog more about how to find sound residential therapy as well as letting you know, you are not alone!

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