Sexting: What is it, and Should Parents be Worried?
by Sue Scheff on Dec 17, 2011
Online safety of teens and kids of all ages is a priority as well as cell phone safety. This brings us to a very hot topic which a guest writer has asked me to post his recent article to help parents understand how important it is to understand what sexting is and how they can take steps to help keep their children safe virtually.
Sexting has become a recent trend with mobile users, as nearly 40% of teens reporting sexting at least once or consistently. Sexting is when one person sends a nude, or sexually suggestive picture/text of themselves to another person or a group. The consequences of sexting range from nothing, to serious. For parents, the worries are real and dangerous.
Child Pornography
The primary concern for parents is sexting that involves suggestive photos, especially nudes. Several teens have been charged with ownership of child pornography. That’s because even if two students under age 18 are dating, possession of nude photos of individuals under the age of 18 constitutes child pornography. In some cases, teens who have snapped pictures of themselves have been charged with “manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography.” Those receiving the pictures have faced, and been sentenced, to charges of possession. Convictions lead to life-long registration on sexual offender lists.
Digital World
Once the pictures have been taken, parents have more issues to worry about, namely digital records. After pictures have been taken digitally, they immediately enter a digital world where they can become permanent. One person can send the picture to another and so on until it’s been shared across the digital world. It can all start with one phone. With chat rooms and other websites, it’s easy for pedophiles and other predators to misrepresent age, sex, and location. Teens and kids are constantly connected to the web. Not only can those pictures make their way to illegal websites, they can also make their way to strangers.
Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, and other social media sites are like online directories for everyone and anyone. It can be easy anyone to assume a false identity. With a couple clicks on the phone, a picture gets into the hands of the wrong person.
Psychological Factors
There are many reasons why teens take part in sexting and most of them are a new take on the old world of flirting and courting. Many teens send the texts as flirtatious messages, to boost popularity, or because of peer pressure. They can also include forms of sexual harassment, or bullying.
The ramifications for of this are undocumented in terms of sexting, but the potential psychological issues of self-esteem are wide and concerning. Adolescents and teens are entering a stage of life where body-image and self-esteem are developing. Bullying, harassment, and derogatory comments can degrade and damage morale. The effects of this can last for years or decades.
By sexting, teens put their bodies out there to be judged and critiqued. While their bodies may be healthy, teens use any chances to tease or insult another, especially if it means a chance to elevate themselves in a social clique, or in popularity. The self-esteem issues created by pictures, or suggestive language, being misconstrued, getting into unwanted hands or from unwarranted comments, can devastate teens and lead to suicide.
Cautionary Steps
Beyond eliminating and forbidding the use of all digital devices, there are other measures that parents can take to protect their teens.
The first is establishing a good relationship. Studies consistently show that parents who foster good relationships with their children have more influence on them than the media or peer pressure.
A strong relationship makes it easier for parents to approach kids about sexting and its consequences. Being honest with children about the potential legal consequences, psychological factors, and personal ethics and morals behind sexting is a good way to help them understand its seriousness.
To instill that seriousness, parents should monitor their child’s activities and friends. Much of sexting in teenagers is caused by peer pressure or social interactions. Supporting them in making the right decisions, and spending less time from those who are sexting, may be the best way to keep them safe.
Special contributor: Steven Farrell is the administrator of ReversePhoneLookup.org, the best reverse phone directory online.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Privacy, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Sexting, Texting
Teen Dating Abuse: 43% of College Women Have Reported Dating Violence or Abuse
by Sue Scheff on Sep 21, 2011
Nation’s leading experts confirm college dating violence is a much larger problem than anyone realizes
Loveisrespect.org, the National Partnership to End Dating Abuse, launches new initiative to combat dating violence on college campuses nationwide
A new survey reveals dating violence and abuse to be surprisingly more prevalent among college students than previously believed. Nearly half of dating college women (43%) report having ever experienced violent or abusive dating behaviors, and more than one in five (22%) report actual physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of physical violence. Despite the high number of students experiencing these types of abuse, more than one-third of college students (38%) say they would not know how to get help on campus if they found themselves in an abusive relationship.
The survey, “Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love Is Not Abuse 2011 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll,” was conducted by Knowledge Networks to address the lack of data on dating violence and abuse among college students and to increase the understanding of this problem on college campuses nationwide.
According to dating violence expert, Dr. Karen Singleton, Director of Sexual Violence Response, a program of Columbia University Health Services, “This survey expands on earlier reports and reinforces the complexity of the issue.” Among the findings are:
· Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) college women report having been a victim of an abusive dating relationship in her life.
· 57% of students who report having been in an abusive dating relationship indicate it occurred in college.
· 52% of college women report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors including physical, sexual, digital, verbal or controlling abuse.
· Further, 58% of students said they would not know how to help if they knew someone was a victim.
“The findings of this survey prove that colleges and universities need to provide a more comprehensive response and additional creative educational programs to address dating violence and abuse,” said Jane Randel, Senior Vice President, Corporate Communications, Liz Claiborne Inc.
The survey findings were released today, during a forum to educate students about sexual assault prevention and survivor assistance at American University.
The full report of survey results can be found at www.loveisnotabuse.com.
National Dating Abuse Helpline and Break the Cycle Respond to the Urgent Need for Education
In direct response to these new findings, www.loveisrespect.org, a partnership between the National Dating Abuse Helpline and leading teen dating violence prevention organization, Break the Cycle, is launching an initiative to target college students with new, relevant resources to address the issue of dating abuse.
The expanded online content includes: Take Action (information on how students can get involved on their campus), Stay Safe (safety planning designed specifically for college students) and Help a Friend (information to assist bystanders). The survey shows that 57% of college students say it is difficult to identify dating abuse – substantive evidence of the need for increased education and awareness.
“It is our hope that with these targeted college resources, we can help increase knowledge about how students can combat the issue and ultimately, help prevent the prevalence of dating abuse and violence among students,” said President of the National Domestic Violence Hotline and National Dating Abuse Helpline, Katie-Ray Jones.
The resources are available, free online at www.loveisrespect.org.
In addition, Liz Claiborne Inc. has created a college dating violence curriculum called Love Is Not Abuse, designed to help students deal with dating violence and abuse on campus. The first college curriculum of its kind, Love Is Not Abuse educates students about the dangers and warning signs of dating violence, offers lessons specifically on abuse via technology and provides resources where college students can find help on campus.
The Love Is Not Abuse curriculum was created by a task force consisting of educators and domestic and sexual violence experts from Columbia University, George Mason University, the University of Kansas, Virginia Community College System, Northern Virginia Community College and Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University (Virginia Tech) following the May 2010 murder of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love.
The Love Is Not Abuse college curriculum is available online, free at www.loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/curriculum.
Tags: Love is Not Abuse, Parenting Teens, Teen Dating Abuse, teen dating violence, Teen Help
Teen Porn: Know where your kids are surfing
by Sue Scheff on Oct 04, 2010
During National Cyber Security Awareness Month there are many topics to be discussed, and one of the most fast-paced issue is porn and how it lands on your teens screens.
In the past, pornography was mainly limited to artwork, magazines and the red-light districts. With the Internet and cable television, however, pornography has now made its way into our family rooms, home offices, teens cell phones and kids’ bedrooms. It is easily – and often inadvertently — accessible by children and teenagers, and parents must work even harder to prevent their children from becoming addicted to it.
Experts at the Jacob Wetterling Foundation developed the following tips to help parents prevent their children from becoming addicted to pornography:
- Place home computers in a central area of the house, not a child’s bedroom or secluded area. Make surfing the Internet a family experience.
- Talk with your children about what they can and cannot do online, while trying to understand their needs, interests and curiosity.
- Know your child’s password and screen names; they may have more than one.
- Set reasonable time limits on computer use, and ensure that your children adhere to the limitations.
- You should also realize that children may be accessing the Internet from outside the home, such as friend’s homes, work, libraries and school.
- Be open with your children and encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem online.
- Explore filtering and blocking software, which is used to sort information on the Internet and classify it according to content. A major drawback is that some filtering may block innocent sites, while many “negative” sites still get past the filters. Though these programs can be great assets, parents still need to maintain open communication with their children to inform and protect them.
The best cure for addiction is prevention. Many parents may suspect their children of being sexually addicted, but may not be sure of the warning signs. Victor Cline, Ph.D., an expert on pornography and its effects, encourages parents to be on the lookout for the following symptoms of sexual addiction:
- A pattern of out-of-control sexual behavior
- Experiencing severe consequences due to sexual behavior, and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences
- Persistent pursuit of self-destructive behavior
- Ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior
- Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy
- Regularly increasing the amount of sexual experience because the current level of activity is no longer satisfying
- Severe mood changes related to sexual activity
- Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual and/or recovering from sexual experiences
- Neglect of important social, occupational or recreational activities because of sexual behavior
Being an educated parent will help you have safer teens both online and off.
Learn more about protecting your children from online porn, click here.
The Broward County’s Sheriff’s Office has more tips on their website to help keep your family safe online, click here.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parenting Teens Online, Parenting Tips, Teen Depression, Teen Help
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