When parents say that they are going to remove their teen’s computer, take away their cell phone – or have their teen delete their Facebook – it is almost comical.  Do they actually think a teen is not savvy enough to create a new page, borrow a friends phone or even go to an Internet cafe or library?  Parents, you always need to be a step ahead of your kids – you need to show your kids the dangers – the risks – the pitfalls – so they don’t get tangled in the web!  Here is a good start…..

Order today!

Cybertraps for the Young

by Frederick S. Lane

 ‘SEXT EDUCATION’ AND ‘CYBERETHICS’:

 WHAT EVERY PARENT MUST KNOW ABOUT 

THE TECHNOLOGY CAPABILITIES OF CHILDREN

—Leading expert on emerging technology breaks down the implications of technology misuse amongst teens and provides tips on how to monitor online activity in new book

Just how ‘connected’ are today’s youth?

• The average child possesses their first cell phone before age 10
• In October 2010, 43% of teen cell phone users reported that their primary reason for having a phone was to text message friends
• Roughly 50% of teens in the U.S. use Facebook
• 81% of children between the ages of 12 and 17 own at least one gaming console
• 23% of children under 5 regularly use the Internet

With fast downloads, mass file sharing, instant uploads, and lightning-fast Internet searches available at the click of a button, a host of new technologies—cell phones, gaming systems, laptops, tablets, and digital cameras—are helping teens commit irrevocable mistakes. As today’s youth continues to be a targeted consumer audience for emerging technology, it is increasingly critical for  parents and educators to identify, understand, and discuss the consequences of technology misuse with children.

In his new book, Cybertraps for the Young, attorney and computer forensics expert Frederick Lane describes the most prevalent cybertraps confronting children today. After outlining the legal consequences which can result from inappropriate online behavior, he provides parents with insightful strategies for discussing safe and ethical technology use with their children.

“Cyber responsibility starts at home and, now more than ever, it’s crucial parents have regular conversations with their kids about online safety,” Lane says. “Children should not get access to powerful communication tools until they understand the risks associated with them.”

Unlike other books on new technologies, Cybertraps for the Young focuses on the serious personal and legal consequences children may face as a result of their online behavior. From the most  common and easily triggered cybertraps, including those arising from new tools like the iPhone’s new live video chat capability, “Face Time,” to lesser-known risks like peer-to-peer file sharing, Lane offers a candid look at how schools, law enforcement agents, and state and federal prosecutors are taking increasingly tough stands against young offenders. Drawing on contemporary news stories, case studies, and personal courtroom experiences, Lane provides a startling investigation of the numerous cybertraps that continue to dominate today’s headlines: oversharing personal information, plagiarism and high-tech cheating, cyberbullying and cyber harassment, libel and slander, hacking, sexting and sextortion, and child pornography on Peer-to-Peer networks.

In addition to the analysis of the cybertraps for parents, Lane stresses the need to incorporate cybersafety and cyberethics lessons into the American education system.  Backed by his decade on the Burlington School Board in Vermont, Lane provides tips to parents on how to approach their local school districts and advocate for cyberethics education at all grade levels.

“We emphasize the practice of safe sex in sex education; we teach gun safety as a prerequisite for a hunting license; and we teach auto safety in driver’s education,” notes Lane. “As technology continues to advance, cyberethics should be a staple in the school curricula.”

In this first book of its kind, Lane delves into:

• The capabilities of emerging technology, including camera cell phones, gaming systems, tablets, live video chat, and digital cameras, among others
• How and when to start educating children about cyberethics and potential cybertraps
• How to monitor children’s online activity—both by physically tracking their conduct and by using monitoring tools and software
• The legal and personal consequences of specific cybertraps, including sexting, cyber-bullying, and hacking
• What parents can do to notify their school districts and state legislatures about the need for cyber education

 About the author:

 Frederick Lane is an author, attorney, expert witness, and professional speaker on the legal and cultural implications of emerging technology. A 1988 graduate of Boston College Law School, Lane practiced law for five years before launching his own computer consulting business, a career move which ultimately led him to his current work as a writer, lecturer, and computer forensics expert. Over the past 12 years, Lane has worked on a wide variety of criminal cases, including copyright infringement, stalking, embezzlement, theft of intellectual property, obscenity, and child pornography.

In addition to his professional background, Lane has served on the Burlington School Board in Vermont since October 2001 and served as chairman of the Board for the past two years. He is the author of 5 highly acclaimed books, a number of which deal with technology boundaries. Lane is also the father of two teenage boys.

For more information about Frederick Lane and Cybertraps for the Young, please visit www.cybertrapsfortheyoung.com or www.FrederickLane.com. Cybertraps for the Young will be available on ntiupstream.com or on Amazon.

I know all this first hand since it almost happened to me.

If you don’t protect it who will?  Your BFF today could become your foe tomorrow.  Your spouse today could be your ex next week.  What will happen if they decide that e-Venge is easier than revenge?  Remember the Internet never forgets!

What is cyberstalking?  What is a Google bomb?  What is this crazy thing calling cyber defamation?

CYBER-HAWKS THAT STALK:  A new HEIGHT of cybercrimes, stalking, stolen identities, cyber-corruption and criminal predators with a keypad

Do you believe your online image, reputation and character are protected? Firewalls broken – hackers hacking – and you are now virtually invaded! Learn from my $11M defamation verdict that changed Internet Culture.

Google Bomb (n) or “link bomb”: Internet slang for a certain kind of attempt to raise the ranking of a given page in results from a Google search. (Wikipedia)

I was a regular person who found out in the most evil way what slander awaited her in cyberspace. My organization, reputation, and identity were stolen, livelihood ruined, her mental health threatened after viral defamatory statements emerged. I was hit with a Google bomb.

Like an epidemic, Google bombs are the latest lethal legal weapon to destroy character and reputations. Our First Lady was hit. No one is immune.  We must be proactive in maintaining our virtual profile.

Still standing and thriving after all she endured both personally and professionally, Scheff now helps others understand the depths of the Internet and what happens when revenge turns to e-venge.

IN THE NEWS: Over 400 newspapers have featured this landmark case. Including a 4-Part LA Times Series, Washington Post, Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, AARP, and many more.  Here are snippets of my advice on how to protect your image:

• Wall Street Journal “Until you go through a vengeful attack on your good name, service or business, you have no idea what a Google bomb can do to you.”
• AARP- “Limit the amount of information you provide on the Internet,” she now advises others. “The Internet is not only an educational tool, it can be a lethal weapon,”
• Washington Post –“if you don’t own your own name, someone else will.”
• Family Circle – “Use extreme caution…Whatever you say in the kitchen goes into your kid’s ears and can come out on the computer screen – and go viral!”
• LA Times – “We need very real repercussions for violating a reporter’s privacy in a motel room with a peep camera for mass voyeuristic consumption.”
• LA Times – “The malicious stroke of a key has become the equivalent of a cyberbullet.” 

Spy v spy

America is constantly under attack, and the National Security Agency (NSA), America’s top intelligence network, has been working with Internet Service Provider’s (ISP’s) in attempts to foil cyber-attacks. Here are some of the ways the agency and ISP’s work together. Some ISP cooperation has been voluntary, but in many instances ISP’s have had little choice in the matter.

1. Existing Cooperation Between NSA and ISP’s – AT&T and Verizon have been handing the NSA voice and data traffic for years; once illegal, laws have been changed to allow the practice. The Foreign Intelligence Security Act (FISA) of 1978 paved the way for greater government utilization of civilian companies and, eventually, ISP’s.
2. CALEA – In 1994, Congress enacted a program called the Communications Assistance for Law Enforcements Act (CALEA), a program that required all providers of Internet service, including phone companies, ISP’s, colleges and even coffee shops to install equipment that would allow the government to monitor almost all Internet activity.
3. The Patriot Act – In the fallout from the 9/11 attacks, warrantless surveillance was introduced, and even though opposing voices were raised there was enough fear of additional attacks that the program was enacted without effective judicial review, and the Bush administration titled it the Terrorist Surveillance Program.
4. Recent Developments – In May of 2011, it was reported that defense contractor Lockheed-Martin had come under cyber-attack, and, in a novel move, the defense industry, ISP’s and the NSA joined together to launch a program that would enable the NSA to utilize data sets to identify malicious programs that had been slipped into data streams received by Lockheed-Martin and others. ISP’s would then be able to disable the threats before they reached company servers.
5. Unknown Threats – Right now, the NSA technology and the ISP’s ability to filter Internet traffic is only effective against known threats, and work is under way to develop methods of detecting threats that are more ambiguously presented.
6. LulzSec and Anonymous – LulzSec and Anonymous are a pair of hacking groups that have declared a virtual war on manifold targets like media companies and mega-corporations; these are among the types of threats the NSA and ISP’s hope to neutralize.
7. Civil Liberties – Any time a government begins to monitor its citizen’s personal or business communications, there is a very real threat to the civil liberties of that citizenry.
8. Technology – The NSA, which employs more than 40,000 people, is at the forefront of many aspects of Internet security technology, which makes partnership with ISP’s possible.
9. Data Bases – ISP’s control incredible data flows, and their ability to monitor vast amounts of information makes them indispensable in any credible attempt to disable cyber-attacks.
10. What We Don’t Know – In a cyber-world infused with secrets, we may never truly know the depth of interactivity between ISP’s and government agencies like the NSA.

More threats are inevitable, and continued cooperation between the NSA and ISP’s is truly needed.

Source:  Internet Service Providers

The Internet as a technology for information and quick, inexpensive communication may be fascinating for millions around the globe, but if put to malicious use against someone, it can be a paralyzing weapon.

That is what happened in the case of Sue Scheff, author of Google Bomb (HCI Books, 2009). In her book, co-authored with lawyer John W. Dozier, Sue tells the story of her victimization through serial defamatory attacks on the web that destroyed her professional career and trampled her personal reputation as well as her social life. Just by Googling her name, or that of her organization, countless people could mark her and her organization as evil entities, all because of false, malicious, and unchecked accusations (and even effusive abuse) made against her by someone who failed to use her for her own vested interests.

In today’s world, Google has become the measure of one’s reputation – hence the term “Google Bomb”. Standing up against the coercion, however, Sue finally won the historical $11.3 million defamation suit against the culprit responsible for her loss. It was very informative talking to Sue for an interview to run in the journal Recovering the Self (Vol. 3, No 1). Following is a slightly abridged version of Sue’s interview.

Read entire interview here.

Initially you are shocked – wondering who these people are?  Why are they doing this? In many situations, you don’t even know the perpetrator, but they certainly believe they know you!

In 2006 I won a landmark case for Internet Defamation and Invasion of Privacy.  It was a jury verdict of over $11M for damages done to my organization (Parents’ Universal Resource Experts) and myself.

I was literally bombarded with what are called “Google bombs” – and worse than that, they would attack my friends.  My friends would try to fight back and the more you debate these people (stalkers/bullies) the more they engage and it can go from bad to worse within a matter of a few minutes of keystrokes.

With stalkers/bullies, you will never win – Yes, I was vindicated in a court of law, but did that remove all the slime that was online?  It didn’t – and I continually have to spend time explaining these unfortunate people that have nothing better to do with their lives but to hurt others.  They no longer hurt me – I only feel terrible for others that have to listen to their ranting.

In my situation, many of my stalkers/bullies are former institutionalized patients – I represent and advocate for parents that are looking to get their at-risk teens help they need.  These stalkers/bullies don’t believe in residential therapy – maybe they had a bad experience, or maybe they just believe your teen is doing just fine smoking dope and skipping school – and possibly joining a gang – (why not, in many cases, they did it – and look at them now).  Yes – that is scary.

In my story, I did struggle with my teen daughter – I had to reach out for help, and unfortunately for my daughter and myself, I chose a program that was horrible.  It abused my daughter both emotionally and physically.  My story is documented in Wit’s End (Health Communications, Inc) or you can read an abbreviated version at www.aparentstruestory.com.

When I opened my organization, I was determined to help  parents not to get scammed into the same ordeal we went through.  I was actually sued by the program that abused my daughter (WWASPS – Carolina Springs Academy) for Internet Defamation.

I fought back and went to a jury trial in Utah in 2004, which I won with the truth.  The truth is always your defense.  No one condones child abuse.

When you can’t beat someone legally, the next best step today is taking it to the wild west of the Internet!  Yes, the next thing I realized I was being slammed online.  Called a child abuser, kidnapper, Ed-con, exploited families, a crook, and worse.  Some comments even got sexual and disgusting.  As my family and friends were reading this – I was mortified.  I had to take legal action.  The rest is history – as I won again in a jury trial for damages of over $11M.

Here we are in 2010 and I still have stalkers – but what I have learned from my experience is what others need to know when they are stalked.

• Never fuel it or engage in it – you will only fire it up.  The stalker/bully wants to get a reaction, as hard as it is, don’t do it.
• If you can, block him/her and report them to the moderator of the forum (ie: Twitter, Facebook, Blogspot, Google etc.)
• If you attempt to tell your side of the story, even when it is the truth, you will never win.  These people are determined to destroy you – no matter how blue the sky is, they will always be more determined it is green.
• Remember, when reading their crap, it is 99.9% twisted truths or outright lies.  They may tell you to go and read X, Y, and Z – but neglect to tell you to read A, B and C – which completes the story.  (For example, my stalker likes to tell people to read my trial transcripts – almost 1000 pages – and they direct you to certain page numbers, but unless you read the whole trial – you won’t understand those few pages, and I may look very bad – afterall, isn’t that the job of opposing counsel?)  What would happen if you only heard one side of a case in trial?  No one would hear the entire story.
• What motivates these stalkers and bullies?  That is a million dollar question.  Depending on who they are, in many cases they simply enjoy hurting others.  In my case I believe these are seriously deranged people that want all residential programs closed.  They don’t understand that many parents are only doing what is best for their teen.  Yes, I chose a bad program -but I have taken my mistakes and turned them around to help others.
• Ignoring them is the best form of defense you have. Again, it can be extremely difficult, but remember, the more you try to tell your story, the more they will distort it.  You will never win.  It is just a matter of time and unfortunately for someone else, they will move on to another target.

There are lots of great online resources with more information on bullying:

• http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/cyber-bullying.aspx
• http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying
• http://www.cyberbullying.us/
• http://connectsafely.org
• http://www.stompoutbullying.org

Learn more in my latest book – Google Bomb, The Untold Story of How the $11.3M Verdict Changed the Way We Use the Internet, Health Communications, Inc.

National Cyber Safety Awareness Month (NCSAM) is here.  October is a month that is highlighted by encouraging people to get in the know about their cyber and virtual safety.  Especially parents with kids and specifically – teens.

Why teens?  Because they are the ones that will most likely be applying to colleges or looking for employment and if their online resume isn’t kept updated and appropriate, chances are good that their won’t be accepted or they may not get that job.

PEW study shows that about 75% of all Americans are using the Internet. More importantly over 53% of people are Googling each other! Do you know what Google is saying about you?  Do you know what it says about your teenager?

It is time to “get in the know” and learn to maintain your digital profile.

Here are some quick tips to start. Remember, the Internet is today’s information highway and your name has a road sign.

1. Sign up for free services and post your resume or other information that pertains to your services, business, profession etc. Some of these services are Naymz.com, LookUpPages.com, Ziggs.com, LinkedIn.com.

2. For teenagers that will be applying for colleges, keep in mind, what you post today can haunt you tomorrow. More and more college admissions are using search engines to research their potential candidates. Take the time to secure your social networking sites and other places you surf.  What does this mean? Keep it clean.  Don’t post anything you wouldn’t want to show your parents or your grandparents!

3. Be sure to own your own name. Sign up for free services on Blogs with your name as the URL. Blogger.com and WordPress.com are two that are most frequently used. Try to keep them updated as time permits, however owning them is most important.

4. Set up your Google Alerts. You want to know when your name it being used online. This is another free service that will take you minutes to set up and keep you informed when your name is posted on the Internet. Twilert.com is used for Twitter Alerts. This is another free service to be alerted if people are using your name on Twitter.

5. Buy your domain name. This can be minimum in costs and the return will be priceless. Purchasing your name through GoDaddy or another source, can cost you about $9.99 a year (ie: www.suescheff.com). Building a small website can also be cost effective. GoDaddy offers services to assist you. You may even know someone that can build this for you. Most teens today are very proficient with their technology skills.

Back to where we started, helping your teen get into your college of their choice, or you want to land your dream job and you want to keep your online profile up to date. Take the steps to make that happen.

Read more.

We open National Cyber Safety Awareness Month (NCSAM) with a few educational and informational websites with some top resources you need to keep safe in cyberspace.  Resources that have been consistent in keeping up with the changing times online and people, books and websites that can help you help your teens and children stay safe.

1.  Connect Safely – ConnectSafely is for parents, teens, educators, advocates – everyone engaged in and interested in the impact of the social Web. The user-driven, all-media, multi-platform, fixed and mobile social Web is a big part of young people’s lives, and this is the central space – linked to from social networks across the Web – for learning about safe, civil use of Web 2.0 together. Our forum is also designed to give teens and parents a voice in the public discussion about youth online safety begun back in the ’90s. ConnectSafely also has all kinds of social-media safety tips for teens and parents, the latest youth-tech news, and many other resources.

2.  YourSphere and YourSphere for Parents - Yoursphere.com offers a vibrant, online, interactive, experience for kids and teens. Member’s safety and privacy come first through the application of common sense safeguards. The site devotes a hyper-focus towards supporting the positive interests, talents and aspirations of its members.

3.  Cyber Safe Family – CyberSafeFamily.com was formed to educate parents on internet safety because we believe education is the key in keeping kids safe online.  Many parents are intimidated by today’s technology and overwhelmed with these questions.

4. PG Key – PG Key was created by a design and development team that includes industry experts with years of experience in creating powerful yet easy to use software applications. In addition to the experienced technical members, the team also includes representatives from law enforcement (an FBI agent that specializes in cyber crimes), education (a Ph.D. that currently serves as a district superintendent), the medical community (an M.D. and current member of the American Board of Pediatrics) and many others … including ordinary, non-technical, but concerned parents.

5. Wired Moms – Wired Moms is a coalition of moms and mom groups with a central focus of connecting with their families through technology and to getting the most out of the new innovations that make their lives easier and more fun and keeping our kids and ourselves safe online.

6.  Fortalice Solutions, LLC - In bits and bytes, the digital world holds pieces of our lives. And the team at Fortalice are your watchmen, because protection of your information is worth fighting for.Fortalice is a computer security firm.  A team of experienced cybercrime fighters helping governments, businesses and consumers protect their cyberturf. We design, develop and deploy customized IT solutions that help fend off the bad guys. But cybersecurity isnʼt always about technology. Itʼs about arming people with the knowledge to defend themselves.Over the last twenty years, our team of experts has taught the United States Government, some of the countryʼs largest banks and thousands of consumers how to safeguard their information.

7.  ReputationDefender - ReputationDefender was created in 2006 to defend your good name on the Internet. Today, ReputationDefender has grown to be the world’s first comprehensive online reputation management and privacy company. We’re the most experienced and most technologically innovative company of our kind. With customers in over 35 countries, ReputationDefender is proud to serve a global customer base throughout the world’s largest community – the Internet.

8.  Veritate et Virtute – Christopher Burgess - Author – Speaker – Humanitarian – Senior Security Advisor – - – My focus is on Safety, Security, Intelligence, Intellectual Property and Humanitarian issues. I put particular emphasis on the protection of both the young and the elderly of our society. I co-authored w/Richard Powers: “Secrets Stolen, Fortunes Lost: Preventing Intellectual Property Theft and Economic Espionage in the 21st Century” My published works, books & articles, audio pod-casts and video presentations can be found at www.secretsstolen.com.

9. Look Both Ways – Linda Criddle – LOOKBOTHWAYS Inc.’s mission is to make the Internet safer for all consumers. In addition to providing free web resources to consumers, LOOKBOTHWAYS Inc. specializes in understanding the Human Factor in Online Safety. The company develops internet safety technologies; provides product design, safety reviews, and other consulting services to leading technology companies; and advises regulatory bodies, and various law enforcement agencies.

10.  Google Bomb Book - The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict That Changed The Way We Use The Internet – In today’s technology-dependent world, the Internet has become a legal lethal weapon against the privacy and reputations of its users. Based on Sue Scheff’s landmark Internet defamation case that gave face to online harassment, cyberbulling, privacy invasion, and Google™ bombs (the practice of manipulating the ranking of web pages), and stirred Internet regulation and free-speech debates, Google™ Bomb arms readers with information, legal advice, and reputation defense (and clean up) mechanisms from one of the country’s top cyber abuse attorneys, John W. Dozier, Jr.

11. iKeepSafe – The Internet Keep Safe Coalition is a broad partnership of governors and/or first spouses, attorneys general, public health and educational professionals, law enforcement, and industry leaders working together for the health and safety of youth online.  iKeepSafe® uses these unique partnerships to disseminate safety resources to families worldwide.

12. Net Cetera OnGuard Online – Net Cetera covers what you need to know, where to go for more information, and issues to raise with kids about living their lives online.  OnGuardOnline.gov encourages you to use this guide with your kids, in your school, at your PTA meeting, or anywhere else parents might gather. Feel free to order as many free copies as you’d like, put your own sticker on it, reprint sections in a newsletter or on a website, download a button or link to it, or even reprint it with your own logo. These materials are in the public domain.  To order free copies of Net Cetera, visit bulkorder.ftc.gov. To find out more about reprinting the guide, contact OnGuardOnline@ftc.gov.

This is only a short list, there are many more.  Locally, parents should check their local Sheriff’s Office websites.  In Broward County, they offer an Internet Safety page for kids.

This list is in no particular order.  All have valuable information.

Do you have more, please add them to comments!  Include websites too!  Paying it forward to keep everyone safe in this new digital world!

Read more.

Cyber Rape: Exposing the Psychological Horrors of Virtual Violation

By Tim Handorf

 We all know by now that crimes on the Internet parallel, in many ways, crimes in “real life.” There’s fraud and thefts of all sorts, there’s verbal sexual abuse toward children, and there’s also non-stop internet trolling that has become out-and-out defamation and libel. So if all these crimes are possible in our increasingly invested virtual worlds, then is rape, too, a viable Internet crime?

A case that raised some eyebrows a few years ago occurred on Second Life, a virtual world that has become almost indistinguishable from real life. Companies use it to meet clients, users have actually made significant amounts of real money, and some even devote hours online to building a social network, making love to significant others, and bearing and raising children. Apparently, if you stick with it long enough, using entrepreneurial skills that you would employ in the real world, you can even become a Second Life (and real life) millionaire.

What happens then, when an avatar (a virtual representation of a “real” person, who carries with it all the vestiges from real life—a personality, a reputation, and everything else our social lives may entail) rapes another avatar in a vicious manner? Is this cause for “real life” police intervention? Well in 2007, Belgian police briefly investigated a virtual rape case exactly as described.

 Now many think it borders on the ridiculous that the rape of what is essentially a video game character could be anything tantamount to rape in its physical manifestations. However, Maria Korolow in Hypergrid Business, suggests an interesting reconsideration. For those who have never experienced a virtual world, of course the idea seems absurd. However, it is quite astounding the extent to which real people—hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions—strongly identify with their virtual counterparts.

What’s more, behind these “virtual” entities are real people, and they interact with each other (although via Instant messenger, of course) as real people would. So what are we to think when a user has established relationships in a virtual world, thinks herself safe and free to pursue her own virtual interests—whether it be going to a party, attending a business meeting, or having children—and is suddenly, violently, and horrendously “raped” by an avatar who represents a real person? Are the psychological effects of rape in the real and virtual worlds, then, not exactly the same? In a now famous Village Voice article, Julian Dibble explored these questions when a similarly terrifying rape incident occurred in the early virtual reality world LambdaMOO.

Whatever the answer to this question is, I believe that cyber rape, and the extent to which it can be carried out, should be investigated further. As a phenomenon in virtual reality, we should think about its implications, simply because we are immersing ourselves more and more in these worlds as the Internet continues to develop and integrate itself into every moment of our lives.

 By-line:

This guest post is contributed by Tim Handorf, who writes on the topics of top online colleges.  He welcomes your comments at his email Id:  tim.handorf.20@googlemail.com.

As bullying is escalating in our country, cyberbullying is growing rapidly.  With sites like Formspring.me, it only fuel the fire of cyber sticks and stones that burn and scar emotionally. 

Recently Danah Boyd wrote an excellent article after doing research on this hot topic amongst parents of teens and tweens.  Titled, Harassment by Q&A: Initial Thoughts on Formspring.me, Danah’s hypothesis is the following:

Teen girls engaged in responding to crass questions are using Formspring to prove that they’re tough to their peers. Teen boys and girls are throwing curve balls at their peers to see how much they can handle, primarily using mean-spirited and sexualized language. While staying tough is clearly part of the game, it’s also clear from my informants that the harassment is playing a psychological toll. I’ve talked to numerous parents who are shocked by how their children’s peers are using this site and in most cases, knowledgeable parents demand that their children delete their profiles at once. One parent told me the story of her daughter’s friend who didn’t want to take her profile down because it would “look weak.” This girl and her mother got into a huge fight over Formspring because the girl didn’t want to let on that she cared about what people were saying about her on the site. I can’t help but think about my own teen years and my attempts to look unfazed by swirling rumors while throwing up in the bathroom when no one was looking. – Read her entire article here.

As a parent, do you know if your teen or tween is engaging in Formspring.me?  Many parents are outraged over this new form of harassment, it seems clear it is  just another form to teens to emotionally scar teens.  It is time this stops. 

Boycott Formspring Group states the following:

As many of you probably know, many people are bullied, harassed, and abused on this site called Formspring. Formspring is nothing but negativity. All it does is make people upset due to insults and harassment. Don’t let formspring take another life. Join the movement. Delete yours now.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.

This article is based on the opinion of the author.  Watch video and read more.

What do you do if your child is being bullied at school?

By Jane Balvanz

The spotlight is again on bullying in schools due to the gut-wrenching suicide of Phoebe Prince.  Phoebe was the 15-year-old girl who moved from Ireland to South Hadley, Massachusetts.  She suffered physical and emotional bullying at the hands of some of her classmates.  There was a campaign of relational aggression against her via texting, Facebook, and other forms of social media.  According to Phoebe, school was becoming intolerable.

It’s essential parents are prepared to work in partnership with their child’s school to squelch bullying.   If it becomes necessary to contact the school, the following steps will guide you. Remember, you and the school are allies in your child’s education.  Work together.  Every child deserves the right to a safe education.

   1. Assess the situation – Find the answers to the following questions.

• Is bullying happening? Bullying is a pattern of unwanted behaviors toward another. Conflict is a problem between persons. Kids can misunderstand the difference. All bullying is conflict, but not all conflict is bullying.
• How has your child responded to the bullying? Find out if she has attempted to solve the problem herself and in what way.
• Has your child informed any school authorities? Whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, NEVER assume school authorities have been told. Some kids don’t tell.
• What was the school’s response? Discover if there is a plan in place between your child and an adult in the school.

Proceed to Step 2 if your child will not go to the teacher, you need additional information, or more help is in order.

2. Contact the school authority closest to your child or the situation. If a school authority is already involved, get in touch with this person to exchange information. If your child has not told anyone at school, contact the classroom teacher, homeroom teacher, or school counselor.  It is not necessary to go “straight to the top” if the problem is solvable at a different level.  It’s appropriate to contact the principal first if the problem is intense or complicated.  Although most bullying issues can be solved at the building level, parents should feel free to contact the superintendent or school board when possibilities at the building level are exhausted.

3. Create a home and school collaboration plan. Call, e-mail, or make an appointment with the teacher or counselor. Create a plan of safety within the school setting. Some plans can be as simple as teaching the bullied child to inform the teacher when bullying occurs. Others can be as elaborate as school personnel collecting names of bullies and witnesses, conducting interviews, and creating a custom made plan to protect targets.

4. Monitor the situation with the school as necessary. Safety plans need to be adjusted as time goes along. The best case scenario is an email to the teacher that says – success!  Conversely, a bullied student may suffer retaliation when bullies receive consequences, and extra attention then is essential.

 Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com.