Sue Scheff: The Consequences of Sexting
by Sue Scheff on Feb 27, 2010
Sexting is a word that years ago we would have not heard about. Today teens and tweens are not only familiar with this word, many have suffered the consequences from it.
A Thin Line debuted on MTV this month that educates and informs parents, teachers, kids and everyone about the dangers of the digital world.
What is Sexting?
Sending or forwarding nude, sexually suggestive, or explicit pics on your cell or online. For some people, it’s no big deal. But real problems can emerge when the parties involved are under 18, when people get pressured into sexting, and when sexts go viral. – A Thin Line
What are the consequences of sending or receiving one? There are many, however the most common are the feelings of humiliation, embarrassment and much worse. The person that is in the photo can potentially suffer from extreme depression and even feelings of suicide.
For the person sending them to go viral, there could be potential criminal charges. You could get arrested. Taking, sending, and possessing naked images of a minor is a federal crime. Sex offenders’ registry? Not the honor roll you were hoping for.
Parents need to take the time to sit down and talk to their kids about sexting and how it can potentially ruin lives for a long time. Review their phones or computers if you suspect that your child is participating in this activity. Remember, there comes a time when safety trumps privacy and this could be one of those times.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.
Watch A Thin Line on Sexting in America. Watch the four-part series with your children.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexting, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues, Texting
Sue Scheff: Chatroulette – A New Concern for Parents
by Sue Scheff on Feb 24, 2010
A 17 year-old boy in Moscow created a new chatroom website: Chatroulette.
“I created this project for fun,” Andrey Ternovskiy wrote in an e-mail to the paper. “Everyone finds his own way of using the site. Some think it is a game, others think it is a whole unknown world, others think it is a dating service.” - New York Times
What does this mean for parents? Another website to monitor and talk to your kids about. If you haven’t heard of Chatroulette, you may think that talking about it will only create curiosity with your kids. It may, however knowing about it can help you to be educated about it and talk to your teens intelligently about Chatroulette.
Chatroulette gives a person an opportunity to communicate, converse with people they would otherwise never know. It is talking to strangers. Anonymity encourages all types of people with a variety of colorful stories (whether true or not). This site is not blocked for minors, so it is up to the parents to be sure they have their parental controls and filters in place.
However remember, no matter how many fire walls you install, blocks to websites, etc…. unless your child understands the dangers, they will always find a way to get to where they want to surf. It is as easy as going to a friend’s computer, your local library or even an Internet café with their allowance.
Education is key. As a parent you should learn about this latest trend and talk to your kids about it.
While Promise of New Web Site Is to Connect Strangers, the Practice Can Be Something Creepier - Good Morning America
Watcher video and read more on Examiner.
Tags: Chatrooms, Chatroulette, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Safety, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Chat rooms, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Think before you click send – Have you ever recevied a “Nasty-Gram?”
by Sue Scheff on Feb 20, 2010
It is more likely than not that you have typed an email filled with anger and hit send before thinking about the consequences. It is even likely you have received an email that hurt your feelings and was simply ugly.
Emails fly through the day and through the night. Once you hit send, it could be the end of a friendship, job, relationship, or even marriage. Have you reviewed your email and thought about who will be seeing it? Who will be reading it? Or if it ends up as an exhibit in a court of law, will it come back to haunt you?
We can learn to maintain our stress level through breathing exercises or even counting to a hundred. It would benefit you if you are angry, upset, or have to deliver not so good news, to think twice before hitting send. Put that email in your drafts, think on it for twenty-four hours.
Like with bullying, these emails can have lasting emotional affects on the person receiving it. Is that your intent? If so, you truly need to step back from the keypad or mouse and re-evaluate this situation.
Teens and kids don’t always think before they hit send. Take the time to teach your children about the liabilities of sending “nasty-grams“. What you post or send today, may come back to haunt you tomorrow.
Think twice before you launch that email!
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Cyberbullying, Internet Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Issues
Sue Scheff: Happy Valentine’s Day – Use Caution with Your Social Media V-Day Gifts
by Sue Scheff on Feb 14, 2010
Reputation Defender, the leader in protecting your online profile and helping you maintain your honest image, has some great advice on sending and receiving social media Valentine’s gifts.
Source: Reputation Defender Blog
This Valentine’s Day, keeping things “personal” between you and your significant other may mean not using social media or other online tools to express your genuine feelings. In other words, NOT sending Facebook flowers/hugs/lingerie/other assorted virtual gifts to someone you truly care about; NOT using E-Cards as a replacement for the real thing; and NOT uploading a video of yourself lip syncing (or worse actually singing) Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” in your underwear to YouTube to share with your partner and the rest of the online community. More often than not, the real thing is much more effective.
With those thoughts in mind, we here at ReputationDefender have compiled some Valentine’s Day social media tips designed to keep the day special for just you and whoever you choose to share it with:
- Keep your Tweets and Facebook status updates PG-13 rated
Nobody wants to read about your Valentine’s night plans, no matter how subtle you are. So instead of tweeting “At the grocery store buying strawberries and chocolate sauce, hint, hint” or updating with “Can’t wait for my night with (add name here),” just keep it to yourself. Your Facebook friends will thank you for keeping mushy, gushy stuff off their update streams and your partner won’t hate you for announcing plans for “Horizontal mambo time.”
- Don’t text or e-mail that “special” Valentine’s Day picture to your partner.
You can never be too sure where it’s going to end up. It’s well know that data doesn’t just disappear into a World Wide Web black-hole, never to appear again. It goes somewhere. So unless you want that sexy, pouty lipped image of you dressed in leopard lingerie to pop up on Hot or Not or God knows where else, save the outfits (or lack of outfits) for personal time.
- Avoid the myriad “Who’s your perfect match?”, “What type of lover are you?”, and “Are you meant to be together?” quizzes on Facebook and other websites.
While knowing whether or not you’re compatible with Jessica Alba is helpful information, basing a relationship off of or even bothering to take an online quiz is about as constructive as proposing via Twitter. Besides being time wasters, quizzes can be detrimental to a relationship depending on how much thought you give them (“What do you mean I’m not your perfect match!?!”) and often are managed by third-party developers (who are known to have security issues).
- Being genuine often means going the extra mile.
Nobody wants to read “I love you” in a tweet, Facebook message, or e-mail, particularly on Valentine’s Day. A Valentine’s Day E-Card is just as impersonal with the added annoyance that it’s carrying possible malware. Your best bet is sticking to tradition, i.e. cards, candies, flowers, etc. Besides preventing images or text from being seen by the wrong people, the traditional approach to Valentine’s Day says you care enough to at least stop at the drug store or supermarket on your way over.
Photo: XKCD
Tags: Cyber Safety, Holidays, Internet Safety, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Reputation Defender, Social Media, Sue Scheff, Valentine's Day
Sue Scheff: Have You Reviewed Your Teen’s Social Networking Site? Teen Expelled for FB Posting
by Sue Scheff on Jan 31, 2010
Just months away from graduation, 17 year-old Tennessee student, Taylor Cummings, was recently expelled from his high school. Why?
After weeks of butting heads with his coaches, Taylor, 17, logged on to the popular social networking site from home Jan. 3. He typed his frustrations for the online world to see: “I’ma kill em all. I’ma bust this (expletive) up from the inside like nobody’s ever done before.” - USA Today
A few nasty keystrokes and a click of the mouse and your life can be turned upside down! Whether you are a student, business owner, parent, or anyone that uses social networking, remember, what goes online – stays online.
Google Bomb, The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict That Changed the Way We Use the Internet, is an example of an adult being held accountable. Free speech does not condone defamation.
In many schools now there is a zero tolerance for these types of threats. We have had many sad endings with cyber threats, cyber suicides, cyberbullying, cyber stalking and other various ways that kids are hurting each other via keystrokes.
Taylor Cummings had a public profile on Facebook without any restrictions on who could see it. This in itself should be a wake-up call to many. Take the time to secure your privacy settings. Think twice before allowing your profile to be public.
Parents should take the time to review their children’s social networking sites. Especially those that have teens that will be applying to colleges. More and more colleges are using search engines to research their applicants. What is Google saying about you?
This is not about invading your child’s privacy, it is about protecting their future.
Take the time to maintain your online image and learn to stop, think and consider what you are about to post or send. Will it be considered threatening? Will it be considered defamatory? Is it targeted to hurt someone? Take the time to educate your children and teens about “what they post today, may haunt them tomorrow…”
Be an educated parent – you will have safer teens.
Read more on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Facebook, Internet Safety, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Social Networking, Sue Scheff, Teen Postings
Sue Scheff: Don’t Get Caught Naked Online!
by Sue Scheff on Jan 15, 2010
- Are you looking for employment?
- Is your teen applying to colleges?
- Do you run a small business?
- Are you dating online?
- Does your career depend on your reputation?
It’s official; PEW study shows that about 75% of all Americans are using the Internet. More importantly over 53% of people are Googling each other! Do you know what Google is saying about you?
If you fall in any of the categories above, you have reason to be concerned about your virtual image. Being caught naked online doesn’t necessarily mean “butt” naked, however it does mean virtually exposed in ways that may not be flattering to you or your quest in life.
Google Bomb, The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict that Changed The Way We Use The Internet, is a great place to start on repairing and/or polishing your online image. Learn from my story, gain from my virtual disaster that lead to an awareness of the power of a keystroke. Google Bomb also offers great tools to help you dress yourself up online.
For more great tips on maintaining your virtual profile, visit my series on Virtual Vanity.
Order Google Bomb book today and take control of your wardrobe virtually – remember, whether you are applying for a job, going on a date, or interviewing for admissions at a college – chances are very high someone will be Googling you.
What is a Google bomb?
Google Bomb (n) or “link bomb”: Internet slang for a certain kind of attempt to raise the ranking of a given page in results from a Google search. (Wikipedia)
Insure your cyber profile. Learn how to wear your virtual clothes.
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Image, Cyber Safety, Google Bomb, Google Bomb Book, Internet Profile, Internet Safety, Internet Slander, Online Reputation
Sue Scheff: Reading Your Teen’s Emails and Text Messages
by Sue Scheff on Jan 09, 2010
Recently we read about whether parents should read their child’s diary or journal. With the advances of technology, we need to take this a step further: Should you read their emails or text messages?
Again we can go back to “when safety trumps privacy.”
Our teens deserve to be trusted unless they give us reason to suspect something is wrong. Is their behavior changing? Here is a review of some warning signs (many are the same to determine if you should read their diaries).
- Is your teen becoming very secretive? Sure, teens do like their privacy, however if you have a “gut feeling” something is deeper than a secret, you may have to cross that line.
- Is your teen becoming withdrawn? Again, teens will develop some attitudes of not wanting to be with adults, however when it becomes extreme, it may be time to cross that line.
- Is your teen changing peer groups? And this is not into a better one, however to one that is less than desirable? You will again attempt to talk to your teen and find out why and what happened to the other friends.
- Is your teens eating habits changing?
- Is your teen sleeping a lot? Bloodshot eyes? Do you suspect drug use?
- Is your teen sneaking out? Becoming extremely defiant? Not respecting your boundaries?
- Are they overly protective of their cell phones or computer?
- Do they hide their cell phones?
- Are they anxious when at their computer, seem fearful, attempt to hide their incoming emails?
- Overall, is your teen slowly becoming a child you don’t recognize?
Like with determining if you should invade their privacy with their journals or diary, unless your teen or tween gives you good reason to read their private text and emails, as parents, we should respect their privacy.
When it comes to younger children, under 10 years old, parents should always be allowed to see what they are doing. Most younger children are usually not as protective as teens or tweens. As a responsible parent, you will know when there are red flags or warning signs and you need to step in.
Keeping an open dialog with your tweens and teens is critical. Letting them know you are there for them as well as talking to them about the issues of sexting, cyberbullying, predators and other areas of concern.
Should you read your child’s emails or text messages? Only you can answer that.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer children.
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cyber Safety, Emails, Internet Safety, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Privacy, Sue Scheff, Text Messages
Sue Scheff: One Click Away….
by Sue Scheff on Jan 02, 2010
Have you thought about how dangerous a “click of a mouse” is? Dangerous?
As you start a new year, take the time to educate yourself on Internet safety. Learn how you can become proactive in your kids lives both online and off. Learn how that one click can either open doors that you can benefit from, or enter hallways are dark and dangerous.
You can put as many parent safety controls on your computer system. You can employ technical gadgets galore, but until you educate yourself and your kids about the dangers that can lurk online, you and your family are not 100% protected.
Yes, you can be just one click away: Be sure it is a click into safety not danger.
- Social Web Tips for Parents
- Social Web Tips for Teens
- Chat room Safety Tips - Know who your kids are mingling with online.
- Basic Online Safety Tips: Parenting 101 Cyber Safety
- Learn about Internet Predators
- Internet Things Your Children Should Never Know
- Parenting 2010: Getting Ahead of your kids technically
- SEXTING: Learn how you can prevent it
- T.A.L.K.
Did you order your FREE Cyber Safety Booklet from the FTC?
Be an educated parent, you will have safer kids!
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Chat Room Safety, Cyber Safety, Internet Safety, Online Safety, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Online, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff
Sue Scheff: Sexting – What Parents Need to Know
by Sue Scheff on Dec 28, 2009
Parenting resolutions are ones that you can’t afford to ignore or neglect after a few weeks. One of 2009’s hot and trendy topics is “sexting.” What is sexting? It is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones.
We don’t need more reminders of what sexting can cause emotionally to students. In Florida we had the sad story of cyber tragedy that ended in the suicide of 13 year-old Hope Witsell.
Here are some tips and what parents need to know and use now and in 2010. (Source: Saratoga County District Attorney James Murphy):
Set time of day limits on cell phone usage: While many parents have a hard time regulating the number of texts per month and have surrendered to “unlimited texting”, you can control the hours that your teen texts. We suggest determining a time when cell phones come of the pocket or out of the bedroom and are placed in a central location on a charger along with your cell phone. Kids who are permitted to keep their cell phones in their room overnight on average get less sleep and are often times texting in the middle of the night. Make the right choice in allowing your teen to obtain uninterrupted sleep by limiting the hours that they have phone access and set rules on when texting is appropriate.
Take laptops out of your child’s bedroom: While computers and the Internet provide wonderful educational opportunities and help teens study, they also can provide 24 hour access to social networking sites, instant messaging and email at times when children are not supervised. By removing computers from the teen’s bedroom and placing them in a central location, like a family room or kitchen, teens are less likely to have inappropriate contact through the computer and are more likely to notify a parent about an unusual or disturbing message.
Keep computers and laptops in a common area: Studies have shown that teenagers are less likely to engage in risky behavior if they are accessing the Internet in a common room or area where others are likely to be present. This is even true if no one is standing over their shoulder. Just the fact that you can glance at what is on the screen is enough to make kids think twice before going to inappropriate Internet sites or having conversations with individuals who they may not know. Keeping the computer in a common area can only help your child make safe decisions.
Know your child’s username and password: While some parents and most all kids groan at the idea of allowing you access to their social networking page, email account or instant messaging, it really is important. The fact that you have access to the information, despite the fact that you may never actually look, protects kids from making bad choices. What’s more, in the unlikely event that something should happen to your child, rather than wasting valuable time while law enforcement obtains subpoenas or search warrants, you can quickly access your child’s personal Internet conversations and contacts in a matter of seconds. In nearly all cases, once law enforcement is given the access to the on line material, a missing child has been returned or someone who is targeting your child has been apprehended. It’s a small piece of information that can have remarkable results if necessary.
Talk to your child about cyberbullying: Today’s bullies are no longer the stereotypical “tough kid” in school, but can often times be a physical small child or a straight “A” student. Cyberbullying can happen around the clock due to Internet and cell phone access, which makes your home no longer “safe” from the bully. With 24-hour access to technology, bullying can continue no matter where the victim goes. Talk to your child about bullying and being bullied. If you feel your child is the target of cyberbullying notify law enforcement immediately.
Be sure to read the Five-Part series of Parenting in 2010 and how you can become better in tune with your kids technically ending with T.A.L.K.
Reminder: 2009 Parenting Tips Wrap-up - Continue to keep those lines of communication open.
Subscribe to my articles to be up-to-date with parenting and Internet safety information.
Also on Examiner.
Tags: Cell Phone Safety, Cyber Safety, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sexting, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Texting
Sue Scheff: Parenting 2010 (part 1)
by Sue Scheff on Dec 14, 2009
Part 1 of a 5 part series for a “virtual make-over” in 2010!
As quickly as the holiday’s have come upon us, New Year’s is literally weeks away. What will your resolution be as a parent?
Parenting teens today is extremely challenging. With all the technology, cell phones, i-Phones, i-Pods, and much more, how can parents keep up?
As many times as we hear we need to be ten steps ahead of our kids technically, it seems almost impossible.
Here is part one of a five part series. As a parent you need to consider this New Year’s resolution and take the time to make a difference in your child’s life – technically speaking right now.
“Time” is the key word, and you never know what you will learn from your child in this process. This is a resolution every parent needs to consider, and honestly can’t afford to ignore in today’s hi-tech society.
Part 1 - Sit down with your child, and especially those with teens, and review each others social networking sites. Is there questionable photo’s there? Are there words that are less than appropriate? Are there friends that may not be the best to associate with?
- Explain why the photo’s are not appropriate.
- Talk to your child about why certain language is questionable and people may see you in a false light.
- Give examples why a certain person may not be the best to associate with.
Children and teens need to understand what the post today can haunt them tomorrow. Teens need to understand the consequences of college recruiters that will Google you and may exclude you from consideration due to a questionable online presence. Children need to understand that they are vulnerable to Internet Predators and how to block contact from potential monsters that lurk online.
Part 2 – New Year’s Resolution for parents: Create a family Blog for you and your teens.
Part 3 – Learn to monitor your children and teens online.
Part 4 – Books, resources and services for parents to learn more about online information.
Part 5 – T.A.L.K. Learn to keep those lines of communication open both online and off!
References for parents to review: Social Web Tips for Teens, Chatroom Safety Tips, Cell Phone Safety Tips, Social Web Tips for Parents
Don’t forget to subscribe to my articles to be alerted when updated information on parenting and Internet Safety is posted.
Tags: Blogging, Cyber Safety, Family Safety, Internet Presence, Internet Safety, New Year's Resolution, Online Safety, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Parenting Teens Online, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Virtual Presence
