How many time do I hear from parents how their teen has become someone they barely recognize? Their attitude. Their defiance. Their blatant disrespect. Clearly they are rebellious and how are we supposed to handle this?
Some great tips are here!
How to Handle Teenage Rebellion
Many parents with teenagers are well aware that raising a teen presents a challenge. A teen’s attitude can fluctuate from being kind and well-behaved to rude and rebellious in a matter of seconds. Many want to know how to handle teenage rebellion, but several are unaware of where to start. Continue reading to learn how to handle your teenager’s rebellious stage and start establishing the role you’d like in their life.
1. Listen
One thing that many parents have difficulty with is listening to their teen. It’s crucial for both parent and teen to talk and share feelings with one another. In order to communicate effectively,be aware of where your child is coming from and what his/her mindset is. Listening cannot only help our relationship, but also help identify issues that need to be addressed.
2. Enforce Rules & Values
When teens are going through their rebellious period, they break rules. This behavior can be improved by consistently letting your child know what is expected of them. Eventually, behavior will improve. Aside from enforcing rules, discussing values can also aid in improving behavior. Values are a huge part of life and making your teen aware of them can help them through their rebellion and throughout their entire life.
3. Allow Some Distance
Every teen is going to be in a bad mood every now and then. When this occurs, parents need to give them some space. If your teen is neither violent nor destructive, give them some privacy. There is nothing wrong with giving them time to take a walk around the park alone or go in their room and lock the door. Sometimes, a few minutes alone can calm a teenager down.
4. Get to Know Teachers
Getting to know your teen’s teachers and developing a good relationship with them can make it much easier, as well as make both yourself and their teachers aware of behavior problems. This can help build a support system for the child and yourself too.
5. Support Group
Although you may believe that your teen is the issue, there is always room to work on yourself as a parent. A parent support group/parenting classes can teach you how to improve your home environment and inform you of better ways to handle your teen when the rebellion switches into full gear. Bettering yourself as a parent can benefit your rebellious teen significantly.
6. Family Counseling
Family counseling can help to address the underlying issues that led to the rebellion. Every rebellious period stems from an underlying issue. This can be anything from school to friends or yourself. Once the cause of your teen’s bad behavior is addressed, a family counselor can then give the family tips, strategies and skills to repair these issues.
Overal,l leaning to handle teenage rebellion requires work, patience and determination. Getting involved in their life without being invasive is a great place to start. Aside from that, these tips should be very helpful, because they have proven helpful to me time and again.
Contributor: Kim Richmonds likes to write about parenting & saving money at www.homeinsurance.org.
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As I speak to parents on a weekly basis, I often hear how maybe if their teen spent some time behind bars they would appreciate what they have, or if they struggled through a rough primitive program, Wilderness program, militant style, boot camp or that type of model, they could scare their teen straight…. I explain to them if they thought about another approach – finding a a program that can actually determine where this negative behavior is stemming from? From there work through it and start building to make it into a positive road to a bright future.
This recently released book almost seems to mirror what I have been thinking, though unfortunately, on a more extreme scale, these kids are incarcerated at a young age without a family that seems to truly care or without the means to get them outside help.
New Book Born, Not Raised: Voices From Juvenile Hall, Indicts Juvenile Justice System, Poor Parenting and Education Failures
San Diego Author Susan Madden Lankford, who explored homelessness and female incarceration in her two previous award-winning books, examines the plight of youngsters serving time in juvenile hall in her latest book BORN, NOT RAISED: Voices From Juvenile Hall (Humane Exposures Publishing).
For two years, Susan Lankford and her daughter Polly Smith interviewed more than 120 incarcerated teenagers, eight of them weekly. In this book she features their voices, views, writing and drawings—along with interviews with pediatric psychiatrists, neurobiologists, judges, probation officers and other professionals. In researching her previous book on women in jail, Lankford learned that a majority of them had at least two children in foster care, living with relatives or in detention. Because of the lack of basic parenting skills needed to produce productive individuals, many of their kids end up in jail, too.
“In studying these teens for BORN, NOT RAISED, I learned the major factors that added to or reduced the likelihood of their incarceration and recidivism,” Lankford explains. “One of the main things which I stress in the book is that there is a critical need for a family with a good-enough, consistent, loving and nurturing figure who helps children through the developmental stages to produce a curious, empathic and responsible youth, capable of resilience, adjustment, impulse control and good social skills.
“In this book I indict today’s educational system for its failure to respond to the needs of the global market and technology, as well as to the critical needs of students. I detail terrific programs which have discovered how to motivate kids who can’t meet classroom demands.
“A third major point is that we need to start teaching parenting early. Fourteen-year-olds in juvenile detention often have kids but have no idea how to parent properly. We also need to teach the reasons and means to avoid drugs, gangs and violence.”
Lankford believes that BORN, NOT RAISED contains information useful for university curricula, social work, psychology, criminal justice/corrections, medical school, law school, parents and parents-to-be.
“In researching this book, Polly and I became convinced that early education and youth development are the most effective strategies for breaking the cycle of at-risk behavior and helping youth from difficult backgrounds to learn the skills that will enable them to thrive,” Lankford concludes.
Order today on Amazon.
Watch a preview on YouTube.
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BOY INTERRUPTED Tells the story of a teenager who lost his battle with Bipolar Disease. This heartbreaking documentary debuts on Monday, August 3rd on HBO. On the night of Oct. 2, 2005, 15-year-old Evan Scott Perry ended a lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder by jumping from his New York City bedroom window, leaving behind heartbroken parents, beloved brothers and many friends. Director Dana Perry, along with her husband Hart Perry, tells the story of their son’s life and death in the heartbreaking documentary BOY INTERRUPTED.
Dana and Hart Perry share the intensely personal story of every parent’s worst nightmare: the death of a child by suicide. As professional filmmakers, they were accustomed to making extensive personal films and videos of the family, but never suspected that their footage of son Evan – taken from the moment of his birth throughout childhood and adolescence – would end up becoming the primary source material for this moving account. Casual and innocuous before his death, the home movies provide a visual record of Evan’s life, and help create an intimate portrait of this vibrant, troubled young man, supplemented by interviews with family, friends, doctors and teachers.
Evan Perry’s life was marked by intense mood swings that alarmed both his parents, who were determined not to allow him to follow in the footsteps of his uncle Scott, who had committed suicide in 1971. Despite his family’s vigilance, along with a new school, new friends and numerous therapy sessions and medication, Evan’s obsession with ending his life proved overwhelming. His 2005 suicide sent his reeling parents looking for answers from experts, friends and family members, as well as from the reams of video they’d taken of Evan through the years. BOY INTERRUPTED is a touching documentary showing that even the best defenses – love, vigilance and treatment – cannot always protect those most vulnerable from themselves.
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Kids Awareness Series has a variety of excellent parenting articles for children with ADD/ADHD, Anxiety disorders, learning differences and more. I recently read “Understanding My ADHD” by the founder of Kids Awareness, Kara Tamanini, a therapist and Author. It is a clear and concise book that children will be able to understand and relate to. Below is one of the articles Kara wrote, and I think many parents will gain from.
One type of anxiety disorder that is seen in a very young child is Separation Anxiety Disorder. To have fear or anxiety when a child is separated at a very young age from their parents is absolutely normal. However, when a child’s fears are irrational and their level of anxiety is excessive when they are separated from their parents, this may be separation anxiety. This disorder will usually present itself at a very young age, however to qualify for this diagnosis the symptoms of anxiety persist for a period of at least four weeks.
An anxiety disorder that is seen in children a bit older, approximately between the ages of six to nine years is specific phobias. A specific phobia is the marked or persistent fear that is excessive and unreasonable and the fear or anxiety is cued by the presence of a particular object or situation. Phobias that are very common in children are fear of heights, fear of being in the dark, or dogs or cats, loud noises, or thunderstorms. If the fear is excessive and persists, then professional help is needed. Research has shown that most anxiety disorders that are left untreated during childhood will continue to persist and the symptoms will be exacerbated by adulthood.
Anxiety disorders that are often seen during middle childhood are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder. While panic disorder is not seen as much in teenagers or during adolescence, it is often seen and can be very scary for older children and teenagers. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is a very common anxiety disorder that is seen in children, adolescents, and adults alike. GAD is when a child or teenager has excessive anxiety or worry occurring more than days than not over a period of six months over a number of events. In essence, these children seem to worry about everything and they find it difficult to control their worry symptoms. They also experience a number of physical symptoms such as fatigue, difficulty sleeping, irritability, muscle tension, and they have difficulty relaxing or winding down.
Social anxiety disorder is the persistent fear or one or more social or performance situations in which is a person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. In children, there must be evidence of the capacity for age-appropriate social relationships with familiar people and the anxiety must occur in peer settings, not just in interactions with adults.
Panic Disorder, whether a child or adolescent experiences the panic attack with or without Agoraphobia, is truly a very scary experience for them. Patients that I have seen over the years describe having a panic attack as the feeling that they are having a heart attack or that they are going to die. A panic attack is defined as a discrete period of intense fear or discomfort, in which four (or more) of the following symptoms developed abruptly and reached a peak within ten minutes. The symptoms of a panic attack are the same whether they are seen in a child or in an adult. They are heart palpitations, feeling dizzy, feeling of choking, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, sweating, fear of dying, nausea, chest pain, feelings of unreality, chills or hot flashes, numbness or a tingling sensation, and the fear of going crazy.
While this list is not conclusive of all of the anxiety disorders, the preceding anxiety disorders listed are those that are frequently seen in children and adolescence in a mental health setting. While children will experience the symptoms of anxiety in a very similar way as those seen in adult, the way that they handle or cope with the anxiety is very different and adults are often at a loss as to what to do to help their child. First, by understanding what constitutes an anxiety disorder, a parent is able to identify the symptoms and then develop a plan of action to obtain help for their child.
Kara T. Tamanini, M.S., LMHC
Author and Therapist
Founder of Kids Awareness Series
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Are you ready to make some very difficult decisions? Are you at your wit’s end?
Do you believe you need teen intervention from outside resources? Struggling financially and emotionally with this decision?
Are you willing to share your story on TV? This is not about exploiting your family, but helping others that are silently suffering and not realizing they are not alone as well as giving your teen a second opportunity at a bright future. Most remember Brat Camp – this is a bit different. Starting with educating parents about the first steps in getting your teen help - determination and transportation.
If you are interested in participating, read below and contact Bud and Evan directly.
Brentwood Communications International is an award-winning television production company in Los Angeles, California. We have recently begun work on a new television series about the real life work of interventionist / transporter Evan James Malmuth of Universal Intervention Services (“UIS”).
If you would be willing to allow us to film your case / intervention for the television series, Evan Malmuth and Universal Intervention Services will provide intervention / transportation services at no charge to you. In addition, we will negotiate at least one month of treatment services at a qualified treatment center at no charge with the purchase of at least two additional months of treatment at pre-negotiated discount rates. At the current rate of these services, this represents thousands of dollars in savings.
BCII and Evan Malmuth are not interested in making exploitative reality television. We are committed to helping you and your family and improving lives through the media.
If you are interested in participating in the show and using the services of Evan Malmuth and UIS, please contact us right away. Every day counts.
Email: tvhelp@bciitv.com
Phone: 818-333-3685
With best regards,
Bud Brutsman Evan James Malmuth
CEO CEO
Brentwood Communications Intl., Inc. Universal Intervention Services
Brentwood Communications International, Inc.
3500 N. San Fernando Blvd., Burbank, CA 91505
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As a mom of an ADHD son, I remember the adolescent years – they were not always the easiest. ADDitude Magazine has some great parenting tips, ideas and answers to help parents today. Years ago I don’t recall as much information was available to us. That’s because 40 percent of children with ADHD also develop oppositional defiant disorder, a condition marked by chronic aggression, frequent outbursts, and a tendency to argue, ignore requests, and engage in intentionally annoying behavior.
How bad can it get? Consider these real-life children diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD:
- A 4-year-old who gleefully annoys her parents by blasting the TV at top volume as soon she wakes up.
- A 7-year-old who shouts “No” to every request and who showers his parents with verbal abuse.
- An 11-year-old who punches a hole in the wall and then physically assaults his mother.
“I call them tiny terrors,” says Douglas Riley, Ph.D., author of The Defiant Child and a child psychologist in Newport News, Virginia. “These children are most comfortable when they’re in the middle of a conflict. As soon as you begin arguing with them, you’re on their turf. They keep throwing out the bait, and their parents keep taking it — until finally the parents end up with the kid in family therapy, wondering where they’ve gone wrong.”
The strain of dealing with an oppositional child affects the entire family. The toll on the marital relationship can be especially severe. In part, this is because friends and relatives tend to blame the behavior on ‘bad parenting.’ Inconsistent discipline may play a role in the development of ODD, but is rarely the sole cause. The unfortunate reality is that discipline strategies that work with normal children simply don’t work with ODD kids.
Fortunately, psychologists have developed effective behavior therapy for reining in even the most defiant child. It’s not always easy, but it can be done — typically with the help of specialized psychotherapy.
Looking for links
No one knows why so many kids with ADHD exhibit oppositional behavior. In many cases, however, oppositional behavior seems to be a manifestation of ADHD-related impulsivity.
“Many ADHD kids who are diagnosed with ODD are really showing oppositional characteristics by default,” says Houston-based child psychologist Carol Brady, Ph.D. “They misbehave not because they’re intentionally oppositional, but because they can’t control their impulses.”
Another view is that oppositional behavior is simply a way for kids to cope with the frustration and emotional pain associated with having ADHD.
“When under stress — whether it’s because they have ADHD or their parents are getting divorced — a certain percentage of kids externalize the anxiety and depression they’re feeling,” says Larry Silver, M.D., a psychiatrist at Georgetown University Medical School in Washington, D.C. “Everything becomes everyone else’s fault, and the child doesn’t take responsibility for anything that goes wrong.”
Riley agrees. “Children with ADHD know from a young age that they’re different from other kids,” he says. “They see themselves as getting in more trouble, and in some cases may have more difficulty mastering academic work — often despite an above-average intellect. So instead of feeling stupid, their defense is to feel cool. They hone their oppositional attitude.”
About half of all preschoolers diagnosed with ODD outgrow the problem by age 8. Older kids with ODD are less likely to outgrow it. And left untreated, oppositional behavior can evolve into conduct disorder, an even more serious behavioral problem marked by physical violence, stealing, running away from home, fire-setting, and other highly destructive and often illegal behaviors.
Getting treatment
Any child with ADHD who exhibits signs of oppositional behavior needs appropriate treatment. The first step is to make sure that the child’s ADHD is under control. “Since oppositional behavior is often related to stress,” says Silver, “you have to address the source of the stress — the ADHD symptoms — before turning to behavioral issues.”
Says Riley, “If a kid is so impulsive or distracted that he can’t focus on the therapies we use to treat oppositional behavior,” he says, “he isn’t going to get very far. And for many ADHD kids with oppositional behavior, the stimulant medications are a kind of miracle. A lot of the bad behavior simply drops off.”
But ADHD medication is seldom all that’s needed to control oppositional behavior. If a child exhibits only mild or infrequent oppositional behavior, do-it-yourself behavior-modification techniques (see Getting Your Child to Behave) may well do the trick. But if the oppositional behavior is severe enough to disrupt life at home or school, it’s best to consult a family therapist trained in childhood behavioral problems.
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ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, Conduct Disorder, Mood Disorder….. Learn more!
Source: ADDitude Magazine