Here are ten questions that are asked frequently by parents of kids, tweens and teens:

1)  At what age would you suggest parents start talking to kids about alcohol? Should parents bring it up independently, or wait for their children to ask before broaching the topic?

Like with any sensitive and serious subject, as soon as a parent believes their child is mature enough to understand the topic (alcohol) is when they should start discussions.  It can start by asking them their thoughts on alcohol, listen to them carefully and remember, never criticize.  Start the discussion at their level and start learning from each other.

Education is the key to prevention and can help your child to better understand the risk and dangers of alcohol from an early age.

Waiting for a crisis to happen, such as living with an alcoholic or having an issue with a family member that has a drinking problem is not the time to start talking to the child.  With this type of situation, the subject should be approached as early as the child can possibly understand alcohol and substance use.

2)  If you’ve had bad experiences with alcohol in the past (ie you or a friend/family member has battled alcoholism or similar issues), should you be open about them with your kid? If so, when is the right age for kids to hear this information? How open should you be?

This is a very tricky question.  On one hand we value honesty, however when a teenager likes to throw it back at you when they decide to experiment and it goes too far is when you realize you may want to pick and choose what stories from your past you want to share.

If you have a family member that has battled with addiction, alcoholism or similar issues, there is nothing like firsthand experiences (especially those people that are related to them) to help them understand how harmful this disease can be and in some cases, deadly.    I think it is very important that your teenager know these stories and how it relates to them – especially as they go into middle school and high school and start feeling the peer pressure from to others to experiment with different substances.

3)  Are there any websites or books that you’d recommend having parents read or showing kids (at any age)? Are certain types of information better for each age group (ie maybe children respond better to broad themes and videos, tweens respond well to anecdotes and stories, and teens respond better to hard facts about drinking and health)?

Ask Listen Learn: Is a fantastic interactive and educational website created by The Century Council For Underage Drinking.  This site if full of facts, resources, videos downloads, games as well as more links that offer extended information.  This site is targeted for all ages from younger kids to teens.

The Cool Spot: This is another great website for tweens and teens.  This deals with information on alcohol and helping teens and young teens resist peer pressure.

Smashed:  Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas – This is an excellent book for both parents and teens of a true story.  It was a NYT’s best seller.  Eye-opening and utterly gripping, Koren Zailckas’s story is that of thousands of girls like her who are not alcoholics—yet—but who routinely use booze as a shortcut to courage and a stand-in for good judgment.  This book is more for teenagers and parents.

4)  Do you think that schools and/or the media do a good job of warning kids about the dangers of alcohol consumption, or do they receive mixed messages about drinking? How might you incorporate your thoughts about this into a conversation with your child?

Schools and teachers do what they are paid to do, and in most cases, especially with dedicated teachers and employees, will go above their duty and do more.  However it is the parent’s responsibility to continue to talk to their child about the risks and dangers of alcohol, as well as the peer pressure they may face in school and in their community.

Though many parents are busy today, some working two jobs, many are single parents – there are few excuses not to take the time to talk to your kids about these subjects.  Whether it is Internet safety, substance abuse, safe sex, or simply homework – parenting is your priority.  I am not saying this is easy, I know for a fact, it isn’t.  I was a single parent with two teenagers, it was very hard.  I think today is even more challenging since there is more obstacles to contend with than there was even a decade ago.

The good news is the most recent study by The Century Council says that 83% of youth cite parents as the leading influence in their decisions not to drink alcohol.  Another words – our kids are listening and parents are doing their job parenting!

5)  How often should you talk to kids about alcohol, and does it vary by age? (i.e. less frequently for younger children, more frequently for tweens, and most frequently for teenagers?)

As frequently as you have an opportunity.  If there is a reason for it – if there is a conversation about it, expand on it – don’t run from it.  This is for both tweens and teens.  As far as little children are concerned, again it depends on their maturity and what your family dynamics consist of.

 6)  If you drink yourself, is it ever a good idea to allow kids to drink with you (i.e. a glass of wine at dinner) to de-stigmatize alcohol and help them be responsible? Or is it instead better to forbid them from consuming alcohol altogether until they are 21?

Alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers.  However there are some that believe that a sip of alcohol isn’t be a big deal.  I believe this is a personal decision, but if you have alcoholism that runs in your family, it is something that I would caution you on.

The other side to this is some people believe it would eliminate them from trying it at a friend’s house where they could get into trouble such as drinking and driving.  I think this goes back to being a personal choice on for your family.  It goes back to talking to your teen – communication.  Keep the lines open!

7)  If you suspect your child’s friends are drinking or pressuring him/her to drink, should you stop allowing your child to hang out with them?

Communication.  Talk to your child about these friends.  Find out what is going on and help your child see that maybe the choices he/she is making are not in their best interest.  It is better if your teen comes to the conclusion not to hang out with these friends rather than their parent telling them not to.

8)  Should the discussion be different for a daughter versus a son? How might you talk to the different sexes differently about alcohol (i.e. maybe you’d warn girls more about not having people slip something in their drinks at parties, while you’d warn boys more about alcohol and hazing/pranks.)

I don’t want parents to get confused on gender and alcoholism.  It doesn’t discriminate.  A girl or a boy can be slipped a drug in their drink at a party – just like a girl or boy can be coerced into participating into a mean prank of hazing. 

 With this, whether you have a son or daughter, you need to speak with them about the risks of leaving any drink alone and coming back for it.  Keep in mind, you don’t have to have an alcoholic beverage to put a powdery substance into it (another words even a soda can be spiked).

The important issue is they understand that these things can happen and they can happen to them.

9)  What should you do if you suspect your teenager is drinking against your advice?

Communication.  I know it is easier said than done (and I sound like a broken record), however it is the best tool we have and the most effective.  As hard as it can be, talking with a teenager is difficult, but we have to continue to break down those walls until they talk to us and tell us why they are turning to alcohol.

If you aren’t able to get through, please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you can’t, you are not alone.  Again, teen years are the most trying times.  Reach out to an adolescent therapist or counselor.  Hopefully your teen will agree to go. If not, may you have a family member or good friend your teen will confide in.  It so important to get your teen to talk about why he/she is drinking.  Don’t give up – whether it is a guidance counselor, sports coach, someone he/she is willing to open up to.

Parents can’t allow this to escalate and only believe it is a phase.  Maybe it is – but maybe it isn’t.  Be proactive.  Don’t wait for it to reach the addiction level. Don’t be a parent in denial.  There is help and you don’t have to be ashamed to ask for it.

There are many typical teens that end up being addicts – don’t let your teenager be one of them.

 10)  Could you offer one specific tip for each age group (elementary school, tween/middle school, and high school) that I may have missed or that people might not think of?

For all ages, parents need to realize how important it is to be a role model.  As I mentioned earlier, 83% of children are listening and are influenced by their parents.  That is a large number.  So continue keeping those lines of communication open – starting early and going into their college years!

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NO KIDDING, KIDS ARE ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THEIR PARENTS WHEN IT COMES TO TALKING ABOUT UNDERAGE DRINKING

In recognition of Alcohol Awareness Month, The Century Council, the leading national not-for-profit funded by distillers dedicated to fighting drunk driving and underage drinking, released new survey results today which reveal that parents continue to be the leading influence on their kid’s decisions to not drink alcohol.  Additionally, the survey demonstrates when it comes to talking about underage drinking, kids are actually listening to their parents when they discuss this serious, important, and sometimes awkward topic.

According to the research, parental influence with regard to underage drinking has increased significantly over the past 10 years.  Today, 83% of youth ages 10-18 years old, cite parents as the leading influence in their decision to not drink at all, or not to drink on occasion, which is up 28% proportionally from 2003. Parents rank significantly higher than friends/peers and teachers which tied for second as the leading influence on their decisions about drinking at 33%.  Rounding out the top six influencers are; punishment (28%), brothers and sisters (24%) and law enforcement (23%).

“Contrary to popular belief the survey shows that parents do have a strong influence over their kids when it comes to underage drinking,” said Ralph Blackman, President and CEO of The Century Council.  “Over the last 20 years, The Century Council has produced and provided educational tools and resources to parents, teachers, kids, coaches and other influencers to help make the conversation about underage drinking between parents and kids easier and more effective.  Our Ask, Listen, Learn program is the most widely distributed underage drinking youth educational program of its kind in the country.  While we cannot take sole credit for the improvement in conversations between caregivers and kids over the past nine years, we are thrilled to see the message to say no to underage drinking is resonating with kids.”

Risk of Underage Drinking is Resonating with Kids

Today’s survey indicates significant improvement in the effectiveness of conversations between caregivers and kids on the topic of underage drinking since first examined in 2003. A decade ago, research showed a disconnect between kids and parents on the topic of underage drinking.  In 2003, only 26% of youth reported their parents or grandparents had spoken to them four or more times in the past year about the dangers of drinking alcohol, while 49% of parents reported to have spoken with their children.

According to the new research, parents are talking to their kids about underage drinking and they are listening.  Nearly half of parents surveyed (46%), reported talking with their 10-18 year-old son or daughter four or more times in the past year about the dangers of underage drinking, and a nearly equal number (42%) of youth ages 10-18 reported speaking as frequently with their parents, grandparents, or another adult caregiver on the issue.

Underage drinking often becomes a discussion topic when there is an incident that triggers the conversation.  According to the latest study, the top three conversation starters for parents and youth today are:  (1) a tragedy reported in the news (54% parents, 47% kids; (2) something seen on TV or a movie (49% parents, 41% kids) or; (3) someone else getting caught with alcohol or drinking (37% parents, 36% kids).

“Concrete real world examples of problem drinking behavior are excellent places for parents to start a conversation with their kid about drinking. But with or without the perfect lead in, honest discussion of the negative consequences of underage drinking and the benefits of a healthy life style need to happen often and early,” said Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D. clinical psychologist and bestselling author of “I’d Listen to My Parents if They’d Just Shut Up” and “Get Out of My Life, but First Could you Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?”

Additional conversation starters to help parents approach the topic of underage drinking as reported by parents include: curiosity about alcohol (35%); learning to drive/driving the car (34%) and; going to a party or other social outing (33%).  Additional topics youth identify as a trigger to get them and their parents talking about underage drinking are: curiosity about alcohol (31%); going to a party or other social activity (30%); information from school (27%); and curiosity about whether you have friends who are drinking (28%).

Visit www.centurycouncil.org and www.asklistenlearn.com to learn about other activities through the month of April and beyond as we place focus on National Alcohol Awareness Month and continue the work to keep our nation’s youth safe and alcohol free.

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The Century Council

The Century Council, is a national not-for-profit leader in the fight to eliminate drunk driving and underage drinking and is funded by the following distillers: Bacardi U.S.A., Inc.; Beam, Inc.; Brown-Forman; Constellation Brands, Inc.; DIAGEO; Hood River Distillers, Inc.; and Pernod Ricard USA. Headquartered in Arlington, Virginia, The Century Council promotes responsible decision making regarding beverage alcohol and develops and implements innovative programs and public awareness campaigns which ignite action through strategic partnerships. Established in 1991, The Century Council’s initiatives are highlighted on its website at www.centurycouncil.org and www.asklistenlearn.org.

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About the research

The Century Council contracted Toluna to conduct an online survey of 10-18 year olds and parents of 10-18 year olds living in the same household.  Using one of Toluna’s demographically diverse panels, the survey matched parents of 10-18 year olds and their age appropriate son or daughter at the same time.  A nationally representative sample of 509 parents and 10-18 years was completed February 15-16, 2012.  Toluna is the world’s leading independent online panel and survey technology provider to the global market research industry.  The margin of error among the national sample is + 4.3%.

TRU conducted the May 2003 research among 10-18 year olds and Wirthlin Worldwide (now Harris Interactive) conducted the parent research utilizing their April and May 2003 National Quorum surveys.

Join Ask Listen Learn on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Order today!

As I speak to parents on a weekly basis, I often hear how maybe if their teen spent some time behind bars they would appreciate what they have, or if they struggled through a rough primitive program, Wilderness program, militant style, boot camp or that type of model, they could scare their teen straight…. I explain to them if they thought about another approach – finding a a program that can actually determine where this negative behavior is stemming from?  From there work through it and start building to make it into a positive road to a bright future.

This recently released book almost seems to mirror what I have been thinking, though unfortunately, on a more extreme scale, these kids are incarcerated at a young age without a family that seems to truly care or without the means to get them outside help.

New Book Born, Not Raised: Voices From Juvenile Hall, Indicts Juvenile Justice System, Poor Parenting and Education Failures

San Diego Author Susan Madden Lankford, who explored homelessness and female incarceration in her two previous award-winning books, examines the plight of youngsters serving time in juvenile hall in her latest book BORN, NOT RAISED: Voices From Juvenile Hall  (Humane Exposures Publishing).

For two years, Susan Lankford and her daughter Polly Smith interviewed more than 120 incarcerated teenagers, eight of them weekly. In this book she features their voices, views, writing and drawings—along with interviews with pediatric psychiatrists, neurobiologists, judges, probation officers and other professionals.  In researching her previous book on women in jail, Lankford learned that a majority of them had at least two children in foster care, living with relatives or in detention. Because of the lack of basic parenting skills needed to produce productive individuals, many of their kids end up in jail, too.

“In studying these teens for BORN, NOT RAISED, I learned the major factors that added to or reduced the likelihood of their incarceration and recidivism,” Lankford explains. “One of the main things which I stress in the book is that there is a critical need for a family with a good-enough, consistent, loving and nurturing figure who helps children through the developmental stages to produce a curious, empathic and responsible youth, capable of resilience, adjustment, impulse control and good social skills.

“In this book I indict today’s educational system for its failure to respond to the needs of the global market and technology, as well as to the critical needs of students. I detail terrific programs which have discovered how to motivate kids who can’t meet classroom demands.

 “A third major point is that we need to start teaching parenting early. Fourteen-year-olds in juvenile detention often have kids but have no idea how to parent properly.  We also need to teach the reasons and means to avoid drugs, gangs and violence.”

Lankford believes that BORN, NOT RAISED contains information useful for university curricula, social work, psychology, criminal justice/corrections, medical school, law school, parents and parents-to-be.

“In researching this book, Polly and I became convinced that early education and youth development are the most effective strategies for breaking the cycle of at-risk behavior and helping youth from difficult backgrounds to learn the skills that will enable them to thrive,” Lankford concludes.

Order today on Amazon.

Watch a preview on YouTube.

Who rules your house?

Today’s teens seem to have a trend many parents can relate to… entitlement issues!  No matter what economic background a teenager comes from, the attitude of some teens can be extremely rude and downright belligerent – not only to their parents but to others in authority.

I was asked to share the following information regarding a national television show that is looking for families to share their story.

Please contact their producer if you feel would like to be considered to be part of their segment:

Hello, I am the News Producer at national talk show looking to help a family going through the increasingly-common experience of having an older teen boy or young adult male still living at “home.”  Our program addresses current cultural issues in an effort to shed light on family dynamics.  Our audience as well as the guests benefit from the experience.  If you have a son aged 17-25 whose behavior runs the gamut from annoying to troubling…and you’d like to issue a gentle “wake-up” call from a professional, please reach out to me as soon as possible!

We tape this Monday, March 20 in Los Angeles.  (We arrange and furnish travel and accommodations, of course.)  emily.barsh@cbs.com   

Pre-order today!

Hmmm, well, this is a bold and common statement I hear quite frequently so when a new friend/colleague mentioned she has a book coming out this spring with this title, I was intrigued.  After all, as a parent that struggled with a teen that was less than perfect, and liked to convince me that “I” was the problem, this book just may go flying off the shelves.

“My Teenager Is The Problem” is written by Ronae Jull, the Hope Coach.

A bit about this new book…..

Do you struggle with that one family member who constantly challenges your serenity, twists your stomach into knots and keeps you up at night, questioning your sanity? If that family member is your teenager, you’re not alone.

Teenagers can cause feelings of anger, incompetence, and helplessness in even the most confident parents. Regardless of how successful your professional life, your home keeping skills, or your other relationships,parenting a teen can challenge your resolve to remain calm and mindful when dealing with him or her.

Maybe you’ve come to feel that you shouldn’t have become a parent, you can’t do anything right, and that your teen may not make it to his or her adult years in one piece.

You don’t have to feel this way.

Order My Teenager IS the Problem! today and recapture peace and sanity for you and your family. The book — authored by The HOPE Coach, Ronae Jull — provides specific step-by-step strategies, guaranteed to save your teen and renew your peace-of-mind.

Read just a few of the proven solutions offered in this amazing book below:

Creating and enforcing boundaries

• Dealing with bad attitudes
• Substance abuse
• Dealing with and stopping rage
• Helping your depressed teen
• Coping with bullying behavior
• Helping your mentally ill teen
• …and much more…

For more information on Ronae Jull and her services, visit her website at www.RonaeJull.com.  You can follow Ronae Jull on Twitter and join her on Facebook!

As a Parent Advocate and Author of a parenting book on residential therapy, Parent Coaching can be an avenue a family can use prior taking the step into residential therapy.

Did you know that 9 out of 10 smokers started in their teens?  Most of them believing they would never become addicted.

In Florida, Big Tobacco spends more than $700 million in marketing.  Why so much? They see it as an investment to help replace the people  that die from smoking… 1,200 people a day.

STUDENTS WORKING AGAINST TOBACCO (SWAT)

SWAT is Florida’s statewide youth organization working to mobilize, educate and equip Florida youth to revolt against and de-glamorize Big Tobacco. They are a united movement of empowered youth working towards a tobacco free future. There’s a group of people on one side selling a product (cigarettes, cigars, hookah, chewing tobacco and more) that some teens are using. Those products are highly addictive and many teens that begin using them are never able to quit. On the other side, groups like SWAT and Tobacco Free Florida, are working to make sure as many teens as possible never start using tobacco. Join the movement!

Learn more about Tobacco Free Florida Week 2012 coming soon. Visit http://www.tobaccofreeflorida.com/ and join them on Facebook.

Don't be a parent in denial. You are not helping your teen.

Whitney Houston. Michael Jackson. Amy Winehouse.

Addiction is treatable.  Death is not.

These celebrities are certainly not your teens and probably not what your teens are even worrying about becoming.  Chances are – parents don’t believe their kids will even become addicts. That is the problem.  Parent denial can actually cause more harm to your child than you realize.  We all know the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  It is the same with parents.  Until you recognize your teenager is spiraling out of control, and this behavior has escalated beyond your typical teen – you are only loving your child to death.

How many parents will share with me their teen is only smoking pot.  Seriously?  The marijuana today is not what it was in the 60′s.  Today marijuana is being laced with higher levels of PCP, and other ingredients that can lead to addiction.

Cough medicine.  How many teens are using your medicine cabinet at home to get high?

Prescription medicine.  How many teens are taking you or their grandparents RX’s?

These are not bad kids. These kids don’t come from the other side of town, they can be in your neighborhood.  At your private school. In your Sunday church service.  Good kids making bad choices is part of every culture.  I hear from parents that have solid marriages of over 20 years, faithfully attend church, family meals and vacations and have a teen that has wandered off track.  This can happen to anyone.  Why?  That is a million dollar question -and the the why isn’t as important as it is to get them help before it is too late.

Getting them help will help you find out the why.  When did this behavior start going wrong.  Why? How?  What?  After exhausting all local resources including adolescence therapy, you may need to take the major step into residential therapy.

Who do you trust online? Internet fact vs Internet fiction.

Now you get on the computer and start search for residential therapy – teen help programs – boarding schools – and you are not sure what you need.

The Internet is daunting, as most 2012 parents realize when they start typing in all sort of key words – and before you know it – you are bombarded with all sorts of programs and schools and “sales reps” that seem to have answers – or so you think.

This is when you need to step back and understand that YES, you do need help, you do need an intervention and you do need to remove your teen from their environment enable to get them the help they need.  Let’s face it, therapy isn’t working anymore – if you can even get them to attend.

My mantra has been – learn from my mistakes when I wen through this.  Read – www.aparentstruestory.com – and you will see you need to take your time.  It is not to scare you – it is to educate you.

Here are a few tips to remember:

• Look for programs that are not attached to “sales reps”.  You want to speak directly to an owner or director.  Someone that has a vested interest in your teen.  Someone that their reputation will be reflected on your child’s success (or lack of).  Someone who you can hold accountable through the duration of your teen’s stay.
• Look for the ACE factor.  A=Academics – Always ask for a copy of their accreditation for education – be sure it is transferable back to where you live.  C=Clinical – Be sure the clinical staff is credentialed. E=Enrichment programs – These are critical to be sure your teen is stimulated in a positive direction to want to make better choices.  This isn’t about breaking your child down, it is about building them up.
• Ask for parent references of parents with the same gender and age of your own teenager.  Also take it a step further.  Ask for families that are in your same geographical area.  This way maybe you will be able to meet with them and possibly even the graduate of the program you are considering.
• Keep in mind – Short term programs – short term results.  Don’t get sucked into them.

I have many more tips and offer free parent consultation at www.HelpYourTeens.com.

Don’t reach your wit’s end and make a rash decision – made an education choice…. Be an educated parent – this a major emotional and financial decision.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

Parent-Tested, Parent-Approved

I am asked almost weekly by parents about how they can drug test their teens.  I am not a doctor and I can’t endorse any product that I haven’t personally used.  I know many parents have used over the counter products from both Walgreens and CVS as well as have had their family doctors perform blood tests, if they have a cooperative teens (wink wink).

I was asked to share a recent press release with parents.  Although I haven’t used this product, some of you may find it useful and may want to look further into it.  I know these products are in high demand, and  I also know a parent in denial is only going to harm your teen in the long run.  If you suspect your child is using drugs, it is better to find out now, while you can get help.  Don’t wait for addiction to knock on your door.  Yes, addiction is treatable – death isn’t.

Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kit — #1 recommended by addiction specialists — now selling at CVS.com

Teensavers Diagnostics Inc. is proud to announce that CVS Pharmacy and CVS.com has added the entire family of Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kits.

“CVS.com and the CVS/Caremark family are absolute leaders in the home health care industry.    Families rely on the CVS family for every day products and life saving prescriptions.    We value the support that CVS.com has shown the Teensavers® family, including our family branded drug tests in their diagnostics category.   We share the importance and enthusiasm for families looking to lead a healthy life,” said Teensavers Diagnostics Inc. President Steve Stahovich.

Teensavers Diagnostics Inc. created the Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kits with the family in mind.   Government statistics show that 4,000 teens try drugs for the first time every day.   2,500 of those kids are experimenting with pills.    Many parents are seeing the explosion of teen prescription drug use in our community.    But they don’t know what to do about it.    The Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kits can help detect possible opiate use.    It can help deter kids from taking pills, prescribed for a legitimate patient, from the medicine cabinet to use recreationally.

“We are proud that parents can find our total family solution, from the same chain where they are getting their prescriptions.    Just as any health ailment requires immediate attention, potential teen substance abuse requires the same immediate attention and care.   Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kits provide more than a positive or negative result.   Our complete kit helps parents understand through the entire process, whether it’s diagnosing the drug use, or finding the best solution for your family,” said Stahovich.

There are five different Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kits available on CVS.com ranging from a 1-panel (THC only) test to a comprehensive 12-panel test.     The prices range from $16.99 to $39.99.

2011 Winner Parent Tested and Parent Approved

Stahovich says choosing the right test is based on alert and informed parenting.    Stahovich says, “Choosing the right drug test kit not only depends on your family and the child’s exposure to drugs, but the drug culture of the community.    It is critical for parents to be proactive by talking with other parents in the neighborhood, finding out about drug issues in the schools, and within the community.   Some communities have marijuana and cocaine problems.    We are seeing an explosion of prescription drug abuse across most of the country.   Parents may want complete tests for popular pills.     Proper home drug testing involves pro-active parenting”

The Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kit is 99.9% accurate, made in America, and approved for over-the-counter sales by the FDA. The test is endorsed by America’s Parenting Coach, Tim Chapman, a 30-year treatment veteran.   The Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kit was recently named a 2011 “Top Products” Winner by Parent Tested, Parent Approved, one of the most reliable and valuable online resources for parents.

===Product Specs===

– 1-panel ($16.99) Marijuana (THC) test.
– 3-panel ($21.99), screens for Marijuana, Cocaine, and Methamphetamine.
– 5-panel ($25.99) screens for the previous three drugs, plus Oxycodone and Opiates.
– 7-panel ($29.99) screens for the previous 5 drugs plus Benzodiazepines and Ecstasy (MDMA.)
– 12-panel test ($39.99) is the most comprehensive Teensavers® Home Drug Test Kit. It screens for Marijuana, Cocaine, PCP, Opiates, Amphetamines, Methamphetamine, Barbiturates, Benzodiazepines, Oxycodone, Methadone, Ecstasy (MDMA), and Tricyclic Antidepressants.

# # #Founded by President Steve Stahovich, a long time recovery and addiction specialist, Teensavers Diagnostics Inc. (http://myteensavers.com) is an ally to parents who suspect their teen may be using narcotics. We are the latest generation in home drug testing kits, offering a total solution, and not just results. We are endorsed by America’s Parenting Coach, Tim Chapman, founder of Chapman House.

Who do you trust behind the screen?

Troubled teens, teen help, struggling teens, at-risk teens, problem teens, difficult teens, boot camps, military schools, behavior modification, specialty schools, specialty programs, teen help programs, boarding schools, residential treatment centers, residential therapy, emotional growth programs, therapeutic boarding schools, wilderness programs, defiant teens, manipulative teens, disengaged from the family, family conflict, hopelessness, WIT’S END….

You have about reached your wit’s end when you are searching the web and typing in about every keyword you believe describes what you think you are looking for.  Glorified websites appear – maybe some not so beautiful, maybe you want a Christian setting, maybe you think a good boot camp or have that traditional thinking of an old fashioned military school…. however you will soon realize this isn’t 50 years ago.  There are legitimate residential therapeutic schools today and it is a parent job to do their research to be sure they find a safe and quality program that fits their individual needs.

After hours – days – even weeks (I have actually spoken to parents that have spent months) on the Internet, sometimes the confusion can deepen, which is why I did create Parents’ Universal Resource Experts.

With this – I am only sharing my own experiences…. and it has to do with the affiliated programs with the title of this Blog….

Are you confused yet? Looking for teen help and realizing this is a BIG BUSINESS?

So, your teen is driving your crazy.  You are at your wit’s end. You have finally decided you need outside help. You have exhausted all your local resources.  Local therapy doesn’t help, heck, you can’t even get your teen to attend.  Your teen is failing in school, he/she is very smart yet doesn’t want to attend school and believe they know it all.  Many say, “typical teen“, but as a parent, we know it is more than that.

Where did our good kid go?  Good kids making bad choices – and they don’t need to be placed in an environment that will make them worse in my opinion – learn from what happened to me!

As a victim of the WWASPS organization – I am often called or receive many emails about our (my daughter and I) experiences with them.  Obviously not pleasant.  Though I am happy to say the program she was at, Carolina Springs Academy, which attempted to go through a name change to Magnolia Christian Academy (or School) depending on the day you Googled it, is finally closed – it has been rumored some of the staff is now at their affiliate program – Red River Academy.

Let me be clear for legal purposes – these are rumors – but if I were placing my child in program, I personally wouldn’t take any chances – and furthermore, Red River Academy is clearly named in the current lawsuit which is extremely disturbing with allegations of fraud, abuse, neglect and much more – (click here) that is current.

Then we come to Horizon Academy.  Another alleged WWASPS facility.  Why say alleged?  Maybe they will deny they are affiliated – yet look at their staff, again, you will see they were once employed at other WWASPS programs.  Jade Robinson was at the program in Mexico (named in that lawsuit with alleged abuse and neglect) Casa By the Sea, then went on to Bell Academy, which didn’t last long, and I assume is trying to continue at Horizon Academy.

So when the “sales rep” tells you that “Sue Scheff” is a disgruntled parent – I say – YES, I was – you put my daughter in a box for 17 hours, she was mentally and emotionally abused – food and sleep deprived – I was complete defrauded – and she also missed out on 6 months of education.  None of which I had signed up for.  Grant it, this was 10 years ago – a lot has changed – but those original owners haven’t – so in my humble opinion – I wouldn’t trust any of their programs with my pets….. BTW: I am the only parent to have defeated WWASPS in a jury trial.  

Most of the other (many) lawsuits have settled out of court with silence agreements.  I don’t have one, which is why I can still share my story – which is why I get slimed online – which is why their sales reps have all sorts of stories about me – including “the jury made a mistake” – neglecting to tell you I won the appellate court too.  No one condones child abuse – period.

I have been called a crusader (and not in a flattering way) though I take it that way.  I have made it my mission to find the better programs and schools, since I do know what it is like to be at your wit’s end.  I know what parents need help. I am not against residential therapy, which brings us to many  of my stalkers that were formally abused in programs that believe all programs should be closed down.  That is being extreme – they are not a parent trying to save their child’s life and future.

I will share with you that there are more safe and quality programs than there are bad ones – it is just about doing your homework and research.  Today you are more fortunate than I was – you have more access to information and you can learn from my mistakes and  my knowledge.

Please – take 10 minutes to read my story and see the list of programs that are and were once affiliated with Carolina Springs Academy – and from there, you make your own choices for your child.

I had one parent that almost went to Red River Academy that actually said the sales rep said they could have their teen “extracted” within a few hours?  Extracted?  Really – is your child a tooth?  Please don’t get rushed into a quick decision – this is a major emotional and financial decision.

My organization is Parents’ Universal Resource Experts – and no matter what those “sales reps” or the Internet fiction – I don’t own, operate or manage any schools or programs!  We are about educating parents when they are looking for help for their at risk teen…. Don’t get scammed when you are at your wit’s end.

Oh – and when these “sales reps” send out these defamatory links about me – another FACT they neglect to tell you is I won the landmark case for Internet Defamation that awarded me $11.3M in damages for what was said about me online!  Lies and twisted facts!  Here is my recent appearance on Anderson Cooper.

This is strictly my opinion on my own experiences – you are free to make your choices…

When is enough - enough?

Second semester.  Some teens have had enough. They don’t want to go to school anymore.  They believe they know it all.  It is easier to get a GED, after all, some of their so-called friend are doing it!

Your once happy, bouncing toddler that strolled into kindergarten, brought that artwork home for your refrigerator, and may have end participated in the school plays has now decided that hanging out with a new group of peers that are less than what you would have selected for them, is their thing….

As much as you are trying to ignore or just say it is a phase, you notice your teen is withdrawing from the family, failing in school, smell alcohol, maybe even marijuana, cigarettes, and overall have become a child you no longer recognize with a personality that is defiant and totally disrespectful the the family boundaries – what do you do?

Most parents try local therapy – which is a great first step, but when happens when therapy doesn’t work?  You can’t be afraid to take that next step!  A parent in a denial only harms your teenager.  Don’t be held hostage in your home by your teen’s behavior.

Sending a child to a residential program/school is a major decision. It is not one to be taken lightly or to be decided on overnight.

Usually a teen’s behavior has been slowly escalating and a parent knows that deep down things are not getting better.  As much as you hope and pray that things will change, this is only typical teen behavior, sometimes it just isn’t.

With drug use and substance abuse rising – more dangerous and deadly ingredients being used, such as spice and inhalants, parents have reason to be concerned.  It isn’t your marijuana of generations prior – it is so much worse and in many cases – addictive and deadly.

If you have reached your wit’s end and now surfing the Internet for help, remember, anyone can build a website.  Anyone can put up nice pictures and create great content.  You need to do your due diligence.

Years ago I struggled with my own teenager.  I was at my wit’s end.  I didn’t realize what a big business this “teen help industry” was.  Yes, my child needed help, but what we received was anything but that.  My story is a cautionary tale – not one to scare you into not using a program, however on the contrary, you have to get your child help, but you have to do your research in getting them the right help.

You can do it without spending thousands!

Here are some quick tips:

• Your child is not for sale, try to avoid those marketing arms selling you a list of programs that are not in the best interest of your child’s individual needs.
• Always speak with an owner or director – Someone that has a vested in your teen’s recovery.  Their reputation is on the line.
• Wilderness and other short term programs are usually nothing more than a band-aid that will fall off as quickly as the program lasted.  They are expensive camping trips and in most cases the Wilderness program will tell you at about 4 weeks that your teen will need to continue on to a longer term program.  What? Yes, now you go back to the research board and worse than that, your teen will be deflated when he finds out he/she isn’t coming home in 6-9 weeks as they were lead to believe – and they will be starting all over again with a new therapist – new schedule – and new setting.  Don’t get caught up in this “shuffle.”  Start and finish with the same school/program.
• The average stay should be about 6-9-12 months, depending on your teen.  Anything less is probably non-effective.  Anything more, you may be creating abandonment issues in my opinion.
• Do you really need an Educational Consultant?  Absolutely not.  You are the parent and no one knows your teen better than you do – with a few tips, you will be able to make some sound choices.

For more helpful hint and tips, please contact www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation. After the ordeal I went through, I created this advocacy organization to help educate parents on finding safe and quality programs.

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