Teens Hanging with Less Than Desireable Peers – Teen Gangs
by Sue Scheff on Aug 23, 2010
Teen Gang and Gang Violence has taken on a new light in today’s age.
Gangs prey on the weak child that yearns to fit in with a false illusion they are accepted into the “cool crowd”. With most Gangs as with Teen Cults, they can convince your child that joining “their Gang or Cult” will make them a “well-liked and popular” teen as well as one that others may fear. This gives the teen a false sense of superiority. Remember, many of today’s teens that are acting out negatively are suffering with extremely low self confidence. This feeling of power that they believe a gang or cult has can boost their esteem; however they are blinded to the fact that is dangerous. This is how desperate some teens are to fit in.
In reality, it is a downward spiral that can result in damage both emotionally and psychically. We have found Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are sometimes hard to detect. They disguise themselves to impress the most intelligent of parents. We have witnessed Gang members who will present themselves as the “good kid from the good family” and you would not suspect their true colors.
If you suspect your child is involved in any Gang Activities or any Cults, please seek local therapy and encourage your child to communicate. This is when the lines of communication need to be wide open. Sometimes this is so hard, and that is when an objective person is always beneficial. Teen Gangs and Teen Cults are to be taken very seriously. A child that is involved in a gang can affect the entire family and their safety. Take this very seriously if you suspect your child is participating in gang activity or cult association.
If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Military School, Residential or Program Options, please complete our Information Request Form.
Learn more at www.helpyourteens.com.
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Sue Scheff, Teen Gangs, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Violence
I was a bully, but I stopped….. Two Books Published by Middle Schoolers
by Sue Scheff on Aug 14, 2010
Broward County is no stranger to bullying. Last school year Deerfield Beach Middle School held the spotlight in the most negative of circumstances. Starting with Michael Brewer who was nearly burned to death, and several months later the brutal and savage beating of Josie Ratley.
As a community, a group of Broward County middle school students joined together with the help of State Farm, The Broward Sheriff’s Office and The Humanity Project to publish two books targeted at combating bullying.
The Miami Herald reported one of the bullying books is about a privileged and selfish character Lucina who has everything she wants but degrades everyone who doesn’t share her fortune. The other book is about Michael, who is dyslexic and of black and Asian heritage. He’s influenced by his abusive father to bully others.
Students also worked on illustrations and cover art. The books will be used as part of The Humanity Project’s innovative Anti-bullying Through the Arts program in Broward during the school year.
Congratulations to all these students and a special thanks to State Farm, Broward County Sheriff’s Office and The Humanity Project for stepping up and reaching out to our kids – our future!
Learn more at the www.TheHumanityProject.com.
Sources: Miami Herald, The Humanity Project
Tags: At Risk Teens, Bullying, Children's Books, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Teen Issues, The Humanity Project
Sue Scheff: It’s Time to ACT! Drug Free America
by Sue Scheff on Aug 07, 2010
According to a survey of 6,500 teens by the Partnership for a Drug Free America, 73 percent said the number one reason they turn to drugs and alcohol is to relieve stress at school. As the new school year begins, how can you help your teen adjust especially if they are starting a new school.
TIME TO ACT! is a first-of-its kind online help resource for parents and caregivers who suspect or know their child is experimenting, using or has a problem with alcohol or drugs.
Discovering that a teen is using drugs or alcohol can be a scary experience for parents — many feel alone, ashamed, and confused about what to do next. The Partnership believes that no parent should go through this alone, without guidance from experts and other parents.
Time To Act! was created to ensure that every parent has free access, on their own terms, to the most current research-based information on how to help their child — and their family — take the next steps. It is the only site of its kind designed to address parents in an active state of concern about how to help their child, whether they’ve used once or have a known drug or alcohol problem.
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Communication is key to drug prevention, talk to your kids, they will listen!
Source: Drug Free America, Time to Act
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Substance Abuse, Sue Scheff, Teen Drug Use, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues
Parenting Teens: Learn About UPROAR – Dangers of Huffing AC Refrigerant
by Sue Scheff on Aug 06, 2010
Inhalants. They have been in the news and on the teen scene for years now; as a matter of fact, it was reported that there has been a 158% increase in the use of huffing refrigerant in teenagers.
Most parents will continue to say, ‘not my teen‘, however how do you really know it isn’t your teen?
Just ask Mona Casey in Coral Springs, she lost her son 15 year-old Charles Gray just before his 16th birthday, when he inhaled refrigerant. Especially in Florida, air conditioning refrigerant is prevalent, it is also deadly. Watch video to see how dangerous it can be.
Throughout her grief, Mona Casey founded a group, United Parents to Restrict Open Access to Refrigerant, (UPROAR). Huffing chemicals such as refrigerant can result in death on the first use. This is a risk we cannot afford to take with our children. One of the goals of UPROAR is to propose solutions to lawmakers and governing bodies to address this problem.
What is inhalant use?
Inhalant use refers to the intentional breathing of gas or vapors with the purpose of reaching a high. Inhalants are legal, everyday products which have a useful purpose, but can be misused. You’re probably familiar with many of these substances — paint, glue and others. But you probably don’t know that there are more than 1,000 products that are very dangerous when inhaled — things like typewriter correction fluid, air-conditioning refrigerant, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane and even cooking spray. See Products Abused as Inhalants for more details.
It is time parents stop being ignorant to the fact teens and tweens don’t understand the dangers of huffing. Kids as young as 11 years-old are huffing and dying. Watch video below.
Talk to your kids today! School will be opening, peer pressure will be starting, school hallways are full of kids trying to fit in and be cool. Will they take it a step further fit in with a sniff?
Sources: Just News, UPROAR, Inhalants.org
Be an educated parent, you can save a life!
Tags: At Risk Teens, Huffing, Inhalants, parenting advice, Sniffing, Sue Scheff, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens, UPROAR
Sue Scheff: Parent Excuses for Teen Bad Behavior – Be Proactive, Not in Denial
by Sue Scheff on Jul 27, 2010
No one likes to admit they are struggling with their teenager. No one wants others to know what is really going on behind closed doors. No parent wants to end up in a juvenile court room, not to mention visiting their teen in jail. Face it, parenting isn’t easy but there are many things we cannot control as parents.
Most parents didn’t raise our kids to use drugs. Parents don’t tell their children to join the local gang (and I am not speaking of a sports club). Parents don’t tell their kids to treat them like dirt. Defiance and belligerence are not behaviors parents encourage.
So who is to blame? Where are today’s teens picking up this blatant disrespect for authority, dropping out school, using drugs and running away?
There can be many factors, however every family is unique with their issues. Whether it is a divorce, a death in the family, parents working several jobs and not having time for their kids, the causes could be almost anything.
At the end of the day, parents have to stop making excuses and get help! Their teens negative behavior is a cry for help. Whether you start with local therapy, which many will not attend and if they do, most won’t participate, or you need to take a major step of residential therapy, you need to stop making excuses and get your teen help.
This is not about you – and what your neighbors, friends or family will think – this is about saving your teen’s future, if not life.
Excuses that are commonly used:
- He/she is so smart, high IQ – it will get better. (Yes, they are smart, how else could they make these manipulative decisions?)
- It is the friends he/she is hanging with. Not my teen. (This is most common). So many parents make the mistake of blaming the kids their teen is hanging with, in reality, your teen is making that choice to hang with them.
- He/she used to love a certain activity, but recently dropped out – well, he was caught with pot, but it was his friends. He didn’t know it was there. (Really?)
- He/she only tried it once. (Seriously, who are you kidding?)
- He/she ran away for the weekend, but they did text me? (O-kay)
- You don’t understand – he/she can get a full scholarship but he/she doesn’t care anymore!
All of this doesn’t happen over night, although you would like to believe that. These are all red flags that you need to get your teen help.
In South Florida there are several places you can get help. Don’t be a parent in denial – be proactive, don’t allow your teen to fail because of your pride!
Visit Parents’ Universal Resource Experts for more information.
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Troubled Teens, Wits End
Sue Scheff: Girls Gone Wild! But What Happens When it is YOUR DAUGHTER?
by Sue Scheff on Jul 23, 2010
Our favorite Parenting Expert, Dr. Michele Borba wrote about this topic a few weeks ago (read here). Girls are changing! Cliques can be stressful and cause many emotional issues. Mean Girls can be mean! This week Connect with Kids is giving us more evidence we need to take notice to our daughters and what they are doing – who they are hanging out with and what activities they are involved in! School will be open soon – talk to your teens today.
Source: Connect with Kids
Girls’ Attitudes are Changing When it Comes to Drugs
“We used to believe that boys were more likely to use than girls and that there were more boys out there using than girls, and what this study has shown is that the numbers are the same now.”
– Heather Hayes, M.Ed., LPC, addiction counselor
New survey results from the Partnership for a Drug Free America report that girls appear more inclined than ever to reach for drugs and booze to help them emotionally. Some girls say drugs “help you forget your troubles.” Researchers advise parents to be especially attentive to their daughters’ moods and worries.
In fact, in some cases, there are more girls abusing drugs than boys. But the reason for their drug abuse may be very different, and that should make a big difference in how parents handle the problem.
Boys say they use drugs to get a thrill, like 18-year-old Joshua. “It was boring unless I was high. Cause I just didn’t feel right. I was just like – I felt normal, and normal wasn’t cool, it was just boring.”
But girls say they use drugs for very different reasons. Cheri, age 17, explains, “I think for females, it’s just kinda just to fit in…They have low self esteem, or their family life’s not doing good, or someone’s been raped…I think it runs a lot deeper than it does with males.”
According to the Department of Health and Human Services, what once was primarily a male problem has changed. And new research confirms that girls are more likely than ever to reach for drugs and alcohol. The reason, experts say, is that many girls use drugs to deal with stress and anxiety.
“We used to believe that boys were more likely to use than girls and that there were more boys out there using than girls, and what this study has shown is that the numbers are the same now,” explains addiction counselor Heather Hayes. “And with that kind of stress, a lot of what the research has shown is that chronic stress tends to break the dopamine receptors in the brain, setting the person up to be addicted. So, you’ve got the stress there and you pour the chemicals on top and it’s an absolute formula for an addict.”
Experts say if your daughter is stressed out, parents should try to keep the lines of communication open – and help her find productive ways to cope: keeping a journal, exercise, even therapy. And realize that there may be more going on than just a bad crowd.
“I think it’s real easy for parents to say, too, that it is merely because of who my daughters associate with that they’re involved with drugs or alcohol,” says Armando Corpus, Drug Treatment Program Director, “but really it’s a much more basic problem than that. It’s about who my daughter is, and what she’s dealing with.”
What Parents Need To Know
According to the 2009 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study from the Partnership for a Drug Free America, teen girls are more likely to associate “self-medicating” benefits with drinking and getting high. More than two-thirds of teen girls responded positively to the question “using drugs helps kids deal with problems at home” (an 11 percent increase, up from 61 percent in 2008 to 68 percent in 2009) and more than half reported that drugs help teens forget their troubles (a 10 percent increase, up from 48 percent in 2008 to 53 percent in 2009). Stress has been identified as a key factor leading to drinking, smoking and drug use among girls and more than three times as many young girls as boys reported having symptoms of depression in 2008.
What can parents do? Information from the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse and other experts suggest these strategies:
- Keep the lines of communication open. Young females who have a close bond with their parents are less likely to use illegal drugs. These girls also wait longer to start using alcohol.
- Back words with action. Besides lending support and laying out clear rules, parents need to be good role models-don’t abuse alcohol, smoke, or use illegal drugs.
- Parents should not feel comfortable with any drug experimentation by their child. Once you start to “normalize” drugs, you’ll never know exactly how much your child is using.
- Remember you’re a role model to your kids. From their infancy, they’re processing everything you do. They also observe how you cope with stress. If you’re showing your kids that it’s much easier to cope with life with a little alcohol, you’re sending them a message.
Resources
- Partnership for a Drug Free America Study Results
- Information for Families from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
- Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, Columbia University
Tags: At Risk Teens, Connect with Kids, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Girls, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Drinking, Teen Help
Sue Scheff: Wilderness Programs, Boot Camps or Jail – Are they an answer to Out-of-Conrol Teens? NO!
by Sue Scheff on Jul 21, 2010
You have a teen that is driving you crazy. You have a teen that is experimenting, if not using drugs on a regular basis. You have teen that has changed peer groups – and not for the better. You have a teen that has disengaged from the family. You have a teen that is defiant, belligerent and can become violent. You have a teen that doesn’t appreciate all they have and all you have sacrificed for them? You are at your wit’s end!
Is it time to have an intervention? What is best to insure that your teen gets back on a positive road to have that bright future you always wanted for them?
Let’s review some choices to get help:
Wilderness Therapeutic Programs: Short term program, short term results, usually zero academics, extremely expensive and as many teens state they have great experiences, it is usually never enough to make lasting positive changes.
- The concept: Remove the kids from their comforts of home. Get them to reflect on themselves from within.
- Thought: Wouldn’t it be wise to find one program that offers a well-rounded program including removing them from their comforts of home, offering them an education as well as encouraging them through enrichment programs?
Boot Camps: Thankfully many have been closed in the state of Florida. This in and of itself speaks volumes. As parents see it as a way to punish their kids for their negative behavior, using punitive and primitive measures may cause more anger and resentment toward the person that placed them there.
- The concept: Teach your child a lesson, and hope they learn to appreciate and respect you.
- Thought: Again, finding a sound program that offers positive enrichment, academics as well as trained personal to help determine where the negative behavior is stemming from.
Jail: Is this ever a good option? Not really, and although juvenile records are sealed, according to law enforcement, what happens when your teen applies for a job in their 20′s and that record, although it doesn’t state the charges, but is pinged by your teen being finger printed? Did you consider the friends your teen will make in jail?
- The Concept: Show your teen the consequences of breaking the law. Hopefully scaring them straight so they turn around their behavior.
- Thought: Get your teen the right help that instills positive reinforcement, continuing education and work on family conflict with an outside counselor.
Residential Therapy: Finally, a way to address negative behavior in a positive direction. Our teens need consistency in treatment. Starting and finishing with the same therapist, structure and program that builds your teen back up to making the better choices. Some parents are being convinced that using a short term program such as Wilderness Programs will prepare them for a residential program, however if you find the right program from the start, it serves the same purpose as a Wilderness Program (of course saving about $10K-20K at the same time). Choosing a residential therapy program does remove your child from their comforts of their home. It also gives them an opportunity to reflect and get back to basics.
- Concept: It took longer than 6-8 weeks to get to the place your teen is at, it will take at least 6-9 months to get your child back.
- Thought: Take your time and find the best program for you and your family both emotionally and financially. Consider that short term programs are like band-aids – they do peal off fairly quickly.
With Lindsay Lohan at 24 years old going to jail, it will serve to sober her up, however the rehab is what will help her to remain sober. Sadly, this may all be a moot point since at 24 years old, she is considered an adult and can just go through the motions – after all, she is court appointed.
Don’t wait for your teen to be over 18, get them help while you still have the ability and control.
For more information, visit www.helpyourteens.com. In Broward, Dade and Palm Beach County there is also The Children’s Trust that has local resources.
Tags: At Risk Teens, Boot Camps, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Tips, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Help, Troubled Teens, Wilderness Programs, Wits End
Sue Scheff: Loving your Teens – and Hating their Behavior
by Sue Scheff on Jul 15, 2010
When it comes to parenting teens, many parents have said, “I love my teen, however I don’t like them or their actions.” Does this make you a bad parent?
New York Magazine writer, Jennifer Senior, wrote a very compelling and thought provoking article. “I Love My Children – I Hate My Life.”
Although the article chronicles from baby age up through toddlers, many can relate to these families when dealing with their teenagers, as the feelings of disdain can become even stronger. You have nurtured your child, you have given all you believe he/she needed – including the best you could with your time, and your teen is still treating you with disrespect and defiance? What gives?
With today’s fast-paced world, difficult economic times, as well as the society of peer pressure among teens that leads to dangerous behaviors, parenting is more challenging than generations earlier.
How do you find the balance? The cliché teens will be teens, is common, but how do parents survive these sometimes difficult times?
Knowing that there is light the end of the tunnel can help, talking to friends and family that have gone through it all, can also help you get through these bumpy times. Remember, the teens years can be tough, but hopefully they do grow out of it and you will see your child leading the prosperous life you had planned for them.
In the meantime – don’t forget it is important for parents to have “me-time” and there is nothing wrong with it. It can help you be a better parent. In the same respect, remember to be a parent first, then their friend. Many parents miss this step and it can lead to difficulties in parenting with boundaries.
Be an educated parent, you will be a better one on the way…..
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, Parenting ADHD, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Depression, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Wits End
Sue Scheff: Teen Truth – Statewide initiative encourages positive lifestyle choices for teens
by Sue Scheff on Jul 14, 2010
Today teens, parents, teachers and others need as much as assistance in helping our children navigate through adolescence during a time of heightened peer pressure that can lead to very bad choices.
Teen Facts:
- According to a 2009 Florida Youth Risk Behavior survey, 50.6 percent (365,700) of teens surveyed have had sexual intercourse.
- 37 percent of students surveyed have had sexual intercourse with one or more people during the past 3 months.
- 16.6 percent of students surveyed have had sexual intercourse with four or more partners during their lifetime; the number was significantly higher among males surveyed.
- According to the Florida Department of Transportation, in 2008 there were more than 32,344 crashes. Of those crashes, 216 teens were killed.
The Florida Department of Health recently joined forces with WAHI Media to provide parents and teens with information to make good choices when facing critical decisions.
WAHI Media with the partnership of The Florida Health Department, developed an interactive website called TeenTruth.org.
“The TeenTruth.org WAHI uses real actors to target young people, parents, and citizens on a number of topics, including drug prevention, relationships, and healthy relationships betweens parents and kids” said Glenn Hallam, founder of WAHI Media. “The WAHI allows participants to respond to different situations and gain an understanding of the best ways to handle those situations in the future, in a way that traditional communication methods simply cannot achieve.”
Visit www.teentruth.org today and experience the knowledge to help you help your teens today!
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Resources, Parenting Teens, Parents Universal Resource Experts, Sue Scheff, Teen Depression, Teen Help, Teen Issues, Teen Truth
Sue Scheff: Fake Drug Can Have Dangerous Consequences
by Sue Scheff on Jul 13, 2010
As parents scramble to keep up with the challenges of raising teens today, they are now thrown another curve ball. Most know that smoking pot, although not legal and seems to becoming more addictive among youths, is a trend that some parents brush under the rug with the justification that “it is only pot.”
Now parents have a new concern and it is is being called, K2 – or “Spice,” Genie” and “Zohai” – that is commonly sold in head shops as incense and referred to as the “fake-pot“. Users roll it up in joints or inhale it from pipes, just like the real thing.
Synthetic marijuana is the trendy new way to get high, which is legal, but consequences could be dangerous. It is marketed as incense, however many are trying to get it banned. The package warns not to consume the product, however this is exactly what teens and others are doing.
Nationwide, the American Association of Poison Control Centers logged 567 cases across 41 states in which people had suffered a bad reaction to spice during the first half of 2010. Just 13 cases were reported in 2009. These reactions include seizures and elevated heart rates.
To date, Kansas was the first to ban this product followed by Georgia, Missouri, Kentucky, Alabama and Tennessee. Is Florida next in line?
Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.
Tags: At Risk Teens, Parenting, parenting advice, Parenting Blogs, Parenting Teens, Sue Scheff, Teen Drug Use, Teen Health, Teen Help, Teen Issues
