November is a month for taking the time to be thankful for so many things, so it is also very fitting that it would be National Adoption Month as well. This year, on November 19^th, Thanksgiving came early for many deserving children and families. All across the country, thousands of families were created or grew on National Adoption Day. National Adoption Day, which falls during is the culmination of a year-round effort to raise awareness of the 107,000 children in foster care waiting for permanent and loving families. Each year, more than 350 communities in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and Guam hold events to finalize the adoptions of children in foster care and honor their adoptive families. Eventsrange from courtroom adoptions to local celebrations. Since 2000, more than 35,000 children in foster care have had their adoptions finalized on National Adoption Day. This is truly a time of celebration!

In honor of this special month, I was offered the opportunity to interview the National Adoption Month “One Day” Project spokesperson, Willie Garson. Garson currently stars as Mozzie in the new USA Network original series White Collar. He is most well-known for his work on “Sex and the City,” where he played Carrie’s best friend, Stanford. Garson adopted his now 10-year-old son, Nathen, from Los Angeles County foster care in 2010 and was excited to share his experiences with us.

I was in a relationship for a long time, and she didn’t want to have kids, which is fine, that’s people’s choice. After that relationship ended I realized, ‘What am I waiting for? I don’t care if I ever get married, but I know I want a kid.’

The Alliance for Children’s Rights, a kids’ advocacy group in L.A. and member of the National Adoption Day Coalition, is one of my charities. So, when I decided to adopt I worked with the Alliance for Children’s Rights and the Westside Children’s Center, who guided me through the adoption process.

For more information on this wonderful event and to find out how to get involved, please visit www.nationaladoptionday.org.

Order today!

Reactive Attachment Disorder is increasingly being recognized as a trauma-based diagnosis in children who have insecure or disrupted early bonding relationships with their biological mother.  In the 1980’s RAD as it is commonly known became a formal diagnosis based on the recognition that deviant forms of attachment led to marked behavioral and emotional difficulties in children (1) and are caused primarily by maternal deprivation and severe abuse and/neglect.

So why do children develop RAD, can it be prevented, or is it as one caller asked me over the radio – CAUSED by foster care placement?  Very thought provoking!

RAD develops from the primary loss of the mother-infant/child bond.  The key deficits lie in two areas.  These are in terms of capacities to socialize effectively, and to form stable relationships over time.

Characteristics of RAD Children:

-        Severe neglect and/or abuse by biological mother prior to the age of five years

-        Difficulties in developing meaningful social relationships with others

-        Easily attaches to complete strangers who become caregivers and treats every caregiver as if they share a very close and intimate bond or will be detached from any caregiver and move from one to another without any distress.

Effects of RAD in Teenagers:

In teenagers, the ongoing symptoms of detachment remain.  What is different is the presentation.  The hormonal mood changes along with the feelings that they are not loved enough, not wanted, and feeling abandoned and rejected worsen their fragile self-confidence and they can become very affectionate one moment and violent and aggressive the next.  Foster/adoptive teens can express these emotional and behavioral changes with symptoms of running away, impulsively breaking things, punching, kicking, fighting, crying, and screaming and cursing.  These behaviors are often misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder and the young teen is placed on mood stabilizers that work as temporary Band-Aids.  Meanwhile, parents are bewildered, fearful of getting hurt or seeing the child hurt, and in efforts to get help use behavioral methods to enforce discipline.  Most of these techniques fail hopelessly and in severe cases, the teen’s condition worsens to the point that residential treatment and hospitalization become the new homes for these teens.  Later, untreated severely RAD teens experience homelessness as young adults, engage in substance abuse, crime, and unstable, high risk relationships.  All of these factors lead these teens into severe depression, suicide attempts, abusive relationships, and hospitalizations.

Treatment of RAD:

The good news is that surprisingly RAD treatment is astonishingly simple.  Major inroads into the workings of the human brain have identified the locations for traumatic emotions that are responsible for 99% of the teen’s behavioral and emotional imbalances.  The primary area is located deep within the brain and cannot be accessed through talk therapy.  Various forms of RAD therapy are successful. These are:

-        Attachment Therapy:  Based on the premise that RAD children do not know how to give or receive love

-        Holding Therapy:  Based on the idea that the teen has suppressed rage from the lack of maternal love as a child and needs to re-experience it.  In one study (2) foster children between 5-14 years old were held down and restrained while being prodded, poked, tickled, and yelled at until the child finally stopped fighting back.  When that happened, the child was released to the foster parent to attach to and be held.  Criticism of this technique is of the trauma of being confined and tied up.

-        Attachment and Bio-behavioral Catch-Up Therapy

-        Parent-Child Interactional Therapy (PCIT)

-        Behavior Management Therapy (BMT)

-        EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing

Further information and education regarding RAD and treatment for forms of RAD can be found in “The Supportive Foster Parent” www.thesupportivefosterparent.com and on Amazon.  Or the author can be contacted at 219-736-1000/drgbook@gmail.com.

References:

1. Volkar, Fred (1997). DSM IV ® Sourcebook.  Chapter 15. http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=Q6xkh3QdyGEC&oi=fnd&pg=PA255&dq=reactive+attachment+disorder&ots=tBr0Z9U3kp&sig=soQ2z0up4zF4CFjk–30e1VUTPg#v=onepage&q=reactive%20attachment%20disorder&f=false
2. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10422354

About the author and contributor  Dr. Kalyani Gopa:

I am a licensed clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience in diverse clinical settings.  I was trained as a clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences in India, began my doctoral training in clinical psychology in Vanderbilt University and completed my training at Alliant University. My areas of  interest are in parenting, becoming a foster parent, child and adolescent psychopathology, attachment issues, foster care assessment, adjustment, and training, child forensic assessments and treatment, juvenile delinquency, child sexual abuse expert witness testimony, long term sequelae of child sexual abuse, media relations, and immigrant experiences.  I am fortunate to be on the Lake County Child Protection Team and provide consultation in handling complex foster care issues.  And, on the Lake County Child Fatality Team. In 2002, I was the recipient of the Outstanding Service to Lake County award.  Currently, I hold the position as President/Clinical Director, Mid-America Psychological and Counseling Services in Merrillville, Indiana and supervise three outpatient clinics in Indiana and Illinois.  Currently, I also play the role of President-Elect, Clinical Psychology of Women, APA, Division 12, Section IV and the Statewide Liason for Public Health for the Illinois Psychological Association.

DOES your teen,

• always seem angry?
• have anger that turns into rage?
• show signs of depression, i.e., withdrawal, slipping grades?
• show disrespect to you or disrespect people in authority?
• self-protect by keeping people at a distance?
• lie, manipulate and steal?
• ever talk about his/her biological parents?
• want to find his/her biological parents?

DO you,

• feel comfortable about your teen’s behavior?
• recognize signs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)?
• believe you must be adopted to show signs of RAD?
• understand what is meant by the Primal Wound?
• think it makes a difference at what age a child is adopted?
• understand bonding and how it can be disrupted?
• understand the fear and pain of an adoptee?
• understand adoptee’ difficulty in trusting and showing love

It can be difficult to know if your adopted teen’s anger is normal and within the range of typical teenage behavior. Most teenagers get angry, especially during the years when their bodies are changing and the hormones can bring quick and severe mood swings. All teenagers are searching the world trying to find out who they are and what they want to become. They all want to know how the world will affect them and how they will affect the world.

If not addressed as a child, an adopted teenager has a duality of conflicts to overcome. Whether adopted as a baby or as an older child, this teenager has had a separation from the birth mother and this is a strong link that is not forgotten. Nancy Verrier calls this the Primal Wound. In the womb, Psychologists now agree that the child is very aware of the mother, how she smells, how she laughs and feels, even how she sounds. The baby has been inside the womb for nine months. This baby even realizes if it was a wanted pregnancy or an unwanted pregnancy – this baby knows. It also has an awareness of the physical, mental and emotional connection with the mother. Bonding begins before physical birth and possibly shortly after conception. Many professionals used to laugh at this idea and thought it impossible for a little baby to know and remember being separated from its birth mother. Alas, the tide has changed and the professionals now believe that this child couldn’t help but know the separation from the birth mom that carried it – and this is the primal wound that stays with that child forever.

There is a story that Nancy Verrier tells in her book, “The Primal Wound“ about a little girl who was adopted as a baby. She had never been told she was adopted. One night this four-year old child had a nightmare and called for her mommy. Her adopted mother went in to comfort her and held her and told her everything would be okay because “Mommy was here.” The little girl said, “No, I want my other mommy.” This story is not unique and other similar stories have surfaced. How did this child know?

Many adopted children develop RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). This occurs when a child, teen or adult cannot attach and trust, as they should and experience trouble developing close intimate relationships. When the child is taken away from its birth mother, even if it is put in the home of a family giving the child love, this child is confused and knows this is not the same mother it had and its trusting abilities are lessened. If the child is put into a hospital, or foster care and then moved again and again, its trusting mechanisms do not know what it means to have a consistent caregiver to take care of its constant needs, i.e. hunger, pain, etc. This makes a child angry and scared and then the cycle has already begun.

After the child is adopted, hopefully in a loving home, a decision is made by the child as to what role to play within the family. Some have so many layers of anger and rage that negative behavior is exhibited constantly. Others may decide to be a complacent and pleasing personality because they want to make sure that these new parents are not disappointed or else abandonment will follow. Another choice is not to get close to anyone because this relationship probably won’t last and getting close will be painful when it ends. Several adult adoptee’s I’ve spoken to have confirmed this behavior. The more neglect, abuse and abandonment a child suffers, the more deep-seated will be this distrust for adults or anyone in authority.

It is common for adoption issues to remain hidden until adolescence. Sometimes a child seems well adjusted and happy during the early years and then everything comes out during the teen years. It is also very common for the child to stay in denial and hide deep feelings from everyone, even themselves, and in their teen years – which is an identity search time – these feelings rise to the surface. Usually, the child knows inside that something is not right but the complexity of their feelings give them fear and they hesitate talking about these fears since they believe they can trust no one.

You DO NOT have to be adopted to have RAD. Any child who suffered a separation from their original caregiver for a period of time could have symptoms. Separation from the mother due to illness or divorce can trigger separation anxiety, and divorce can also trigger guilt if the child feels part of the cause of the divorce.

Read the entire article: Click here.

By Johanna Curtis

Is your teen losing weight, suffering from severe acne, hiding food, or fasting? Could it be Anorexia or Bulimia? Causes, symptoms and treament discussed.

Teen Eating Disorders – Recognizing Bulimia and Anorexia

Does Your Teenage Boy or Girl Show Weight Loss, Increased Body Hair, Acne?

How to Spot the Signs of an Eating Disorder

Is your teen losing weight, suffering skin problems like severe acne, hiding food, binging, vomiting or fasting? He or she might have an eating disorder.  

Anorexia nervosa and Bulimia are serious eating disorders that have severe health impacts, sometimes even causing death in teens as young as eleven or twelve.

 Weight loss, over-excercising, acne, counting calories, depression and disorted body image, binging or uncontrolled eating, vomiting, and hiding food.  These are just some of the symptoms.  There are many others.

 Symptoms of Anorexia:

 Weight loss-15% below the ideal weight for her age and height.

Being obsessive about counting calories and eating fat-free foods.   

A fear of gaining weight.

Being cagey about eating habits.

Obsessive and compulsive or excessive exercising.

Abusing laxatives or diuretics.

Mood and emotional problems like depression or anxiety.

A severely distorted self and body image.

Loss of bone mass.

Absence of menstrual periods.

Low body temperature.

Death-from dehydration, heart failure or other causes.

The main symptom of Anorexia Nervosa is a marked fear of being fat and obssessions about being and becoming thin.  This usually translates into intense and secretive efforts to avoid food.  No matter how thin an anorexic girl or by becmes they will still see themselves as fat.  Ultimately the person will starve themselves, and use excercise and laxatives to aid this process. 

Unfortunately attempting to force an anorexic teen to eat will likely end in failure and might even make the problem worse.  This is because the disorder isn’t really about food or weight.  Some patients become obsessed with other health concerns like treating acne, hair care, or how they dress and behave. 

Anorexia is more than just a desire to look good or be accepted.  Teens with these diseases are looking for more than just a perfect body.  Anorexia is a complex psychological disorder that is linked to severe depression and low self-esteem.

Symptoms of Bulimia: 

Uncontrollable eating (binge eating).

Dieting, fasting and vomiting as weight control measures.  

Visiting the bathroom often after eating –usually to purge.

Heartburn, indigestion or sore throat.

Being obssessive about body weight.

Mood changes and depression.

Hoarding or hiding food.

Dental changes such as loss of enamel, cavities and abrasions –due to frequent vomiting.

Dehydration and electrolyte loss.

Bowel, kidney and liver damage.

Irregular heartbeat and possible cardiac arrest.

Teens with bulimia eat very large amounts of food and then induce vomiting to remove the food from their bodies.  They are not comfortable or happy with their self and body image. 

Most appear to be of normal weight, which can make the disorder difficult to spot, but some are underweight or overweight.  Some sufferers also abuse drugs and alcohol.  Bear in mind that many obese people have binge eating disorder but this is not the same as Bulumia.

Who gets Anorexia and Bulimia?

Around 75% of girls are not happy about their weight or feel they are too fat.  Anorexia occurs only in 1% of girls worldwide.  Do bear in mind that while eating disorders are more common in girls they also affect teen boys. 

 About 90% of sufferers are girls between 12 and 25 (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). Fewer than 10% are boys or men.  It is more prevalent in groups that value slim physiques such as athletes, dancers or models. As already mentioned eating disorders may be masked in seeking treatment for acne, skin problems, tooth decay etc. just as an adult might.

  What causes eating disorders? 

It is not known exactly why one person will develop an eating disorder and another won’t.  In two thirds of cases dieting can trigger the disease, but this is not the only important trigger mechanism.  Most girls and boys with eating disorders have low self and body image or co-existing emotional disorders like anxiety and depression. 

How dangerous are eating disorders? 

The effects of both Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia can be very damaging to the general health.  They can even cause death.  Diuretics (water pills), laxatives, and weight loss pills can be very damaging to the body’s organs.  Syrup of ipecac is often used to induce vomiting and is also deadly if used in excess. Very low body weight on its own offers some life-threatening complications.  

Some effects are minor such as skin, hair problems and back acne, for which treatment might be sought. Most teenagers do not need any type of diet, except a healthy one.  If your teen is overweight good eating habits and exercise is usually all that is needed to bring the problem under control.   

 The body mass index (BMI) of a teen is more important than calorie and pound counting.  A body mass index below the 5th percentile for the child’s age and sex can be considered underweight.  Consult BMI tables for more information. 

How to help your teen cope with an eating disorder:

Teens can be helped to avoid falling prey to unhealthy obsessions with food or weight by learning early on to associate healthy eating with good health and self-love.  Avoid excessive focus on weight within the family and place the emphasis on lifestyle changes not dieting.  

If you suspect that your teen has an eating disorder, use “I” statements and make sure he or she understands that you are concerned not judging.  It is important to LISTEN.  The average teen finds it hard to share emotions, and these teens are especially blocked or sensitive.

 In Anorexia nervosa it is very important that some weight is regained as soon as possible so this should be an important goal of treatment.  To do this, teens will need to overcome fears and perceptions in a therapeutic setting.  In most cases any eating disorder is best dealt with at a clinic or facility especially tailored for this.  

Concerned parents can call the National Eating Disorders Association’s Toll-Free Information and Referral HelpLine at 1-800-931-2237. 

If you uncover that your child does have an eating disorder he or she needs to be evaluated as soon as possible. Eating disorders need to be properly diagnosed by medical and psychiatric professionals. They always need medical attention.

The National Institute of Mental Health has an online brochure on eating disorders that discusses current research.  

Eating Disorders will also provide parents with information. Teens should read: Eating Disorders:  Facts for Teens.

Internet addiction afflictions rising each year

The internet is an incredible resource for information and entertainment, but it does have drawbacks. Besides creating an avenue for dangerous child predators to flourish, the internet has also caused a recent and misunderstood sickness to sweep across the nation. This dangerous new disease is known as Teenage Internet Addiction.

The idea of “internet addiction” began in the 1990’s to explain an unhealthy reliance on the internet that parents noticed their teens developing. Since then, the internet’s popularity explosion and use of sites like Myspace™ and Facebook™ have ushered in a new age of teenage internet addiction.

Sue Scheff™ and other parent advocates realize the danger of teenage internet addiction, and adopted teens are highly susceptible because they often experience Reactive Attachment Disorder, or RAD. RAD develops when a teen is unable to attach trust and development in interpersonal relationships. RAD is caused by the confusion and pain of a child’s separation from their birth mother. Even a child adopted early in life can experience dramatic RAD separation anxiety in their teenage years.

Sue Scheff™ has found that internet addiction increases feelings of anti-social tendencies and the inability to interact with others, much like RAD. Adoptive teens struggle to overcome RAD increases their vulnerability to internet addiction.

Teenagers should not be fearful of the internet, it is an attractive and exciting way to gather information and communicate with others, but parents must be aware of their adopted teen’s internet usage levels. Parents should never spy on their kids; instead they should focus on maintaining open lines of communication, much like they would when dealing with Primal Wound  or other adopted teen issues. Parents should ask their kids about their internet habits and ask to look at their Myspace or other profile sites. Parent should never look at teenage pages or pursue web history behind teen’s backs; this can alienate your teenager even more, amplifying feelings of anxiety or RAD.

There are some signs of teenage addiction associated with internet use that Sue Scheff believes parents should be especially aware of. Some of these warning signs are very closely related to teenage depression, another condition that many adopted teens face.

When exploring the possibility of internet addiction, check if your adopted teen experiences powerful euphoric feelings while on the internet and extreme anxiety while away from it. Also check if the teen has intense cravings for the internet, always wanting to return to it. Other warning sings include adopted teens lying about their internet usage and withdrawing from past activities in favor of increased internet usage. Internet addiction’s physical effects include dry eyes, drastic changes in eating habits, increased headache or backaches from focusing on the screen, as well as sleeping problems.

Placing the family computer in an easily monitored area is a good way to prevent internet misuse. Never ban the internet, but work on a time schedule that will be fair for both you and your adopted teen. Also work to encourage non internet activity, which means forcing other family members to reduce internet usage while encouraging outdoor activities.

Adopted teens are at a high risk for internet addiction because of their problems with RAD, but if parents foster healthy family communication practices, do an honest job of trying to understand their teenagers internet needs, and let their teens know they are ready to help them if they need it, than internet addiction and its side effects can be prevented.

Learn more here.