April marks the onset of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, making it a perfect opportunity for campus activists to bust some dangerous myths and misconceptions about the crime, many of which actively prevent victims from receiving the medical and psychological care they need to heal. Start out by educating classmates, faculty, and staff about the legal definitions of rape (remember to include the announced 2012 changes!) and sexual assault, then move on to the following essentials. All of these facts cover a wide range of information regarding the spectrum of sexual violence, from the verbal to the physical.
1. A victim DOES NOT “have it coming” if she and/or he dresses a certain way
Far more organizations, governments, and schools recognize this fact than just the linked-up Marion County, Oregon. In reality, rape and sexual assault victims (who hail from every single demographic imaginable) could be wearing anything at all when the crime occurs; such atrocities are the result of power hunger rather than lust, and foisting the responsibility onto the victim only amplifies their trauma.
Of these, 79% of the men and 78% of the women expressed reticence when it came time to file complaints, meaning escalating numbers probably don’t indicate an increase in incidents so much as more willingness to report them. Females were most likely to cite discomfort as their primary reason for holding back (58%), whereas 60% of men thought sexual assault wasn’t significant enough to report.
According to the CDC surveys, at least. But dredging up definitive statistics on just how many men and boys have been raped and sexually assaulted proves a tricky venture, as the prevailing stigmas against victimhood mean so many feel too ashamed to report crimes. Because of this, males on the receiving end of the trauma face an increased risk of depression, self-harm, and substance abuse.
Once again, though, the numbers might skew higher than that because of fear and victim-blaming. Compared to 0.9% of men, 2.5% of women reported sexual assault and rape occurred within the past 12 months.
Columbia University states that studies show around 30% of individuals suffering from eating disorders – mostly women – also experienced rape or sexual assault prior to the illness’ onset. Some of these estimate that a victim’s risk of anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and/or EDNOS might actually double.
Every state recognizes this, although they tend to prosecute sexually violent husbands and wives differently than their unmarried equivalents. Only recently were the laws reworded to make sure the rights of victimized spouses were properly protected, however, and in many parts of the world marital rape and assault are still considered perfectly legal.
Prevailing myths painting rapists and sexual assailants as proverbial strangers jumping out of the bushes couldn’t be further from the reality. The vast majority of victims knew the criminals before the incident or incidents took place; friends and acquaintances were the most likely to commit the crime at a rate of 38%, followed by intimate partners (28%), and relatives (7%).
A further one out of five will be raped while attending college, and the statistics paint them as one of the most vulnerable groups to sexual victimization.
Whether out of ignorance for what legally constitutes rape and sexual assault or just not caring, this statistic is certainly a terrifying one. Especially since 35.5% of college students were victimized by a classmate – more than friends (34.2%), partners or exes (23.7%), and acquaintances (2.6%).
Even more disturbingly, one in five who did rape or sexually assault a female classmate cited a complete lack of self-control as their prime motivator. They admit they place their sexual urges over whether or not the victim in question wanted to take part.
Either present in the bloodstream of one or more of the involved parties, although victims are still not to blame. Many of these traumatic incidents occur when the man and/or woman on the receiving end wind up too drunk or drugged to fend off their attackers and give a definitive “NO!” when propositioned for sexual activity.
These reports may or may not come partnered with other forms of abuse, such as neglect or physical violence. Many of these victims were children with behavioral (3.9%) or emotional (3.2%) disabilities, with a further 5.2% suffering from some other medical condition – though the data doesn’t always reflect sexual abuse. Eighty-one point three percent of total incidents were perpetuated by a parent or a parent and an accomplice, with 37.2% involving just the mother, 19.1% involving just the father, and 18.5% involving both.
Statistics on exactly how prevalent the most popular date rape drugs truly are prove difficult to come by, though a study by Canada’s Coalition Against Violence shows ketamine, ecstasy, rohypnol (“roofies”), and GHB as those typically encountered. Rapists hoping to incapacitate their victims usually combine these with alcohol in order to increase their efficacy, though they can be ingested alone – even consensually – as well. Because victims fear judgment over having drugs and alcohol in their system, their hesitance to report the crime makes it difficult for lawmakers and healthcare providers to receive a clear picture of how far the problem extends.
Probably the major reason nobody can establish a tangible grasp on how wide date rape drugging spreads is how often they manage to stymie routine blood and urine tests. The National Drug Intelligence Center says the human body metabolizes the most common substances so quickly, the victims who have ingested them have usually already passed them by the time help arrives or a report is filed.
Tel Aviv University chemistry professors Fernando Patolsky and Michael Ioffe have made headway on a straw capable of detecting ketamine and GHB (with plans for rohypnol) in beverages thanks to a sophisticated censor. While not available commercially, this research certainly stands as an excellent building block helping to keep women and men both safe from sexual predators.
Known as Rape-aXe and designed by Dr. Sonnet Ehlers, the anti-rape device acts as a sort of condom with toothlike hooks trapping a penis, finger, tongue, or inanimate object used to violate a vaginal opening. Reactions to the invention have proven mixed, with many critics fearing it might enrage a perpetrator to the point of homicide. Regardless, this invention marks a significant step in technology’s role in rape and sexual assault prevention.
However, the U.S. Department of Justice’s statistics only report the victimization of individuals over the age of 12. Which unfortunately means the exact number of Americans reporting rape and sexual assaults is much higher than that.
RAINN’s took the Department of Justice’s findings and number-crunched them to discover that this means a sexual assault and rape take place roughly once every two minutes. Beyond American borders, the numbers fluctuate, of course, but every incident is a terrible, needless one.
One of the horrifying myths genuinely preventing victims from coming forward with their stories – and even reporting the crimes in question – paints them almost universally as liars out to get back at or something from the accused. This, in turn, denies them the justice, support, and treatment necessary to heal. In reality, 2008 saw only 5.8% of cases deemed “unfounded” by the FBI. Thanks to victim-blaming popular assumptions, verifiable cases of rape and sexual assault are considered heavily under reported.
Keep in mind that the numbers offered by the Bureau of Justice Statistics only cover female victims of sexual assault, rape, and attempted rape. Between 1992 and 2000, 45% of reported cases sought medical assistance, compared to only 22% of nonreported. Every single rape committed during that time frame resulted in mild to severe physical damage, as did 29% of attempted rapes and 17% of sexual assaults.
The National Institutes of Health, the CDC, and other government institutions recognize verbal abuse of a sexual nature as a form of sexual assault. While it obviously causes no physical damage and does not require the same intervention tactics as an incident that does, the feds still consider it a crime. Sexual violence exists along a spectrum of severity, with milder words on one end and the most horrifying examples of rape on the other. Purely verbal assaults can still result in extended mental and emotional trauma, however, and should be taken seriously.
Of these, 16.3% were filed by male employees, busting up myths that only women wind up victimized by workplace sexual harassment. These statistics come courtesy of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
According to the EEOC, people unable or unwilling to practice courtesy and discretion in the workplace wind up costing their employers (and themselves) obscene amounts of money. Funny enough, the statistics available don’t include monetary rewards that come about because of a lawsuit.
Sociologist Holly Kearl set about collecting the world’s first definitive data on street harassment, or verbal and physical sexual assault happening in a public space. Depending on the nation, anywhere between 80% to 100% of responding women said they had been followed, whistled at, groped, honked at, or received unwanted comments of a sexual nature. She also noted the psychological results of the incidents, which ranged from changing daily routes and moving to triggering traumatic memories of previous assaults and rapes.
- Where to get help:
Always call the police in the event of an emergency. Domestic violence and family shelters almost always accept rape and sexual assault victims who need a place to stay – and if they have no room on hand, will always point them in the direction of someone who does. The vast majority of colleges and universities also offer resources, and completely free counseling, for men and women traumatized by sexual violence. Be sure to know where and how they work and what services they provide. At the national level, RAINN and Take Back the Night are the two biggest organizations devoted to victim advocacy and sexual assault and rape prevention and care.
Source: Bachelors Degree Online
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April is Alcohol Awareness Month.
Here are ten questions that are asked frequently by parents of kids, tweens and teens:
1) At what age would you suggest parents start talking to kids about alcohol? Should parents bring it up independently, or wait for their children to ask before broaching the topic?
Like with any sensitive and serious subject, as soon as a parent believes their child is mature enough to understand the topic (alcohol) is when they should start discussions. It can start by asking them their thoughts on alcohol, listen to them carefully and remember, never criticize. Start the discussion at their level and start learning from each other.
Education is the key to prevention and can help your child to better understand the risk and dangers of alcohol from an early age.
Waiting for a crisis to happen, such as living with an alcoholic or having an issue with a family member that has a drinking problem is not the time to start talking to the child. With this type of situation, the subject should be approached as early as the child can possibly understand alcohol and substance use.
2) If you’ve had bad experiences with alcohol in the past (ie you or a friend/family member has battled alcoholism or similar issues), should you be open about them with your kid? If so, when is the right age for kids to hear this information? How open should you be?
This is a very tricky question. On one hand we value honesty, however when a teenager likes to throw it back at you when they decide to experiment and it goes too far is when you realize you may want to pick and choose what stories from your past you want to share.
If you have a family member that has battled with addiction, alcoholism or similar issues, there is nothing like firsthand experiences (especially those people that are related to them) to help them understand how harmful this disease can be and in some cases, deadly. I think it is very important that your teenager know these stories and how it relates to them – especially as they go into middle school and high school and start feeling the peer pressure from to others to experiment with different substances.
3) Are there any websites or books that you’d recommend having parents read or showing kids (at any age)? Are certain types of information better for each age group (ie maybe children respond better to broad themes and videos, tweens respond well to anecdotes and stories, and teens respond better to hard facts about drinking and health)?
Ask Listen Learn: Is a fantastic interactive and educational website created by The Century Council For Underage Drinking. This site if full of facts, resources, videos downloads, games as well as more links that offer extended information. This site is targeted for all ages from younger kids to teens.
The Cool Spot: This is another great website for tweens and teens. This deals with information on alcohol and helping teens and young teens resist peer pressure.
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas – This is an excellent book for both parents and teens of a true story. It was a NYT’s best seller. Eye-opening and utterly gripping, Koren Zailckas’s story is that of thousands of girls like her who are not alcoholics—yet—but who routinely use booze as a shortcut to courage and a stand-in for good judgment. This book is more for teenagers and parents.
4) Do you think that schools and/or the media do a good job of warning kids about the dangers of alcohol consumption, or do they receive mixed messages about drinking? How might you incorporate your thoughts about this into a conversation with your child?
Schools and teachers do what they are paid to do, and in most cases, especially with dedicated teachers and employees, will go above their duty and do more. However it is the parent’s responsibility to continue to talk to their child about the risks and dangers of alcohol, as well as the peer pressure they may face in school and in their community.
Though many parents are busy today, some working two jobs, many are single parents – there are few excuses not to take the time to talk to your kids about these subjects. Whether it is Internet safety, substance abuse, safe sex, or simply homework – parenting is your priority. I am not saying this is easy, I know for a fact, it isn’t. I was a single parent with two teenagers, it was very hard. I think today is even more challenging since there is more obstacles to contend with than there was even a decade ago.
The good news is the most recent study by The Century Council says that 83% of youth cite parents as the leading influence in their decisions not to drink alcohol. Another words – our kids are listening and parents are doing their job parenting!
5) How often should you talk to kids about alcohol, and does it vary by age? (i.e. less frequently for younger children, more frequently for tweens, and most frequently for teenagers?)
As frequently as you have an opportunity. If there is a reason for it – if there is a conversation about it, expand on it – don’t run from it. This is for both tweens and teens. As far as little children are concerned, again it depends on their maturity and what your family dynamics consist of.
6) If you drink yourself, is it ever a good idea to allow kids to drink with you (i.e. a glass of wine at dinner) to de-stigmatize alcohol and help them be responsible? Or is it instead better to forbid them from consuming alcohol altogether until they are 21?
Alcohol is illegal for underage drinkers. However there are some that believe that a sip of alcohol isn’t be a big deal. I believe this is a personal decision, but if you have alcoholism that runs in your family, it is something that I would caution you on.
The other side to this is some people believe it would eliminate them from trying it at a friend’s house where they could get into trouble such as drinking and driving. I think this goes back to being a personal choice on for your family. It goes back to talking to your teen – communication. Keep the lines open!
7) If you suspect your child’s friends are drinking or pressuring him/her to drink, should you stop allowing your child to hang out with them?
Communication. Talk to your child about these friends. Find out what is going on and help your child see that maybe the choices he/she is making are not in their best interest. It is better if your teen comes to the conclusion not to hang out with these friends rather than their parent telling them not to.
8) Should the discussion be different for a daughter versus a son? How might you talk to the different sexes differently about alcohol (i.e. maybe you’d warn girls more about not having people slip something in their drinks at parties, while you’d warn boys more about alcohol and hazing/pranks.)
I don’t want parents to get confused on gender and alcoholism. It doesn’t discriminate. A girl or a boy can be slipped a drug in their drink at a party – just like a girl or boy can be coerced into participating into a mean prank of hazing.
With this, whether you have a son or daughter, you need to speak with them about the risks of leaving any drink alone and coming back for it. Keep in mind, you don’t have to have an alcoholic beverage to put a powdery substance into it (another words even a soda can be spiked).
The important issue is they understand that these things can happen and they can happen to them.
9) What should you do if you suspect your teenager is drinking against your advice?
Communication. I know it is easier said than done (and I sound like a broken record), however it is the best tool we have and the most effective. As hard as it can be, talking with a teenager is difficult, but we have to continue to break down those walls until they talk to us and tell us why they are turning to alcohol.
If you aren’t able to get through, please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed if you can’t, you are not alone. Again, teen years are the most trying times. Reach out to an adolescent therapist or counselor. Hopefully your teen will agree to go. If not, may you have a family member or good friend your teen will confide in. It so important to get your teen to talk about why he/she is drinking. Don’t give up – whether it is a guidance counselor, sports coach, someone he/she is willing to open up to.
Parents can’t allow this to escalate and only believe it is a phase. Maybe it is – but maybe it isn’t. Be proactive. Don’t wait for it to reach the addiction level. Don’t be a parent in denial. There is help and you don’t have to be ashamed to ask for it.
There are many typical teens that end up being addicts – don’t let your teenager be one of them.
10) Could you offer one specific tip for each age group (elementary school, tween/middle school, and high school) that I may have missed or that people might not think of?
For all ages, parents need to realize how important it is to be a role model. As I mentioned earlier, 83% of children are listening and are influenced by their parents. That is a large number. So continue keeping those lines of communication open – starting early and going into their college years!
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10 Early Signs Your Child May Have a Learning Disorder
In most cases learning disabilities won’t be identified in children until after they’ve been attending school for several years. Even then, the indications aren’t always obvious and consequently don’t present themselves clearly apart from formal training. Nevertheless there are some signs that parents can look for if they suspect that their child does indeed suffer from a learning disorder. Here is a list of ten such signs:
- Family History – For starters, a parent can identify risk based on heredity. Has there been a history of learning disabilities or congenital diseases which can lead or contribute to a learning disability?
- Substance Abuse by Parents – If either of the parents has had in the past or currently has a substance abuse problem, there is a higher risk of a learning disability in the child, particularly if the mother’s abuse continued through her pregnancy.
- Motor Skills – If a child shows slow development of gross motor skills (such as walking or standing), or small motor skills (like toes or fingers), this can be a precursor to a learning disability. Watch for these indicators during the first 6 months, particularly in combination with other developmental delays such as …
- Cognitive Skills – A child’s ability to recognize faces and retain information, such as repeating a phrase that he or she may have learned once already. An inability to learn skills typical for the child’s age may suggest an LD.
- Speech/Language – A child may display some difficulty expressing herself, or have a hard time understanding or recognizing letters or numbers. A doctor exam can isolate many of these cognitive difficulties and eliminate other possibilities such as hearing or vision problems.
- Poor Concentration – Although it is a separate issue entirely, ADD often is accompanied by a learning disorder and must be diagnosed separately. Yet a child who is dealing with a learning disability will frequently become distracted out of frustration.
- Delayed Speech – On the one hand, the child may begin speaking at a later age than should be expected; then there is delayed or faltering speech, in which the child struggles with correct pronunciation and the ability to express a thought clearly.
- Poor Retention – The child, for instance, may be able to follow along with a bedtime fairy tale reading quite well, but then not be able to discuss it in much depth afterward. Inability to recall information that was recently taught or shared is another potential warning sign.
- Difficulty Following Direction – A child with an LD might not be able to take simple instructions to complete a task. Bear in mind that most children with an LD have average or above average IQ’s, but simply lack the ability to readily apply it for some reason.
- Reading Comprehension – It is often difficult for a child with a learning disability to discern words, characters or be able to read effectively. Depending on the age of the child and the amount of schooling he’s received, reading ability can be a determining sign of an LD.
It’s important to point out that no one indicator is definitive proof that a child is suffering from a learning disorder. There are any number of other possibilities to consider as well. Only through careful observation and professional examination can a child be accurately diagnosed with a learning disability.
Source: National Nannies
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]]>Here is a special guest contributor, Stacey Honowitz with an article that is so important for everyone to read.
Stacey Honowitz
Sex Abuse, Why are we so Scared to Talk?
By Stacey Honowitz
I have been a Sex Crimes and Child Abuse prosecutor for close to twenty-four years, and I have noticed that many times when I talk to parents and inquire as to whether they have had this discussion with their kids, the answer is no. “Are you serious” I have exclaimed back?” In today’s society when there are sexual predators on television every other minute, you are too nervous to have a talk with your child about private parts and touching? It’s unreal to me and my colleagues who are in the business of protecting kids and punishing the perpetrators.
In this day and age of sex all over the internet and cable television, people are too embarrassed to say the words vagina,, penis, and penetrate to their kids but will let them watch reality television fake celebrities, get drunk, have sex and get naked on TV. It just makes no sense that I have kids in my office who could have gone for help and might not have been a victim several times over if they just knew what the proper steps would be if someone had touched them, penetrated them orally, anally or vaginally or made them feel uncomfortable about their bodies in certain ways. There are the real cases that I see, and age of the victim is no factor for the pedophile.
I, if truth be told am very harsh on people that cannot accept that a sexual predator could be lurking anywhere and that their child no matter how rich or poor could be the victim of their actions. What people fail to realize is that abuse has NO boundaries. A victim could be black or white, Jewish or Christian, fat or thin, tall or short or as previously mentioned, rich or poor. The abuser really does not discriminate in who he is picking as long as that child is vulnerable. What is sexual abuse, and why are we so afraid to admit that these talks need to be had? Why are schools only interested in discussing sex education in the upper schools, rather than possible sexual abuse with the younger kids? Parents want to pass rearing their kids to the teachers in schools, and the teachers feel that topics like this are off limits except in the household.. What are the proper steps and the warning signs that something might be going on?
First of all, as soon as you think your toddler is ready to understand body parts, teach them that their “privates’ are called vagina and/or a penis. What is the big deal, they learn about their eyes, nose, ears and throat. I know it’s funny to label your private something cute, but if your child eventually tells someone that they were touched in their “pocketbook” that person might not know what they are talking about. Its parents that thinks those words are so uncomfortable to say, at a young age it’s second nature for kids to say them. Teach them not to be afraid to tell you or another adult if they have been touched.
Education is knowledge, and as we know knowledge is power. If there is another adult who seems to want to only spend time with your child, especially when you are not around, don’t be afraid to question it. The on slot of gifts, trips, babysitting, usually does not lend itself to just being a good nice person. Many times we know that the true pedophile is at work, grooming their victim. Question the behavior, you might have good reason. I wrote my two books so that parents could break the ice with their kids about this delicate matter. “My Privates are Private” and “Genius with a Penis don’t Touch” are great tools, to help with this, take advantage of them and keep the conversation going!
If you need help, contact me through my website, staceyhonowitz.com. Conquer this topic, you and your kids will feel empowered!
Stacey Honowitz, a regular on HLN, CNN, Fox and MSNBC is also a resident of Broward County as well as a leading state prosecutor with over 17 years dedicated to the Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
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NO KIDDING, KIDS ARE ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THEIR PARENTS WHEN IT COMES TO TALKING ABOUT UNDERAGE DRINKING
In recognition of Alcohol Awareness Month, The Century Council, the leading national not-for-profit funded by distillers dedicated to fighting drunk driving and underage drinking, released new survey results today which reveal that parents continue to be the leading influence on their kid’s decisions to not drink alcohol. Additionally, the survey demonstrates when it comes to talking about underage drinking, kids are actually listening to their parents when they discuss this serious, important, and sometimes awkward topic.
According to the research, parental influence with regard to underage drinking has increased significantly over the past 10 years. Today, 83% of youth ages 10-18 years old, cite parents as the leading influence in their decision to not drink at all, or not to drink on occasion, which is up 28% proportionally from 2003. Parents rank significantly higher than friends/peers and teachers which tied for second as the leading influence on their decisions about drinking at 33%. Rounding out the top six influencers are; punishment (28%), brothers and sisters (24%) and law enforcement (23%).
“Contrary to popular belief the survey shows that parents do have a strong influence over their kids when it comes to underage drinking,” said Ralph Blackman, President and CEO of The Century Council. “Over the last 20 years, The Century Council has produced and provided educational tools and resources to parents, teachers, kids, coaches and other influencers to help make the conversation about underage drinking between parents and kids easier and more effective. Our Ask, Listen, Learn program is the most widely distributed underage drinking youth educational program of its kind in the country. While we cannot take sole credit for the improvement in conversations between caregivers and kids over the past nine years, we are thrilled to see the message to say no to underage drinking is resonating with kids.”
Risk of Underage Drinking is Resonating with Kids
Today’s survey indicates significant improvement in the effectiveness of conversations between caregivers and kids on the topic of underage drinking since first examined in 2003. A decade ago, research showed a disconnect between kids and parents on the topic of underage drinking. In 2003, only 26% of youth reported their parents or grandparents had spoken to them four or more times in the past year about the dangers of drinking alcohol, while 49% of parents reported to have spoken with their children.
According to the new research, parents are talking to their kids about underage drinking and they are listening. Nearly half of parents surveyed (46%), reported talking with their 10-18 year-old son or daughter four or more times in the past year about the dangers of underage drinking, and a nearly equal number (42%) of youth ages 10-18 reported speaking as frequently with their parents, grandparents, or another adult caregiver on the issue.
Underage drinking often becomes a discussion topic when there is an incident that triggers the conversation. According to the latest study, the top three conversation starters for parents and youth today are: (1) a tragedy reported in the news (54% parents, 47% kids; (2) something seen on TV or a movie (49% parents, 41% kids) or; (3) someone else getting caught with alcohol or drinking (37% parents, 36% kids).
“Concrete real world examples of problem drinking behavior are excellent places for parents to start a conversation with their kid about drinking. But with or without the perfect lead in, honest discussion of the negative consequences of underage drinking and the benefits of a healthy life style need to happen often and early,” said Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D. clinical psychologist and bestselling author of “I’d Listen to My Parents if They’d Just Shut Up” and “Get Out of My Life, but First Could you Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?”
Additional conversation starters to help parents approach the topic of underage drinking as reported by parents include: curiosity about alcohol (35%); learning to drive/driving the car (34%) and; going to a party or other social outing (33%). Additional topics youth identify as a trigger to get them and their parents talking about underage drinking are: curiosity about alcohol (31%); going to a party or other social activity (30%); information from school (27%); and curiosity about whether you have friends who are drinking (28%).
Visit www.centurycouncil.org and www.asklistenlearn.com to learn about other activities through the month of April and beyond as we place focus on National Alcohol Awareness Month and continue the work to keep our nation’s youth safe and alcohol free.
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The Century Council
The Century Council, is a national not-for-profit leader in the fight to eliminate drunk driving and underage drinking and is funded by the following distillers: Bacardi U.S.A., Inc.; Beam, Inc.; Brown-Forman; Constellation Brands, Inc.; DIAGEO; Hood River Distillers, Inc.; and Pernod Ricard USA. Headquartered in Arlington, Virginia, The Century Council promotes responsible decision making regarding beverage alcohol and develops and implements innovative programs and public awareness campaigns which ignite action through strategic partnerships. Established in 1991, The Century Council’s initiatives are highlighted on its website at www.centurycouncil.org and www.asklistenlearn.org.
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About the research
The Century Council contracted Toluna to conduct an online survey of 10-18 year olds and parents of 10-18 year olds living in the same household. Using one of Toluna’s demographically diverse panels, the survey matched parents of 10-18 year olds and their age appropriate son or daughter at the same time. A nationally representative sample of 509 parents and 10-18 years was completed February 15-16, 2012. Toluna is the world’s leading independent online panel and survey technology provider to the global market research industry. The margin of error among the national sample is + 4.3%.
TRU conducted the May 2003 research among 10-18 year olds and Wirthlin Worldwide (now Harris Interactive) conducted the parent research utilizing their April and May 2003 National Quorum surveys.
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How many time do I hear from parents how their teen has become someone they barely recognize? Their attitude. Their defiance. Their blatant disrespect. Clearly they are rebellious and how are we supposed to handle this?
Some great tips are here!
How to Handle Teenage Rebellion
Many parents with teenagers are well aware that raising a teen presents a challenge. A teen’s attitude can fluctuate from being kind and well-behaved to rude and rebellious in a matter of seconds. Many want to know how to handle teenage rebellion, but several are unaware of where to start. Continue reading to learn how to handle your teenager’s rebellious stage and start establishing the role you’d like in their life.
1. Listen
One thing that many parents have difficulty with is listening to their teen. It’s crucial for both parent and teen to talk and share feelings with one another. In order to communicate effectively,be aware of where your child is coming from and what his/her mindset is. Listening cannot only help our relationship, but also help identify issues that need to be addressed.
2. Enforce Rules & Values
When teens are going through their rebellious period, they break rules. This behavior can be improved by consistently letting your child know what is expected of them. Eventually, behavior will improve. Aside from enforcing rules, discussing values can also aid in improving behavior. Values are a huge part of life and making your teen aware of them can help them through their rebellion and throughout their entire life.
3. Allow Some Distance
Every teen is going to be in a bad mood every now and then. When this occurs, parents need to give them some space. If your teen is neither violent nor destructive, give them some privacy. There is nothing wrong with giving them time to take a walk around the park alone or go in their room and lock the door. Sometimes, a few minutes alone can calm a teenager down.
4. Get to Know Teachers
Getting to know your teen’s teachers and developing a good relationship with them can make it much easier, as well as make both yourself and their teachers aware of behavior problems. This can help build a support system for the child and yourself too.
5. Support Group
Although you may believe that your teen is the issue, there is always room to work on yourself as a parent. A parent support group/parenting classes can teach you how to improve your home environment and inform you of better ways to handle your teen when the rebellion switches into full gear. Bettering yourself as a parent can benefit your rebellious teen significantly.
6. Family Counseling
Family counseling can help to address the underlying issues that led to the rebellion. Every rebellious period stems from an underlying issue. This can be anything from school to friends or yourself. Once the cause of your teen’s bad behavior is addressed, a family counselor can then give the family tips, strategies and skills to repair these issues.
Overal,l leaning to handle teenage rebellion requires work, patience and determination. Getting involved in their life without being invasive is a great place to start. Aside from that, these tips should be very helpful, because they have proven helpful to me time and again.
Contributor: Kim Richmonds likes to write about parenting & saving money at www.homeinsurance.org.
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Order today!
As I speak to parents on a weekly basis, I often hear how maybe if their teen spent some time behind bars they would appreciate what they have, or if they struggled through a rough primitive program, Wilderness program, militant style, boot camp or that type of model, they could scare their teen straight…. I explain to them if they thought about another approach – finding a a program that can actually determine where this negative behavior is stemming from? From there work through it and start building to make it into a positive road to a bright future.
This recently released book almost seems to mirror what I have been thinking, though unfortunately, on a more extreme scale, these kids are incarcerated at a young age without a family that seems to truly care or without the means to get them outside help.
New Book Born, Not Raised: Voices From Juvenile Hall, Indicts Juvenile Justice System, Poor Parenting and Education Failures
San Diego Author Susan Madden Lankford, who explored homelessness and female incarceration in her two previous award-winning books, examines the plight of youngsters serving time in juvenile hall in her latest book BORN, NOT RAISED: Voices From Juvenile Hall (Humane Exposures Publishing).
For two years, Susan Lankford and her daughter Polly Smith interviewed more than 120 incarcerated teenagers, eight of them weekly. In this book she features their voices, views, writing and drawings—along with interviews with pediatric psychiatrists, neurobiologists, judges, probation officers and other professionals. In researching her previous book on women in jail, Lankford learned that a majority of them had at least two children in foster care, living with relatives or in detention. Because of the lack of basic parenting skills needed to produce productive individuals, many of their kids end up in jail, too.
“In studying these teens for BORN, NOT RAISED, I learned the major factors that added to or reduced the likelihood of their incarceration and recidivism,” Lankford explains. “One of the main things which I stress in the book is that there is a critical need for a family with a good-enough, consistent, loving and nurturing figure who helps children through the developmental stages to produce a curious, empathic and responsible youth, capable of resilience, adjustment, impulse control and good social skills.
“In this book I indict today’s educational system for its failure to respond to the needs of the global market and technology, as well as to the critical needs of students. I detail terrific programs which have discovered how to motivate kids who can’t meet classroom demands.
“A third major point is that we need to start teaching parenting early. Fourteen-year-olds in juvenile detention often have kids but have no idea how to parent properly. We also need to teach the reasons and means to avoid drugs, gangs and violence.”
Lankford believes that BORN, NOT RAISED contains information useful for university curricula, social work, psychology, criminal justice/corrections, medical school, law school, parents and parents-to-be.
“In researching this book, Polly and I became convinced that early education and youth development are the most effective strategies for breaking the cycle of at-risk behavior and helping youth from difficult backgrounds to learn the skills that will enable them to thrive,” Lankford concludes.
Order today on Amazon.
Watch a preview on YouTube.
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“GET BLUE” – NATIONAL EFFORT TO EDUCATE AMERICA DURING APRIL
April marks the 29th anniversary of National Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time dedicated to child abuse education, awareness and prevention activities. To observe National Child Abuse Prevention month, Love Our Children USA, (a national organization headquartered in New York whose mission is to break the cycle of violence against children) begins its ninth annual GET BLUE campaign – a national effort to educate and raise awareness for Child Abuse Prevention.
The “Blue Ribbon” is the symbol for child abuse prevention. Love Our Children USA urges every person across the country to GET BLUE. By wearing a Blue Ribbon pin during April and throughout the year, we can educate families, children, neighbors and communities on how to prevent child abuse and neglect — encourage communities and individuals in recognizing and preventing child abuse, assist families in achieving healthy parenting practices through education and resources and empower individuals to report child victimization and intervene in situations where violence and neglect harm children.
To signify the importance of the month, Love Our Children USA announces the Ninth Annual National Love Our Children Day on Saturday, April 14th. Created by Love Our Children USA, National Love Our Children Day is celebrated annually to honor children, strengthen families and raise awareness for efforts to keep children safe. Each year the day is recognized with a proclamation from New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
National Love Our Children Day is like Mother’s and Father’s Day for children and is celebrated across the U.S. This day was created to acknowledge the value of children and to educate parents on the importance of giving them love, protection and respect, the three essential elements children need to become strong and successful adults. By promoting healthy and happy children and strengthening families we can keep kids safe.
To create a greater awareness Love Our Children USA has created a virtual i-Walk which will take place online during the month of April. The awareness and funds raised will go towards parenting education programs to keep children safe and strengthen families. The i-Walk is sponsored by Karma 411, Rolemommy.com, Project You Magazine, Kenn Viselman Presents and the Oogieloves.
In just one year the number of child sexual abuse by teachers was alarming. There were five cases in New York City alone just in February and the scandal at the Miramonte School in Los Angeles shook the education community there. The Penn State and Syracuse scandals shook college campuses and all of the parents in the country who harmed or killed there children this year was tragic.
According to Love Our Children USA Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Ross Ellis “Child abuse has reached epidemic proportions and the unnecessary tragedies we’ve seen this past year calls for educating the public immediately and often.” Reports of child abuse nationwide have increased by 30-percent in the last 10-years. If the country thinks child abuse isn’t a problem, they need to think again. More than 3 million children are victims of child abuse each year and almost 1.8 million children are reported missing each year, many of whom are abducted from their homes and front yards. Those are only the ones that are reported.
“It is of critical importance that we educate the American public and raise a greater awareness to break the cycle of violence against children – before it starts,” says Ellis.
Ross Ellis said “A child’s voice is small, ignored and unheard. We must raise the volume so that everyone hears their message. Imagine if everyone in the country wore a Blue Ribbon — we could make such an impact in raising awareness to break the cycle that breaks children’s hearts, spirits and lives. We must protect our children instead of protecting the people who are supposed to be protecting our most innocent. ”
National Child Abuse Prevention Month is not only a timely opportunity to remind ourselves of our collective responsibility to protect America’s children and strengthen America’s families, but it is time to accelerate education and awareness of this very public epidemic and make our children a priority NOW. The country, our communities, concerned citizens, and even youth must work together to break the cycle.
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About Love Our Children USA
Love Our Children USA™ is the leading national nonprofit and ‘Go-To’ prevention organization fighting all forms of violence against children in the U.S. Since 1999, it has broken ground in preventing violence against children. Love Our Children USA teaches effective parenting solutions by creating valuable programs that empower positive changes in parenting and family attitudes, bullying and cyberbullying prevention, Internet safety and school violence prevention through public education. The goal of Love Our Children USA is Keeping Children Safe® and strengthening families.
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Fresh Air for All
Protecting Your Kids from the Dangers of Secondhand Smoke
Florida has come a long way in protecting its residents from the harmful effects of tobacco. Since 2007, with the help of Tobacco Free Florida, there are now nearly half a million fewer adult smokers in the state.[i] While much progress has been achieved, tobacco remains a critical issue. Helping tobacco users quit and preventing youth from starting are both essential steps to achieving a healthier Florida. Exposure to secondhand smoke (SHS) is also a serious problem that should not be overlooked.
That’s why this year’s Tobacco Free Florida Week, themed “Fresh Air for All,” takes a closer look at how SHS impacts everyone, especially children. The dangers of SHS have been known for some time. Still today, children and adults across the state are exposed to these harmful chemicals, hundreds that are toxic and about 70 proven to cause cancer. More needs to be done to protect Floridians, especially youth who face greater risks because their lungs are still developing. Lungs don’t reach full size until late teens for girls and after age 20 for boys.
Exposure to SHS increases a child’s risk of respiratory infections and common ear infections. Children with asthma who are exposed to tobacco smoke are likely to experience more frequent and more severe attacks. Out every five children who go to the emergency room for asthma attacks, more than two live with smokers. A severe asthma attack can even put a child’s life in danger.[ii]
At Home
There’s no denying that a home should be a safe place for children. Yet, the main place young children breathe SHS is in their own homes.[iii] If you live in multi-unit housing, it’s not just smoking inside your own unit that you should worry about. Tobacco smoke can drift into your home from other units and can put child’s health at risk. It has been proven that tobacco smoke moves along air ducts, through cracks in the walls and floors, through elevator shafts, and along plumbing and electrical lines affecting units that are nearby and even on other floors.[iv],[v] This is why one of the most important ways to protect yourself and the ones you love from the health hazards of SHS is to live in 100 percent smoke-free housing.
In the Car
Outside of the home, children are often affected by toxic SHS in cars. In 2009, one out of five non-smoking students in the U.S. was exposed to SHS in cars.[vi] Youth who breathe SHS in cars may be at an increased risk for adverse respiratory health, including current and persistent wheeze, hay fever symptoms, and decreased lung function.[vii],[viii] The only way to fully protect your children in the car is to never allow smoking. Opening a window or using ventilation, air conditioning, or a fan cannot eliminate SHS exposure.[ix]
At School
When they’re not at home or in car, children spend most of their time getting an education, where smoking is banned inside school buildings. However, not all school districts in Florida restrict smoking and tobacco use on all of their properties or at their events. In June 2011, Gov. Rick Scott signed a law amending the Florida Clean Indoor Air Act to give school boards the authority to designate all district property as tobacco-free. These school policies are an important step in building a healthier future for Florida’s youth. They create a safe and healthy environment for students, while sending a clear message that tobacco use is not a socially acceptable behavior and about the dangers of tobacco use.
Children of smokers are more likely to become smokers themselves.[x] You can model positive behavior and protect your children by quitting or by helping other family members quit. While comprehensive smoke-free air policies are crucial to protecting children from the harmful effects of SHS, one of the most important steps you can take as a parent is to quit smoking.
Tobacco Free Florida offers free and convenient resources to help Floridians quit tobacco.
· CALL: Call the Florida Quitline at 1-877-U-CAN-NOW to speak with a Quit Coach who will help you assess your addiction and help you create a personalized quit plan.
· CLICK: Enroll in the Web Coach®, which will help you create your own web-based quit plan that’s right for you, visit https://www.quitnow.net/florida.
· COME IN: Visit the Florida Area Health Education Centers (AHEC) Network’s website, http://ahectobacco.com, to locate your local AHEC and sign up for Quit Smoking Now group classes.
For more information on quitting tobacco and about supporting smoke-free policies in your community, visit www.tobaccofreeflorida.com.
[i] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey Data. Atlanta, Georgia: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010
[ii] U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006
[iii] U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006.
[iv] Office of the Surgeon General. The Surgeon General’s call to action to promote healthy homes. Washington, DC: Department of Health and Human Services, 2009.
[v] Public Health Service, Office of the Surgeon General. Children and secondhand smoke exposure: excerpts from The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: a report of the Surgeon General. 2007.
[vi] King B.A.; Dube, S.R.; and Tynan, M.A., Pediatricts. Secondhand Smoke Exposure in Cars Among Middle and High School Students – United States 2001-2009, originally published online February 6, 2012; DOI: 10.1542/peds.2011-2307
[vii] Sly PD, Deverell M, Kusel MM, Holt PG. Exposure to environmental tobacco smoke in cars increases the risk of persistent wheeze in adolescents. Med J Aust. 2007; 186(6):322
[viii] Kabir Z, Manning PJ, Holohan J, Keogan S, Goodman PG, Clancy L. Second-hand smoke exposure in cars and respiratory health effects in children. Eur Respir J. 2009;34(3): 629–633
[ix] U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General.” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006
[x] Child and Teen Tobacco Use. What parents and other concerned adults can do. Nov 17, 2010 http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/CancerCauses/TobaccoCancer/ChildandTeenTobaccoUse/child-and-teen-tobacco-use-what-to-do
For more information on quitting tobacco and about supporting smoke-free policies in your community, visit www.tobaccofreeflorida.com.
You know how easy it is to forget about a prescription that you never finished and stored in your medicine cabinet. Proper drug disposal protects your loved ones from misuse. Prescription drugs are the most commonly abused drugs among 12-13 year olds. Many of these pills can be found in your medicine cabinet and around your house. The National Association of Boards of Pharmacy Foundation and their AWARxE Consumer Protection Program are helping to stop this growing!
April 28 is theDEA National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day. If you have any unused prescription drugs in your home, you can drop them off at the designated collection site in your community on April 28. The DEA coordinates with the local law enforcement and community partners to provide thousands of sites across the country, many of them at police departments, so that the unwanted drugs are disposed of safely and legally. Sites will accept pills, both prescription and nonprescription, for disposal.
I had the opportunity to interview the Executive Director of the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy, Dr. Catizone on the dangers of Prescription Drug Abuse. Dr. Catizone is the Executive Director of the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy (NABP) and a licensed pharmacist. He currently serves as a Governor of the Pharmacy Technician Certification Board (PTCB) Board of Directors and Chair of the PTCB Certification Council. Dr. Catizone is regularly called to serve as an expert witness for the US Government in the areas of pharmacy practice and regulation on both the state and national level issues.
Check out my interview with Dr. Catizone below and visit www.AWARERX.ORG for more information on prevention and the April 28 DEA Take-Back Day. Also, don’t forget to like AWARxE on Facebook! www.facebook.com/AWARxE
A) What are the dangers associated with taking prescription drugs that are not prescribed to you.
Dr. Catizone: Taking a medication not prescribed for you can lead to serious health consequences, permanent injuries, or death. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that in 2009, 1.2 million emergency department visits were related to the misuse or abuse of prescription drugs. Controlled substance medications have the potential for abuse, and taking these medications if they are not prescribed to you could lead to addiction. Every year, 15,000 people die from an overdose of prescription painkillers, according to the CDC.
B) What is the best way to prevent teenagers from abusing prescription drugs?
Dr. Catizone: An important step is to talk with teens about the serious dangers of prescription drug abuse. A video recommended by AWARxE, called The Road to Nowhere, tells the story of a teen who experimented with prescription drugs at a party and became addicted to the drugs. A link to the video is available on the AWARxE Get Local Oklahoma page. Teens can visit AWARErx.org for many other resources.
C) Are there any other ways to dispose of unused prescription drugs besides DEA prescription drug take-back days?
Dr. Catizone: Many cities and counties across the country provide permanent medication disposal programs. Many programs provide a drop-box at a police department—these programs can take controlled substance medications for disposal. Other programs are run by hazardous waste disposal agencies or other entities that cannot accept controlled substance medications, but can take all other unused drugs for safe disposal.
Many of the AWARxE Get Local pages have links to local disposal programs, and we are actively expanding these resources. We are happy to take information about local programs and post it on our Web site. Anyone who has information on a disposal program can e-mail the information they have to AWARErx@nabp.net – we will review for inclusion on the respective state’s Get Local page.
If there are no drug disposal sites near you, there are options for disposing of drugs at home. The information that comes with your prescription may provide instructions on home disposal. Only some medications should be flushed down the toilet and the US Food and Drug Administration has a list of these drugs on its Web site. If there are no instructions for disposal you can throw the drugs in your home garbage. But first, take them out of the container and mix them with an undesirable substance like coffee grounds or cat litter.
More details about drug disposal programs are available on the AWARxE Medication Disposal page.
D) How can you tell if someone is abusing prescription drugs and how can you help them stop?
Dr. Catizone: Side effects associated with prescription drug abuse include dizziness, loss of appetite, unconsciousness, impaired memory, mood swings, loss of motor coordination, trouble breathing and rapid or irregular heartbeat.
Seeking advice and assistance from your family health care provider, such as your doctor is recommended. Your doctor can provide information and/or referrals to local programs that help identify abuse and treat addiction.
If teens are in need of help, a school’s guidance counselor can also be an excellent resource for local information.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provides an online substance abuse treatment locator and links to resources about addiction and treatment on its Web site.
E ) What can parents do to make sure the prescription drugs they do have in their homes will not be abused by their teenagers?
Dr. Catizone: Parents should securely store all medications in the household. For example, you may want to lock your medications in a secure cabinet or a medicine safe. In particular, you should securely store controlled substance prescription drugs, such as certain pain medications and ADHD medications.
You may also wish to keep track of the number of pills left in the bottle.
Remember that sometimes prescription drugs are taken out of medicine cabinets by visitors to the home, such as a teen’s guests.
If you have pills or medication that is no longer needed or has expired, dispose of it at an authorized DEA Take-Back location, or a local medication disposal program. The next DEA Take-Back Day is April 28, 2012 and collection sites will be located across the country.
More information about these events, as well as an alternate method for safely disposing of unneeded drugs in the home garbage, is available on the AWARxE Medication Disposal page.
Links for cited Web pages:
· The Road to Nowhere video: http://www.awarerx.org/State_OK.php
· Medication Disposal: http://www.awarerx.org/medDisposal.php
· Get Local: http://www.awarerx.org/getLocal.php
· FDA Drug Disposal Information: http://www.fda.gov/Drugs/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/BuyingUsingMedicineSafely/EnsuringSafeUseofMedicine/SafeDisposalofMedicines/ucm186187.htm#MEDICINES
· SAMHSA online substance abuse treatment locator: http://www.samhsa.gov/treatment/index.aspx
· SAMHSA links to resources about addiction and treatment: http://www.samhsa.gov/treatment/index.aspx.
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