Sue Scheff: Teens – Junior Year Stress

For the first time, the American Psychological Association is including young people in their survey about stress. They report that a third of kids say they feel more stressed out than a year ago. Kids say they’re worried about their family’s finances, school work, and getting into college.

But there is one year of high school that is more stressful than any other year: 11th grade.

Junior Krista, for example, has a long list of activities for her college application.

“I’m doing French club, and Habitat for Humanity,” she says, “and Feed the Hungry Club, and Make-A-Wish Foundation.”

There’s also JV lacrosse and, on most nights, four hours of homework.

“It just seems like if you don’t get into a good college,” says Krista, “then you’re not going to get a good job.”

Junior year is considered the most stressful high school year for many reasons: tougher courses, grades that count towards college, the SAT, and anxiety about the future.

“It’s kind of stressful knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life,” says Krista. “I mean, I have no idea.”

Experts recommend three ways for parents to ease the stress of junior year. First, set limits on extra-curricular activities.

“She has lacrosse right now,” says Krista’s mom Janice, “and I’ve limited both her and her sister to one sport at a time, because it was just getting too crazy.”

Another stress-reliever for juniors may be surprising, but it is considered critical – socializing.

“Anytime they are hanging out with their friends is stress management,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Andy Blatt. “They call it ‘hanging out’. Parents sometimes call it ‘doing nothing’. It’s okay. Just try and look at it in the way that it’s stress management.”

Finally, he says, help kids to not make a classic mistake.

“My friend Laleh, she’s actually graduating early,” explains Krista, “and she is taking five AP’s, and I’m taking one, and I’m like, ‘Oh maybe that’s not enough.’”

Comparing grades, test scores and college applications with other kids may seem inevitable, experts say – but it is a mistake.

“Don’t jump into this rat race thing,” says Dr. Blatt. “Don’t compare yourself to other people. Because really, the only race in life – towards college, towards the future – is the race with yourself.”

Tips for Parents

Pressures that are too intense or last too long, or troubles that are shouldered alone, can cause people to feel stress overload. The Nemours Foundation points out some stressors that can overwhelm the body’s ability to cope if they continue for a long time include:

• Being bullied or exposed to violence or injury
• Relationship stress, family conflicts, or the heavy emotions that can accompany a broken heart or the death of a loved one
• Ongoing problems with schoolwork related to a learning disability or other problems, such as ADHD (usually once the problem is recognized and the person is given the right learning support the stress disappears)
• Crammed schedules, not having enough time to rest and relax, and always being on the go

The most helpful method of dealing with stress is learning how to manage the stress that comes along with any new challenge, good or bad. Stress-management skills work best when they’re used regularly, not just when the pressure’s on.

Knowing how to “de-stress” and doing it when things are relatively calm can help you get through challenging circumstances that may arise. Here are some tips that can help keep stress under control:

• Take a stand against overscheduling. If you’re feeling stretched, consider cutting out an activity or two, opting for just the ones that are most important to you.
• Be realistic. Don’t try to be perfect – no one is. And expecting others to be perfect can add to your stress level, too (not to mention put a lot of pressure on them!). If you need help on something, like schoolwork, ask for it.
• Get a good night’s sleep. Getting enough sleep helps keep your body and mind in top shape, making you better equipped to deal with any negative stressors. Because the biological “sleep clock” shifts during adolescence, many teens prefer staying up a little later at night and sleeping a little later in the morning. But if you stay up late and still need to get up early for school, you may not get all the hours of sleep you need.
• Learn to relax. The body’s natural antidote to stress is called the relaxation response. It’s your body’s opposite of stress, and it creates a sense of well-being and calm. The chemical benefits of the relaxation response can be activated simply by relaxing. You can help trigger the relaxation response by learning simple breathing exercises and then using them when you’re caught up in stressful situations.
• Treat your body well. Experts agree that getting regular exercise helps people manage stress. (Excessive or compulsive exercise can contribute to stress, though, so as in all things, use moderation.) And eat well to help your body get the right fuel to function at its best. It’s easy when you’re stressed out to eat on the run or eat junk food or fast food. But under stressful conditions, the body needs its vitamins and minerals more than ever.

References

• American Psychological Association
• Nemours Foundation

Tags: College application tips, college applications, parenting advice, Parenting Teens, Sue Scheff, Teen Help